Hello! Ms. Gilly Langley held true to her top-notch promoting and connecting powers and introduced me to an AB FAB post about female orgasm. It's simply called, Can we talk about female orgasm. please? and it's at a site called Peachy Keen.
It's fan-fucking-tastic. Let me count the ways.
10 It acknowledges that lots of women have no flippin' clue how to get themselves off, but it doesn't shame or blame us ladies for this seemingly grand ignorance. Instead it rightly looks toward larger aspects of our sexual culture.
9 It points out that movies give dudes a pretty good idea about how to actually masturbate (ya know, hand actions, lube, noises, etc.) and just plain doesn't for gals.
8 It appreciates porn, but knows that porn, bless its little male heart, does not help anyone learn how an actual female orgasm might happen.
7 It brought up the whole, sticking-fingers-up-your-lady-junk-is-supposed-to-make-you-come fallacy that permeates our collective sexual consciousness much too strongly, and lets us know that this fallacy can, sadly, deter ladies from masturbating.
6 It brings up the following food for thought about ladies using their own hands to masturbate.
...(Correct me if I’m wrong) I think most of us would rather own up to having used a vibrator or a sex toy to climax than our own fingers. Are we ashamed of our own ability to get ourselves off? We shouldn’t be, it’s like a mini victory every time I do. I have to stop myself from putting my t-shirt over my head and doing a circuit of the bedroom. So why are we happier to admit that a toy helped us get off than an essential part of our own bodies?Which is super cool because Peachy Keen is a site that sells sex toys
5 ...but it's not, like, hating on vibrators or anything either.
I’m going to blame/praise Sex and the City and the rise of the Rampant Rabbit for that one. Don’t get me wrong, if females are having orgasms and masturbating when before they couldn’t then that’s amazing!!! But let’s not neglect the importance and everyday popularity of masturbation without toys.4 And it really just lets us know that however we get the job done, is fine - no worries.
Just know that if you use your fingers to give yourself an orgasm and you’re not sure if you’re normal or not, you are. If you don’t do this but want to then give it a go. It might not happen the first time, or the tenth time but practise makes perfect.
If you do it with a toy or a different way like a duvet or a stuffed toy or whatever then that’s fine and normal too. Trust me.
Just remember that it’s a pretty useful skill to have or fall back on so that you can direct your partner to what you like or make it through uni.3 It gives great praise and recommendation for @OhJoySexToy, a really lovely comic series that I've been wanting to blog about for a while. I love seeing cool people hype each other, and I love that the particular comic (http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/masturbate/) it recommends is about explaining to women how to masturbate - cause as Peachy Keen clearly understands, we NEED more of that.
2 It makes a call for action that is simple yet incredibly important to the ol' Orgasm Equality Revolution:
So ultimately, if you feel comfortable doing so, I would highly recommend talking to your girl mates about masturbation. Use wine. You will have some awesome and some awkward conversations. It will reassure you and perhaps educate.1 It's just so F'in revolutionary and on-point from top to bottom. Magniiiiifico!
Anyway, this site - Peachy Keen - seems pretty cool. They are a sex toy site essentially, but they have a good philosophy and so forth (read more HERE). Unfortunately, they only currently deliver to the UK, but check them out anyway - they have recommendations. Anybody promoting female orgasm and masturbation in such bad-ass ways are okay with me - in fact they are so okay that I will put them right smack dab on the Orgasm Equality Allies List.