Sarah Aaron - LIKDIT!

If you missed the first installment of LIKDIT! (Ladies I Know Doing Interesting Things), then check it out HERE. It includes a little background about what this series is all about. I'd like to point out, that almost every woman in my life (that I like) is doing something that I find courageous, or difficult, or adventurous, or truly kind. I think any interesting person dabbles in this kind of stuff from time to time. The LIKDIT! gals are just some of the extraordinary women in my life. They just happen to be doing something outside of their work or family life that is a bit more public - with a creative or philanthropic edge.

Made in France Postcard
So...Sarah Aaron is this installment's LIKDIT! You can see her above all dressed up as a 1940's mother for her role in Science, Sex and the Ladies. I decided to use this one because I just think she looks so damn lovely in this picture. Sarah has created a collection called The Museum of Love and Marriage. She has a blog (check it HERE) where she posts pictures of the items and gives a little background or thoughts about them.  It's just really neat unique stuff that she has acquired from all kinds of places over the years. She has beautiful old marriage certificates, pictures of couples and weddings, super old valentines, and a huge variety of love related items. I always love what she posts, and I've also been at the place that holds all these items. It's actually pretty amazing; a lovely experience to see these things. If she's not updating the blog, you can find her on the Museum of Love and Marriage Pinterest site HERE.

She's also an artist herself and makes the crazy coolest folk art I've seen. I asked her to make some "paper dolls" for a scene in our movie because I knew that whatever she created, I would love, and I was not disappointing. (I won't even mention the giant paper mache pterodactyl she made for the movie.)
Part of her contribution to Science Sex and the Ladies
 Now I'll let her tell you about the Museum of Love and Marriage: "It started years ago....15 maybe 20 years ago. I'd been thinking about love. It was one of those eras of my life. I loved everything sentimental and romantic. It occurred to me then that so many of the objects and stories that mark our lives with love, end up in dusty drawers or stowed in shoe boxes under the bed....their stories lost to the ages.  Military museums elaborate about every weapon and bullet used to fight a war. Yet, love goes on about it's business. I was talking to my sister-in-law, Linda McKibben Johnson, one day and I mentioned this observation. I added that there should be a museum for these artifacts of love. Linda says "Stay right there." She got up, went to her bedroom and came back with a beautiful, white lacy blouse. She dropped the blouse into my lap and said "Get it started!" I was dumbfounded... "Me?" I thought. She explained that the handmade lace blouse was a wedding blouse from Cuba and had belonged to a dear friend of hers - John Ledbetter- who had passed away. His wife was from Cuba and had worn the blouse during their wedding. She died at a young age. They never had any children and John wanted the blouse to be cared for.  She liked my idea for a museum and so with that blouse, I began the Museum of Love and Marriage. Before you load up the kids and head out to see this magical place...read on. Right now, the museum is pretty much in boxes. The very thing I was working to change. I have been working to get a datebook featuring many of these items published and that is still my dream." 

early 1900's marriage certificate

celebrating 50 years of marriage

Brett Favre wishes you a Happy Valentines (don't look at the picture he added on the back;)

Western love

tea cup and saucer found at a flea market in North Carolina

A Valentine to a lucky niece or nephew

Sonny and Cher!


G-Spot Songs Can Be Super Informative!

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone! I am being a little lazy with this blog, but on the other hand, I am also sending you to a rather fun article that will entertain you on this hopefully long weekend. Barnaby sent this link to me. It's a "A Guide to Finding The G-Spot Based Wholly On Songs About The G-Spot." Of course, we all know how accurate and realistic songs can be about female sexual anatomy and sexual release, so this is obviously going to be something you need to check out HERE.

Also, I'm from Indy, and today is the famous Indy 500 race, so I feel like I need to tell you to enjoy the race also - even if, like me, you're not watching or listening too it.


Sexing The Body - It's A Good Book

Today I thought it might be fun to just recommend a fantastic book Sexing the Body - Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality. It's a book that I read somewhere in the middle of my research for this movie, and it kinda blew me away. It is chock-full of information - detailed scientific, historical information - about our cultural understanding of sex and gender.

I have to be honest and let you know that reading and talking about sex vs. gender has become pretty boring and tedious to me a lot of the time. I think though, that it's mostly because I so often hear the same boring, uncomplicated arguments from social scientists (or armchair social scientists) who, to be frank, have a really simplistic understanding of things like hormones and genetics...or from biological/chemical scientists (or, yes, armchair scientists - of which there are surprisingly many) who have a really simplistic understanding of things like social learning.

Anne Fausto-Sterling's arguments in Sexing the Body throws the cultural and scientific understanding of sex on its head and thus brings a fresh point of view to the idea of gender. Fausto-Sterling wrote an article in 1993 called "The Five Sexes: Why Male and Female are not Enough." The article focuses largely on intersex individuals, which is just one important aspect of the Sexing the Body. However, there is a 2000 addendum to this article, and that's where I found the excerpt below. I think it sums up a major point of her book well.  

In the idealized, Platonic, biological world, human beings are divided into two kinds: a perfectly dimorphic species. Males have an X and a Y chromosome, testes, a penis and all of the appropriate internal plumbing for delivering urine and semen to the outside world. They also have well known secondary sexual characteristics, including a muscular build and facial hair. Women have two X chromosomes, ovaries, all of the internal plumbing to transport urine and ova to the outside world, a system to support pregnancy and fetal development, as well as a variety of recognizable secondary sexual characteristics.

That idealized story papers over many obvious caveats: some women have facial hair, some men have none; some women speak with deep voices, some men veritably squeak. Less well known is the fact that, on close inspection, absolute dimorphism disintegrates even at the level of basic biology. Chromosomes, hormones, the internal sex structures, the gonads and the external genitalia all vary more than most people realize.

 This book was published in 2000 - over 12 years ago, and although I do believe it has been somewhat influential- particularly in the intersex community, it hasn't received the attention it deserves. Like I said before, the most common discussions I hear and read on sex and gender go on as if this book wasn't written - when they should be building upon it.

In another life (one that isn't occupied with making Science, Sex and the Ladies) I would love to make a documentary stemming from this book. In fact, the very first script treatment I wrote for Science, Sex and the Ladies had tons from this book in it - stuff about rat studies and the science community's odd gendering of hormones as they were being discovered and researched. As time went on, though, we focused the movie in on the orgasm more, and the info from Sexing the Body had to be cut. It hurt, but hey - you have to keep on point.

So, if you are someone who is interested in the history of science, philosophy of science, gender, sexuality, or you are just someone who can get into any really informative and well written book - please check this one out.


Movie-Making Learnings Plus A Thought On Sexuality

Hey all! This is Charles filling in for Trisha. She's been a little busy at the day job, so I thought I would write a little something today. OK, this movie has taken way longer than we ever anticipated, but it's almost done, and we're proud of it. We're excited to move into this new phase of "getting this thing out there," and while I'm sure there will be an interesting learning curve there - no matter how prepared we think we are - we're ready. Its been an interesting process so far, so I'm gonna go over a few things this movie has taught or reinforced in me as filmmaker. I think they apply to pretty much any independent creative endeavor though - especially one executed by a group.
  1. There are things that cost time, and there are things that cost money, but a lot of things can cost either if one is creative enough. 
  2. Everything will break, inexplicably and usually not permanently, but enough to slow one down or ruin one's day/week. This applies to machines one uses, software one runs, and people one depends on. Be prepared for this. Have backup methods, and understand what is essential and what is not. This is not a matter of if but when. 
  3. There is a way to crew/produce an independent movie that is very different than the way one reads about in books by Hollywood people. There are essential on-set roles like boom and camera, but the management, wrangling, and  even the directing need to be much more fluid, and there is even less room for any ego on set.
  4. Digital asset management is the most critical thing. How you handle this will dictate how fast every other process can happen.
Yeah, those are movie things, and I know the readership for this blog is (hopefully) less full of filmmakers than persons interested in female sexuality and how we can be making it better. So, on that note, there is one thing that has continually been in my mind as we made this movie. Its not gonna shatter your brain, but it is food for thought.  Every generation has to learn sex all over again. Sex is not something you generally sit down with your parents or grandparents and discuss at length. Details, mistakes, funny stories, and tips about sex are not shared this way as they are with so many other things. They are much more likely to be shared between friends of the same generation as they figure it out with each other. Sexual discussion is very largely intra generational rather then inter. I feel like there are a lot of implications because of that, and I could go on for a bit but I think it will be more fun if I let you think them up.



Latest Round of Movie Fixes...Done.

I'm feeling pretty good. We just finished the latest round of edits, reshoots, fix-ups. We had a giant list of these things up on the wall - it consisted of 22 8x11 papers taped together behind the editing desk. The items are all marked off, and we just took a look at the movie - all put together - a couple nights ago. (Without some insane and stupid hardware issues that Charlie had to work through, it would have been a couple weeks before, but hey - that's the movie makin' life.)  

Anyway, we were really happy with all the changes. It feels like a real movie, and I have to give Charlie some major props here. He's the the one really doing the effects work, and I'm just gonna say, it's pretty bad-ass stuff. Obviously, there's not action or explosions like one would think of when thinking about effects, but pretty much the entire movie is an effect. It's almost all green screen - for one. Frankly though, it looks like there aren't a lot of effects in it - which I think is the best possible situation. Effects shouldn't look like effects. 

Now, the movie does have a really weird, stylized aesthetic that we've all been worried about pulling off, but after watching the movie, I'm super excited about it. This version is now in the hands of our kick-ass composer, and we'll be working more closely with him in the next month. We still have some small corrections and pep-ups for the movie, but it's barely a speck compared to what we've done. 

Here's some random pics for you to enjoy below. The first is me in a strange suit I had to wear for another scene as I'm primping an actor for her scene. The other ones are stills, and well, you'll just have to watch the movie to see what they're all about.


Hey Teens, Outercourse Is Better Than Intercourse

I haven't posted any Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross videos lately, so I thought I'd check to see what they've been up to, and I was lucky enough to find this. I do enjoy some of their little conversations. Betty is a pretty straight-shootin' 83 year old, and it cracks me up sometimes. In this one, the two are telling us all why teens shouldn't be having intercourse, and why they should begin partner sexual experimentation  with  "outercourse" instead (sexual experimentation in general should begin by one's self - of course :)). As you would expect, I agree wholeheartedly with their sentiment.

We have a whole section of the movie discussing the mix of; our culture's insistence on defining intercourse as the ultimate and most normal type of sexual interaction, the misinformation (or simply lack of information) passed on about female orgasm, the limited options that young people feel are available to them, and how that all facilitates confusion, unnecessarily burdensome dilemmas of desire, and risky choices. So I'm all for advocating masturbation and handies as safe, viable options for teen.T

he only thing I would take some slight issue with in this video is that some comments and wording make it seem as though lack of sexual knowledge, maturity, and experience are the main reasons why teen girls are highly unlikely to orgasm from intercourse. Truth is, though, it doesn't matter how old a gal is, the penis rubbing the inside of a vagina just doesn't physically make for female orgasm any more than rubbing a guy's balls makes for a male orgasm. I'm positive that Dodson and Ross didn't mean to sound as though maybe women naturally just mature into the ability to orgasm from intercourse (and that conversely, men, and their penises, naturally just mature into having the power to screw women into an orgasm). They simply meant that as women get older, more confident, and gain more sexual self knowledge, women then know how to and feel comfortable giving themselves or teaching their partner to give them the clitoral stimulation during intercourse that is needed to orgasm. Okay, now that I've said my piece, please enjoy the video.


Who's Scared of a Giant Vulva?

Well, I have a question. I don't really know who reads this blog, and I have no reason to believe that any of you who do will leave a comment - since I rarely get any comments all, but I'm gonna ask anyway. Would a real life vulva up on the screen make you uncomfortable? What about 3 vulvas? Now imagine them all close up with folds and hangy down parts just big on the screen in all their fleshy glory. What if some anonymous fingers were opening up lips and pointing out all the anatomical details?

I'm not asking this as an opening to some argument about something. I actually want to know how uncomfortable that makes people...cause that just might happen in this movie (Science, Sex and the Ladies). I have had feedback from 2 people, a man and a woman who watched a part of it on different occasions, and they both were a little worried that the close-up vulvas might be too much for potential audiences. These two aren't particularly prudish or conservative. I'd say they're like a lot of people who would watch the movie, so I'm not going to ignore the feedback.

However, Charlie, Barnaby, and I did think a lot about whether to use real vulvas or not to display the parts and the changes that happen during arousal. It's always been my stance that we should because I think that it is really hard to place diagrams of vulvas I've seen with the actual thing that's chillin' between my legs. I mean, lady parts all look really different, and the diagrams always have the lips magically spread and just kinda look like a series of  well defined holes and raised circular objects. I also think that a lot of people have never seen an unaroused vulva compared to an aroused vulva (I mean even in porn, you don't see aroused vulvas that often). I think some people probably don't even know there's really any difference except for some extra lube, so I think that's important too.

Anyway, I'm going to keep my mind open about it. We only use real vulvas as anatomy lessons and to demonstrate physiological changes, so there's certainly nothing lurid about them, but I don't want to turn the majority of my audience off before they even give the movie a chance. Above all, I want as many people as possible to watch and engage in this movie. If that means toning down the full frontal vulva, then I'll be willing to do it, but I'm hoping that doesn't turn out to be the case when we start testing the movie out on people. If you have any thought, I'd love to hear em'.


My Mom Is Supportive of My Female Orgasm Doc, and I'm Lucky to Have Her!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, so I thought this would be a good time to let all my readers know what a kick ass mom I have. (She wouldn't have approved of me saying that 20 years ago, but she's not too worried about my cursing these days.)

 It's not just that my mom believes in me and isn't ashamed that her daughter is making a documentary about female sexuality...or that she brought food and pretty table clothes to the big SSL cast costuming event where she and her sister, my fantastic aunt Faf, helped me figure out how to costume the era stuff...or that she also brought food to one of our big shoots...or that she and my dad showed up to be extras in the 70's era scene depicting a 'porn conference that never was'...or that she watched my nephews while my sister and brother-in-law were acting for us...or that she walked around our cast party amiably wearing the ice-breaker name-tag that included the definition of clitoris.

It's so much more than that. It's as big as the time and energy she put into me and my sister. It's as small as the itty bitty beak glued to the little yellow cotton ball from some long ago school art project sitting in an egg that she puts out every Easter for me to kiss. I know you're not in love with computers, mom, but if you happen to read this, please remember everyday how proud I am of you and how lucky I feel.

To my sister, my sister-in-laws, my aunts, my cousins, our cast members and friends out there raising children...as Tupac says, "Keep Ya Head Up," cause that shit ain't easy, but it is crazy important, and all my love goes out to you this weekend and always.

Happy Mothers Day!


Tiny Furniture: The SSL Review

Well, I just watched Tiny Furniture, and you know what, I enjoyed it. It's a 2010 indie movie written, directed and starred in by a woman named Lena Dunham. From what I've read flitting about on the internet, it's received mixed reviews. Some love it...it did win Best First Screenplay at the Independent Spirit Awards. Some loved it not so much. Mostly there was a lot of criticism involving the whiny, self involved, liberal arts major sort of vibe. Now, normally I hate a whiny movie, but I thought this movie was more funny than whiny. It entertained me, and that, my friend, does not always happen with this kind of indie movie. So, I say check it out.

So that's my quick over all review. The SSL review will also be pretty short. Tiny Furniture barely qualifies as having depicted or discussed female sexual response, but it still does, and so it's worth a little review. The first instance happens when Aura (Lena Dunham), a 22 year old just back at home after graduating college is talking with her younger teenage sister Nadine (Grace Dunham...Lena's actual sister). Aura is in the shower shaving her legs, and Nadine is sitting on the seat next to her talking. It's all spoken in a normal kind of jovial, making fun of your sister style.

Aura: Can I ask you something?
Nadine: I want to say yes, but usually when you ask me if you can ask me something it's not something I want to be asked.
Aura: Have you lost your virginity yet?
Nadine: I think you would know the answer to that question. Is that really something you need to ask me?
Aura: I don't know if I would know the answer to that question.You don't tell me everything.
Nadine: I think you would know.
Aura: I don't know....Have you ever had an orgasm?
Nadine: (flustered and laughing) I'm not answering a question like that. That's...If you keep asking me questions like that, I'm just gonna leave this bathroom, and leave you to your shaving.
Aura: There is no reason for you to shriek at me right now.
Nadine: There is because I'm not so over sharey, sharey like you. Like, I'm not just gonna go down into mom's studio and be like "Mom, Candice, like my heart is so broken and my vagina hurts so much!"

So, an older sister brings up orgasm to a younger sister - ah, so sweet. There isn't a lot here to critique, but she does separate the act of intercourse (which is, of course, insinuated in the question about virginity) from an orgasm. So in a way, this movie very slightly promotes the idea of orgasms emerging from acts other than the ol' in and out. I'll give it small props for that...Masturbation possibly? A little cunnilingus maybe? Mutual masturbation? Could it be dry humping (or clothes burning if you're Southern)? Anyway, it's small but worth a shout out.

The second SSL worthy thing happens later when Aura is having sex with a dude somewhere outside - inside a giant pipe. Classy? Yes it is, but hey, we've all lost a little class due to horny-ness at one time or another, haven't we? So they're looking for a place to do it, and like I said, end up in a cut piece of giant pipe. They get in, struggle to get some clothing loosened, and then when he gets his fly undone, she goes down. The camera pulls out to a far off shot of the pipe, and we hear him say, "suck it harder." Not seconds later, we see her on hands and knees and him working on entering her from behind. Just before it actually happens...

Aura: You don't have AIDS do you?
Dude: No. Do you?
Aura: uhn uh.
Dude: Do you have Herpe?
Aura: No, Do you?
Dude: No
As good as a  STD test, I say. He then pumps into her for a few seconds and she says, "Pull my hair." So, he does. He pumps a little more and then comes, pulls out, and sits back. During the whole short banging, she is looking off into the distance, kinda seeming like she's into it. Her mouth's open a little, and there is some little short, quiet, breathy grunts that I would attribute to the simple fact that she's getting pushed up in from behind. It really doesn't read at all to me like she has had an orgasm, and I'm sure it wasn't supposed to. So what does this depiction say to the audience about female sexual response? Well, it does not say that a little bit of doggy style will get a woman off, so it's not out in the world spreading bold faced lies, which is better than some I've seen. It's kinda silent beyond that. Although, I'll make a bit of a stretch and say it also insinuates something a little more.

First off, after it ended, she didn't particularly seem disappointed like she might if she didn't get an orgasm. She didn't seem much of anything in particular. Later when she was walking home with him and realized he's kind of annoying and dicky, she seemed bothered, but by this time, her problem with him seems to be an emotional issue.  Secondly, I think the pulling hair situation was meant to be kind of funny. Aura said the line really lackadaisical, and it's in this really strange location, and I think it's supposed to reference a kind of strange and common porn culture wanna-be sort of gal. However, I would argue that the hair pulling line could as easily be understood without any humorous undertones. Asking to have one's hair pulled during sex is associated with a kind of highly sexual, freaky-deaky sort of person.

So, let's review...the movie did not specifically point out Aura's lack of orgasm to the audience. Combine that with the hair pull and her tiny grunts, and I think you get a recipe for a non critical viewer to assume that Aura "finished" along with her dude. No, maybe that's too strong of a statement. It's more like I think maybe some viewers would just passively let that scene sit in their heads along with all the other sex scenes they've encountered and simultaneously passively allow intercourse and female orgasm to also be linked in their brains. So, I guess what I'm saying is this scene may just add to the status quo, and the status quo depictions of female orgasm don't tell a very truthful story (like that a little doggy style makes the ladies come!).

Okay, I know that was digging deep, but if I don't do stuff like that, and critique with just a bit too much of a fine edge, then who will? Anyway, I certainly don't think this movie added a progressive look at female sexual release to the world. It may have even facilitated (unintentionally) the stale, incorrect view that dominates our media.

I give it 3 out of 5 vulvas (I liked the sister orgasm talk, and I padded it because I thought a lot of it was funny, and because a woman wrote and directed it - it's my rating system and I can do whatever I want with it...).


Shere Hite, If You're Listening....

Hello Ms. Shere Hite. I have a pretty solid feeling that you don't read my blog, but - hey - there's a very, very slim chance you might. I did send you an email that included a link to ScienceSexAndTheLadies.Blogspot.com a while ago when I finally found an email address for you that did not bounce back. I don't know if that letter ever even got to you, but maybe it did.

You are a hard lady to contact, but I understand why you might want to be private...people did get a bit violent towards you here in America when you said "crazy" things like vaginal penetration isn't a good way to make women orgasm. So, this is just another way that I'm trying to establish contact. Maybe if I'm lucky, someone, somewhere who reads this blog will actually be able to contact you and let you know that I'm here and interested in talking with you.

Shere Hite character in Science, Sex and the Ladies movie (trailer HERE). This character is used to quickly discuss the important points discussed in the Hite Report...basically she's an on-screen narrator.
Shere Hite character, another on-screen narrator, and 4 women embodying ladies quoted in the Hite Report for my movie Science, Sex and the Ladies
I would love to interview you for my series about people who have had a unique and positive impact on the culture of female sexuality - particularly on the aspect of sexual release. The Hite Report was created before I was born, but when I finally came across it while researching for this movie, I was excited and appalled at the same time.

I really had never heard about the book before, but I soon realized that it is as relevant and true now as it was almost 40 years ago. I was then kind of appalled because it is also as revolutionary as it was almost 40 years ago, which unfortunately means that the things you (and certainly others of your time) were working toward in regards to the female orgasm, simply haven't changed as much as they should have. I hope that the movie I'm making can reignite the revolutionary perspective change in our culture that you and other forward thinking feminists of the time supported.

My contact info is on the movie website contact page...just in case...


Does It Matter That Women Fake in Porn?

I just read a post on Blogher called Why Is It Harder to Suspend Disbelief When We Watch Porn? The blogger has a female friend who occasionally acts in pornography, and when the friend was asked if doing porn was just like a job (as opposed to exciting or super sexual), the friend said it was more like a job. This got the friend thinking.

Is it really all that big of a deal that women don't orgasm in porn? We aren't bothered that people in a drama aren't actually falling in love or aren't actually killing each other in an action movie. People in movies and plays are acting for our enjoyment. Why is porn any different? Almost all porn is aimed at depicting male fantasy, and of course a male might be interested in seeing a woman obtain orgasmic pleasure from his every touch. Why are we so worried that women act as if they are orgasming while acting in a porn that is aimed at depicting this type of male fantasy? The author poses these questions and ends saying she is unsure how to balance her sense that there shouldn't be a problem with suspending disbelief in porn "with encouraging healthier views of female sexuality. And male sexuality, for that matter. Any thoughts?"

So, as is my nature on these subjects, I do have some thoughts. The blogger, in my opinion, is right that there is nothing inherently wrong with suspending one's belief about the actual pleasure that is received by the actual actors in a porn flick. I'm also with her about the fact that just because a woman doesn't orgasm from a particular Situation X depicted in porn, that shouldn't mean that Situation X shouldn't be depicted. Hey, a variety of fantasies and styles for depicting those fantasies is a great thing. All that said though, I believe we should absolutely be concerned about whether or not women actually orgasm in porn.

Men do orgasm in porn. Ignoring certain kink genres, male orgasm is a must in mainstream porn. We don't have to suspend disbelief about that. Yes, they take breaks during the sex and do other things that we audience members aren't privy to. It certainly isn't perfectly realistic on the male side either, but when the time comes...they actually orgasm. I don't have stats, so I'll just say that in mainstream porn, the vast majority of depicted male orgasms were elicited through an action that actually does elicit orgasm in men...and the vast majority of depicted female orgasms were elicited through an action that would not cause an orgasm in women. There is a HUGE imbalance, and this is important because porn is an important piece of sex ed for the masses. As much as people "know" that women usually fake orgasms in porn, these incorrect images are still extremely powerful and misleading. The ideas porn gives us about how women physically get to an orgasm leak from porn into our movies, TV, books, music, and eventually embed themselves in the minds of men, women, boys, and girls.

Porn, like it or not, is an important teacher, and it is giving us a mis-eduction about the female orgasm. Women are not physically less capable of orgasm than men, yet only about 30% of women claim to reach orgasm almost always with a partner. The male number is nowhere near that low. I believe (and I've actually made a movie that partially focuses on this...It's called Science, Sex and the Ladies and it's the whole reason this blog was started) that this discrepancy has everything to do with the types of activities we accept as normal in a sexual encounter. The clit...not the vagina...is the female organ of sexual pleasure. Porn stinks at getting that idea across, and as a result, a lot of couples out there are having sexual encounters that easily gives men orgasms, but rarely gives women orgasms.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that if we as a culture care about getting women the kind of access to their orgasm that men have, we should also care about showing more realistic depictions of female orgasms in porn. Once there is more balance between real male and real female orgasms in porn, then I will have no issue whatsoever suspending my belief. Thanks for starting an interesting discussion Rebecca Kling!