9.18.2015

Orgasm Equality Allies in the New Sexual Revolution: A List



I've been thinking a lot about how all of us people out there concerned about creating a better sexual world for the future can come (I'm ridiculous. I can't use the word come without giggling) together and be heard. The next Sexual Revolution, people! Anyway, for the future, I've decided to double down my efforts to seek and reach out to people with at least one similar sexual related goal.

For now, though, I thought I would share the people I have already found. Since I began this blog, I've been writing posts about people who buck the system a bit when speaking about female orgasm and put out some real honesty and thoughtfulness that aligns with Orgasm Equality. It may just be in a post here and there in their otherwise non-orgasm related work, but it's there. I think they are all bad-ass because doing that takes more bravery than you'd think. Lady-gasms are strangely controversial and render the speaker oddly vulnerable, so they're too often spoken about with formulaic, status quo talking points or with, maybe worse yet, personal bravado . It's always a breath of fresh air to blow past the usual bullshit and hear thoughtful discussion, and so I try my best to note it when I see it. I may not complete agree with every little thing each of these people say or believe on this topic, but I believe that a little agreement can go a long way, and a good movement needs a little diversity anyway, AmIRight?

I decided to link them all in 1 post here today, and I will continue to add to it. Anyway, here they are. They are not, by far, the only ones. It's only me here, so I do what I can. If you got more, tell me, and be sure to tell other people too.

Sexual Revolution, Orgasm Equality Allies

Artists, writers, and activists devoting much of their lives or a large portion of their work to the cause.

Sophia Wallace - Her Cliteracy campaign is on-point, fun and worth sharing. She's working full time on the same problem Orgasm Equality is, we just come at it from different angles. [HERE is an SSL piece on her]

Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross - Betty Dodson has been in the sexual revolution game for half a century. She's the mother of masturbation advocacy, and she's recently teamed with the younger Carlin Ross to bring her advocacy and wisdom to the internet age. Yay for the younger generations! [HERE is an SSL interview with Betty and HERE is an SSL piece on her]

Shere Hite - She wrote The Hite report. She's an OG of straight-up Orgasm Equality. We owe a lot to her. The Hite Report is a must read. [HERE is an SSL piece on HER]

Jenny Block - She's a writer and sex educator who is rocking that New Sexual Revolution hardcore. She reps the clit boldly and consistently. She's also a masturbation advocate and even wrote a book about it. I particularly liked an article she wrote about 'Female Viagra,' but I liked a lot of stuff she wrote, and you can see my list of 10 Top-Notch things about her HERE.

Alison Stevenson - She wrote a fab article and a follow-up article telling the world she gave up BJs and then thoughtfully discussed how and why she was sick of giving so much in sexual encounters when so often, so little was returned. Then she curated a Cunnilingus art show and straight up said women don't orgasm from penetration---that we need clitoral stimulation, like the bold, on-point bad-ass she is. [HERE and HERE are SSL pieces on her]

Scientists using progressive perspective and rigor to significantly move female orgasm research forward

Dr. Nicole Prause - She's a researcher that has acknowledged that the lack of physiological data (particularly data about pelvic muscle contractions at time of orgasm) is a major weakness in the library of lady-gasm research. She speaks beautifully honest and bold realities about what is needed for better experimental design in this discipline, and she's actually plugging forward to do that better designed research. Go get em! I have a post about her HERE.

Stuff about clarity of language when it comes to female orgasm

Bex vanKoot - I met Bex through our blogs and they a long-time Orgasm Equality soldier too - infusing writings right and left with her revolutionary flair. Bex also wrote an absolutely amazing article called Ecstatic Science and the Erotic Brain that I think beautifully melds the spiritual with the scientific when it comes to orgasm. Defining Orgasm For Myself is also an awesome article. I love me some Bex vanKoot. [HERE is an SSL pieces on this]

Stuff promoting the idea of Orgasm Equality in general 

Jill Hamilton - She wrote an article for Alternet about SSL that probably got more people interested in the topic than anything that had come before. I am forever appreciative. Before that, I virtually met her through our blogs. She has been a soldier in this revolution for years.
For instance -  a post containing a reader letter from someone calling themselves Lady J. It was a brave honest reaction to another post, and I thought it was awesome that Lady J wrote it and Jill Hamilton published it. Check it HERE.
Prior to that, though, she posted a brave honest post herself on the topic HERE. Bully for HER again!
She also wrote another post about SSL  - How to Make a Woman Come--Even If You Are That Woman. AKA Things I Learned from Science, Sex and the Ladies 
She is also now a writer of the Cosmo sex position lists - Check out the SSL piece on how she's orgasm equality rocking that HERE

Gemma Askham - She's a writer who has made a conscious effort to address the orgasm gap and write more progress, empowering articles about sex and female orgasm in mainstream women's magazines. She's got some great ones at her site, and I imagine there are more to come. [HERE is the SSL piece ont his]

Paola Ochoa - She saw SSL and wrote an editorial about females rising and frigidity being bullshit in a major Columbian Newspaper. It's in English HERE and Spanish HERE. [The SSL piece on this is HERE]

Mary Katharine Tramontana - She wrote a poignant piece about how the word "vagina" gets used in place of the word "vulva" when it shouldn't and why it matters a great deal to female sexuality. She writes other articles that are all revolutionary and shit like this one. Check more out HERE. [The SSL piece on this is HERE]

Suzannah Weiss - She wrote 12 Reasons Why There’s Orgasm Inequity (And No, It’s Not That Women Are ‘Harder to Please’). Clearly from the title she's on point. It's bold, thoughtful, realistic, and you should check out this revolutionary lady's work. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Stuff specifically focusing on the deeper societal causes of orgasm inequality 

Annamarie Jagose - She wrote a bad ass article that blew past the surface points about women's orgasm inequality and spoke about the deeper societal issues that strangely allow the details of the orgasm inequality problem to be well known and often discussed without it ever really being addressed. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Stuff about female masturbation

Maya Dusenbery - over at Feministing wrote a bad-ass pro-masturbation post tiled The Wednesday Weigh-in: Dirty Girl Masturbating Edition

The M-Blog - Championed blogging about masturbation experiences during National Masturbation month. I'm not sure if they are still around, but I loved their style. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Raphaelle Roux - She posted a bunch of Masturbation Graphs that are funny and revolutionary in that a woman is speaking so freely about her masturbation experience (shouldn't be revolutionary, but still is). [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Peachy Keen - A UK online sex toy store that wrote a fabulous post about female masturbation that was on-point and revolutionary (and extra points for being a sex-toy retailer that repped the very non-toy method of just using one's hands). [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Infinity + 5 - Is a 90's style pop group skit on an SNL skit with Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon, Elizabeth Banks, Vanessa Bayer, and Aidy Bryant. They sing about who they first got truly horny to. It's got realistic depictions/discussions of awkward teen girl masturbation, and it's just plain revolutionary. I'm including all the writers and stuff in along with the actresses. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Vanessa Marin - She's a licensed psychotherapist that specializes in sex related things. She created a absolutely fabulous instruction post for ladies about how to learn to masturbate with their own hands. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]


Stuff about sex ed and the young folk

Justin Hancock at Bish - A UK sex ed site that is one of the best I've seen. What really caught my eye was a Video calle "Why (Penis in Vagina) Sex Can Be 'Meh'"  [The SSL piece for this is HERE]

Melissa A. Fabello - She wrote a post called "Your First Time: A Sexual Guide for Girls," at Everyday Feminism, and it had some orgasm equality leanings, that I just had to share. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Nicole Knepper - At Mom's Who Drink And Swear, she wrote a lovely and funny piece about making sure her kids knew about the Clitoris. Check it HERE. It's fantastic. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Mary Elizabeth Williams - She is a writer among other things who did such a fine job of creating a kind and nuanced yet pointedly critical article about the ridiculous-ness and harmfulness of praising dads who aggressively guard their daughter's sexuality, that I had to add her to the list. It's called  Stop Cheering for the ol' "Hands Off My Daughter!" Shtickand her brand of discussion on this is good activism - a good example about how to engage better in regards to that Orgasm-Equality-inhibiting behavior. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Frothing at the Brain - A post from a young woman who was rightfully angry at not being educated about her clitoris until after years of sexual activity. There should be more anger expressed about this if you ask me. [HERE is the SSL piece for this]

Sarah Harvard - She is a young Muslim American journalist who stepped out of her normal journalism fare to write a great piece for Teen Vogue discussing her family's silence about sex, her late discovery of her clit, and the need for her generation of Muslim Americans to talk more about sex. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]


Adult sexual educations, instruction, information, advice etc.

Dr. Joanna Ellington (Dr. E) - She is a scientist discovered some cool shit about fertility and created a pretty sweet kind-to-sperm, easy-on-sensitive-vagina lube, and she also wrote a very intimate sexual autobiography called Slippery When Wet that I think is particularly useful to the large amount of women out there who deal with vulvodynia. [HERE is the SSL book review for this]

The Honest Liars Podcast (Colin Aulds and Adam Talbot) - They heard SSL and had a thoughtful conversation about it HERE, and then after I had some feedback decided to interview me HEREHERE, and HERE to get even deeper into a good discussion. Love them guys. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

D. Claire Hutchins - She wrote a book called 5 Minutes to Orgasm Everytime you Make Love. The title sounds like clickbait, but it's the most correct, simple, and straight-forward advice I have ever seen in a lady-gasm advice book...'cause despite popular myth, it ain't really that hard. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

The Suave Lover Podcast - Whatever expectations you may have about this podcast from the name, put them aside. They spoke about the clitoris and about men's part in sex in a really kind, realistic way. I haven't listened to it all, but the clitformation podcast was really good. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]

Lauren Gray - from The MarsVenus blog gave a fantastic answer to a question from "Marie." Check the full video and article HERE [The SSL piece on this is HERE]

Dr. Sandy Andrews She's a psychologist that writes at Blogging Behavioral. She wrote a post called Please Sir, I Want More. It's about women in need of more when it comes to our orgasms...more understanding, more listening, more discussion, more truthfulness, more trying, more cultural acknowledgement, and more...well, more orgasms. Loved it. [HERE is the SSL piece on this]


Celebrities that spoke out with Orgasm Equality flair

Mary Carey -  I've never talked to or met her, but a porn scene of hers is used as an example in SSL. Since then, I have heard her say some really real shit about orgasm, and I respect that, and I also thought she seemed really funny and kind. [HERE is a letter I wrote to Ms. Carey]

Kim Cattrall - I used a clip of her as Samantha in Sex and the City for an example in SSL. Samantha did not give us realistic examples of female orgasm, but Kim Cattrall has. She wrote a fabulous book about the topic, and I write HERE about why it was so brave and important of a thing for her to do.

Amy Schumer - She uses humor to spit the truth about female experiences with sexuality and orgasm. She is the only person to ever receive a 5 vulva SSL Review rating in TVMovie, and podcast.

Evan Rachel Wood - She bucked when the MPAA tried to make Charlie Countryman NC-17 just for some cunnilingus...especially with all the sexual violence in R-rated movies. [HERE is the SSL piece on her]

Nick Offerman - He randomly slipped in the importance of the clit in Rule #9 of his MensHealth.com 9 Man Rules. [The SSL piece on him is HERE]

David Banner - His song Play is one of the very few (maybe only) super sexual songs out there by a man (and there's not many by women either) that focuses on the clit exclusively as the thing that needs to be worked to come. It even says the word clit - seriously, how many times do you hear a man say the word clit in a song? Sadly, you never hear the word on the radio version of this song because it's changed to things like "hip". HERE's the uncensored version.

Ronda Rousey - Clearly she's more of a world class fighter than a sex advocate, but she is also a woman, a direct, out-spoken woman who gave her honest opinion when asked a question about what men should always do in bed. She got shit for it, but I think her sentiment was actually quite progressive and if you ask me downright revolutionary. Let me tell you more HERE.

Bridget Everett - She's a comedian that is full of orgasm equality flair in all her work, but her song "Put Your Dick Away" caught my eye in particular with its revolutionary female centered sexual bad-assness. [HERE is the SSL piece on her]

Rachel Bloom - She's an actor and writer who had a fabulous Twitter rant with lots of lady-gasm and clit truth-telling. She also is intentional about trying to add realism and particularly clit stimulation into her TV show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. [HERE is the SSL piece on her]

Stuff about porn, female gaze, and media critiques

Cindy Gallop - She created a fantastic thing call MakeLoveNotPorn. Here's her TED Talk about it.

Madelyn Ritrosky - She is the writer/producer of a short movie called Stardust & Moonbeams that puts the female gaze at front and center. She also hosted our first SSL test screening as part of a reproductive rights group down in Bloomington, IN.

Carly Rosenfield - She wrote an honest and thoughthtful article about how the MPAA affects what we see on movies and what that means to our sex lives. It's simply called We Need Better Sex in Movies.

Rachel Rabbit White - She did a lovely thing called Lady Porn Day.

Kat von Sass - This is someone I know. She's got other things to do, but she came to me and volunteered to do SSL Reviews of romance novels, cause she's an Orgasm Equality soldier, y'all! She's amazing. Check her reviews of Fifty Shades of Grey (books) and The Duchess Wars.

Yanna Tallon-Hicks - She has a great talk on the TED stage that acknowledges the problem of bad lady-gasm info in porn and speaks to why porn is used so commonly as a default sex ed and the problems with that.

Alexandre Rubinstein - She is an artist who has done all kinds of activist paintings about the lack of media images portraying women's orgasms, desires and fantasies; including a series showing famous men going down on women.

Stuff about "Bad Sex" (stuff that points out how crap the norms of sex are for the ladies experiences)

Alana Massey - Her journalistic beat is Feelings, and she wrote a fantastic piece called "A woman's right to say 'meh': being sex positive won't guarantee you an orgasm" telling all kinds of truths about what navigating our sexual culture is really like for women. She lays it down boldly and honestly and it's awesome.

EG over at Feministe - She wrote an article called Bad Sex about her experiences with some pretty harmful, but completely consensual sex, and challenges us to give negative aspects of sex for women a good hard look.

Rebecca Triaster  - She wrote a comprehensive, thought-provoking article called "The Game is Rigged" about the unfortunate silence in the feminist community regarding consensual, bad sex. It is revolutionary in it's perspective about a sexual culture for ladies, and it just might help the world realize there really is a problem here!

Stefani Ruper - She write Paleo for Women, which isn't aimed at orgasm, but one time she wrote a kick-ass honest, article on the subject called The Real Reason Women Orgasm Less Than Men.


Stuff about sexual trauma survivors

Jen Cross - Wrote THIS about orgasm and masturbation as healing for sexual trauma survivors. I am not a sexual trauma survivor, so I'm super interested in supporting people who are and who can talk about orgasm from that perspective. She also wrote 5 reasons for survivors to reclaim masturbation which is fantastic also.


Stuff about history, evolution and science of lady-gasm

Elisabeth A. Lloyd  - She wrote a book called The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Study of Evolutionthat brings to light the wierd way that a realistic understanding of female orgasm is often just disregarded in scientific inquiry. It's also just plain top notch philosophy of Science writing.

Stuff with a religious take


Frank Schaeffer - Posted an article called "If God Created Women to Make Babies Why Does the Female Orgasm Have Nothing to do With Procreation?" after watching SSL, and I LOVE that he incorporated the parts he thought made sense from the movie into his area of focus - religion. That's the kind of common ground creation I get excited about.

People who connect people and promote Orgasm Equality work

Patricia Sulburan - She initiated an interview with me on Columbian Radio about frigidity and did the translating. Listen HERE I didn't realize how controversial it would be to the anchors I was speaking with that there wasn't such a thing as frigidity. Patricia did some bold programming, and I respect the hell out of it.

Gilly Langley - She is a woman who uses her social media powers to avidly and consistently support, inform, and bring people together for, among other things, Orgasm, Equality, Cliteracy, and all the other lady-
pleasure revolutionary things going on out there. She's grass-roots revolution-izing! (Oh and she UK premiered SSL at a small screening - holla to that!) I wrote more about here HERE.

Haley Gleeson - She sees the revolution a comin' too and wrote about it HERE.

Robert Pyatt - This lovely man works with the Gateway Film Center in Columbus, OH to help get more science programming. He came across Science, Sex and the Ladies, and championed us, helping us get invited to Gateway Documentary Week where we were able to spread the good word to a big' ol crowd at the theater. Not only that, but he did his research about this blog and this movie, and is a big supporter of the message we are puttin' out there and the use of solid science to back up our arguments. The chance he took on our little movie will move our message into an exponential number of new ears.


Stuff from bloggers that's a personal take on something but with a solid Orgasm Equality edge 

Kate Leaver - By god we need more people standing up for the ladygasm, out-loud and unabashedly. It needs us now. Ms. Leaver didn't have to stand up, but she did. She wrote a fantastic piece called  The Importance of Equal Orgasming, and told us that being an "Orgasm Egalitarian" was a non-negotiable for any man she were to date. Love it.

Reticulated Writer Blog - She has Orgasm Equality flair often, but I particularly loved this post that called No thanks, I'll just lick it myself.

In The Gaze of the Other - This is a post about divorce rates, orgasms, sexual education, and SSL. I love her spin on this.

Beauty Jackson - She wrote a post at BlogHer called My Body, My Orgasm, My Choice.  It's a good read about creating positive situations through being honest with yourself and your partners.

Taylor Romine -  She is the fall 2015 columnist for the Sex on Tuesday blog at the Daily Californian, and she wrote an honest and important article about the problem of women not knowing their lady parts. It's called Vulva Owners Unite!

Ellen at Ellen's Blog - She wrote her initial thoughts to an article I wrote about bad orgasm science, and she very introspectively and honestly put her thoughts out there in a way most people are unwilling to do. It was brave and thoughtful, and I write about it all HERE.



Also, all the people involved in the 5-vulva rated movies. Check them HERE.

No comments:

Post a Comment