Being Cliterate by Laurie Mintz - 2 Thumbs on the Clit from Me!

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"Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters- And How To Get It" 

Laurie Mintz, Harper One. 2017.

A little background on where this book fits into feminist, lady-gasm writing, and on why I love it 

So, you'll have to forgive me for just now getting to this book. To be blunt, it's fucking on point about ladygasms - probably the most on point book I've seen since the 1998 sleeper hit of sex advice books (with a title that feels way too click-baity), "5 Minutes to Orgasm Everytime You Make Love" by D. Claire Hutchins (who I've been looing for but have never found) - which basically just says, ya know, 'rub one out while you're getting fucked and you'll have an orgasm, people. It ain't that hard, and if dudes don't like it, fuck 'em.' I love the vibe of that book.

The 70's and the heyday of the clitoral glans and female orgasm

I'd also compare it to all the great feminist writing on female orgasm during the sweet-spot of ladygasm culture; post 1966 Masters and Johnson's "Human Sexual Response" research that gave us the detailed physiological info on female orgasm that debunked the the vaginal orgasm....but pre 1982 Whipple, Ladas, and Perry's "The G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality" that brought back (the completely unsubstantiated) idea of vaginal orgasm through the 'newly discovered G-spot' (the culture surely picked up on a BS idea of vag-gasms from this book, but completely ignored the useful info about female ejaculation's).  

Anyway, in between those years you have lots of great writing including, but certainly not limited to The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm by Anne Koedt, Organs and Orgasms by Alix Kates Shulman; and of course, Shere Hite's "The Hite Report on Female Sexuality" - which all say basically the same thing as 'Being Cliterate' and the 5-Minutes to Orgasm book (because it's, like, the truth - even though our culture as a while refuses to see that), but all with their own fab way (but seriously read the Hite Report). 

The 80s thru today(ish) and the rise of g-spot as vag-gasm maker

After the G-Spot craze hit in the early 80's, the anatomically and experimentally substantiated idea that the external clit area was what caused lady-gasms that was gaining popularity in the70's quickly took a backseat to the deeply held, but completely unsubstantiated (seriously), belief/desperate-hope that a woman could come from a good banging. The G-spot book allowed people to believe the 'newly discovered' G-spot was the reason vag-gasm could happen. Previous to the G-spot, and pre Masters and Johnson research, the misguided assumption was slightly different. They had been focused on the vaginal canal itself as the thing that could cause an orgasm,  So the G-spot replaced the refuted idea of the vaginal canal as the cause of 'vaginal orgasms,' and even though there wasn't actual evidence for 'vaginal orgasms,' the g-spot became the vaginal orgasm scapegoat for decades until actually quite recently. 

Current - the 'inner clit', 'clitoral bulbs', 'c-spot', what have you as the new exciting vag-maker

Only a few years ago, after the G-spot just couldn't hold onto it's myth anymore, the idea that the 'inner clitoris' or the clitoral bulbs or clitoral legs were 'discovered' and was the cause of 'vaginal orgasms' gained traction. It is no more valid a vag-gasm cause than the G-spot or the vaginal canals, but it none the less is the current, hot, progressive vag-gasm scapegoat. Like the G-spot and the vaginal canal before them, the inner clit is just another sad grasp at anything that might seem believable as something in the vag that might trigger an orgasm while a woman is getting a penis jammed in and out of her. It's sad because there is no physical evidence in all of scientific research, even with decades of trying, of an orgasm caused by stimulation inside the vagina: Ejaculation? sure. High arousal? of course. Orgasm? No. Yet as a culture we hold on so tight to the idea of intercourse causing orgasms for females as readily as they do for a male.

Sexperts are weak on the clitoral glans and shit hasn't changed

All that to say, outside of the heyday of the clit in the 70's. The discussion of female orgasm over the last 4 decades has been tainted by a strong making-of-room-for the idea women can orgasm from getting banged. This is true even of progressive, sex-positive, feminist sexual advisors and educators. Yes, of course, the best of them say that most women need clitoral stimulation, but they also take pains to point out all the ways women can come from intercourse too. 

Outside of the fact that there is literally no physical scientific evidence that women can orgasm from vag-stimulation - which sexperts truly don't seem to understand- reasserting the idea that some women come from just fucking is harmful in another way. It acts to reinforce incorrect cultural assumptions. Cracking the door for vaginal orgasms leaves room for the avalanche of media depicting women coming from intercourse to crash through and drown out whatever small clit focus there was. I'm not saying there is not some value in sayin most women come clitorally. It's better than saying most women orgasm vaginally, I guess, but it leaves women believing there is valid evidence that some women do come vaginally- and there simply isn't - and with the overwhelming clout vaginal orgasm has in our world, it basically keeps sexual culture stagnant and the orgasm gap wide. 

Like - it really does. Read the women talking about orgasm and masturbation in The Hite Report from the early 70's and then read Deborah Tolman's Dilemmas of Desire from 2005 where she interviews teenage girls about similar things. Guess what? Women and girls are just as confused, just as weirded out about masturbation, and orgasming just as little. Look at the questions women are asking sex advisors - it hasn't changed. 60 years later, we are still desperate to know how to come. It's not that hard, we just aren't setting up our culture to make it easy for us ladies, and a huge part of that is the unwillingness of even the most progressive, sex positive, feminist sexperts to take a stand and tell everyone that IT'S THE EXTERNAL CLIT - it's just as important as the penis - no ifs and or buts about it. 

The Book

Dr. Mintz - bringin' back the external clit focus and popping out top notch lady-gasm surveys

That's a long intro to say that Laurie Mintz, with her book "Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters- And How To Get It" takes this stand better than just about anyone I've seen in the last 40 years. It's got that just-work-the-clit-for-god's-sake vibe which I love and desperately want more of, because that's the only way the next generation of people will get used to the clit being as central to sex as the penis. 

Also, she does her own surveys in her University about how women are orgasming in partnered sex. She asks the questions in a more open way (and the way these questions about orgasm in surveys are asked matters so much - which she absolutely gets and I love), and she finds only 4% who claim to orgasm from penetration alone. There's a study about wording in her survey vs. others' that I will review later, but point is, she didn't get those sometimes large numbers people get and I venture to say hers are more realistic (I have a long-ass post about how people get these numbers and the problems with it). Point is, she gets to avoid all the "most" women need clitoral stimulation BS and just pretty much says that women need clitoral stimulations. That is a revelation, my people.

Dr. Mintz - not letting the vag-gasm loud minority derail the discussion (much)

We don't need hemming and hawing and back-stepping, just to avoid offending someone who feels they or their partner can orgasm from intercourse. The truth is if some person does orgasm from nothing more than stimulation in the vagina, they are rare, and we don't yet have any research that shows physical evidence of someone else orgasming that way. It doesn't mean they are wrong or that they are not enjoying sex right. It's just that we don't have evidence of them. Let them go enjoy their sex as they have been, acknowledge we may get physical evidence of their experience in the future, but their assertion of a clearly rare experience (and it is just an assertion) shouldn't derail accurate portrayals of how orgasms are known to happen for females - yet it does for almost every other female sexualit or lady-gasm book I've read. 

Mintz doesn't hem, haw, or backstep, though. She indeed keeps the focus on the vulva - and off the vagina when it comes to orgasm. I will admit, though, there are a couple tiny moments when I see Mintz give a slight nod to the possibility of coming vaginally (G-spot, inner bulb/legs) but it's slight, downplayed, and also more of a description of how others think of things and not her own advise/thoughts. It's in her Section "Are there Different Kinds of Orgasm?" where she explains how different camps of people view that question and then finishes with an insinuation that it doesn't really matter and might "contribute to women doubting their own most reliable route to reaching orgasm." I think she does skirt around this issue a bit and does tip her hat slightly in a vag direction there for a hot second. I mean, I would love to have seen her go hard with a physical description of orgasm (as there is really just one physically observed/recorded orgasm reaction out there for both males and female). I'd also have liked to see a reminder that stimulation of the vagina alone has not been physically observed to cause those physical qualities of orgasm - so if there is some other orgasm out there, we don't know of it.  

Anyway, that's truly my only real very slightest of slight criticisms. Largely this book is fab, and I'd recommend it to anyone. I think Laurie Mintz is hardcore doing badass Orgasm Equality work. I mean, she wrote this book, but she's also, I believe, teaching the contents of this book to college students in Florida every year. That's amazing, and also gives me a lot of hope. 

Dr. Mintz - rockin' orgasm equality

Dr. Mintz - you are the highest order of Orgasm Equality Hero (highest order because, unlike you, not everyone on that list is full-on, pure cliterate, but they all are moving in the right direction and that's still important, I'll take all the Orgasm Equality Allies we can get).

Mothers Day Advice for Raising Clit-aware Kids

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This, my friends, is the (mostly) annual Mother's Day edition of the SSL blog post. I am not a mother, but I have a mother, and I love a lot of mothers, and I also love and deeply care about a lot of children who are currently learning from mothers. I have strong feelings about the seriousness of raising children - in all the ways people do that - being a biological or adoptive or step or grand or great grand mother are just a few of those, but really anyone who comes in contact with a child has a part in their raising. Even very small interactions with children can leave lasting affects, and the more thoughtful and responsible we can all be in those interactions the better off the next generation will be. Granted, life is life. One couldn't possibly don't know the "right" answers for how to raise a child, and people don't always have the right skills at the right time to make the best choices - and even if you do, mistakes happen. 

So first, if you are taking any part in raising a child out there, give yourself some slack because there are no perfect answers. If you are doing your best to be kind and thoughtful and consistently 'there,' though, you're doing better than most, so give yourself a hand. The work you do is incredibly necessary and important. 

Second, I'm going to some unsolicited advice to trusted and responsible guardians out there. 

Unsolicited Advice #1

For the love of all things good and right in the world, don't start telling your kids that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. 

First, trans and intersex children very much exist, and so it's important to let them know body parts aren't what decides if you are a boy or a girl. Second, say vulva not vagina. Vagina is the hole. It gets too much glory and it is wrongly assumed to be the most important part of female sexual pleasure. It surely is not. 

Orgasms do not arise from stimulating the inside of the vagina - seriously. Like for real. This whole blog and my whole movie is based on that very truth that our culture refuses to believe. The clit, the clitoral glans area specifically, is the orgasmically important part - it's as important to female orgasm as penises are to male orgasm. So, really one might just say that some people have penises and others have clits - ya know, because we need more Cliteracy. The more young people hear the word clit, the more they might remember it in their future sexual endeavors and the better for Orgasm Equality.

But, actually the better thing to say is that some people have penises and some people have vulvas - but then describe them. Alix Kates Schulman wrote a badass essay back in the 70's called "Organs and Orgasms" that sums up how to describe these parts to children. She describes the penis as having 3 different uses in 1 organ; peeing, pleasure and also making babies. She describes the vulva as containing 3 different parts for 3 different uses; the clit at the top for pleasure, the urethral opening below it for peeing, and the vagina below that for making and birthing babies. 

It's such a simple way to clearly indicate what differentiates genitals and what's accurately going on in the vulva area. Imagine how that early focus on the clitoris as pleasure might have changed your sex life. Imagine how you might have better been able to visualize your own genitals or your future partner's genitals. Honestly, I feel like I was a comparatively sexually aware young person, but I was in college before I realized that my pee didn't come through my clit. That sounds insane, but I don't think it's that uncommon. At least I knew where my clit was. I had more than 1 friend in college in the 2000's that wasn't sure where her clit was. That's detrimental shit, and just a little info in the early years could counteract it. It seems small compared to all the terrible sexual information we get in our culture, but I think it would make huge differences.  

Unsolicited Advice #2

Be fucking cool about masturbation. 

You do not need to tell a kid to masturbate or how to masturbate or show them people masturbating or tell them about how you masturbate. You just need to not poo-poo it, and let them know that it's something people (all people of all genders) do. Let them know you acknowledge and aren't disgusted by it. That's the least you can do. 

What would be even better though, is when the time comes to talk about sex (which most people agree is something that should happen at some time in some way) let them know that they, not someone else, should be the first person to explore their body in a sexual way. 

Unless you think masturbation will send your child to hell, there's no downside. Masturbation, unlike sexual contact with others, doesn't risk disease or pregnancy. They also know you think understanding their own body and sexuality is more important than another person doing it (which it most definitely is), and that gives them at least half a chance in future relationships - both in expecting and understanding how sexual contact can and should be pleasurable (this is real important for the kids with clits) and also in understanding the difference between love and lust so they don't confuse the excitingly new sensations of sexual touch with an emotional connection. Many a person has been locked into harmful relationships by incorrectly assuming that pleasurable sexual touch is the same as emotional/relational pleasure. Don't set a kid up for that horseshit. 

Unsolicited Advice #3

Make sure, when the time is right, you let these kids know that sex in porn and movies and TV and romance novels are often straight up fake in the weirdest way.

That weird way is that the women are very often depicted as orgasming simply from a penis moving in and out of the vagina - which in reality is not at all likely a way to make a women come because the stimulation of the clitoral glans area is needed for females to orgasm as much as penis stimulation is needed for males to orgasm. These weirdly unrealistic depictions are basically a woman orgasming without stimulation of the clit/vulva area and is no more likely than a male orgasming from stimulations that is close to but not on the penis. 

Also, the truth is that in real life over 70% of women say on surveys that they never orgasm during intercourse ever. That's most women, and the women that say they do sometimes or always come during intercourse, well, they tend to find ways to get additional clitoral stimulation during the intercourse (hands, vibrators, grinding, etc.). Although there are small numbers of women out there that say on surveys that they can come from nothing more than intercourse (with no additional clitoral stimulation) there is absolutely no physical proof in all of scientific literature that any women actually can (read more about that percentage stuff here). Seriously. 

So, probably assume intercourse alone is not a way to achieve orgasm unless you have a penis.  Feel free to further discuss with your young person why you think there is so much faking and ignorant female orgasm depictions out there (because moving a penis in and out of a vagina IS orgasmic for penises, maybe?). Just make sure there is mention of this unrealistic depiction phenomenon because without that, these depictions can really fuck with a person's mind and make them think things are a way they are not.  

**If they ask about the G-spot or the 'inner clit' causing orgasms during intercourse (maybe from any sexpert advice on the internet or from something they read in a women's magazine or sex advice book), assure them that's a bunch of bullshit that is unfortunately believed and spread by trained, well-meaning, and even progressive sexual educators. Then have them read this blog post to further explain.

Unsolicited Advice #4

Finally, make sure you talk to your penis-bearing kids about clits as much as you talk to your clit-bearing kids. 

It's all good and well if you raise someone that understands and can work their own clit to orgasm, but if someone with a penis comes along that doesn't know shit about clits (and it's likely they will come along if things don't change), at worst, I assure you're their sexual encounters will be crap (for the clit - not the penis, of course). At best,  it'll take a lot of time, effort, courage, and confidence of the clit-bearer's part and a willingness to listen and change, some patience, and empathy from the penis bearer before the sexual encounters become equally orgasmic. It shouldn't be so hard, and both partners in a sexual situation should be expected to have a basic knowledge about each other's genitals (i.e. banging a dick into a vagina is for penis orgasm and possibly reproduction, but not for female orgasm). 

but I digress

I'm sure there are plenty of other things that one should be discussing with children about their sexuality, sexual health,  and sexual relationships. There's lots of other places that discuss those things better than I would. I focus on ladygasms, so my unsolicited advice here really just focuses on helping the future generation have more ladygasms - on Orgasm Equality. And of course, you have time to relay these things. For now, on this upcoming Mother's Day, just enjoy the young people in your life and take a little pride in whatever part you play in their raising. 

Love to you all.

And for your viewing enjoyment a picture of me and my mother. I lost her a couple years ago, and I think of her often. She worked for a teen parenting non-profit when I was young and always got me pamphlets about sex and puberty that I showed my friends at slumber parties. I saw clearly where the clit was in one of those. She also took the opportunity when we were watching SHAG where some teen boys threw a condom balloon filled with water at a car to tell me about condoms. She also took an opportunity when I was watching the local news with her and my dad. A story came on about a teacher that showed a video about masturbation during sex ed and the parents were outraged. She asked if I knew what masturbation was. It was embarrassing, and I said yes sheepishly to end it. I did know, though. I quite liked masturbating, and I guess from then on I knew my mom knew what it was too and wasn't worried much about it. She was also in my movie about female orgasm...and made lunch for the cast one day. Much appreciated, mom.

 

Become Cliterate With Dr. Laurie Mintz! - An Orgasm Equality Hero

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A post about Dr. Laurie Mintz has been on my list for a few months now - ever since I saw her on Twitter. She has a new book out called Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How To Get It. Obviously, I'm gonna like this book. First, it actually says the words 'orgasm equality,' which is like my #1 favorite thing to say besides lady-gasm and lady-bation. Second, it talks about being Cliterate which clearly means this book is rightly focusing on the clit in relation to female orgasm, and it also gives an homage to artist Sophia Wallace's badass 2012 Cliteracy project, which we all know I also have mad respect for. I haven't actually read Dr. Mintz's book yet, but I've ordered it, and I will. I will also write about it when I'm done, but judging from her blog, I will be in love.

In fact, from blog content and book name alone, Dr. Laurie Mintz is getting directly added into an oh-so-coveted space in the Orgasm Equality Heroes List. She's doing the good work people..the good work.

So, just to give you a taste of the good work she is doing let me mention a few things.

Her latest blog post at the time I was writing this article was so damn on point. It said pretty much all the things I yearn to hear in an article about lady-gasms. That just plain doesn't happen very often. In even the most progressive articles I read, the details about how fundamental the clit is to female orgasm are too often wishy-washy and easily yield to the scientifically unfounded but culturally omnipresent idea that women can orgasm through inner vaginal stimulation as well as numerous other ways (like, 'the clit is sooo important, but any way a woman orgasms is super valid too!'..I mean whatever you do and like is valid, of course, but sex educators should be real about the fact that there has never been physical evidence in all of scientific literature of a physical orgasm achieved through stimulation inside the vagina), or there isn't usually a clear bold statement about how totally fucked up it is that female bodies are able to orgasm, but that they simply don't very often in partnered situations (particularly with male bodies).

Dr. Laurie Mintz's post does not do that. What it does is say the things we as a culture should be screaming at the top of our lungs.

• Females orgasm strikingly less than men in partnered sex situations (particularly cis hetero ones)
• Female bodies are absolutely able to orgasm as quickly, easily, and reliably as men during masturbation (which means when they have appropriate stimulation to do so)
• When males have intercourse, the stimulation is similar to how they masturbate, for females intercourse stimulation is not similar to how they masturbate, and clearly is a big reason for less female orgasms in so many sexual situations
• The best advice for how a female can orgasm with a partner is for them to get, during that experience, the same type of stimulation they get when they are masturbating on their own.

I mean those are the basics. If you just roll those around in your head for a minute and then really consider how the world describes, teaches, depicts, and experiences sex with females...it's just a little insane how much disconnect there is. It's a bit sad actually, but I believe that every time a person speaks/writes these things out loud (and honestly it doesn't happen that much), it makes someone or hopefully a lot of people have to face a reality that we as a culture are really blind to, and it makes a dent. Her blog and presumably her book are making a dent.

Later she wrote a post as a letter to young women about what maybe they might learn from the Aziz Ansari thing, and again, I was really excited and happy to see that she connected the general state of the sexual landscape for females with the more specific and complicated issues brought up by 'grey area' coercive sex....'cause I agree, at the heart of all this is that as a culture, we don't physically understand female orgasm and frankly don't care much about it. She, oh so rightly says,

The bottom line is that both these grey-zone coercive situations and completely consensual sexual encounters during which you don’t orgasm are both related to the same root cultural problem. The problem is a culture that prioritizes and privileges male pleasure and an erect penis as the center of sex and disregards female pleasure and the clitoris as secondary or irrelevant.

So, BRAVO to you Dr. Mintz! Keep fighting that good fight, and let's get some Orgasm Equality Revolution up in this bitch!

A Quick Cliteracy Video

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This is a super quick post because, well, life. As always, I have about 100 things in my list that I want to write about, but I'm not getting enough time in one sitting to do it at the moment.

So, that means today you get something fun, important and just darn good activism...Cliteracy.

Sophia Wallace is an artist who created something called The 100 Natural Laws of Cliteracy. I speak about it often because it's speaking the truth - that the clitoris is the organ of female sexual pleasure and that for some god awful reason it's virtually invisible in our culture. We need more people saying this, and so I like to give big ups to Sophia Wallace and this project when I can.

Here's a video of her talking about it. Enjoy.


CLITERACY: 100 Natural Laws, by Sophia Wallace from Charlie Grosso on Vimeo.

1977 Hustler Review Series #3: Bondage Article

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Why I'm SSL Reviewing a 1977 Hustler
So there is a fab lady named Jill Hamilton. She made it into the Orgasm Equality Allies List a good while ago for her various writings. She's awesome and she's goddamn funny. She writes the blog In Bed With Married Women, which you will not regret reading.

Now here's where Hustler comes in. She had a give away on her blog, and we readers had to comment and tell her what we wanted so she could pick randomly and ship shit out to us. I saw she had a vintage Hustler, and so I asked - nay begged - for it. I promised to SSL Review it cover to cover, and here I am doing just that.

An SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussion and/or depiction of female orgasm and/or female masturbation in media (usually I do this for movies or TV not magazines, though). I particularly pay attention to the realism and scientific accuracy of the depiction/discussion and how it fits within the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and female sexuality. However, this SSL review is a bit of a fudge on the rules, because it doesn't involve a specific discussion or depictions, but I think it is interesting and related, so I wanted to write about it. Plus, this should be quick.

Feel free to check out the previous SSL Reviews of the Advice Column and the Porn Movie Review sections.

Glory Bound by Chris Cassel (pg35-36)

The Gist
This is an article by a Hustler reporter who saw a sexual restraint catalog that made him hard and took it home where his girlfriend Cindy eventually found it. Low and behold, Cindy was all like 'let's try some of this shit.' So they did. They've been doing it for about a year. They love it, and this article is sort of a primer about what it's like and what to buy and all that.

He talks about how sexy it is and how Cindy feels it's sorta a way to act out fantasies about being dominated without actually getting hurt. In fact he says bondage is not dependent on pain like sadism or masochism. He also thoughtfully talks about some safety issues (ropes are bad for novices 'cause circulation constriction, ya need to be careful with neck stuff, some positions are not for long term, use good quality stuff - that kind of thing). He also mentions a few different types of things that can be used. That's where the SSL review comes in.

"The 'spanker's belt' has an extra-wide crotch strap to force the ass cheeks apart for paddling. Some companies offer options, such as vibrators or dildos, that snap into the crotch strap and are forced into either the cunt or asshole when the strap is tightened."

Why I'm SSL Reviewing This
Okay, so like I said before this SSL review is a little unorthodox because there's no specific discussion of lady-gasm or lady-bation. The above quote is the only thing that gets close in this article, though. I would have just skipped this piece of the magazine and gone to the next depiction/discussion, but an element of the above line caught my eye.

Basically it just struck me that the options for vibrator placement are up the v or up the butt - not against the clitoris/vulva. 1. Only 20-30%  of women claim to orgasm regularly during intercourse. 2. Stimulation inside the vagina (or butt) has never been shown in scientific literature to cause orgasm, but clitoral/vulva stimulation has been shown in scientific literature to cause lady-gasm numerous upon numerous times. So to me, if you're making a vibrating crotch attachment for a female wearer - I say skip the hole stuff and press that vibrator against the clit, ya'll. AmIright?

What That Line Says About Lady-gasms
Now, there's actually nothing wrong with what this article says about lady-gasm. It's actually saying nothing at all about it. No one is saying in this article that putting a vibrator up those holes is supposed to cause an orgasm. It might just be something fun that has nothing to do with the spank-ees orgasm. Maybe it's merely one type of the lady-giving pleasurable accouterments in the restraint accessory arsenal and just happens to be the one Mr. Chris Cassel decided to talk about. That's cool.

Truth is many a woman have very much enjoyed a vibrating dildo up the junk, but giving pleasure and giving an orgasm are not always the same thing. Insertions can, without a doubt, be pleasurable to women, but the large majority of women have never orgasmed from it.

Again, the line itself isn't a problem, but I feel like it is part of something larger that is a problem. When talking about women's sexual pleasure, insertion is just too often discussed exclusively, with no mention of the the clit - the female's actual organ of sexual pleasure - which is just wierd because few if any women ever actually come from ramming stuff up their holes. It's just strange that overall as a culture we focus so much on insertion to the exclusion of the clit.  I don't think it's nearly as common for penis and penis stimulation to be left out of articles about male pleasure to speak exclusively about non-penis pleasure like ball touching, anal penetration, or nipple stimulation.

So that's why I wanted to comment on this - because, well, it's part of the terribly wrong-headed all insertion no clit sexual culture.  In this article, while describing the fun of restraint, Chris talks a lot about Cindy's positioning through restraints and how it allows him to enter her vagina and bunghole (his word not mine). So the pleasure for him clearly involves his penis getting stimulated inside her holes - and we assume that pleasure includes his orgasm (and that's a sensible, scientifically backed assumption). His scenarios would also insinuate her holes getting stimulated by his dick are part of the pleasure for her - and we would probably assume that includes her orgasm as well (a not very likely, not scientifically backed assumption). So, he mentions insertion with his penis (orgasmic for both parties we assume) and then later with options from the belt above (orgasmic for her we assume), but he never ever mentions anything about how her clit gets love. His penis gets love and her vagina (and bunghole) get love, but does her clit?

Maybe we don't have the whole story, maybe he's all over that clit making ol' Cindy come hard. Maybe...but if the clit were part of this sexual stuff, why wasn't it mentioned or insinuated. I venture to guess Cindy's clit wasn't getting love. Clits all over the world get ignored in favor of the neighboring vagina, and I think that is both reflected in and perpetuated by how invisible it is when talking about sex. This Hustler article is just one of so, so, so many that blatantly ignore the clit. It might not seem wierd at first glance because we're so used to it. When sex is discussed it's the penis and the vagina not the penis and the clit (I'm talking even to you Last Week Tonight with John Oliver), but it is wierd. It shouldn't be the norm.

Point is, this article is fine, but it just reminded me about how very invisible and undervalued the clit was back then and continues to be.

P.S. Big ups to people like Sophia Wallace who are doing badass things to remind us that the invisibility of the clit in our sex talk and sex culture is wierd, and stupid, and needs to change. #Cliteracy

The Clitoris Festival!!!!!

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It seems a little town in Spain holds a festival for some green leafy vegetable called grelo - which happens to be a kinda old-timey slang for clitoris in Portuguese. I think you see where this is going. When they advertised their festival they had written it in Galician, which is, I believe, a Spanish dialect and "one of the official languages of the northern Spanish region." But, as you might expect, Google Translate got confused a bit with the dialect, translating from Spanish to English. It's Google Translate after all. One thing led to another, some surmise that the Portuguese meaning got picked out, and wam bam, it became the Clitoris Festival. Here's the article I got my info from.

I actually can't find anything about when this festival actually takes place because all the articles seem to be just re-writes of one original article. None of the ones I found link to the original post, and I'm too lazy to investigate it really at all. Anyway, most of the hub-ub about it was in early November of 2015, so I'm assuming it was around then. It's no big deal, I guess, but I just wanted to tell you all when it was in case you wanted to check off that life-long dream of going to a clitoris festival.

Honestly, a clit festival would be pretty cool. Sophia Wallace's Clit Rodeo would be there (and obviously, The 100 Natural Laws of Cliteracy would be hanging up everywhere. Maybe even a contest for Laws of Cliteracy knowledge - kinda like a weird spelling bee or something.)

Clit Rodeo by artists Sophia Wallace and Kenneth Thomas - Photo found at Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/cliteracy_n_3823983.html

We could do a film festival. I'd have to program my movie Science, Sex and the Ladies, because if you had a drinking game for it where you drank on the word clit - you'd be fucked up. There could also be a heavily juried collection of top-notch porn clips - ones that ONLY involved pleasuring the clit TO ORGASM. None of that tickle the clit for a sec and then jam it in bullshit. In fact, if we could just get a series of ladies getting ate the hell out while eating ice cream and watching movies, that would be fantastic. Or while eating giant vats of popcorn at an actual movie theater. Whatever - as long as she is doing something she likes and not paying much attention to the person pleasuring her to orgasm. I just think we need more of that kind of thing - you know to balance things out.


Science, Sex and The Ladies from AnC Movies on Vimeo.

We could also have people making some of those vulva cupcakes - like a vulva cupcake eating contest, a vulva cupcake decorating booth, a vulva cupcake contest where they are judged on both looks and taste.

It might be fun to have a 5K with people dressed in vulva costumes where their face is the clit.

Also, a amateur photo contest where people take pictures of things out in the world that look like clits, vulva and clit combos, or even like the full inner/outer clit situation. It’s up to the artist’s interpretation. Anyway, this whole clit festival was all just a misunderstanding, but maybe, just maybe, a clit festival is the right thing to do.

On-Point Discussion About Better Sex Ed In the Muslim American Community

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Searching through Twitter as I do, I found an article by Sarah Harvard called A Young Muslim Woman Details How Her Parents Avoided The Sex Talk: And Why That Needs To Change In Her Culture. It's a thoughtful read in Teen Vogue, and it's pretty funny too. Seriously - check it out and check out some of Sarah's other writing too.

She talks about her own familial and cultural experiences of silence (and when inevitably forced into their lives -awkwardness and shame) in regards to sex and puberty. But, she also talks about how the Qu'ran does not reflect this same silence and reminds the reader that young Muslim Americans' experiences in the future don't have to be like hers. The article ends with this:

Islam, like many other religions, is frank about sex. It’s a part of our livelihood as human beings, and while many of the older generations are culturally keen to sexual repression, it’s up to the next generation — our generation — of Muslim Americans to encourage a healthy, positive, and religiously compliant attitude towards sex. How can we do that? Easy — let's just talk about sex.

I love that she took time to write about this subject. She largely writes about politics, Islam, and world events (I've been creeping through all her stuff). She's creating important work about large issues with a fresh young voice, and I think it's poignant that this lack in her sexual education seemed important enough for her to discuss. This is the kind of honest and hopeful article that I love to feature in this blog, particularly because the author pointed out some specifics about her lack of education that I think is incredibly important .

As Wajahat Ali pointed out in The Guardian, Muslim Americans are forced to go 0 to 100 real quick when it comes to sexual activity. We’re forced to cover our eyes when there’s a kissing scene on television — despite the fact it’s an everyday occurrence in middle and high school. We're then expected to get married in our early 20s and 30s, and bear two to four children soon after without even knowing what foreplay is or how to find our clitorises. (For example, I didn't know what a clitoris was until freshman year of college.)

The clitoris is the organ of female sexual pleasure. Stimulation of the clitoral/vulva area is necessary for orgasm, and intercourse is a terribly inefficient way to get there. The author mentioning that she didn't know what a clitoris was until college is both unfortunate, and at the same time, an extremely common experience.  It's a poignant example of how much silence and ignorance about the clit and thus the female orgasm exists. It's not unique to immigrant Muslim American families. It's a larger cultural phenomenon, but I can only imagine that there is a strength, a depth, and a quality to the silence in that community that is quite unique. In fact, I imagine all different communities have unique hurdles and hang-ups when it comes to fighting the silence and ignorance on the topic. Happily married hetero people probably need to hear different things than single lesbians, and different religions and races and age groups and people from different parts of the world and of the country would probably find a more inspiring discussion of the subject, at least at first, with people speaking on it honestly within their own community. So, I love that Sarah Harvard spoke on it and has put the call out to her community to speak about it. It is a simple but an efficient way to begin change for the better

People like Sarah Harvard are exactly the types that will inspire Orgasm Equality change in a wider population. She's not a sexologist, internet sexpert, sexual health worker, or sex-positive advocate. She's just a woman talking honestly about her experiences and hopes. She didn't have to speak up, but she did anyway, and that's why I'm adding her to the Orgasm Equality Allies List. Keep bein' awesome Sarah Harvard.


***P.S. Sarah's last quote up there reminds me of Sophia Wallace's Cliteracy Law #30 "Terrorism is having sex your whole adult life, giving birth to 6 children and never experiencing an orgasm." Because, I mean that's a possible outcome of the situation she described up there, isn't it?...and that isn't any fun for a woman or the man she's making children with. I'm with Sarah - I think we can do better.

The Modern Sexual Revolution's Coming

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Let’s start the next big sexual revolution, shall we? Actually, it’s started. It’s a little fragmented still and young, but it’s there. Let’s be honest, sex, sexuality, and feminism are complicated – especially when all rolled together, so there are many intersecting prongs to this revolution that must unite.

Let me first tell you which prong I’m coming from. I’m part of a movie-making team that created a documentary about how very deeply the female orgasm is misunderstood. It’s called Science, Sex and the Ladies, and it came out less than a year ago. However, I’ve been researching for this movie since 2002, and I have been keeping a blog on the subject since 2009.

Science, Sex and The Ladies from AnC Movies on Vimeo.

Orgasm Equality

Here’s the deal. An orgasm caused by stimulation on the inside of the vagina has never been observed or recorded in scientific literature – not one caused by stimulating a g-spot, c-spot, the cervix, the vaginal wall itself, or by stimulating the inner clitoral legs through the vaginal wall (a currently popular way to talk about “vaginal orgasm”).

It’s not as if there just isn’t much research out there, either. There’s a pretty good amount of research focused on “vaginal orgasms,” but in all the 50 years that modern physical research into orgasms has been happening, no researcher has recorded one. There are, however, plenty of recorded and observed male orgasms through penile stimulation and female orgasms through outer clitoral glans area stimulation.

 Let me lay this out. Everyone – male, female, intersex, gay, straight, asexual, trans, cis, you name it – we all are born with an area on our genitals that is something like a penis or a clitoral glans. That thing can be stimulated to orgasm. Period. We can all orgasm, and statistically women do masturbate to orgasm, as quickly easily and reliably as men can. Women’s bodies are not less capable of orgasm, yet as a whole, we orgasm so very much less than our male partners, and our sexuality and sex drive is regularly labeled as less than. It’s not men’s fault. It’s not women’s fault. It’s bigger than that. It is bullshit, though, and it needs to change. I call this prong of the revolution, The Orgasm Equality Movement.

Cliteracy

“FREEDOM IN SOCIETY CAN BE MEASURED BY THE DISTRIBUTION OF ORGASMS” –Cliteracy Law  #31

We’re not the only ones working from this prong, though. Sophia Wallace calls it Cliteracy, and she created 101 Laws of it.

“A MAN WOULD NEVER BE EXPECTED TO GET OFF THROUGH SEX ACTS THAT IGNORED HIS PRIMARY SEXUAL ORGAN” -Cliteracy Law  #44 

“4 MINUTE: THE AVERAGE TIME IT TAKES WOMEN TO ORGASM THROUGH MASTURBATION” -Cliteracy Law  #45 

“THE VAGINAL ORGASM IS A MYTH INVENTED BY FREUD IN 1905”  - Cliteracy Law  #14

I hadn’t seen any other modern person out there speaking so boldly and directly on the cultural disappearance of the clit and its necessity to orgasm. I was immediately a fan. I love her work. It’s great activism, and it’s coming at the same problem we’re working on but from a slightly different angle.

But still, it’s not just us. There were bad-ass women in the 70’s saying this, Shere Hite, Anne Koedt, Betty Dodson and Alix Kates Shulman to name a few. Sadly, their work has been a bit marginalized in pop culture over the years. There are also others out there working this activism – ones I don’t know about and ones who aren’t necessarily focused on this prong, but do incorporate these ideas. I have a big ol’ list of them HERE.

So Many More Prongs

I would argue that this misunderstanding of how the female orgasm works is a fundamental problem that touches almost everything. However,  it in no way holds all the answers or addresses all the problems. There are many important prongs in this revolution. Rape culture and other’s feelings of entitlement over female and queer bodies? Over-sexualization of girls? Sex worker rights? Healing after sexual trauma? Too damn much low libido among women? Shitty sex education? Sexual public health? Hurtful ideas about what ‘sexy’ should mean for different populations? Double standards and slut shaming? Female Genital Mutilation? Craptastic depictions of sex, sexuality, and gender in media?

People are in the trenches working on these too. SPARK  – a bad-ass intergenerational Movement, Bish – Sex Ed website for teens, DodsonAndRoss – Sex Ed for everyone, Clitoraid – for FGM advocacy, UnSlut Project,  Slutwalk, Sex Workers Project, The Feminist Guide to Porn. These are just a tiny sampling. There’s TONS more. If you know more, then by all means,  promote, support, and unite with them.

A Modern Sexual Revolution

Let me put out a word of caution though. We need to stop fighting our mother’s and our grandmother’s battles when it comes to sex. The kick-ass well-intentions, smart feminists of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s made as much headway as they could on sexual issues, but they also created some traditions that are frankly a little poisonous. Think porn wars; anti-porn vs. pro-sex.  But it’s not just porn stuff. It seems like every time an issue comes up that involves sex and feminism, there are 2 sides that post up against each other with snide-ness and indignation ringing from all over.

Personally, the feminism I see tends to be much more nuanced and level-headed than that, so maybe it just seems this way because…media. Or, maybe the extremists take control of issues, and everyone else just shuts up because it gets too annoying to talk about. I don’t know what the problem is, but it can’t go on if we want anything to really change. Negative “anti  vs. pro” rhetoric on sex issues is a feminist tradition that has been handed down to us, but screw that. The issues are different than they were 40 years ago, and we are different. Let’s make our own traditions and define our own issues, and let’s base them on compromise and collaboration.

So, let us build upon and learn from the women who fought before us. Let us shun no-one. Let us disenfranchise no perspective. Let us not shy from thoughtful debate, but let us work together as feminist scholars, sex workers, grandmothers, teens, scientists, spiritualists, religious folk, kink communities, and traditionalist of every color and sexuality - males, females and intersex.

At the core, we do have common hopes, and we don’t have time to quibble about every detail. So let us work to see eye to eye. Let us swallow pride more, engage more, shut up more, listen more, give benefits of the doubt more, seek allies more, align more, collaborate more, bend more, gently critique more, use kind language more, conversate more, disagree without breaking more, and find points of agreement more – because people are ready for change and we have much work to do.

How are you going to contribute to the revolution? #SexRevUnite

Women's Equality Day!

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Twitter is telling me that it is Women's Equality Day, and I believe Twitter. So I'll throw my 2 cents into the mix. I'll do it quick too because I just got back from vacation, and I haven't been thinking about this blog for a good week and a half. I'm not quite in the swing of things yet, ya know.

So, to quote Sophia Wallace from her Cliteracy: Natural Law #57, "Democracy without Cliteracy? Phallasy"

Point being that Orgasm Equality, Cliteracy, and any other activism out there that is working towards creating a more balanced, realistic understanding of sexuality and orgasm through the acknowledgement that our sexual culture is skewed heavily male-hetero-centric...well, that's some activism that needs to happen if women are to become fully equal members of our society. It is incredibly important and way too invisible, and it affects us all male, female, intersex, gay straight, and trans, but I can feel in the air that this is an issue moving slowly but surely into the light.

Work forward and work hard, my activist brothers and sisters!

Is Clitoris A Pokemon?: Recap of a Strange Discussion about Sophia Wallace's Work, Cliteracy 101

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It all began 3 minutes after midnight on September 3rd 2013, when HorseCawk created the thread to discuss the "gay chit" that people were posting on FB.

A little background. I googled "Cliteracy 101" a couple days ago and happen to come across a thread on the bodybuilding.com forum about just that...Cliteracy 101. I couldn't help reading the entire thread, and I just really thought you needed to know about it too. These particular body-building folk are what some call miscers. They are people on bodybuilding sites that only post on the miscellaneous non-body-building sections of the site, and they really just post to make the other people laugh or react, so it's usually dumb as shit. It might have enraged me, cause there was a lot of pretty backwards comments, but honestly, who cares. I do think it reflects the underlying current in our culture that keeps us resistant to accepting a realistic understanding of female sexual release, but that's a subject that goes far beyond the shit these dudes were saying. Plus, I was in their space. They didn't take their shitty comments to the source. They kept in their home - their very public home, but home none-the-less.

So, sit back and relax because I'm going to give you a run-down of this awesomely awesome 3 page thread. It was Sophia Wallace's Cliteracy 101 posters that HorseCawk had wanted to discuss. I, obviously, think Cliteracy 101 is on point as "phuck" (HorseCawk prefers phuck to fuck), but HorseCawk felt it was

gay as phuck and says things like "the clitoris is larger than a flaccid penis" women who are into this $hit are just so dense. finding a "cause" and getting behind it!! POwEr in our sexuality! "Penetration Is Not the Only Sex!!" "you shouldn't have to ask a man to rub your clitoris during intercourse!"

He didn't see why anyone would share such things with him.

HorseCawk

DK91 quickly gave HorseCawk props for a strong username (I agree) and a strong post.

I'd like to point out that late in the thread, Nessa1 (1 of 3 women in this thread) came back at HorseCawk with: "You do realize that all of that is correct, right Opie?" to which HorseCawk replied, "its not you stuppid chit. u are misinformed" Bravo Nessa1 - 5 vuvla rating to you (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)

Quickly, everyone then got a bit riled up by the idea that a clit could be larger than a flaccid penis, retorting with things like richard noggin's "brb pulling on my cawk with pliers" and H34T's "4 inch flaccid checkin in. never seen a 4 inch clit before. also this is why I never would degrade myself by licking a snatch."

However, PoliciaLoco (inquisitive mofo) pipes in with the absolutely correct statement: "Most of a clit isn't visible as it extends into the body..." And then Musik85 quotes some internet lit supporting the whole big clit thing and includes links to more info.

HorseCawk comes back though and tells PoliciaLoco

this is debatable. the feminist hipsters promoting this "the clitoris so is vast" view are preaching that the labia minora as well as other pussy tissue is "the clitoris"

That big ol' HorseCawk actually has a point here. There are definitely people out there saying that all the "pussy tissue" should be considered "the clit" because it is all important in sexual pleasure. I, as you can imagine, take the side that organs should be called their correct name, because if they are not, it is both confusing and inaccurate, but that's another story. He is off base in this particular discussion though. I mean the clit really does extend inside the body, and it really is at least as big as a flaccid penis, so not actually debatable, HorseCawk.

HorseCawk's comments to Musik85 are a touch less poignant (and probably false on all accounts, although I don't know the status of Musik85's sexuality), saying:

nice scientific source dumbchit
 your statements are firstly false.
 secondly debatable in scientific literature
 and thirdly you are a homosexual.

On a side note Musik85 comes back at him with: "How many clits have you seen exactly? minus your mums on the way out..." To which HorseCawk jovially replies: "lmao" Sadly, Musik85 loses his earlier steely feminist/real-life leanings and finished up the exchange with "Who gives a fuk anyway? gona get mine then get out... don't care if some stupid sloot cums or not." PoliciaLoco loses his way also and concludes his postings on the 2nd page with: "The artist, Sophie Wallace shows her teddies on her tumbler. Just FYI."

There are also randomly distributed comments relating to one of my favorites of the laws - Cliteracy Natural Law # 14 which says "The vaginal orgasm is a myth invented by Freud in 1905" with richard noggin changing the topic as follows:

I would pay lots of money to see a 4 inch clit lmfao 

but.. girls do orgasm from their vaginas dont they? my girl does? am I a brodcaster status now?

richard noggin's avatar. 

and Stannis saying:

Girls can't orgasm from penetration? Not sure if srs..? I don't think she was faking. (hmm)

and ItsNerfOrNothin with:

Vaginal orgasms a myth? GF is in so much fuken trouble SRS
Gonna fight about this tomorrow wish me luck

Then lui9806 with the following comment and anime-rage gif:

So where just gonna let that "vaginal orgasm is a myth" go unchecked?

 And bossavery with:

are u kidding me? women saying vaginal orgasms aren't real? pretty sure ive got girls off multiple times by fingering/massing that G spot and the girls werent frauding. 

fuk this ghey world

BushrodButtram gets a bit more investigativey on the subject and writes:

All this "women can't climax from intercourse" stuff is greatly exaggerated and is supposed to delegitimize normal sex. Some proponents basically think that all straight sex is basically unpleasant for women and that men like it that way:

BushrodButtram then links a kinda stream-of-consciousness post from a self-described radical feminist in which she talks about the dichotomy that exists for women about wanting too much or too little Penis-in-Vagina sex and the sense that P-i-V sex is THE only type of sex. (Her whole post is  HERE. Granted, it is a too obsessive with terror-of-pregnancy and also too blamey for my taste, and it's written a bit aggressively, but if you shake off all the dirt, it honestly has some thoughtful points....could be good for a future post). Anyway, BushrodButtram is kinda pissed about it and finishes his comment with:

Therefore, from their point of view, of course women should insist on "cliteracy" since women's collective sexual self-interest is best served if men don't want to have intercourse, seeing it as an inferior and ineffective form of sex.

I mean, let's be honest, as lady-gasms go, intercourse is an inferior and ineffective form of sex, but that's neither here nor there. Bushrod clearly has his Buttram in a bunch because the whole issue gives him too much feels. He feels the whole Cliteracy 101 thing comes from some crazy motherfuckers thinking intercourse sucks for women and that men want it to suck for women (and I'm sure Mr. Buttram doesn't actually want sex to suck for Mrs. Buttram - seriously. I really think he doesn't and it is offensive to him to think women would think he does). I hear ya Buttram, I do, but sometimes things must be said that are hard to hear, and we all need to listen - no matter whose fault it is.

Synth1230 chimes in with:

i like how all the slogans are presupposed to make it the man's fault. If you get off on clit stimulation then rub your fuking clit you pleb. Not to mention that going down on these chicks is impossible cos of the 10 coks theyve taken earlier in the day.  

The Quality of Women is going down yet their standards become higher and higher. If youre a good women ill gladly eat you till the cows come home and rub your clit during penetration but you better give me a blowjob when i tell you to.  

 vaginal orgasms are infact real or rather orgasms for simple penetration are.

Simplistic as it may be, Synth1230 has a point about rubbing one's fucking clit - I mean just do it, right? But I suspect he may not quite understand how strangely not easy that is to do in real life...I mean sometime our culture can get aggressively anti-clit...ya know? He is likely wrong about how many cocks the average women who asks him to go down on her has had in the 24 hours prior to asking, but I'm not him, so I won't pretend to know his circumstances. If this is true, then yes, I think a shower would be appropriate before any eating out, but it's not technically impossible. Let's be honest here. No one wants the disease of 10 other men's ejaculate on their tongue or the taste of 10 latex condoms. Plus, she's probably dehydrated at this point and would do well to just go home, take some time off and drink some water....although on the other hand, after taking 10 coks in 1 day - and likely not orgasming (cause Cliteracy Law # 14 is actually pretty accurate), doesn't she deserve a good eating out so she can finally get the fuck off? As for orgasms from simple penetration being real, as you know, I stand by the statement that there is no evidence of that being true.

EDcellent let everyone know about his experience too:

*Finger banged a girl and she squirted crew* checking in. Not a single part of her clit was touched that night. 

Or any other night.

Thanks EDcellent, and true story. Fingerbanging is actually a pretty good way to get a girl to squirt. It's called an ejaculation, and if the clit wasn't touched, definitely doesn't include an orgasm...but maybe EDcellent's girl isn't into orgasms anyway. To each her own.

LikeAMachine didn't like the idea of saying the vaginal orgasm was a myth either:

A myth? lol ok, right 

fukking hipsters rustling jimmies

Two ladies got into the discussion too. Staberella just wanted to get practical:

LOL this is silly. Instead of making a big fukking deal over their man sucking in bed to the world, they should let their partners know what they like in bed. No need to make it public.

It seems she is gently acknowledging that dudes who bang with no clit game suck in bed (even the toughest of body-building chicks like that mouth on that lady junk, am I right?) , but fair enough, Staberella - keep that shit to yourself.  4 vulva rating to Staberella for her subtle insinuation (!)(!)(!)(!).

CallMeOniichan was quick to get to the real issue, though, when he replied back to her, "I don't think the artist is into guys." Classic move CallMeOniichan.

and conceptions, well she didn't really care much about all this, but she was a bit better informed than most of the dudes so far about the vaginal orgasm is a myth thing. She says:

I think that claim comes from the belief that the nerves etc of the clitoris extend into the vaginal walls/g-spot, so they're all clitoral orgasms. No. 4 on the list in one of the pics seems right. I don't get what all the fuss is about.

The Cliteracy Law #4 conceptions speaks of is, "The clitoris is not a button. It is an iceberg" So she's got sense about her in that she's acknowledging that there is an inner, larger part of the clitoris. She's also right that there is a going trend that believes orgasms from penetration are due to the inner legs of the clitoris being stimulated to orgasm during penetration - so that even "vaginal" orgasms are clitoral. However, there is no scientific evidence of orgasm ever actually happening from stimulation inside the vagina, so there isn't really a "vaginal" orgasm to speak of at all, and thus speaking about what causes it is not useful since it doesn't really exist (at least in scientific literature). She gets 4 vulvas (!)(!)(!)(!) on her comment though, cause it's kinda thoughtful at least, and she tried to calm the fire. *No one cared though, I guess, because there were absolutely no comments to what she said.

A few other brave comments worth mentioning...theRealGriNC was just honest:

Does anyone else mess around with the clit or is it just me? I didn't think it was such a big deal.

It is a big deal - because it's not done enough. Thank you, theRealGriNC. Also, solidus2k3 kept his comment simple, but effective with: "Pussy eating crew" Different "crews" are always checking in. For instance, InfraRed407  said "can navigate the clit crew checking in" Yes sir, please do check in.

 Hmmmm. I'll give a final word to richard noggin who added this toward the very end of the 3 page thread:

alright boys lets all just admit it the clitoris is a myth, a made up fairy tale that was conjured up by feminists to scare little boys before bed. Has anyone seen this so called "clit"? no. no one has ever seen one because it doesnt exist. that dangly thing down there is just the bull**** that feminists are full of trying to escape.

Wait no. I want to give the last word to snowyowl, who actually made a top notch 5 vulva rating post  (!) (!) (!) (!) (!).  Bravo to him...and he never said anything super ass-holeish....and he had the hottest pic.

snowyowl's avatar 

 I'd rub my clit all over those abs. Here's his post. It was simply the juxtaposition of the 2 memes below.

Our Indy Premiere, A Good Review, SSL Streaming, and Masculinity/Femininity Movie

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Three things today.

1. The Indianapolis Premiere of Science, Sex and the Ladies was about as awesome as I could have hoped for. Although Indy is our hometown, and it's good to be on home turf as far as turnout goes, we already had the cast and crew screening way back in February, and people had been having small private shows (our small screenings) around town for months. So, most of our core audience had seen the movie, and frankly you never know if you can bring people out to a movie more than once. However, we had a kick-ass turnout. Over 200 people. We packed the house, and I honestly didn't know over half the people there - at all, which was super duper awesome. We got great feedback too, and even scheduled some more small screening from people there who wanted to show friends and family - gotta love that.

Only 1 couple left during the movie out of, well, being appalled - at least as far as we can tell. I saw them leave, and then I heard later from someone sitting next to them that the guy started kinda freaking out a little when the vulvas came on screen, and then both the guy and gal started looking really uncomfortable, and then they left not too far into it. I say those are good leaving-in-an-appalled-huff numbers for an event that had 6 foot vulvas on the screen. The only other bad thing that happened was I drank the wrong beer from Scarlet Lane all night.

2. SSL is streaming for free until the end of the date November, 14th 2014! You can get to it through a really great review of SSL that was done on the blog Science, Sex & Nature. The woman (also the author of that Slippery When Wet book I mentioned in the last post), who wrote it asked if she could give her readers access to it for a short time, and it coincided with the Indy Premiere, so we said sure. We thought that along with reaching her readers, it'd be a nice thing to do as a thank you for all the support we got from the people here in Indy...and you non-Indy readers get the benefit too. So, check out the review and get a look at Science, Sex and the Ladies HERE.

3. I saw a movie called Masculinity/Femininity at the 2014 Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival today, and I thought it was worth a quick shout out. It's an experimental documentary, and it's investigating (you might have guessed) masculinity and femininity - thus the name of the film. The styling of this movie is not everybody's cup of tea, but it's the kind of thing I like to see at a film festival - something unique that takes liberties a lot of other movies don't or won't. I mean, I think the best thing about a film fest is the chance to see what's happening in parts of the film community that I can't access in the regular ol' theaters or on Netflix. So, I'm glad I saw this, and I think there were some interesting contemplations on gender. If you are into avante garde movies or into thinking more deeply about masculinity and femininity, check this movie out. Here's their Facebook page so you can keep up with where it shows next.

SSL Bonus? One of the people interviewed was Sophia Wallace, the artist who created Cliteracy, and you know I think the Cliteracy campaign is for real on point. Also, one woman (and forgive me for not remembering - I didn't have my notebook with me to take notes) speaks about how she was taught as a teen that not having sex with boys was absolutely imperative to making it in the world - and that sex=babies=fucked up your life. It matches the cultural predicament discussed in the book Dilemmas of Desire by Deborah Tolman (a fantastic book we discuss in Science, Sex and the Ladies - I highly recommend it), about girls having more struggles with their desire because they often feel that since they (and not boys) have to be the ones to stop sexual encounters before they get to the baby-making stages, then they have to suppress their desire in various ways so they don't let themselves get out of control and ruin their lives before they begin. Point is there are definitely some intersections between this movie and SSL.

101 Laws of Cliteracy Revisited

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Cliteracy! Clit literacy, ya'll!

 I've been thinking lately about artist, Sophia Wallace's Cliteracy Campaign. It's truly on point. I wrote more about it in a blog post when I first heard about it HERE. A big part of it are these posters that have 101 Laws of Cliteracy. She is trying to point out how ignorant our culture is about the main organ of female sexual pleasure - the clitoris, and how much we completely ignore and deny that ignorance. Many of these 101 Laws are exactly the bold, orgasm equality things that need to be said. She is honestly one of the only other people out there saying these things in such a blunt straight-forward manner.

Cheers to Sophia Wallace and The 101 Laws of Cliteracy! Below are some of the posters, but you can check out more of my faves on my first post about this.