Laurie Mintz, Harper One. 2017.
A little background on where this book fits into feminist, lady-gasm writing, and on why I love it
So, you'll have to forgive me for just now getting to this book. To be blunt, it's fucking on point about ladygasms - probably the most on point book I've seen since the 1998 sleeper hit of sex advice books (with a title that feels way too click-baity), "5 Minutes to Orgasm Everytime You Make Love" by D. Claire Hutchins (who I've been looing for but have never found) - which basically just says, ya know, 'rub one out while you're getting fucked and you'll have an orgasm, people. It ain't that hard, and if dudes don't like it, fuck 'em.' I love the vibe of that book.
The 70's and the heyday of the clitoral glans and female orgasm
I'd also compare it to all the great feminist writing on female orgasm during the sweet-spot of ladygasm culture; post 1966 Masters and Johnson's "Human Sexual Response" research that gave us the detailed physiological info on female orgasm that debunked the the vaginal orgasm....but pre 1982 Whipple, Ladas, and Perry's "The G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality" that brought back (the completely unsubstantiated) idea of vaginal orgasm through the 'newly discovered G-spot' (the culture surely picked up on a BS idea of vag-gasms from this book, but completely ignored the useful info about female ejaculation's).
Anyway, in between those years you have lots of great writing including, but certainly not limited to The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm by Anne Koedt, Organs and Orgasms by Alix Kates Shulman; and of course, Shere Hite's "The Hite Report on Female Sexuality" - which all say basically the same thing as 'Being Cliterate' and the 5-Minutes to Orgasm book (because it's, like, the truth - even though our culture as a while refuses to see that), but all with their own fab way (but seriously read the Hite Report).
The 80s thru today(ish) and the rise of g-spot as vag-gasm maker
After the G-Spot craze hit in the early 80's, the anatomically and experimentally substantiated idea that the external clit area was what caused lady-gasms that was gaining popularity in the70's quickly took a backseat to the deeply held, but completely unsubstantiated (seriously), belief/desperate-hope that a woman could come from a good banging. The G-spot book allowed people to believe the 'newly discovered' G-spot was the reason vag-gasm could happen. Previous to the G-spot, and pre Masters and Johnson research, the misguided assumption was slightly different. They had been focused on the vaginal canal itself as the thing that could cause an orgasm, So the G-spot replaced the refuted idea of the vaginal canal as the cause of 'vaginal orgasms,' and even though there wasn't actual evidence for 'vaginal orgasms,' the g-spot became the vaginal orgasm scapegoat for decades until actually quite recently.
Current - the 'inner clit', 'clitoral bulbs', 'c-spot', what have you as the new exciting vag-maker
Only a few years ago, after the G-spot just couldn't hold onto it's myth anymore, the idea that the 'inner clitoris' or the clitoral bulbs or clitoral legs were 'discovered' and was the cause of 'vaginal orgasms' gained traction. It is no more valid a vag-gasm cause than the G-spot or the vaginal canals, but it none the less is the current, hot, progressive vag-gasm scapegoat. Like the G-spot and the vaginal canal before them, the inner clit is just another sad grasp at anything that might seem believable as something in the vag that might trigger an orgasm while a woman is getting a penis jammed in and out of her. It's sad because there is no physical evidence in all of scientific research, even with decades of trying, of an orgasm caused by stimulation inside the vagina: Ejaculation? sure. High arousal? of course. Orgasm? No. Yet as a culture we hold on so tight to the idea of intercourse causing orgasms for females as readily as they do for a male.
Sexperts are weak on the clitoral glans and shit hasn't changed
All that to say, outside of the heyday of the clit in the 70's. The discussion of female orgasm over the last 4 decades has been tainted by a strong making-of-room-for the idea women can orgasm from getting banged. This is true even of progressive, sex-positive, feminist sexual advisors and educators. Yes, of course, the best of them say that most women need clitoral stimulation, but they also take pains to point out all the ways women can come from intercourse too.
Outside of the fact that there is literally no physical scientific evidence that women can orgasm from vag-stimulation - which sexperts truly don't seem to understand- reasserting the idea that some women come from just fucking is harmful in another way. It acts to reinforce incorrect cultural assumptions. Cracking the door for vaginal orgasms leaves room for the avalanche of media depicting women coming from intercourse to crash through and drown out whatever small clit focus there was. I'm not saying there is not some value in sayin most women come clitorally. It's better than saying most women orgasm vaginally, I guess, but it leaves women believing there is valid evidence that some women do come vaginally- and there simply isn't - and with the overwhelming clout vaginal orgasm has in our world, it basically keeps sexual culture stagnant and the orgasm gap wide.
Like - it really does. Read the women talking about orgasm and masturbation in The Hite Report from the early 70's and then read Deborah Tolman's Dilemmas of Desire from 2005 where she interviews teenage girls about similar things. Guess what? Women and girls are just as confused, just as weirded out about masturbation, and orgasming just as little. Look at the questions women are asking sex advisors - it hasn't changed. 60 years later, we are still desperate to know how to come. It's not that hard, we just aren't setting up our culture to make it easy for us ladies, and a huge part of that is the unwillingness of even the most progressive, sex positive, feminist sexperts to take a stand and tell everyone that IT'S THE EXTERNAL CLIT - it's just as important as the penis - no ifs and or buts about it.
The Book
Dr. Mintz - bringin' back the external clit focus and popping out top notch lady-gasm surveys
That's a long intro to say that Laurie Mintz, with her book "Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters- And How To Get It" takes this stand better than just about anyone I've seen in the last 40 years. It's got that just-work-the-clit-for-god's-sake vibe which I love and desperately want more of, because that's the only way the next generation of people will get used to the clit being as central to sex as the penis.
Also, she does her own surveys in her University about how women are orgasming in partnered sex. She asks the questions in a more open way (and the way these questions about orgasm in surveys are asked matters so much - which she absolutely gets and I love), and she finds only 4% who claim to orgasm from penetration alone. There's a study about wording in her survey vs. others' that I will review later, but point is, she didn't get those sometimes large numbers people get and I venture to say hers are more realistic (I have a long-ass post about how people get these numbers and the problems with it). Point is, she gets to avoid all the "most" women need clitoral stimulation BS and just pretty much says that women need clitoral stimulations. That is a revelation, my people.
Dr. Mintz - not letting the vag-gasm loud minority derail the discussion (much)
We don't need hemming and hawing and back-stepping, just to avoid offending someone who feels they or their partner can orgasm from intercourse. The truth is if some person does orgasm from nothing more than stimulation in the vagina, they are rare, and we don't yet have any research that shows physical evidence of someone else orgasming that way. It doesn't mean they are wrong or that they are not enjoying sex right. It's just that we don't have evidence of them. Let them go enjoy their sex as they have been, acknowledge we may get physical evidence of their experience in the future, but their assertion of a clearly rare experience (and it is just an assertion) shouldn't derail accurate portrayals of how orgasms are known to happen for females - yet it does for almost every other female sexualit or lady-gasm book I've read.
Mintz doesn't hem, haw, or backstep, though. She indeed keeps the focus on the vulva - and off the vagina when it comes to orgasm. I will admit, though, there are a couple tiny moments when I see Mintz give a slight nod to the possibility of coming vaginally (G-spot, inner bulb/legs) but it's slight, downplayed, and also more of a description of how others think of things and not her own advise/thoughts. It's in her Section "Are there Different Kinds of Orgasm?" where she explains how different camps of people view that question and then finishes with an insinuation that it doesn't really matter and might "contribute to women doubting their own most reliable route to reaching orgasm." I think she does skirt around this issue a bit and does tip her hat slightly in a vag direction there for a hot second. I mean, I would love to have seen her go hard with a physical description of orgasm (as there is really just one physically observed/recorded orgasm reaction out there for both males and female). I'd also have liked to see a reminder that stimulation of the vagina alone has not been physically observed to cause those physical qualities of orgasm - so if there is some other orgasm out there, we don't know of it.
Anyway, that's truly my only real very slightest of slight criticisms. Largely this book is fab, and I'd recommend it to anyone. I think Laurie Mintz is hardcore doing badass Orgasm Equality work. I mean, she wrote this book, but she's also, I believe, teaching the contents of this book to college students in Florida every year. That's amazing, and also gives me a lot of hope.
Dr. Mintz - rockin' orgasm equality
Dr. Mintz - you are the highest order of Orgasm Equality Hero (highest order because, unlike you, not everyone on that list is full-on, pure cliterate, but they all are moving in the right direction and that's still important, I'll take all the Orgasm Equality Allies we can get).
