Random Hite Report #5

Hello there all! I know you want some more RANDOM HITE REPORT, ya'll! I've been heavy on the RANDOM MALE HITE REPORT's lately, and it's been a while since I gave you a randomly flipped to page out of the ol' Orgasm Equality Movement must-read, The Hite Report. If you want more info on this 1976 book that allowed women to tell the world about their own orgasms, feelings and sexual experiences - in their own words, then please head HERE

The following is from the chapter "The Future of Intercourse?" 

Pg. 534 The Hite Report Dell. 1976.

One woman explained in a long answer how disappointed she was in her husband's lack of interest in anything but intercourse. 
    "I have viewed married love as a growing together in the ability to express love and pleasure, but I haven't seen this growth in my marriage. My husband really doesn't seem to enjoy anything besides intercourse, and that very briefly, and I don't know what to do to change him. I've tried hard.
    "Masturbation is very important for me and I am really sorry I didn't know about it a lot sooner (I started doing it less than a year ago, at the age of 27.) I was interested in my sexuality, but my husband wasn't, so I decided to do something about it. Three years ago I came across the idea of masturbation for adult women in The Sensuous Woman. I cried and cried and cried because I had this romantic idea of having my husband care about and develop my sexuality - a feat for which I would be forever grateful and therefore endeared and close to him. (I had never had sex until marriage.) This was really important to me, so for the next two years I openly expressed my desire to have good sex and to develop my sensuality. Nothing much happened. So I finally said, well, if you don't care about my sexuality, I do! Then I asked him what he thought about masturbation. I found to my surprise that he did it! And that he thought that it would be great if I did it! It relieves him of that responsibility(?) of having to touch, caress, and learn about my genitals(?) Now I've learned to masturbate. And I do enjoy masturbating, but I feel sad that I can't develop my sexuality with my husband. For many women, sex is a union with another person and the cosmic universe. It is a leaving of the body and a disillusion of the self - so that isolation can end. Somehow I can't help but feel that my aloneness is intensified by the fact that my sexual partner hasn't shown the care of my sexuality. In that sense I really wish that I had learned about my own sexuality on my own a lot - being a teenager and learning about your body is different from being a married adult...


A Good Christmas

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I'm neglecting this blog a bit. We're in a busy cycle at work; we're doing a lot of home repairs right now; it's Christmas time and I got family and all that, and we're trying to get everything prepared for when the final sound for Sciences, Sex and the Ladies is delivered.

As far as the movie goes, we'll just have to lay the sound over our video and bada-boom, badda-bang, we got a finished movie. However, we still have to create the DVDs for our Kickstarter backers and for our cast and crew. We have to plan the cast showing, send out press kits, etc., etc. It's a whole big thing once the movie is for realz finished, and we really want to have as much done as possible beforehand so we are as prepared to spring into action once we get that sound....which looks like it's going to be really, really soon now. The day before Christmas Eve, we got word that all the music had been mixed and sent over to our re-recording mixer who was already 75% done at that point. So, it was the best Christmas present I got this yeas - the movie that I've been working on my whole adult life, actually fully coming to life. Now that's a good holiday.

I hope the holidays so far have allowed all of you some rest and relaxations, some fun, some friendly faces, and some good food. I'll be back in the swing of things soon, and I have some fun stuff prepared for the blog, so stay tuned.

Since I don't have any pictures of me from this year's Christmas readily available yet, below is a picture of me Christmas 2009 in a sweatshirt I think I stole from my best friend and still wear quite often. anyway, this was about 5 months after we finished shooting the majority of Science, Sex and the Ladies. (April -July 2009). Little did I know it'd be Christmas 2013 before that bitch was finished.

Me, Christmas 2009


Betty Dodson Quotes I Love for a Friday

It's Friday. I'm crazy busy at work, and you're probably busy too. So, I figure you need something quick and fun for this Friday before Christmas. So here you go.

Frankly, my dears, Betty Dodson just don't give a damn about what you think. I love it. She's funny, caring, and as I've mentioned before, she's got the right idea about what we need to do to make things better for women's orgasms. On that note, I've come across a couple quotes that I've compiles here for your reading pleasure. I actually think this might be a fun series. I know there are a million more quotes, I just don't have time to find more now, but when I do, you'll be happy I did. For now, enjoy the few below. They all are funny and rang true to me in some way, so let this 83 year old women tell it.

Betty Dodson taken form DodsonRoss website

"When friends ask if I'm going to have another love affair, my recent answer has been, "I'd love to have someone hold my dildo while I masturbate."- Betty Dodson/Carlin Ross Vlog 
I mean, right?..cause your hands are working on your clit and all, and if you want to stick a dildo up there while you're doin' it, you kinda got your hands full at that point. So yeah, that would be super sweet and relaxing to just have a human dildo holder. Seriously, I'm with her on this...not so much a "lover" as much as someone to assist your masturbation...I'm actually serious about this, it would be kinda awesome.

"Your Sleeping Beauty was awakened by an electric vibrator not by a kiss from a Prince!" - As part of an answer on DobsonRoss website
She was right on when she said this, but it's not just a quippy part of an answer. It's also probably so true for a lot of women. Falling in love with some dude and getting a kiss is easy in this world for women. However, a first orgasm after a lifetime without...now that will wake a lady up for real.
"I consider the 70s to be the youth of old age. So all you women out there who are afraid of getting older, just keep your orgasms in place, eat a lot of vegetables, take exercise, and you'll be fine." - I just found this on a quote website, and it sounds just like something she would say, so i'm going to believe it is a real quote.
If that ain't good advice, then I don't know good advice. Here's to the older ladies!


Another one about that show

Trisha's crushed at work this week so you get me instead. I've been watching Masters of Sex the Showtime show about the pioneering research of Master and Johnson. If you don't know who that is google it. It will be worth your while.

What I keep thinking is if fictional sex and sexuality in media shapes our cultural sexual norms what effect could this show that is supposedly about how we came to understand sex going to have? Contemplate that while you look at this lovely photo of the real Masters and Johnson and their hollywood counterparts.


Evan Rachel Wood, Movie Oral, and the Damn MPAA

A quick update on the oral-sex-performed-on-women-in-the-movies front. As you may know the MPAA are the people giving the movies you watch G's, PG's, R's, and sometimes NC-17's - you know if they have any lady-lickin' going on. Cause for real, they do have a history of tacking the box-office killing NC-17 rating on movies that include cunnilingus. Check out the Blue Valentine oral scandal (which eventually got remedied), and if you have about 2 hours, check out the film about how ridiculously subjective and biased the MPAA is in the doc This Film Is Not Yet Rated.

Anyway, this problem of NC-17ing cunnilingus is unfortunate since there's barely any represented in mainstream movies as it is. Penises seem to get a fair amount of oral attention in movies, and straight up P in V sex doesn't seem to have much trouble finding its way onto the big screen without an NC-17 rating, which I guess makes sense if you only really see sex acts that are orgasmic to men as normal and civilized enough for a wide audience.

However, we're a modern society, so this kind of problem with women receiving oral sex is a little stupid. I mean this shouldn't still be a problem actors, actresses and directors still have to speak out about, but it is, and I give Evan Rachel Wood credit for doing so. Her upcoming movie Charlie Countryman got the lady-oral-NC-17 -slap, which prompted the movie makers to cut the cunnilingus out, so she tweeted a rant, which I thought was pretty good. Go Evan Rachel Wood - and I hope you and others raise enough stink that the MPAA starts giving it a second thought before continuing to rate ladies-receiving-oral right out of our mainstream media.

After seeing the new cut of #CharlieCountryman I would like 2 share my disappointment with the MPAA, who thought it was necessary to censor a woman's sexuality once again. The scene where the two main characters make 'love' was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people 'uncomfortable' but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered.
This is a symptom of a society that wants to shame women and put them down for enjoying sex, especially when (gasp) the man isn't getting off as well! It's hard for me to believe that had the roles been reversed it still would have been cut. OR had the female character been raped it would have been cut. It's time for people to GROW UP.
Accept that woman are sexual beings … Accept that some men like pleasuring women. Accept that women don't have to just be fucked and say thank you. We are allowed and entitled to enjoy ourselves. It's time we put our foot down …


Female Masturbation in Cw's Reign!

Reign is a historical fiction series set in the time of Mary, Queen of Scots. It's a new CW series that has just begun in this 2013-2014 season. Now, I don't watch the show, but I know people who do, and I've been filled in on the basics of the plot line. Mary is awaiting her marriage in the French court, and given that she and her ladies in waiting are quite young for our standards of marrying age - it centers around teenagers. It sounds like a fun drama-rific show. However, no one happened to mention to me anything about the whole masturbation scandal I stumbled upon while searching around the internet recently.

Apparently in the show a bunch of the young gals watch through a keyhole as a newly married couple consummate their marriage (apparently a group of elders are watching from inside the room also - as was the custom of the day), and then the girls split up and deal with what they saw. One goes off, pulls up her skirt and starts using her hand to rub around down there - which according to Kate Aurtur on the Buzzfeed staff - was the first teen soap girl masturbation scene since Blair Waldorf in Gossip Girl a few years ago. So it's a fairly big deal, if I might say so myself. I mean we're always hearing about teen dudes masturbating - (you know even in pies and stuff), but it's just not that common to hear about in our media with girls.

However, the scene was cut down a bit between the pilot sent out to critics in the spring and the actual airing in the fall. It's still there but the masturbation part is shorter. And here's the weird part. The King of France happens upon her and takes over for her - replacing his hand for hers. I do like that he took over with the manual clit stim instead of going straight to doing her - which is what one might expect.

Truly, I don't watch the show, so I can't really interpret this scene in context with the characters, so I'm just gonna simply give the show props for even insinuating that masturbation is one way a young gal might react to the exciting situation of secretly watching a sexual act. The scene as aired is reportedly so short one would have to just assume about what is happening before the king arrives, but hey, it's something. I say the more girls feel that masturbation is a normal thing that others girls might do, the better. Show creators Stephanie SenGupta and Laurie McCarthy, I give you a tip of the hat.


Hey Girl Ryan Gosling - The Orgasm Equality Set

Honestly, I didn't think much about Ryan Gosling a couple years back. He popped up on my radar though, strangely, when the Super Bowl was going on here in Indianapolis. I'm not into football really or the Super Bowl, but it was actually really fun watching everyone here in Indy on blogs and Facebook and stuff having fun hanging around downtown. So, while I was stalking my fun-having friends and acquaintances, I noticed someone shared a bunch of Boyfriend Ryan Gosling memes -Indianapolis Super Bowl edition. Now, I hadn't really even heard of the Hey Girl Ryan Gosling Meme or the Feminist Ryan Gosling memes, but something about these Hey Girl, Indy ones were just plain enjoyable to me. They are very specifically Indianapolis-centric and you probably won't find them amusing at all if you aren't from here - For instance "Hey Girl, You're so hot Paul Poteet gets confused." or "Hey Girl, There's more than corn in Indiana, but all I see is you."

From then I started noticing Ryan Gosling more in movies. I loved him in Drive and in the recently SSL reviewed Only God Forgives. Anyway, he also has a reputation for being a feminist including speaking out on the NC17 rating for Blue Valentine - about how ridiculous it is that we see violent sexual acts done to women all the time on the big screen, but as soon as someone shows an explicit scene with a woman receiving a pleasurable sex act, everyone gets their panties in a bunch.

So with all that, I thought I would do a twist on Hey Girl Ryan Gosling. I present to you - Orgasm Equality Hey Girl Ryan Gosling. Enjoy.


Only God Forgives - The SSL Review

Okay, this is a slippery SSL Review here, folks. I can say that Only God Forgives  is clearly eligible for an SSL Review. It certainly has a depiction or discussion of female sexual release or female masturbation, so that's why we're here. The tricky part, though, is what to make of it. In this type of review I'm really just trying to asses the impact and significance of said depiction/discussion on our cultural understanding of physical female sexual response.

However, this movie is not straightforward, and critiquing the culture impact of the scenes from within the context of the movie is also not straightforward. So, let me just describe the scenes. They are both basically the same, just at different times in the movie. Julian (Ryan Gosling - who has a pretty good Orgasm Equality History) is seated and he watches Mai (Yayaying Rhatha Phongam), a fully dressed woman, doing what one could only assume is masturbating herself under her skirt. We don't see much of what's going on below the waist, but from arm movement/placement we could, ya know, reasonably assume she is masturbating. It looks as realistic as one could expect. She is putting on a little bit of a show with the whole tilted back open lipped I'm-clearly-pleasuring-myself facial expression, but it's not over the top. I wouldn't call it pornish or anything. The hand seems as if it's making circles on the clit/vulva area, which is certainly a realistic way one might masturbate - I mean it doesn't look like she's doing any of the not-so-orgasmic-but too-often-depicted-ladybation-movements we sometimes see in movies like  ramming anything in and out of her vagina, so it's a good, realistic depiction.

Julian (Ryan Gosling) and Mai (Yayaying Rhatha Phongam) - not one of the scenes I'm describing btw

You might be saying, "Hey Trish, why's this so hard to SSL Review? It's a depiction of Ryan Gosling in a hot suit paying (we assume since it's pretty clear in the movie that she's a prostitute) a lady to masturbate while he watches and doesn't touch (she actually ties his hands to the chair in the first scene)."

And I'd have to say, "You're right, my friend. This is actually the perfect scenario - a man (a hot one too) valuing genuine, realistic, and independent pursuit of sexual release in a woman. I mean that's great. Plus, it's my perfect prostitution job. I could be way into that, but, like I said, the movie ain't so clear cut." There's perspective switches and cuts between reality and fantasy. In fact it's open to interpretation what parts of these scenes are even really happening. There's also issues with the larger context of these two character's relationship - there's a bit of a power dynamic which could taint how you see these scenes. Plus, the movie is super "artsy" and violent and somewhat confusing depending on how you look at it, so I think this lady-bation scene could feel very different to different viewers, and I don't want to get too deep into that.

So, here's my final SSL Review conclusion. While acknowledging all the complications involved with the movie's context, I willingly take these scenes at face value and hereby declare that they are realistic depictions of how a female might physically masturbates, and that's more than most movies who either ignore it (more so than male masturbation) or depict it in an unrealistic way, so I give it 4 out of 5 vulvas!

P.S. I actually really liked this movie. It's of a certain taste, but if you like to try out varied styles of cinema, I'd give it a chance. There's some crazy shit in this, and it was so strangely pretty...