Memes About Lady-Gasms...

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I've been busy with my actual paying job, so I'm just posting a bunch of lady-gasm memes. Why? I mean, why not? I have like a hundred post I wanna write right now, but no time, my friends. Here are your memes in 3 catagories.

1  Memes about people not believing in the female orgasm. I'd like to point out that there is no genre of joke out there about people not believing in the male orgasm. Why? Because we as a cultural have a realistic understanding of how to make men orgasm and a strong sense that men deserve and want them. None of those things are true for women, so saying that female orgasm doesn't exist can actually be kinda funny because there is some feeling of truth to that idea. People our grandparents age could have heard a legit medical professional argue such an idea. I mean, we're not even 3 generations off from a time when women's bodies were so misunderstood that we thought a woman's uterus would fall out if she ran too much. We joke because we don't really know what to think of lady-gasms and we're still confused in very real ways.  But all the confusion is manufactured. It's not because women physically can't orgasm as quickly easily, or reliably as men - we can. Female bodies don't have some lesser or more complicated capacity for orgasm - that's some made up shit that stems from women's lesser ability to orgasm during 1 particular sex act - the one used for reproduction that also happens to be highly orgasmic for men.

2 Memes about Female Orgasms being complicated. So this is just sorta another aspect of the above issue where perceptions about women's biological ability to orgasm is somehow deeply and invisibly linked to a woman's ability to orgasm from intercourse. Ladies' vaginal canals aren't their orgasm makers, so rubbing a penis in them is terrible for making orgasms, but women have a clitoral glans on the outside of their lady junk that is their orgasm maker, and it works as good as a penis. Yet, somehow that gets lost in our education, sex advice, media, and well, even  our jokes....and it seems like women's orgasms are complicated not because they are actually complicated, but because for some godawful reason we try to make women orgasm in ways that doesn't actually make women orgasm and then blame it on the intrinsic female ability to orgasm instead of the technique.

3 A meme about the clit causing orgasm. I just found this one on my initial google search, but it's wierd, and I think that's Marnie from Girls for some reason, but it's also on point, so I thought I'd post it. Anyway. Clits. Cliteracy. rub a clit get a lady-gasm. Clit. Clit. Clitoris. Clit. I'm done. We just don't see the word as much as we see 'vagina', and I like my clit way better than my vagina, so I'm just giving it some well-deserved props.

Songs To Eat Girls Out To

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There is prolific publisher of playlists on 8Tracks by the name of yeswecancan. Charlie found some of her playlists a couple years back and became a fan, which I guess just means you tend to like whatever list that person creates. I got into her stuff too, although I don't listen to 8Tracks all that much because it always just stops streaming at some point while I'm trying to listen to it on my phone at work and annoys the shit out of me. Pandora does the same thing.

Anyway, all that to say she has a playlist called "Songs To Eat Girls Out To" and I felt like I should mention it in this blog. I just straight up appreciate the shout out to cunnilingus. But also, I feel like that title has something special to it.

It feels a bit like yesswecancan is telling the world that you should be doing some eating out, and that it's awesome enough of a thing to do that it deserves its own playlist. Plus I like that its musical inspiration is directed toward the person doing the eating out as opposed to the person being eaten out. We all know that getting eaten out is awesome, but this playlist, in my opinion, raises the status of doing the eating out - something that doesn't always get the celebrity it deserves.

So, there you go. Below are the 11 songs under yeswecancan's "Songs To Eat Girls Out To" playlist. It might be just the song list you need. (And you might want to project the D'Angelo video instead of just playing the song. That's one of the all-time hottest videos made by a dude).



P.D.A (We Just Don't Care)
John Legend



Bump N' Grind
R. Kelly



Untitled (How does It Feel)
D'Angelo




Until Then (I Imagine)
Jill Scott



Closer
Corinne Bailey Rae



Oops Oh My
Tweet



Be With You
Beyonce




Strawberry Bubblegum
Justin Timberlake




Let's Get Lifted
John Legend



Prince - I Wanna Be Your Lover (Official Video) by Prince-Official
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Prince




I Wanna Sex You Up
Color Me Badd

Is Clitoris A Pokemon?: Recap of a Strange Discussion about Sophia Wallace's Work, Cliteracy 101

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It all began 3 minutes after midnight on September 3rd 2013, when HorseCawk created the thread to discuss the "gay chit" that people were posting on FB.

A little background. I googled "Cliteracy 101" a couple days ago and happen to come across a thread on the bodybuilding.com forum about just that...Cliteracy 101. I couldn't help reading the entire thread, and I just really thought you needed to know about it too. These particular body-building folk are what some call miscers. They are people on bodybuilding sites that only post on the miscellaneous non-body-building sections of the site, and they really just post to make the other people laugh or react, so it's usually dumb as shit. It might have enraged me, cause there was a lot of pretty backwards comments, but honestly, who cares. I do think it reflects the underlying current in our culture that keeps us resistant to accepting a realistic understanding of female sexual release, but that's a subject that goes far beyond the shit these dudes were saying. Plus, I was in their space. They didn't take their shitty comments to the source. They kept in their home - their very public home, but home none-the-less.

So, sit back and relax because I'm going to give you a run-down of this awesomely awesome 3 page thread. It was Sophia Wallace's Cliteracy 101 posters that HorseCawk had wanted to discuss. I, obviously, think Cliteracy 101 is on point as "phuck" (HorseCawk prefers phuck to fuck), but HorseCawk felt it was

gay as phuck and says things like "the clitoris is larger than a flaccid penis" women who are into this $hit are just so dense. finding a "cause" and getting behind it!! POwEr in our sexuality! "Penetration Is Not the Only Sex!!" "you shouldn't have to ask a man to rub your clitoris during intercourse!"

He didn't see why anyone would share such things with him.

HorseCawk

DK91 quickly gave HorseCawk props for a strong username (I agree) and a strong post.

I'd like to point out that late in the thread, Nessa1 (1 of 3 women in this thread) came back at HorseCawk with: "You do realize that all of that is correct, right Opie?" to which HorseCawk replied, "its not you stuppid chit. u are misinformed" Bravo Nessa1 - 5 vuvla rating to you (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)

Quickly, everyone then got a bit riled up by the idea that a clit could be larger than a flaccid penis, retorting with things like richard noggin's "brb pulling on my cawk with pliers" and H34T's "4 inch flaccid checkin in. never seen a 4 inch clit before. also this is why I never would degrade myself by licking a snatch."

However, PoliciaLoco (inquisitive mofo) pipes in with the absolutely correct statement: "Most of a clit isn't visible as it extends into the body..." And then Musik85 quotes some internet lit supporting the whole big clit thing and includes links to more info.

HorseCawk comes back though and tells PoliciaLoco

this is debatable. the feminist hipsters promoting this "the clitoris so is vast" view are preaching that the labia minora as well as other pussy tissue is "the clitoris"

That big ol' HorseCawk actually has a point here. There are definitely people out there saying that all the "pussy tissue" should be considered "the clit" because it is all important in sexual pleasure. I, as you can imagine, take the side that organs should be called their correct name, because if they are not, it is both confusing and inaccurate, but that's another story. He is off base in this particular discussion though. I mean the clit really does extend inside the body, and it really is at least as big as a flaccid penis, so not actually debatable, HorseCawk.

HorseCawk's comments to Musik85 are a touch less poignant (and probably false on all accounts, although I don't know the status of Musik85's sexuality), saying:

nice scientific source dumbchit
 your statements are firstly false.
 secondly debatable in scientific literature
 and thirdly you are a homosexual.

On a side note Musik85 comes back at him with: "How many clits have you seen exactly? minus your mums on the way out..." To which HorseCawk jovially replies: "lmao" Sadly, Musik85 loses his earlier steely feminist/real-life leanings and finished up the exchange with "Who gives a fuk anyway? gona get mine then get out... don't care if some stupid sloot cums or not." PoliciaLoco loses his way also and concludes his postings on the 2nd page with: "The artist, Sophie Wallace shows her teddies on her tumbler. Just FYI."

There are also randomly distributed comments relating to one of my favorites of the laws - Cliteracy Natural Law # 14 which says "The vaginal orgasm is a myth invented by Freud in 1905" with richard noggin changing the topic as follows:

I would pay lots of money to see a 4 inch clit lmfao 

but.. girls do orgasm from their vaginas dont they? my girl does? am I a brodcaster status now?

richard noggin's avatar. 

and Stannis saying:

Girls can't orgasm from penetration? Not sure if srs..? I don't think she was faking. (hmm)

and ItsNerfOrNothin with:

Vaginal orgasms a myth? GF is in so much fuken trouble SRS
Gonna fight about this tomorrow wish me luck

Then lui9806 with the following comment and anime-rage gif:

So where just gonna let that "vaginal orgasm is a myth" go unchecked?

 And bossavery with:

are u kidding me? women saying vaginal orgasms aren't real? pretty sure ive got girls off multiple times by fingering/massing that G spot and the girls werent frauding. 

fuk this ghey world

BushrodButtram gets a bit more investigativey on the subject and writes:

All this "women can't climax from intercourse" stuff is greatly exaggerated and is supposed to delegitimize normal sex. Some proponents basically think that all straight sex is basically unpleasant for women and that men like it that way:

BushrodButtram then links a kinda stream-of-consciousness post from a self-described radical feminist in which she talks about the dichotomy that exists for women about wanting too much or too little Penis-in-Vagina sex and the sense that P-i-V sex is THE only type of sex. (Her whole post is  HERE. Granted, it is a too obsessive with terror-of-pregnancy and also too blamey for my taste, and it's written a bit aggressively, but if you shake off all the dirt, it honestly has some thoughtful points....could be good for a future post). Anyway, BushrodButtram is kinda pissed about it and finishes his comment with:

Therefore, from their point of view, of course women should insist on "cliteracy" since women's collective sexual self-interest is best served if men don't want to have intercourse, seeing it as an inferior and ineffective form of sex.

I mean, let's be honest, as lady-gasms go, intercourse is an inferior and ineffective form of sex, but that's neither here nor there. Bushrod clearly has his Buttram in a bunch because the whole issue gives him too much feels. He feels the whole Cliteracy 101 thing comes from some crazy motherfuckers thinking intercourse sucks for women and that men want it to suck for women (and I'm sure Mr. Buttram doesn't actually want sex to suck for Mrs. Buttram - seriously. I really think he doesn't and it is offensive to him to think women would think he does). I hear ya Buttram, I do, but sometimes things must be said that are hard to hear, and we all need to listen - no matter whose fault it is.

Synth1230 chimes in with:

i like how all the slogans are presupposed to make it the man's fault. If you get off on clit stimulation then rub your fuking clit you pleb. Not to mention that going down on these chicks is impossible cos of the 10 coks theyve taken earlier in the day.  

The Quality of Women is going down yet their standards become higher and higher. If youre a good women ill gladly eat you till the cows come home and rub your clit during penetration but you better give me a blowjob when i tell you to.  

 vaginal orgasms are infact real or rather orgasms for simple penetration are.

Simplistic as it may be, Synth1230 has a point about rubbing one's fucking clit - I mean just do it, right? But I suspect he may not quite understand how strangely not easy that is to do in real life...I mean sometime our culture can get aggressively anti-clit...ya know? He is likely wrong about how many cocks the average women who asks him to go down on her has had in the 24 hours prior to asking, but I'm not him, so I won't pretend to know his circumstances. If this is true, then yes, I think a shower would be appropriate before any eating out, but it's not technically impossible. Let's be honest here. No one wants the disease of 10 other men's ejaculate on their tongue or the taste of 10 latex condoms. Plus, she's probably dehydrated at this point and would do well to just go home, take some time off and drink some water....although on the other hand, after taking 10 coks in 1 day - and likely not orgasming (cause Cliteracy Law # 14 is actually pretty accurate), doesn't she deserve a good eating out so she can finally get the fuck off? As for orgasms from simple penetration being real, as you know, I stand by the statement that there is no evidence of that being true.

EDcellent let everyone know about his experience too:

*Finger banged a girl and she squirted crew* checking in. Not a single part of her clit was touched that night. 

Or any other night.

Thanks EDcellent, and true story. Fingerbanging is actually a pretty good way to get a girl to squirt. It's called an ejaculation, and if the clit wasn't touched, definitely doesn't include an orgasm...but maybe EDcellent's girl isn't into orgasms anyway. To each her own.

LikeAMachine didn't like the idea of saying the vaginal orgasm was a myth either:

A myth? lol ok, right 

fukking hipsters rustling jimmies

Two ladies got into the discussion too. Staberella just wanted to get practical:

LOL this is silly. Instead of making a big fukking deal over their man sucking in bed to the world, they should let their partners know what they like in bed. No need to make it public.

It seems she is gently acknowledging that dudes who bang with no clit game suck in bed (even the toughest of body-building chicks like that mouth on that lady junk, am I right?) , but fair enough, Staberella - keep that shit to yourself.  4 vulva rating to Staberella for her subtle insinuation (!)(!)(!)(!).

CallMeOniichan was quick to get to the real issue, though, when he replied back to her, "I don't think the artist is into guys." Classic move CallMeOniichan.

and conceptions, well she didn't really care much about all this, but she was a bit better informed than most of the dudes so far about the vaginal orgasm is a myth thing. She says:

I think that claim comes from the belief that the nerves etc of the clitoris extend into the vaginal walls/g-spot, so they're all clitoral orgasms. No. 4 on the list in one of the pics seems right. I don't get what all the fuss is about.

The Cliteracy Law #4 conceptions speaks of is, "The clitoris is not a button. It is an iceberg" So she's got sense about her in that she's acknowledging that there is an inner, larger part of the clitoris. She's also right that there is a going trend that believes orgasms from penetration are due to the inner legs of the clitoris being stimulated to orgasm during penetration - so that even "vaginal" orgasms are clitoral. However, there is no scientific evidence of orgasm ever actually happening from stimulation inside the vagina, so there isn't really a "vaginal" orgasm to speak of at all, and thus speaking about what causes it is not useful since it doesn't really exist (at least in scientific literature). She gets 4 vulvas (!)(!)(!)(!) on her comment though, cause it's kinda thoughtful at least, and she tried to calm the fire. *No one cared though, I guess, because there were absolutely no comments to what she said.

A few other brave comments worth mentioning...theRealGriNC was just honest:

Does anyone else mess around with the clit or is it just me? I didn't think it was such a big deal.

It is a big deal - because it's not done enough. Thank you, theRealGriNC. Also, solidus2k3 kept his comment simple, but effective with: "Pussy eating crew" Different "crews" are always checking in. For instance, InfraRed407  said "can navigate the clit crew checking in" Yes sir, please do check in.

 Hmmmm. I'll give a final word to richard noggin who added this toward the very end of the 3 page thread:

alright boys lets all just admit it the clitoris is a myth, a made up fairy tale that was conjured up by feminists to scare little boys before bed. Has anyone seen this so called "clit"? no. no one has ever seen one because it doesnt exist. that dangly thing down there is just the bull**** that feminists are full of trying to escape.

Wait no. I want to give the last word to snowyowl, who actually made a top notch 5 vulva rating post  (!) (!) (!) (!) (!).  Bravo to him...and he never said anything super ass-holeish....and he had the hottest pic.

snowyowl's avatar 

 I'd rub my clit all over those abs. Here's his post. It was simply the juxtaposition of the 2 memes below.

Cats!

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I have a hundred different posts I really, really want to hunker down and write, but I'm entangled in all sorts of life stuff that don't involve writing about ladygasms for the undetermined number of people who might be reading this blog, so I feel I'm falling way behind. I want to keep up my pace of 2 to 3 posts a week though, and that means I need to write one today - but I don't have time to write any of the ones I really want to write. So I'm just going to write about my cats.

This is way off course for an SSL blog post - which almost always involves some insight into orgasm or masturbation; maybe cultural understanding of it, writings on it, media depictions of it, you know, all that stuff.  My cats, as far as I know, aren't orgasming much and don't plan to anytime in the near future. They are pretty asexual ladycats as far as I can tell, so I realize they are not a great SSL blog topic. Even if we consider that I sometimes write about indie movies or indie movie-making, my cats still aren't really important to that topic either. However, I will try to quickly relate each of my cats to the subjects of this blog. So enjoy, because this is what is happening now.

Cat background - All 3 of my cats are females and they are all around 5 years old. We got them all at different times though when they just sorta showed up at our house. We have a fantasy that they are all actually sisters from the same litter and just happen to get to us at different times. They might actually be. I can only assume they're related somehow. I mean a cat probably has about 300 first cousins. Charlie believes that this old ass motel that was torn down across the street from us shortly before our first cat arrived was deeply cat infested and that they all originated from there. In the end it's still a mystery. They all have a distaste for indie movies and TV in general.

Ramona
Only one we found as a kitten.
Movie significance: She was found in the engine of an actor's car parked in our driveway. She was from Chicago and staying here on one of the last days of shooting for Science, Sex and the Ladies. It's possible Ramona is a Chicago cat. Also, she's got a bit part in the movie - a reshoot we did at the house. (If you can tell me the scene, I'll give you a prize).
Crew type: She's an edit cat. She got here just in time to be sitting next to the computer for almost all the editing of SSL.
Sexuality/orgasm/masturbation significance: She's very inexperienced and naive.  Her gonads were ripped from her as a young girl, and I assume that besides her litter mates, she didn't even see other members of her species until Tina arrived 2 years later. She's like a pampered, sexless, beauty that's been locked in a castle her whole life.

Tina
She looked like Christina Ricci when we found her, but she's put on some weight and doesn't so much anymore.
Movie significance: Her meow is over the ending title of Science, Sex and the Ladies.
Crew type: She's a production cat. She got here just in time to be involved in several re-shoots and little video bits we did to advertise our Kickstarter for the movie. She likes to smell the equipment.
Sexuality/orgasm/masturbation significance: She might be the only cat to have engaged in the sex. She wasn't spayed when we found her, and her nipples are so long, I thought she might have had babies, but I've since learned that some cats just have long nipples. Knowing that cat dicks are barbed and quite painful for lady cats when pulling out, I understand why she seemed so interested in living indoors.

Eds
I named her Edgar while she was still outside. When we found out she was a girl, we shortened it to Eds.
Movie significance: Before Eds moved in, she showed up one day with about 3 inches of her tail hanging by a thread, and then a few days later she showed up and it was gone. She also had so many worms...so many worms. That has nothing to do with the movie, but it was something weird and gross that happened while we were working on post production.
Crew type: Eds is a watcher cat. She got here about when the post production was finishing up, and we had to watch it a lot for mistakes and for score discussions and for making deeper cuts. Seriously, you can't imagine how many times you have to watch your own movie, carefully from beginning to end, before it's done. anyway, Eds is our only cat who sits on the couch and watched TV with us. She would do it for 1000 hours in a row if she could.
Sexuality/orgasm/masturbation significance: Eds was spayed when we found her, but she was an experienced outside cat, killing birds out of the air and maybe waging war with the groundhogs that lived under our shed. She's probably been around the block once or twice. She very much likes to watch....from a close proximity. It must be soothing because it puts her to sleep.

Sexy Dude costumes - The SSL Halloween Special

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In the tradition of past Halloween posts, I'm going to talk about costumes. I try hard to make these very special Halloween costume posts both fun and related to the discussion or depiction of female sexual release. You might remember last year's post about the "Orgasm Donor" costume. You also might remember the post in 2012 about using weird sexy costumes to find love for own clit instead being all giving and stuff.

Well, this year, let's focus on boy sexy costumes instead of sexy costumes for the ladies. My feeling is that the time has come for men to share in the responsibility for making Halloween the top sexiest holiday. Ladies have been shouldering this burden for way too long, so this post is dedicated to all the brave sexy-costume men out there that make Halloween and the fantasies we masturbate to later, hotter for all us hetero gals out there. However, let me bring up the obvious. The gay guys are probably giving more to this cause than straight ones.

A friend's FB led me to a lovely post, "Slutty Halloween costumes for Hot Dudes," from the blog Confessions of a Boy Toy, and it's not about straight men in slutty costumes, which got me thinking about this very post you're reading. Honestly, I'm not picky, I don't care if your eight pack does dudes or ladies, the view's the same either way, but honestly, it's not fair. Hetero guys shouldn't get off the hook just because gay guys try a little harder to keep that shit tight for their potential lovers.

This is a call to action for the straight dudes. College Halloween Frat parties next year should have as much male skin as lady skin...no it should have more male skin. I mean, if we are ever going to achieve balance, there's a lot of make-up ground the dudes need to cover. It could be decades of women in ghost costumes and men in Olympic Swimmer costumes before we get that balance, so let's get to work. We ladies, our clits, and the state of heterosexual relationships deserves it!

Here's some pics to enjoy. Happy Halloween.

An Ode To Lady-bation In Celebration Of Independence!

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In honor of Independence Day which all of America will be celebrating with fireworks and fantastic food tomorrow, I am re-posting a little tribute I did about 2 years ago. It's about lady-bation, which is certainly one of the most important acts of independence. Also, for fun and so I don't bore you if you read this 2 years ago, I added a little more to it this time. Enjoy...and please practice a little independence tomorrow!

Here's to all the ladies rubbing up against their pillows; grinding hips into old teddy bears; laying on the couch spread eagle with their hands between their legs; riding their palms, face down on their bed; legs crossed in class gently pressing thighs against lips; silver bullet vibrators gliding across their vulvas; handle ends of old electric toothbrushes with just enough vibration pressed against clits; giant, cumbersome back massagers misused in the cover of night; fancy removable shower heads held dangerously close to the nether regions; quick rub offs in bed to help nod off; secret, quiet circles on disappointed clits next to sleeping lovers; joyously lip jigglin' in office bathroom stalls with memories of last night; frantic childhood couch arm humping; bored fingers on swollen clits; pick-me-ups between study sessions; unintentional bike seat friction; slow, sensual vulva massages in front of dirty internet searchings; wanton orifices chock full of toys as the Hitachi dances against puffy lips; good vibrations sitting on top of dryers; and all the other dirty, sexy, bored, silly, loving, gentle, secret, uninhibited, prohibited, fantastic ways we get ourselves, by ourselves, off.

P.S. Here's the one I posted back then about male-bation too.

Lady Clitoris and Lord Peter DeCocke at the Indy Pride Parade!

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This past Saturday Science, Sex and the Ladies proudly marched in the Indianapolis Pride Parade. We were there to promote our movie, to promote Orgasm Equality for All, and most importantly in support of the Indy LGBT community. Was it fun? Yes, sir. Did we get a lot of love from the parade viewers? You know it! Did our parade formation include the esteemed couple, Lady Clitoris and Lord Peter DeCocke? Why yes it did. Here are some facts about our Indy Pride Parade adventure.

Most of our Science, Sex and the Ladies crew for the Indy Pride Parade (some were hiding)

1 Lord Peter DeCocke became nauseous about an hour before the walking began, but heroically pulled his shit together at the last minute and wowed the crowd.

2 Peter DeCock is an actual name of somebody that works at my day job company. It is a large company, so I don't know this man, but I found him by looking up dirty sounding words for fun in the company address book. I also found Thomas Van Ass and one of my all time faves, Virginie Assmat.

3 Science, Sex and the Ladies threw out 1260 pieces of candy including Sour Patch Kids, Starbursts, Twizzlers, Gobstoppers to the spectacular spectators along the route

4 The temperature was around 80 F, which was not as hot as were were fearing. However, even with a nicer temp, you'd think it would get pretty hot in old-timey clothes, but it actually wasn't too bad.

Lady Clitoris and Lord Peter DeCocke at the Indy Pride Parade 2014

5 We were marching behind Cummins, which is a large company headquartered in Columbus, Indiana, but it also sounds kinda dirty. Oh, and all the Cummins folks seemed real nice.

The AnC Crew with our ab fab Costumer!

Lady Clitoris posing with some of the excellent ladies of burlesque here in Indy

My Class, Questioned

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I'm always checking my pageviews and stuff for this blog. I like seeing how many people are coming here and why. I can look at words and phrases people search to get them here (like HERE and HERE), and I can also see links to pages that bring people to my posts. A lot of times it's a Google search page or a Reddit post or stuff like that - stuff I know about. However, sometimes I find a strange one. Sometimes it's a blog or comment or something out there on the interwebs that talked about or linked to one of my posts. It's like Christmas when I find one of these. 

For 1, it assures me that at least one person out there reads my strange ladygasm ramblings, and 2, it's incredibly exciting to think that someone liked it at least enough to share it (seriously, it makes me straight up giddy).

So, this happened a couple days ago, and the circumstances of this link and the comments were pretty much awesome. My class was called into question. It was a thread on The Digital Fix, and they were talking about the movie Blue is the Warmest Color. Someone had said they just saw it and really liked it and then the conversation went a variety of places, but one place was to the controversy around the explicit and long lesbian sex scenes. It was started in October of last year and so it's a fairly old thread with comments trickling in towards the end - which was were I saw the link. I'll just quote it all here.

driver8  28-05-2014, 08:49 

As we were discussing earlier in the thread, I think it's a missed opportunity and wish the sex scenes were less porny and more realistic.  

Here's a good new review specifically of the sex scenes - Blue is the Warmest Color - TheSSL Review 

From an excellent blog by the director of Science Sex and the Ladies (2013) [IMDB] - a documentary that attempts to dispel the Hollywood myths about p-in-v sex. 

We blog critically on a specific intersection of science, sexuality, and feminism; particularly paying attention to how female sexual response is discussed, portrayed, and studied in our culture. So...if you're interested in science, sex, lady stuff, or indie movie making...this is the blog for you. 

Ratfink  28-05-2014, 09:40 

It's a dreadful review. Rating a film in vulvas? Yeah, that's not tacky at all. 

driver8  28-05-2014, 10:10 

hehe ... well it's not a film-review site, it's a sex blog ! And you didn't even mention that it only reviews the sex scenes and not the movie as a whole! :) 

Ratfink  28-05-2014, 10:19 

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have clicked at work.. But any site that reviews only sex scenes is itself tacky, even when written from a feminist perspective. 

I honestly do not get the fuss over this film - it was three hours of boring. The sex scenes were nothing. Their relationship was not in the slightest bit interesting. I found the whole thing the height of tedium. 

baloobas  28-05-2014, 16:18 

Quote: 

Originally Posted by Ratfink  

I honestly do not get the fuss over this film - it was three hours of boring. The sex scenes were nothing. Their relationship was not in the slightest bit interesting. I found the whole thing the height of tedium. 

You sir, have a cold, cold heart. I bet you laughed when Bambi's mother got shot.

 So, this is what I want to say about this.

1. driver8 - I don't know who you are, but you said my blog was excellent. I rarely hear anything about my blog, so this was just plain lovely. You get a full 5 vulva rating for bringing my SSL review into a thread (!)(!)(!)(!)(!). If you contact me at trisha at ancmovies dott com I'll send you a free, limited edition cast and crew copy of Science, Sex and the Ladies. Hopefully you'll still read the blog after you see the movie. :) (this offer stands even if you really do live in Maldives like your profile says.)

2. Ratfink - you cranky ol' dog you! I know you didn't like that slow artsy French movie, and I get it. Honestly, even though I liked the movie, I could have done without the chewing sounds Adele would sometimes make. We can't take our frustration out on others though. Now, I'm not gonna argue that rating films in vulvas or reviewing only the female orgasm and masturbation parts of a movie is exactly high class, but I'm partial to it and it kinda goes with the whole lady-gasms-are-depicted-ridiculously-too-often-in-the-media-and-we-need-to-recognize-this vibe of the blog so it's staying. I'd love if you could come to terms with that, but for now, I'm going to have to give your comment a 2 out of 5 vulva rating (!)(!). Your tone was just too flippant for my taste, but you did seem to read at least a little of the blog, so that counts for something.

3. Baloobas, I believe you were the fella who started the thread. You just wanted to share and discuss a movie you greatly enjoyed. I respect that - even if ol' cranky Ratfink doesn't.

Thanks again driver8! And to anyone else out there, feel free to let me know if you see or post links to my blog. I don't always catch them, but I do adore them.

***UPDATE 7/29/2014**** Driver8 posted this link onto the thread above and Ratfink, you classy ol' dog you, was quite cool and thoughtful about it all. I have to give it up. I'd like to up the vulva rating. I really would, but unfortunately a vulva rating can absolutely not be changed under any circumstances once issued. Ratfink's reply is below, but you can check it all HERE. 

Ratfink  28-07-2014, 16:35

That was nicer than expected.

I feel I should address a few points though. Firstly, yes, I am a cranky old dog - guilty as charged. And I'm often flippant. However, I didn't have an issue with it being a 'slow, artsy French movie' as was implied - I watch a lot of films that fall under that category - I had an issue because I spent three hours with characters I felt no compassion or affinity for. I recently watched the three hour director's cut of Betty Blue, having only previously seen the theatrical cut, and that was a far more invigorating, passionate dissection of a doomed relationship, with a star-making performance from Béatrice Dalle. Point being I think the sex scenes oversold an underwhelming character drama. 

But I digress. Had I read the post leading to the review, or the review itself, properly, I may not have responded so critically. Hard to say, I can be cranky, but I doff my cap to Tricia in apology and respectfully accept the poor vulva rating.

Hey Girl Ryan Gosling - The Orgasm Equality Set

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Honestly, I didn't think much about Ryan Gosling a couple years back. He popped up on my radar though, strangely, when the Super Bowl was going on here in Indianapolis. I'm not into football really or the Super Bowl, but it was actually really fun watching everyone here in Indy on blogs and Facebook and stuff having fun hanging around downtown. So, while I was stalking my fun-having friends and acquaintances, I noticed someone shared a bunch of Boyfriend Ryan Gosling memes -Indianapolis Super Bowl edition. Now, I hadn't really even heard of the Hey Girl Ryan Gosling Meme or the Feminist Ryan Gosling memes, but something about these Hey Girl, Indy ones were just plain enjoyable to me. They are very specifically Indianapolis-centric and you probably won't find them amusing at all if you aren't from here - For instance "Hey Girl, You're so hot Paul Poteet gets confused." or "Hey Girl, There's more than corn in Indiana, but all I see is you."

From then I started noticing Ryan Gosling more in movies. I loved him in Drive and in the recently SSL reviewed Only God Forgives. Anyway, he also has a reputation for being a feminist including speaking out on the NC17 rating for Blue Valentine - about how ridiculous it is that we see violent sexual acts done to women all the time on the big screen, but as soon as someone shows an explicit scene with a woman receiving a pleasurable sex act, everyone gets their panties in a bunch.

So with all that, I thought I would do a twist on Hey Girl Ryan Gosling. I present to you - Orgasm Equality Hey Girl Ryan Gosling. Enjoy.

Searches People Used To Find This Blog

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Um, it's been a while since I've posted any of the searches that Blogger shows as bringing readers to my blog, so here's what I've collected the last few months...

(I didn't know what picture to put with this post, but I figured the theme here is random, so I went with this random picture of me in an apartment in Kansas City sleeping next to my favorite cat, Frank...that is favorite cat that is not one of my own cats)

Me and sweet, sweet, Frank chillin'

saxy movi multal garl - a bad speller looking for sexy girls doing mutual masturbation or someone having a seizure as they typed?

easy clits - Who isn't looking for some slutty clits....am I right? Am I right?

giant vulvas - when normal sized vulvas just don't cut it

clits liking - Do they want to find others who share their "liking" of "clits" or did they mispell licking and want to do just that to clits-plural not just one little ol' clit?

orgasm equality - Yeah, ya'll! It does my heart good to know at least one person out there wanted to google "orgasm equality"

nudey woman and aman - just 1 man please....or was that a prayer with a mispelled amen?

clit boner - I hope after they googled this it said "Did you mean  'binner'?"

"documentary jerk off in your pussy" and "mind if i jerk off in your pussy with my" - I'd like to say these are just weird fetishes about polite men who like to jerk off in pussies while watching astute documentaries, but it's actually a quote from After Porn Ends, a doc I SSL reviewed and the search is a quote that I spoke about quite a bit - it's actually pretty poignant.

did mila kunis really give oral to timberlake - You won't find out for sure in my blog. I'm no gossip.

disappointed clits - :(

pornset fights - I actually would like to see some of these.

moms clit - Girl wondering if she likely inherited a clit like her mom's? A person simply wanting to fantasize about their mom's clit? A fetish maybe - the person likes the clits of people who are moms?...or is there a clit style that I don't know about that the kids are calling "mom clit"? Maybe it's like mom jeans. I just don't know for sure.

Alright, I have more, but they'll have to wait till next time.

Ladies, Urban Dictionary Hates the Binner...or just me...Anyway, Help the Binner!

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Okay, so I submitted the word "Binner" - you know, the inner boner or lady boner - to Urban Dictionary back in August. In my premature excitement I wrote about it HERE. Well, they rejected it. I thought it was a little ridiculous, but I had included a sentence that said the word was first used in a promotional video for the movie "Science, Sex, and the Ladies." To my knowledge that is a true statement, but maybe the UD editors thought I was just trying to use the definition as some kind of promotion, so I took that part out and resubmitted the following definition.

Binner: The inner erection of the clitoris that females get when aroused; the inner boner.

The part of the clitoris, the clitoral glans, that is seen on the outside of the body is only one piece of the clit, and it's got all the nerve endings. However, the rest of the clit extends down into the body and is made of erectile tissue. This part of the clitoris fills with as much blood as a penis does when males get erections, so it can be thought of as the inner boner or the "binner."
 
examples:
I got such a binner watching those smokin' hot dudes playing beach volleyball.
I can't really think right now because my raging binner's sucked all the blood from my brain.

 REJECTED - again. At this point, I'm feeling like this is a bunch of bullshit and that maybe the editors are 12 year old boys who think I'm making up this thing called a "clit," so I went to the UD feedback area (because I guess I have nothing better to do) and asked why it was rejected. See my email below.

I submitted a definition for the word "binner" that seems to me to be a completely legitimate and yet unnamed description of the increase of blood females get during arousal in the inner part of their clitoris - the "inner boner." I and many people I know use the word. It was rejected on my first try - and I assumed that the problem was that I included the following line in my definition "First used in a Thanksgiving video to promote the movie Science, Sex, and the Ladies." To my knowledge that is true, although I can see how it may seem like the definition was just created as a promotion. So, I took that part out and resubmitted. It was refused within a couple hours.

Honestly, I am only really pursuing this because as I was thinking about it, it bothered me that there are so many entries in UD that are about boners and jizz and sluts and pretty gross/painful/mean sexual acts done to women. Yet, one simple definition that accurately describes sexual arousal in women is rejected? I feel like just for balance sake it should be included.

Anyway, given the definitions that already exist in UD, I can't see why "binner" was rejected, and I'd love to hear more about that decision. Here is what was submitted......Thanks for reading my long email, and I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks, Trisha

So, about 2 weeks later I received the following generic email:

Hi ,

Volunteer Urban Dictionary editors read every suggested definition and decide whether it should be published. They don't tell us exactly why a definition is published or rejected, but maybe they didn't understand the definition or didn't think it was entertaining. If you want to become an Urban Dictionary editor, you can go to this page: http://www.urbandictionary.com/editor.php

Thanks

Seriously, it seems like Urban Dictionary will take about any definition you throw at it - just look around that place. Also, the page they suggest you go to to be an editor is actually just a quiz, but whatever. And you know what? My binner definition was plenty entertaining. I might actually be right about the editors being 12 year old boys. What is important now though is that I am obsessed with getting Binner into Urban Dictionary, and I need your help! (cause they don't seem to like me.)

Anyone and everyone should go and submit Binner to Urban Dictionary. Feel free to also go submit other kinda feminist shit like "letting your lips flap"

Then, tell me what you have done and I will go upvote it...and try to make other people do it too.

The Romance Novel Orgasm as discussed by readers of Smart Bitches Trashy Books Blog

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So there's this website called "Smart Bitches Trashy Books." It's all about thoughtful, often incredibly harsh, and pretty dagburn fun discussions about romance novels by people who love romance novels. I prefer my trashy tales in the form of TV and movies, so I'm not a romance novel reader. It was the ever fabulous Kat von Sass who turned me on to this website. That's where she learned about The Duchess Wars - a book that had uncharacteristically realistic sex scenes. She wrote an SSL review of the book, and while we were emailing back and forth about it, she sent me a link to this 2006 thread on Smart Bitches Trashy Books about the terrible descriptions of orgasms in romance novels. It was pretty funny - and insightful too.

From the romance novel portion of "Science Sex and the Ladies". There was a lot of fans blowing hair and longing looks on set that day. Honestly, this was probably our favorite scene to shoot.

I think it's clear that the whole simultaneous orgasm thing where the heroine has a life altering spirtiual/body/galactic orgasmic experience while her hero moves his p in her v seems pretty stupid and unrealistic to most of the people on the thread, but it was also clear that these dumb depictions of orgasm are still influential in shaping individuals' expectations about sexual experiences. Also, the consensus seemed to be that these descriptions still fill the vast majority of romance novel sex scenes and that it continues to happen because that's just how romance novel sex is supposed to be. It's what is expected and what gets written.

So, romance writers out there - get gutsy! Write more realistic depictions of orgasm! Yeah, publishers and even readers might hate it at first, but who needs to make money, right? It's about changing the culture, changing the way we depict the female orgasm, and changing the unrealistic expectations too many of us soak up about what our sexual experiences should be like. You can do it Romance Novel Writers!

Anyway, if you want a laugh, you should definitely check out this crazy thread HERE. It also includes discussion about what words and images people hate most in the sex scenes (creamy, pulsing honeypot, velvet manhood, weeping cock, mossy grotto, winking nipples, boiling love juices...to name a few), and somehow towards the end they get onto foods men should eat to make their ejaculate taste better, cause, you know, doesn't everything end up there eventually?

Below, I picked out some highlight comments. These were ones I thought were a little more poignant in terms of SSL/orgasm equality type stuff, but they're also pretty fun too. Oh- and this thread began by SB Sarah writing:

I was flipping through my new used copy of Rebecca Brandewyne’s Desire in Disguise and on page 15 I came across the following passage:

"Almost simultaneously Noir felt himself burst like a ripe melon within her, spilling his seed."

Suffice to say, she found the melon bursting sex image kinda gross and so asked others about what they liked and didn't like in orgasm descriptions. Eventually it gets to the ubiquitous simultaneous orgasms in romance novel sex. Here's just a few. (H/H means Hero/Heroine)

Sherry Thomas said on 08.10.06 at 03:54 PM 

The H/H in romances have simultaneous orgasms b/c it’s what everyone else does.  It’s like if you don’t do it, you’d better have a damn good reason for it. 
As a writer, I’ve resigned myself to it.  But I set the limit strictly against virgins orgasming on their first experience of vaginal sex.  :-)
Sherry

Susan said on 08.10.06 at 10:16 PM

my biggest peeve is when the hero stops oral or manual stimulation just before she is about to come.

Some of these heros should be told about multiple orgasms.
In real life she most likely wont get one.

Carrie Lofty said on 08.10.06 at 10:52 PM

I know!  Let the girl have her fun when she can.  Sometime a dick just doesn’t do it, no matter how unimaginably grand the fictional phallus.

Rosie said on 8.10.06 at 11:29pm

...As for simultaneous O…in my early days of reading I wondered if sex was like that for “other” people.
  Many conversations and lots of experimentation later I figured out the right of it. But the young and impressionable (I was once) it was very misleading.

Madd said on 08.20.06 at 11:42pm

...I’ve read a few, can’t remember the names right now, where the heroine didn’t get hers during intercourse, but in most of those the hero took care of her first. I kind of appreciate the touch of realism in those. My man and I have pulled off a few simultaneous Os, but most romances would have you believe it happens every time. o_0
It’s kind of funny, though, when you read those and, like Rosie said, wonder if it’s like that for other people. Honestly, it wasn’t until a long while after my first experience that I got to talking to other women that I started seeing the differences between what you read and what is. I think that if you start reading some of these romances before you have much experience, it could give you false expectations.

Kiku on 08.11.06 at 12:40AM

Also - you get the feeling in a lot of novels that nothing but vaginal sex is ‘real’ - that everything else is just leading up to it or a pale imitation. There are other things just as enjoyable (if not more so, for some of us).
But absolute worst description? From a paperback I picked up many years ago - a squicky secretary/international tycoon deal: (semi-remembered adaptation)
“Mmm”
“Oh! Oh!”
“Gggrrrrhah!”
They lay wrapped in each other’s arms, the cool night air chilling their skin against the sopping bedclothes.
:ohh:

And I just liked this one cause it's got a point, and i like the words "sparkly rainbows of pleasure."

Colette said on 08.14.06 at 10:09 AM 

anything about ‘exploding into eternity’ or ‘crashing on waves of ecstasy’ have always bothered me, it just doesn’t sound like fun being whisked off everytime you get to the good part. I also remember a description that mentioned that she saw ‘sparkly rainbows of pleasure’ which made me suspect that maybe they had ergot poisoning.

Any description of penises being in wombs (‘plunging the inner recesses of her throbing womb’) should be off-limits. Just for complete neglegence of basic anatomy, if nothing else

 This one is just insane, I don't even want to know how it described her orgasm.

Lia said on 08.15.06 at 12:53 AM 

I can’t think of any good descriptions offhand, though the simplest are usually the least distracting. But I ran across another humdinger in an excerpt for a recent release:

“Lightning bolts pierced her body and joined her to him, a powerful wave
of desire sweeping over her.  Her body was on fire and the explosive kiss seemed to go on and on until it sucked every bit of breath from her.  She felt as if his lips, ravenous and demanding, were stamping her with his brand.  Whatever brains she had left liquefied and drained down
to her feet.”

Not only does it short out her nervous system, collapse her lungs, and brand her carcass, it melts her brains out.  And this is the first kiss.  I wouldn’t go near the rest of the book or her boyfriend with a surge suppressor.
But the author may have discovered the cause of human spontaneous combustion: Incendiary ranchers.