Mt. Vernon High School, VHS Editing, and Good Arts Teachers

The Pink Elephant: My Favorite Fortville, IN Landmark
A quick, fun, and slightly off topic post - what do all three of us in AnC movies have in common? (If you're wondering what AnC Movies is, it's the movie making crew that's making Science Sex and the Ladies, btw) the answer is that we all went to high school together. We all attended Mt. Vernon High School in Fortville, IN from 1994 to 1998. It was good times.

I bring this up because that was when we three learned video makin' - on sVHS, editing VCR to VCR. Oh, it was sweet old school shit. Hells yeah.

I want to thank MVHS for the video production classes we all took, and specifically, I'd like to thank our teacher Andrea Yovanovich. I can say "Andrea" now, but even though she wasn't much older than us, it was actually really hard for me to stop calling her Mrs. Yovanovich. Anyway, I can't put my finger on it exactly, but she inspired something in all of us, I think. Maybe it was just that she was cool and she gave us some learnin' that we wouldn't have otherwise had. Maybe it was because she let us use the school equipment on weekends and during the summer. Maybe it was because she gave us enough autonomy to not feel like the class was a chore. Who knows, but I'm glad it all happened. We had a lot of fun in those classes, and I'd just like to point out that if the video program had been cut while we were there (and I believe it actually was a few years later) we wouldn't be making a sweet ass movie about the culture of the female orgasm now, so if you want to blame anyone, blame MVHS and Yovo for that. :)  


Some Orgasm Equality Guts from Lady J on "In Bed With Married Women" Blog!

I like giving props to other people writing about things that I think contribute positively to the Orgasm Equality Movement. I'm trying my best to keep an eye out for stuff, but if you ever see anything that you think should be brought to readers' attention, then please email me or comment.

Anyway, I came across something on the blog "In Bed With Married Women" (IBWMW) and thought it was worth a highlight. IBWMW is self described as a blog that hops into your bed, staring rudely and taking notes. I can attest that it's a good read and quite funny. I have it on my Pulse app for night reading. It is also occasionally gutsy and real in regards to orgasm discussion, and I think that rocks.

The thing I want to share with you today, however, is actually a reader letter posted on that blog. Check it out HERE. The material in question is under Letter #2 from Lady J. She put together some nice arguments against a mommy blog advising moms that "foreplay is icing...and...wastes precious time." Basically the offending article says moms should make sex more important than those other things that often seem more important like sleeping, cleaning, and watching sweet, sweet, TV. While doing this, it advises that mommy's should head right to the intercourse, wasting no time with the unnecessary bits. (You can read the whole offending article through a link in the IBWMW post).

Lady J rightly points out that since we ladies don't really orgasm much from the in and out of intercourse, then it's a little silly to skip the good parts (i.e. what we commonly call foreplay). It's a pretty good post and I encourage you to read it. Thanks to Lady J for the guts to fight back on some crappy sex advice that puts female orgasm on the back burner, and thanks to Jill Hamilton for posting it on her blog!

I can never leave things alone though, so I feel I should also add these points to Lady J's already excellent letter.

1. It seems to me that each sex experience we have factors into how we feel about future experiences, so if we ladies start having sex, just to "have sex"/to please our partner/to keep intimacy alive and don't also get orgasms during it, then how we feel about sex as time rolls on will be quite different than our male partners who are likely having orgasms in each and every one of these quickie adventures.

2. Mutual masturbation. Everyone gets theirs, and it can be quite quick. Or, just plain masturbation...just cause we chose to blend our life with our partner doesn't mean we have to share every single orgasm with him/her. Let's face it, there's bound to be times in your long lives together when one or both of you keep your sexual life mostly to yourself. It's not a failure, and it doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way forever.

3. Intercourse is orgasmically better (or orgasmic at all) for us ladies if we give ourselves a hand or a vibrator. In my opinion, any advice about quickies for women should mention that.


Cosmo SSL Review: Jan 2013 #4: The Corkscrew is Lame

This is my 4th SSL review from the January 2013 Cosmopolitan Magazine, and my 3rd for the article within called "Rebound Sex, The Right Way." by Casey Gueren. This one focuses on the "The Rebound Move To Master" blurb. Why don't I just let you read it.
If you haven't tried The Corkscrew yet, now's the time to break it out. It's a move that makes female orgasm especially easy - perfect for when you're craving a big bang of a comeback.
This twist on woman-on-top puts you in the drivers seat and stimulates both your G-spot and clitoris says Cynthia Gentry, author of What Women Really Want in Bed. After foreplay has you truly aroused, confidently push him back on the bed and straddle him. Lower yourself onto his penis slowly, and as you're moving down, lean forward and move your hips in a circular motion as you descend. When he's all the way inside you, and your pelvis is pressed against his, grind forward and back several times to create pressure and friction on your clitoris. Then slowly spiral back up, and repeat, building the tension until you're ready to reach orgasm.

I like to put things in perspective by thinking about equivalent advice for men. Imagine sex advice to men telling them about a great move, let's call it the The Backhammer, that stimulated both his "g-spot and his penis" so that it's extra easy for him to orgasm! After some foreplay gets him nice and hard, then start moving a dildo slowly in and out of his ass. Eeach time the dildo move in, he gets a couple rubs on his dick!

Let me break this down. Okay, yes, penis rubbing is a sensible and easy way to elicit orgasm, but a sex move that involves a cycle of penis stimulation followed by no penis stimulation while stimulating his g-spot would not really be described as a move that makes male orgasm particularly easy. Some way of creating steady penis stimulation with movement controlled by him would be a move that "made male orgasm particularly easy" (such as most cases of intercourse). At best The Backhammer is a spicy, slow-burn move; good for trying out g-spot stimulation (which may or may not be pleasurable, might elicit ejaculation, but certainly wouldn't elicit orgasm) and also for spacing out penile stimulation to maybe make the arousal process last longer. That's all well and good, but it's not an easy way for a man to orgasm any more that The Corkscrew is an easy way for a women to orgasm.

The Corkscrew is similar to what I just described for a man. It is mainly vaginal intercourse with some clitoral stimulation, but only on the down strokes. First off, I call bullshit on the insinuation that this move "stimulates the G-spot" in some kind of particularly orgasmic way. It's just intercourse. It's about as likely to stimulate the g-spot in an orgasm producing way as any intercourse you have ever had in your life, and how has that worked out in the past? As I've discussed before (and please check out my explanation in this link if you are skeptical of my assertions about orgasm and the G-spot), G-spot stimulation does not elicit orgasm in men or in women. It could elicit ejaculation, but just penis in vagina sex isn't really great for that. If it were an easy way to elicit ejaculation, most women would have experienced ejaculation just from sex at least once in their life, and most have not - even with all the p in v going on out there. If you want to ejaculate, most experts would tell you to have someone stimulate the G-spot with a finger inside the vagina moving in a "come hither" fashion. A penis doesn't often move that way, and I would bet a lot of money that The Corkscrew isn't a move any expert would recommend for some sweet G-spot action. So, as far as the the whole G-spot part of the Corkscrew - it's utterly ridiculous.

Now, don't even get me started on the lack of interest in the thing that needs to be stimulated to elicit orgasm in women. The clitoral stimulation in this move isn't steady, which is really silly in a sex move that's supposed to make female orgasm especially easy. Sure, I appreciate that there is any clit stim mentioned at all in this move, since that's not always the case in these kinds of advice blurbs, but why-oh-why only on the down stroke. This isn't advice for a sex move that helps slow down the road to orgasm by stopping and starting the most important stimulation.

Let me just tell you what I would have advised for a get-yours-and-get-out round of rebound sex, which is what this article focused on.  "Hey ladies, jump on top, and then when ya get him in, hold him still (which I believe is an important and often overlooked step to rubbing off on a dude during intercourse) and grind your clit on him however feels good, and do it steadily until you come." Granted, this might not be the easiest way for some women to orgasm. Some are certainly more used to a hand or a vibrator, and so I would also add in the advice that goes something like this; "Get in a position that's comfortable for you to masturbate, then allow him to enter you in a way that allows you to move freely enough to masturbate how you normally would; making it clear he shouldn't jostle, move, block or otherwise bother you in ways that will obstruct your masturbating. Then masturbate to orgasm." It's that easy ladies. We really don't need these stupid, useless, complicated, weird sex moves to get orgasms during intercourse. If you want to try some of them out just to add some more complications, athleticism, style, or interest to your bedroom endeavors, more power to you, but this kind of crap should never be touted as moves that give women orgasms easily. It heavily reinforces the idea that intercourse, in and of itself, should give women orgasms and it, well, it just doesn't.

On that note, I'd also just like to point out that I stuck to a discussion of orgasm while having intercourse because that was what this article (and frankly most articles you'd ever read) focused on, but in general I'm of the mind that non intercourse activities should be the main course of much more sexual encounters in a world where female orgasm is truly valued and understood. In fact, if it were me writing the "Rebound Moves To Master" blurb. I would have advocated for mutual masturbation! (Cause it's hella-sexy and good for lady-gasms - see my further explanation here)

So I see this "Rebound Moves To Master" blurb as terrible advice, but it does acknowledge that clits exist, and it does include clit stimulation as part of the intercourse move - even though it seems to only include it as a special extra, not as the actual stimulation that will, if anything does, lead to the orgasm. So, I give it 1 vulva, but no more.


Vulva Cupcakes (Not Vagina Cupcakes)

Since this post includes sweets and female genitals, I'm going to call it my late Valentine's Day post. I'm sure most people have seen the pic of these vulva cupcakes by now. It's been floating around on the internet for a while. I'm not really sure where this pic first came from, but it's pretty good; enough detail, a nice amount of variety, and you know, they're cupcakes, so you gotta eat em' - which I think is a great fate for a vulva.

You know I can't just leave stuff alone though. I always gotta get all serious and take the fun outta everything, so here it is. It'll be quick. I just want to point out that if one were to look these up on the internet, one would find them called both "vulva" and "vagina" cupcakes. Vulva is the correct description. The vulva is the outer part of the female genitals - all the fleshy, flappy, wrinkly bits. The vagina is the thing penises, fingers, dildos and tampons often enter and where babies come through on their way out the womb.

I know people often use the word "vagina" to describe what is actually the vulva even when they know the real definitions. I think to a lot of people it just sounds better. I mean vulva does sound kind of like a sensible car. However, I would like to just make the point that mixing up the word vulva (which is where all the sensitive, orgasm creating parts of ladies reside) with the vagina (which is where we have the intercourse) is indicative of how confused our culture is about what needs stimulated to induce female orgasm. I mean the vulva has the clit and the sensitive lips and all the really good stuff. The vagina is kinda like the workhorse. They are very different things, yet it's as if the female "down there" is not important enough or understood enough to make the really key distinctions. We don't mix up the penis and balls on a man. I'm just saying maybe if we all started making the correct distinctions between vulva and vagina in our language, that might begin to help more people make that distinction in their sexy bedroom encounters.


Gossip Girl S 2 Ep 8: The SSL Review

I will not apologize for my new found love of Gossip Girl. We're just on season 2 so far, but I have to say, it's pretty fun, and I particularly enjoy my new in-mind narration while observing others that always begins with the word "spotted" and ends it with the phrase' "you know you love me, xoxo, Gossip Girl."

Anyway, it just so happened that there was a passing nod to masturbation, and female masturbation at that. Obviously, this being a network show aimed kinda at teens, there isn't much room for depictions or discussions of orgasms or masturbation. This was the first thing I've seen that was worthy of an SSL review, and of course I had to do my duty.

It involved the most snotty and evilish female character on the show, Blair. (I'd like to take this moment to point out that she is one of my favorite characters, and although she's kind of a horrible person, I think she's much more human and interesting than the Serina character whose supposed to be the cool one. I can't stand her horrible mouth acting and terrible character development. Also, I love me some Chuck Bass. I just wanted to declare that publicly.) Anyway, the episode begins with a sexy fantasy and the narrator telling us sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hands. We find Blair in bed being interrupted by her Russian? nanny/maid telling her is time to get up and come down for breakfast, but ol' Blair says she just has to "finish something" first. As she's leaving,  the nanny says something like, "God is always watching Miss Blair." To my happy surprise, Blair doesn't seemed phased, she just smiles and throws herself back onto her pillows with a dreamy sigh.

Granted, Blair is not the "likable" character, but she is a proper feminine character with a type of traditional values. So, in my estimation, this was not a shameful, weird, unsexy or deviant depiction of female masturbation. At its worse, considering the underlying story line, masturbation is kinda depicted as a last resort, when real couple action can't be gotten, but at least she seemed happy while she was choosing that last resort. For a mainstream teen drama, I say this is pretty good.


Cosmo SSL Review: Jan 2013 #3: Only 1/3? Really?

I am now continuing my SSL Review of the January 2013 Cosmo article "Rebound Sex, The Right Way." by Casey Gueren. I reviewed the main part of the article HERE. In this post, I will comment on the "Rebounding by the Numbers" part, which is just the results of a poll conducted on Cosmopolitan.com in this one.

So in the poll, we find out that 62% of women claimed not to orgasm in their rebound sex and 32% did claim to orgasm. Does that not seem like a raw deal, right there? If a men's magazine found that 2/3rds of men couldn't orgasm during rebound sex, wouldn't that be the story? Yet it just sits there on the page in an unremarkable way.

It's so weird to me how there is this confused, bi-polar, forgive and forget kind of understanding of female orgasm, particularly in magazines like this where orgasming during sex is discussed casually all the time; new positions to give you better orgasms; new bedroom tricks. They do also mention from time to time how few women do orgasm from intercourse or how most can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. It's a very odd dynamic. In the same breath, they try to comfort the vast majority of women out there who don't recognize themselves in the getting-banged-to-orgasm media image of women we are constantly being exposed to but then also heavily contribute to the cultural feeling that sexual women easily orgasm from intercourse.

They point out the insanely large number of women who admit to never orgasming during intercourse, but take no interest in investigating or commenting on it in any thoughtful way. I mean, honestly, if we really just stop to think about that statistic, how crazy is that? It's pretty much the same statistic commonly found when women are asked if they orgasm often or always during just any ol' sex they have. For this type of question too, only about 1/3 say yes. Only a 1/3! I know that statistic is out there and people know about it, but sit and imagine what that says about the realistic, actual female experience with sex. That should be appalling, and incredibly interesting, and we should be really investigating what this means and why it is the case. Instead, if you ask me, as soon as it's written or said aloud, it seems we just sort of pretend it doesn't exist and move on as we always have. It's crazy.

So, I can't blame the article for not being outraged by that number. It's status quo and expected, but I think the insanity of that situation should be pointed out.


Cosmo SSL Review: Jan 2013 #2: At Least They Say Clit!

K, here's my 2nd Cosmo SSL review. As you might recall, I'm slowly SSL reviewing the discussions of orgasm in the Cosmo I bought around Christmas time. My first review is HERE. This review is from the article "Rebound Sex, The Right Way" by Casey Gueren. As you may suspect, it's about how to not, well, not get fucked over in your rebound sex endeavor. As is the nature of magazine articles, there are separate but related side snippets and stuff. I'm breaking my critique up into different posts. Next I will (more negatively) review the "Rebound Move to Master" and touch on the rebound sex poll results. For now though, I will just talk about the main article, and it's not so bad really.

Tthere are 2 points where the author says clit. Both times, to my delight, the involvement of the clit is correlated to an enjoyable sexual encounter. In the intro section, she says:
The pressure is on, your emotions are raw, and the sex can end up being a drunken mess with some guy who didn't even attempt to find your clitoris. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Later, when discussing how to find a suitable partner, the author says this:
Little gestures, like offering you his seat at the bar, asking if you're warm enough after someone opens the door, or picking up your jacket when it falls off the chair, let you know that he'll be just as eager to please (read: not only find your clitoris, but spend 20 minutes learning how to work it just right) later on.
I have to give props because the author insinuates that the clitoris is the pleasure center without insinuating (as so many advice pieces do) that the vagina is as important a pleasure center. I will, however, sadly point out that one might assume from reading this article that the responsibility for working the clit lies solely with the dude.

Yes, I get that men seem to get the better end of the one night stand deal, since we have so much more useful knowledge about how to work their ding dong than they have about how to ring our little knobby bell. So, yes, it would be nice to hope for finding a dude that is adept at clitoral figurin,' but the truth is, you'll probably be disappointed. Too many previous lovers faked for his misguided moves; he'll think he can fuck an orgasm out of you like they do in porn; and if you try to touch yourself, he'll think he's failing and try harder at whatever non orgasmic thing he's doing to you. Honestly, if this is just a one night stand, and you don't need to work on teaching him for future reference, it's probably just easier to tell him you want to rub yourself off, (because it's a fantasy of yours) and then do it, do it till you come like the lady you are. Plus, this whole article is promoting the idea of taking control of the rebound sex. So in my opinion that means taking control of your orgasm too. I mean, ladies, if you want something done right, do it yourself.