6.28.2013

Random Male Hite Report #1



Okay, I've been doing a thing called Random Hite Report, but today, I'm going to switch it up a bit. I'm going to use The Hite Report on Male Sexuality instead of the one on female sexuality. I have expressed many times on this blog about how important and worth reading the Female Hite Report is, but I am just as crazy about the one on males. Both of these books, simply ask people detailed, specific questions about their sexual feelings and experiences.  The female one opened one's eyes to the clear misunderstandings we have about the physical part of women's orgasms. The physical part of the male orgasm is not nearly as misunderstood, so the beauty of this book is simply in hearing about how men have experienced and felt about their sexual lives. I think it is an amazing - though fairly long - book, and I'd say it's a must read for anyone with an interest in males or females or sexuality, so I guess everyone.

Anyway - in this series, I just flip to a page and the copy it to the blog. Enjoy.

p. 350 The Hite Report on Male Sexuality by Shere Hite
Alfred A. Knoff. NY. 1981

a variety of ways with increesing rapidity to my partner. It is a mental effort that I put a lot of energy into-success about 90% of the time."
    "I occasionally masturbate to arouse myself prior to sex when I feel unaraoused but want to make myself available for my wife. I also psych myself up for the occassion."
    "During the last years it happened quite often. i try to tighten my penis by rubbing it with my hand."
    "At times when I have trouble getting it upI'll masturbate-discreetly so that my partner is not particularly aware of what i'm doing."

Others say the woman stimualted them:

    "My love is a genious at correcting the situation."
    "Manual stimulation helps. Otherwise, lying close helps. In difficult cases I try to shove it in anyway. My wife learned how to hold it so it can usually be pushed in even soft."

Some stopped to talk about their feelings, or whatever might be bothering them:

    "Sometimes I'm mad or bothered by something, and getting out what's on my mind usually works wonders on stiffening my dick. If I'm angry and say so, it may seem like a contradictions, but right after that, I can feel really loving (now that I've said it) and be dying to screw."
    "I used to feel like my penis was a different part of me-a sort of mechanical thing, not part of me. Now that I have done a lot of thinking and working on myself (maybe not neccesary if it weren't for htis crazy culture we live in), it feels very much a part of me. And I no longer have prolems getting an erection. If I don't get one, I know that it's just not what I want at the time, and I look deeper into my feelings at the moment."
    "If I feel preoccupied, mad at my wife-first I want to tell her why."

Some just decided to remain close:

    "I let being close to my love suffice, which it does admirably."
    "Once or twice I could not get an erection. i felt guilty about getting her aroused and then not being able to satisfy her. But on each occasion I said sincerely, 'I'm sorry,' and each time she said lovingly, 'That's O.K., it doesn't matter.' That kind of understanding made me feel better than a hundred orgasms."

A few other reactions:

    "I most often usually go to sleep."
    "When I have this problem, there is only one solution: a good laugh and don't take it seriously."
    "Grin and bear it."
    "Gnash my teeth."


6.25.2013

Oxytocin, Orgasm, Muscle Contractions, and Blood - A Journal Article I Read



Here's a little SSL blog segment I'm going to call "A Journal Article I Read." I'm going to try my best to give you a super quick overview of, well, a journal article I read. Unsurprisingly, they'll have something to do with orgasm or sexual response or something along those lines. I figure that if I'm reading them, I might as well relay the knowledge I gained to you all. The biggest challenge will be for me to be succinct. I am long-winded. I know this, and I try to keep myself in check, but it's hard. Plus, there's a lot of detail in a journal article, and the details are really where the interesting bits come from, but I can't just rewrite the thing. I have to make some choices. I will do my best though, so here goes.

"Relationships Among Cardiovascular, Muscular, and Oxytocin Responses During Human Sexual Activity"
Carmichael, et al. Archives of Sexual Behavior Vol. 23, No. 1 1994

  • 13 and 10 men all in good health got in an arm chair alone in a room (one at a time of course), got a blood pressure cuff on, a small anal probe up the butt to collect pelvic muscle activity and pelvic blood pulse amplitude information (because these were collected anally, the results of males and females could be compared directly), and a blood collecting needle in their forearm. They were free to watch porn if they so chose.

  • Before the actual test days, each participant did all that without data being collected on a few different occasions till they felt comfortable. Then, they were each tested on at least 2 occasions. They masturbated to orgasm using whatever technique they normally used (how exactly they actually stimulated themselves was not disclosed). They used a foot pedal to signal the beginning and end of their orgasm. This way their subjective identification of orgasm could be compared with the objective physical measures of orgasm. They were then questioned afterward about their subjective feelings about the orgasm they just had - how intense, etc.

  • So...In the end the scientists had the following data for 23 people from 6 minutes before they began self-stimulation to 5 minutes after their (final) orgasm:
  1. blood samples at 6 points during the experiment for testing Oxytocin levels
  2. continuous monitoring of pelvic muscle activity during length of experiment
  3. continuous monitoring of blood pulse amplitude during length of experiment
  4. blood pressure readings every 20 seconds during length of experiment

Results
  • 9 women and 9 men all were mono orgasmic
  • 4 women and 1 man were multiorgasmic (the multiorgasmic women all had 2 orgasms, and the multi orgasmic man had 5, with the final one including an ejaculation also)
  • "There was no statistically significant difference between men and women or between mono-orgasmic and multiorgasmic women in duration of self-stimulation and orgasm or number of contractions during orgasm time, length of orgasm or contractions had during the orgasm." (p 64).

  • In both men and women, from baseline readings through orgasm, there was a high positive correlation (meaning when one gets bigger the other gets bigger and when one gets smaller the other gets smaller) between Oxytocin levels (OT) and blood pressure; also between OT and muscle tension/blood pulse amplitude prior to and during orgasm.

  • 2 patterns of orgasmic contractions were identified. 
  1. "Type A is characterized by a continuous series of contractions whose frequency decreases with the passage of time" (p 69-70). 
  2. Type B is characterized by one or more "breaks" occurring for 2-3 seconds followed by resumption of rhythmic contractions or several regular contractions. 
  3. Type B correlated with higher Oxytocin levels, longer orgasms and more contractions during the orgasm. 
  4. 2 mono-orgasmic women, 1 mono orgasmic man and 3 multi orgasmic women displayed Type B orgasms for both experimental sessions. 
  5. 2 mono-orgasmic women, 2 mono-orgasmic men, the remaining multiorgasmic woman and the multiorgasmic man displayed type B orgasms for 1 of the 2 experimental sessions. 

  • Only for multiorgasmic women was there any significant correlation between their subjective description of orgasm intensity and levels of oxytocin and with muscle activity intensity. 
  • No significant correlations were found among the subjective ratings of intensity, pleasure, or satisfaction of orgasmand the number of contractions during orgasm, duration of orgasm, blood pulse intensity during orgasm, blood pressure during orgasm, or pattern of orgasm.

SSL significance: It confirms that the standard physiological identifiers of orgasm (muscle tension, pelvic blood congestion, blood pressure) described first by Master's and Johnson do indeed coincide with subjective experience of orgasm. It also confirms that males and females have rather similar physiological orgasmic experiences; that women don't take a lot longer or have particularly long or strange "types" of orgasms. However, unlike Master's and Johnson's studies, it did not find that the amount of contractions a woman had during her orgasm correlated with how intense she subjectively found the orgasm to be. It also points out that oxytocin, which is involved with uterine contractions during labor and with  milk cells for lactation, is also highly involved in sexual arousal and orgasm in both men and women - which is kinda old news, but to be fair, this was from 1994.

6.22.2013

More Fun Masturbation Meme-ish Type Stuff



 Hey there ya'll. It's Saturday. It's National Masturbation Month (SSL obsevered). I'm feeling lazy. Masturbation (particularly female) is an important ingredient in the the main cause of this blog - Orgasm Equality. I like when things are funny. All this, again (cause I did this a couple weeks ago too), leads to the obvious conclusion that I should post a bunch of funny(ish) meme-y type pictures that have to do with masturbation. So here goes again.
He better start working on his back and neck flexibility.

Oh, Bad Luck Brian, only you.

agreed.

dude.

sorta sexy in a robot kinda way

I love Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. I just wanted to say that.

Maybe just not believe in eternal damnation. Then there's no trade-off.

You do wear glasses though, as do I...and most of the world too.


6.20.2013

Feminist Pro-Masturbation Activism by Maya at Feministing



Since June's the new May here at SSL, I'm celebrating National Masturbation Month and part of that includes highlighting people with a feminist, orgasm equality edge who unabashedly support a pro-masturbation society. I happened upon a 2011 article at Feministing by Maya tiled The Wednesday Weigh-in: Dirty Girl Masturbating Edition. As I'm sure my readers know by now, I believe increasing female masturbation is integral to achieving orgasm equality, and I liked this article because it advocated increasing the percentage of females who masturbate since the male numbers are so much higher.

I particularly like the following passage. I certainly identify with it - especially the poor over-used stuffed animals. Although instead of "after a dozen plus years" I'd have to say "after a quarter century plus years." Also, I'd say the onlooker part is more than occasional...I mean, I'm a huge proponent and fan of masturbation involved in partnered sex stuff - for realz.
 ...Masturbation has provided the longest, most consistently-satisfying sexual relationship of my short life. From those first curious tinglings climbing up the sliding pole at the playground and the early years of well-worn stuff animals that moonlighted as “boyfriends,” it’s one that, like any good relationship, has continually evolved. Sure, it’s had its ups and downs. At times, seduced by the thrill of an actual human dude, I’ve been neglectful. At others, during seemingly interminable single spells, I’ve become bored (as people so often do) with such a familiar, sure thing. But, we’ve evolved–me, myself, and sometimes my vibrator–with an ever-exciting mix of new techniques, fantasies, locations, and the occasional onlooker. And after a dozen plus years, I’m still learning new things about myself, my body, and my desires–even when I don’t have a partner to explore them with...
Thanks you Maya for your positive radical contributions to the Orgasm Equality Movement. There's so much good shit going on out there - if we can all just combine our powers, we might just be able to move this culture a little.

6.16.2013

SSL's First Test Screening!



Hello out there! I'm rather excited to say that last night we showed the movie (Science, Sex and the Ladies - the one that this blog is a companion to) for the first time to a test audience. Now, given that I've been researching for this movie since about 2002, and we've been actively actively producing it since 2009, I'm pretty excited to finally be at this point - to say the least. These were literally the first people to see anything even remotely close to a finished movie besides the 3 of us that made it and our composer...so, I was quite curious to see what kind of response it got.

The fantastic volunteer test audience was a mix of people involved with a reproductive rights task force and members of a Universal Unitarian congregation. They provided us space and even some popcorn and drinks, and then they all took time to answer some questions on paper and then have a short discussion. I'm not gonna lie - I was more nervous than I thought I would be going into this, but they were great - honest, thoughtful, interesting.

We got some good insight that we'll take forward - particularly when it comes to marketing. There was definitely things mentioned that we were very much expecting to hear, and one thing that was a kinda surprising. Truth is - anything could have happened at this test screening, but I felt pretty relieved because many had strongly positive reactions to a variety of aspects of this movie. It's a little surreal, this whole thing, but it's truly exciting. We're working on creating some focus groups made up of a different demographic than what we had at this one. I think we'll do maybe 3 or 4 more and then we'll start really thinking about how to move forward.

I'll keep you up to up to date, but be assured, we're getting really close to a finished movie, people!

6.13.2013

Masturbation Blog Deserves Props



May was National Masturbation Month, but I kinda missed the boat and am celebrating it in June. However the people over at The M Blog celebrated it right, and I highly recommend you go check it out. They tried to masturbate every day in May, and then they blogged about it. Simple, really. In fact, if you're feeling wildly activist, check out their DIY instructions for creating your own masturbation blog.

I think it's interesting to read people's candid thoughts on their masturbatory endeavors. It's not something that one gets access to very often - at least not in an un-sensationalized way. It may give you some insight into your own experiences too.

As they point out in their description of the blog, "Masturbation is a revolutionary act."  Oh, so true. I see these M Blog folks as brave soldiers in the Orgasm Equality Movement, and I'd like to thank them for their bold activism. Many of them did a similar project last year in response to a blog called We Can Come Home, which is a blog I also greatly respect and wrote about recently.

 enjoy. masturbate. read a blog about masturbating. love life and all that.

6.10.2013

I Love Parades.



I'm going to stray off topic here. Instead of pondering ladyasm depictions in our media or some other crap like I usually do, I'm going to talk about something much more important and close to me heart. Parades. I love a parade. I am a natural critic, so I will critique the hell out of, during and after, but I will always enjoy it, and I will cheer. Oh how I will cheer. I don't care if it's some dude on a tractor with a poster board duct taped to the side or if it's the most beautifully large, sparkly, fluffy cloud float I've ever seen. I will scream accolades at you, because by god, I appreciate you taking time out of your day to entertain me.

So, now that you know my true heart, I can tell you that it was Pride week here in Indy. It involves a fabulous parade - the best we have. (This is where I need to confess that I've never been to the most famous parade in Indianapolis, the 500 Festival Parade that coincides with the Indy 500 race. I don't know why I've never been. I think for years I thought you had to pay to see it. I don't know how that makes sense, but it was always in the back of my head somewhere. That's my only real excuse. I will see it someday, I promise.)

Anyway, I loved the parade, and there were groups that really put in the time to do it up. I have great appreciation for a good solid effort to entertain in a parade. So...I want to give credit where credit is due. These are some photos Charlie caught from the parade. There was other superb stuff, but I wanted to focus on the more homemade endeavors of awesomeness that I noticed - which includes but is not limited to the following. Enjoy.

It's just a black truck, but I like the way it's fully decked out

They got married - and then chased a little wedding cake around

I love sparkles like nobody's business so...yes on the dress and the disco ball

How can you make the ol' politician in a convertible schtick fun? Giant Gavel, of course!

Fabuloso.
A Unitarian church had a bunch of people in crazy detailed, all pink costumes. I think it was my favorite effort of the parade. There are a few examples below.

You should have seen under the skirt


Like I said, the more sparkles the better in my opinion

Feathers? yes.

so much can be done with beads and knitting
The head piece was made out of all these spools of pink thread and yarn. There was a lot going on in this one.

Even had a little pink vacuum. That's what I'm talking about, people - details.


And well, I just liked looking at this one. (Although I thought standing on a moving car with no helmet or anything to hold on to was excessively dangerous)


6.08.2013

Funny Masturbation Meme-ish Things For A Saturday



Hey there ya'll. It's Sarurday. It's National Masturbation Month (SSL obsevered). I'm feeling lazy. Masturbation (particularly female) is an important ingredient in the the main cause of this blog - Orgasm Equality. I like when things are funny.

All this leads to the obvious conclusion that I should post a bunch of funny(ish) meme-y type pictures that have to do with masturbation. So here goes.

(Also, did you know they call it "fapping" in England? I didn't until I started reading pro-sex Reddit communities that had a bunch of English people in them. I kinda don't like the word. It sounds like someone is tucking really hard on a limp dick, but whatever - it's here to stay I think.)


Why, that's how I'd describe it too Sponge Bob!

I'm a righty only.

My cat's do love watching me masturbate. That's a fact.

Come on people, use good ergonomic technique! Get a wrist stabilizer if you need to.

exactly

It's true. You can hear your mother walking to her car after a PTA meeting from 7 miles away.

I guess Spider Man is British

Bad Luck Brian can never catch a break

If you must


6.05.2013

Orgasm Equality Activism from the Perspective of A Sexual Violence Survivor: "We Can come Home" Blog



I'm not a survivor of sexual violence, and so it's not something that I talk or write about on here very often. However, I know that a lot of women and men are, and I assume some of you reading this today are. The tentacles of sexual violence are criss-crossed through all areas of personal female sexuality, our cultural understanding of female sexuality and within any realistic endeavor into Orgasm Equality, so I do realize how important thoughtful and radical work on the subject of sexual violence is. I'm just pretty sure I'm not the best person to focus on it. I feel I should play more of a supporting role on this topic, so I will do just that now.

Which brings me to a blog called We Can Come Home: Orgasm As Radical Care:
 "coming home is a blatant celebration of the power of masturbation, particularly for survivors of sexual violence."
The blog is written by Jen Cross, and I highly recommend checking it out whether you are a survivor or not. It's good work regardless. I want to share a post I saw on there. It's what I would describe as a beautifully thoughtful Orgasm Equality activism post from the perspective of a survivor of sexual violence. It's called 5 reasons for survivors to reclaim masturbation. It's an important perspective that deserves a bigger platform, so here's me doing my little part to grow an audience. I've copied the whole post below, but do head to the blogsite also.

5 reasons for survivors to reclaim masturbation
I don’t often write these sorts of numbered lists, but today I’m thinking about why it matters that survivors of sexual violence reclaim their bodies, reclaim their desire, reinstate their sovereignty over their skin and hungers, taking all of it, every fiber, every nerve response, every singe of shame, every swallow of sorrow, every sob, every shapeshifted fantasy, every trauma-inflected stroke, back from the hands of the person or people who tried to teach us that our bodies weren’t our own.
For many years, I used masturbation primarily as as way to dissociate. Some survivors have used masturbation addictively, and/or as trauma reenactment — some of us had to masturbate as a part of our experience of violation. There are many reasons why we might want to put masturbation up on a shelf for awhile. Certainly there have been stretches of time when I’ve done that: no one can tell me anymore that I have to get myself off, and forcing an orgasm is altogether too triggering. There are times I want my body to be a place that has no sex in it.
And yet: when we are the ones in the drivers seat, when we are the ones making the decision about whether or not to come, when we are the ones deciding on setting and sensation, we can gently and joyfully bring pleasure back into our own skin. Masturbation can be a part of our experience of reclamation and re-empowerment and re-en-joy-ing our own skin.
But shouldn’t we be doing it with someone else? Isn’t that the biggest goal? Isn’t masturbation taking something from our lovers? Why should we learn to get off by ourselves?
1) First and foremost, and yes, it may be cliché, but it still holds true (at least, I’ve found it to be so): if you don’t love yourself, you’re not gonna be able to love anyone else. Masturbation can be a way to communicate to our own bodies that we believe we deserve love and pleasure — that’s some deep and affirming messaging in the aftermath of trauma.
2) “They” don’t get to hold masturbation hostage. Just because someone else trained us to masturbate for their pleasure doesn’t mean that they get to own this profoundly important part of our sexuality.
3) Masturbation is a way we can learn how we like to be touched, so that we can communicate that to someone else — someday, if we so choose.
4) When we allow ourselves to learn the contours of our own desire, we can begin to access the language of our own eros, our thoroughest longing, our biggest desires: in sex, in creativity, in life. Masturbation and orgasm can give us access to creative energy — and vice versa.
5) Our bodies deserve all the pleasure they can get. After a childhood of terror and a lifetime of panic or anxiety or shut-down or living just outside the bounds of our skin, we deserve as much pleasure as possible. All of us do. Every human. We deserve to feel good. Many of us internalized the idea that the only thing we’re good for is sex: that is, for someone else’s pleasure. That’s the idea I want to undermine, undo, root out. Our bodies are built for joy. Our bodies are built for strength and flight. Our bodies are built with an incredible capacity for pleasure — and we can find that pleasure in so many different ways. Sex is one way. Through sex with ourselves, we can begin to retrain those old messages, we can remessage our inside selves, we can tell our good and sore bodies: I believe in you, I want you to have joy, I want to learn how you like to be touched.
Of course, there are more than five reasons why self-pleasure can be a positive for survivors. Do you have other reasons? Please feel welcome to share them here.
Be easy with you today, and find some joy in your skin as it feels best to you. Come again soon, and enjoy this weekend. See you on Monday.
Of course, if you have answers to the questions at the end of her post, you should go to Coming Home and share your thoughts. I hope this was either useful of thought provoking. I'd like to heartily thank Jen Cross for her thoughtful activism and for her positive contribution to the Orgasm Equality Movement. Keep up the good work.

6.03.2013

Rihanna And Her Pro-Masturbation T-Shirt



Okay, Rihanna wore this shirt during National Masturbation Month (which is in May, but I'm celebrating it in June here on SSL). Jezebel had a simple and appropriate blurb on it. I have to say though, I have a little trepidation about putting this up on my blog. I prefer sticking to straight up physically related discussions of female sexual release and away from the broad messy world of general web feminism. Not that most of my posts aren't feminist. They certainly are, and not that I don't like pondering feminist issues. Oh, I do. It's just that I like keeping this post a bit more pure and clear-cut, if that makes any sense, and a picture of Rihanna with a hand-in-sexy-panties, seemingly pro-masturbation t-shirt seems like it goes into a murkier web-femininist territory...but what the hell.

I like the T-shirt. It's fun. It's pro masturbation in a very anti masturbation world, and it's also specifically pro-female masturbation, which is even more rare.

I'll give Rihanna props too. I know Rihanna is controversial (which is one reason that this seems like stepping into murky feminist waters), but I really don't know enough about any Rihanna gossip to even have a good thought on this in the context of all the Rihanna controversy stuff. I'm sure like most actresses and pop stars, and all people really, she's a mixed bag, so I'll just go forward assuming she's simply putting her star power behind a pro-masturbation culture.

I did check out the company that made the t-shirt. I'm not so sure their intention was feminist in any way, or even pro-masturbation activist. Honestly, I think it was more about having a slightly shocking shirt that included a fairly attractive lady-lower-half with her hands in her panties. But, whatever, there's a definite kernel of bold activism in a famous woman wearing it in public. It may be sexy, but it's also about a lady getting her own, and there's so little of that out there that I'll take whatever I can get, so I guess I'll just say rock on Rihanna.