Let me ask a question. How many straight men reading this blog used male nudes as their first, let's say...masturbation helpers? I ask because I'm a straight woman who's first encounters with sexual imagery were all pretty much naked ladies; Playboy, Revenge of the Nerds, other random movies that showed boobage - you get the picture. What I'm beating around the bush about (pun intended) is that my first masturbation fantasies were pretty much just recounting the sexy naked women that I'd happened upon in movies, tv, and in random magazine I could get a hold of.
I'm pretty sure this is a common experience for women. How many lucky girls got to grow up in a household that facilitated a sneaky look at Playgirl? Maybe a few, but I'll bet if something was available for a sneaky look, it was more likely to be Playboy over a Playgirl. Let's be honest, though. When you're barely into pubescence, and you're desperately horny and curious, and Playboy's the only thing around, you're gonna check it out - and enjoy it...boy or girl. Now, I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule, but I'm guessing the first really sexually charged images (and if not first - then at least the most abundant) consumed by most people are images of women.
I think this point about our society should be considered more clearly in sexual and cultural research. It is an often overlooked, but probably important influence on gender relations, human sexual qualities, and our societal norms. Just contemplate a few questions. Firstly, what does it mean about the fluidity and complexity of human sexuality that same sex nudity can be a turn on during formative years, without shaking a preference toward the opposite sex? Looking at sexuality with this situation in mind may be a helpful perspective.
Secondly, what does it mean and what effects does it have that the majority of us, male and female, visually associate sexiness with female bodies - waaayyy more often than male bodies? What does it mean to women that we so strongly associate objects of desire with bodies so much like our own and so rarely with male bodies? How much does it affect the power structure of a sexual hetero relationship or a woman's feeling of ownership over her ability to desire when she so rarely sees examples of women as the desire-ee,and most often sees examples of women as the desired.
Just thought I'd give you some thoughts (and memories of sneaking looks at your dad's Playboys) to chew on for a Monday afternoon.
I've become obsessed with my pageview count for this blog recently. I'm trying to up my number - which I actually have done. I went from a consistent 300 to 500 views a month to a consistent 1000 to 1400 views this March. It may not be exponential growth, but I'm pretty happy with the progress. Anyway, part of my obsession involves constantly checking the stats - like the referring URLs and the keywords people use to end up on one of my pages. I particularly love checking the keywords each day. I get some fun ones, and I'd like you to enjoy some of the recent ones too.
Some are obvious and make sense given the content:
"sciencesexandtheladies.blogspot.com" (No explanation needed)
"science sex and the ladies" (None here either)
"selfloving: bodysex group day 2" (This would have to do with my Betty Dodson Series)
"dana edell spark" (I interviewed Dana about SPARK)
"lonnie barbach website" (I interviewed Lonnie here too)
"shere hite" (I talk about Ms. Hite...and I would love to interview her if I could ever get a hold of her)
"vulva lips" (I mean I actually talk about vulva lips a lot on here - I particularly like the phrase "letting your lips flap")
Some are more interesting - although I do see how these searches led to this blog. I always wonder if some of these phrases were typed in truly looking for niche erotica, or for research, or to follow up on a jokey conversation with friends, or maybe these are related to actual personal questions. I may never know...
"movie prop dildo" (okay, this is due to the movie prop dildo that we are pictured holding here)
"dildo with anus" (This also refers to the pictured dildo...because it does in fact come equip with an anus attached...and let me tell you, a good one is not easy to find. Did I tell you how soft that toy was and how lovely the anus felt - oh yeah, I stuck my finger in it. We all did. Plus, I was actually using it for an informative scene that did involve sticking the finger in the anus.)
"doc johnson dildo casting pictures blog" (seems a bit long winded, but again leads to the dildo with anus from previously discussed)
"b&w erect penis photos" (I checked where this search leads, and it seems that the review of Filament magazine comes up - pun intended)
"girl have a orgasm during a tattoo" (This certainly must have led to my SSL review of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The reasoning behind this search is intriguing...)
"morphsuit porn" (Oh yeah me and Barnaby dressed up in morph suits for a scene and there are pictures on this blog, but I can assure you that, for the love of dear tiny baby jesus, here was no porn involved.)
"mila kunis man orgasm" (was this searching for Mila Kunis having a "man" type of orgasm or is this searching for some combination of Mila Kunis and also a man's orgasm? Either way, it led to the SSL Review of Friends with Benefits)
"ladies making poo" (My personal favorite - who doesn't love ladies making poo. Of course this search led not to scat porn, but to my blog about discouraging ladies from poo-pooing metrosexually styled men.)
I'm sure in a month or two I'll be back with some more fun phrases. Have a great weekend all!
|Me resting on the green screen in between screwing up my lines|
The scene we re-did on Monday was just bad before (which is why we decided to re do it), but this time we cut stuff out and turned the voice over into an on-screen narrator. This scene opens and closes the section of the movie about porn. The onscreen narrator is a porn star who talks to us from her porn set just before she begins the porn shoot, and then also talks to us while relaxing after. Ervin Gainer was our male porn star, and made for a beautiful addition to the set. We actually did shoot this in a hotel.
|From left to right: Amber Helms, Natalie Ingle, Stephanie Fritz, Lindsay Leonard, etc, etc, chillin' on set|
|Nick Marson and Amber Helms doing the things we were telling them to do while rehearsing their lines - like holding hands and looking into each others eyes|
|Kelly Cantrell sporting a recently acquired Rugby shiner. She intended to be in this scene...and that's good enough for me!|
|Nick Marson acting like crew instead of an actor|
|From left to right: Abby Henkle, Kristen Marley, Sarah Perfetti, David Charles, Sachie Marubayasi, Danny DeSloover. I call these people the pose masters - particularly Sachie.|
|We got our sisters (the ones with kids) together! From left to right: The Bickel Family (my sis), The Nadler family (Barnaby's sis), and the De La Cerda Family (Charlie's sis).|
|Way back during our first shoots, Emma Weber played a little girl from the 50's who morphs into a 60's college gal. She came back all grown up to say a line about adolescents in the final scene.|
|Christa Grimmer gets dust wiped off her shoes before stepping onto the green paper. Check Barnaby in the background doin' some tapin'!|
|Jeremy and Christa were in SSL during our first shoots. They were engaged during that time and since have gotten married and had baby Jericho. They came back to say a line about parents in our final scene, and Jericho was awesome!|
|Me and Charlie between my takes. My feet hurt like a bitch.|
|Ervin Gainer, Abigail Wright, and Charlie getting ready to shoot the part of this scene that has our on-screen narrator playing a porn actress talking to us before getting to work.|
I feel like I need to get this genius-ness on the record. Let me paint the picture. Two spunky high school gals on a bus headed out to eat at Don Pablos with the Spanish club. Later, while eating cheesy Tex-Mex goodness, other girls they know will get virgin daiquiris and virgin margaritas, and those girls will claim that the waiter must not have made the drinks virgin. Then those girls will act drunk even though it was just one stupid drink, and there's no way they had any alcohol in them anyway. Jumping ahead, these two - shall I say - kick-ass gals will giggle and spew gentle ridicule about that silliness a couple times over the next 15 years.
Back on the bus headed to Don Pablos, these two incredibly funny and interesting teens were bull-shitting as was their norm, when the topic turned to what might occur while being super bitchy and disinterested in the bedroom. That led to comic pantomiming wherein a woman lackadaisically files her nails and looks exceedingly bored whilst engaging (or better yet - being engaged upon) in sex acts; dispassionately saying things like, "I thought you were gonna go get me some ice cream," or "Oh, I didn't know you were still here." As the future unfolded, this proved to be a long-standing joke that was touched upon often in many a conversation.
The twists and turns that led to this line of discussion are forever lost to history. However, what resulted is forever captured in the movie Science, Sex, and the Ladies. That's right. One of those amazing young women from this story is in fact me. The other gal I will call SHP (for Super Hot Person) because I don't know if she wants me to use her name on this crazy ol' blog of mine.
Anyway the point of this story is that there is a scene in the middle of Science, Sex and the Ladies in which a woman does actually file her nails while doing it. She's written more bored and frustrated as opposed to our styling of snotty and indifferent, but her actions are absolutely inspired by that bus seat conversation. Now you know.
|Brad Pitt - Keepin' it tight for the ladies|
Do you know what you're doing? Do you understand that every time you say, "He's too pretty," you are simultaneously discouraging men from trying to look good and telling them that we actually want them to look like crap. I know. I know. Women just want them to look like men, right - they can still look good, right?
I don't buy that crap. Regardless of what a particular lady means when she says something like that, those types of statements in general insinuate that the very act of caring what one looks like is somehow un-masculine. A real man is natural. They don't try too hard. They don't worry about wearing clothes that fit their body well. They shouldn't even worry too much about keeping a tight body - real men eat whatever they want, right? They shouldn't take time to make sure they have a stylish haircut, glasses, clothes, and shoes. They shouldn't try to look attractive.
So women are supposed to like men in the natural form, but men are supposed to like something a touch more high-maintenance than a "natural woman." When we say a woman should look like a woman, we don't mean that she should have hairy armpits, wild eyebrows, a touch of a feathery mustache, big drooping boobs, sans make-up'd face, all while hiding her well-worn maternal body under a big non-form fitting dress. For real - that is all part of the natural female, but that ain't what "being like a woman" is. No sir - we mean that she should have a high lifting bra, a cute haircut, at least a touch of enhancing make-up, a shaven and plucked body, and clothes that fit attractively around her waist, hips, and bust. To say it simply, she should try to look attractive.
Now, I'm of the mind that a little decorative sprucing up is good. I think it's human nature to want to take time to look good for the people we desire. That sprucing up is what helps the people we desire, desire us back. I just don't think it should be categorized as unmanly or feminine. So, do I want a man that spends 2 hours getting ready in the morning, who's absolutely obsessed with his looks? No, but I don't even want a gal friend like that. It's a ridiculous way to be, but equating that kind of behavior to a man that simply takes the time to make his hair look nice, smells good, and wears smart looking, nicely fitted clothes, is also ridiculous.
I want to say this in no uncertain terms. I am attracted to men who put a little effort into their looks when they go out. Why? Because unless you're Brad Pit or Mila Kunis, you look hotter if you put some effort in (and to be honest that's actually a big reason they are so unreasonably hot). There's no shame in that game.
Why is it so crazy for a man to admit to primping a bit and for a woman to admit that she likes to see the results. You know the saying about women liking men in uniform? I think what women really like is that usually men in uniform are fit, well groomed men who are wearing nice clothing tailored to their body. They look...well, like they care. Plus, we can see the outline of their bodies. We ladies like to see that kind of thing too.
I'm just saying, I think women really do think a guy who tries is sexy. We just don't feel comfortable admitting it, and I think guys really do want to be sexy. They just feel awkward making the attempt, and women are often the ones making it seem like the attempt's not worth their effort. For the love of god ladies, please don't stifle men's interest in being sexy. For once I'd like to go out to a store, or a bar, or really just even to work and see the ratio of attractive men come close to the ratio of attractive women. We can do it ladies, just be bold and express your desires!
I want to just clear something up. I'm bored and annoyed with hearing about the psychological, hormonal, and emotional aspects of orgasm problems women face. Frankly, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that there can be psychological, hormonal, and emotional aspects of orgasm problems (for men and women). I just think they are secondary to a larger very basic problem that women face when it comes to orgasm.
That problem is that women simply don't fully understand the physical aspects of their orgasm. Almost every aspect of our culture misrepresents the physical stimulation needed for a woman to orgasm. From the depictions and discussions we are exposed to through TV, movies, book, and pop lore, it seems that the basic act of intercourse is sufficient for orgasm. Although we may be made aware that clitoral stimulation is important to female pleasure - it is at best discussed as something most women need to orgasm (leaving us with the assumption that there is a better more sexual female minority out there to compare ourselves to who are living the dream and just orgasming from getting screwed). At worst clitoral stimulation is discussed as merely another way to arouse (as if clitoral stimulation is just a form of foreplay - equal to kissing the neck or rubbing the breasts).
Let me be clear. Clitoral stimulation, however direct or indirect it may be, is what causes orgasm in women in the same way that penile stimulation causes orgasm in men. This point is simply not clear to most people, and it should be very very clear. In my mind, that should be the first thing that is brought up when shows or well known magazines have a special about women who can't orgasm or who feel they don't orgasm easily enough. It never is though. Clitoral stimulation is only ever discussed in the ways I pointed out earlier.
So, every time I hear someone advise a frustrated woman that she may have a hormonal imbalance, that she doesn't have enough testosterone, that she may not be with the right guy or that she needs to be in a more committed relationship, that she hasn't opened herself up fully to her feelings, or that she's too obsessed with the need to orgasm (which they tell her women are simply less equip to do) or any other psychological, hormonal, or emotional crap, I want to say, "maybe you should ask her if she's tried to stimulate her clit, you sexpert assholes." I mean honestly, it's like living in a world where normal "sex" involves men rubbing the base of their penis in circles on women's clits until women come, and then when men complain that they have a hard time orgasming, we tell them that they are simply not relaxing enough, or they might need to take testosterone supplements, or don't worry about it - men are just not built to come as easily as women are. It's so f###ing stupid. Just thought I'd give you a bit of a rant to start your work week off right!
|Betty Dodson (right) and her website business partner Carlin Ross|
Well, I started off with an insanely long winded question for Betty. Why? Well, because the thing I’m asking isn’t really out there in the literature, and I really want opinions about that subject from people who have any kind of knowledge. I got a chance to ask, so I did…in the longest interview question you’ll ever read.
Me: My assumption, from my own experience, from friends' experiences, and from things I've read, is that female ejaculation doesn't feel that great - certainly not compared to an orgasm. To be more specific, I'm talking about ejaculation, caused by g-spot stimulation, that is not happening simultaneously with an orgasm that is caused by additional clitoral/vulva stimulation. You have had, witnessed, and discussed many sexual experiences over the years, so what are your thoughts on my statement above?
*I'm interested for 2 reasons. a. I think there is a cultural idea that ejaculating or "squirting" is a sign of a high level of sexual pleasure and that G-spot stimulation is seen as the source of intense uber-orgasmic pleasure. b. I think women deserve a reasonable sense, from our media and sex advice, about how useful it is to pursue ejaculation or "squirting." I certainly have my hunches about how to speak about this. However, I feel somewhat uncomfortable speaking strongly about this…because there is very little research on ejaculations; because it is a hard thing to gauge how a physical reaction "feels" to other people; and because I feel like the terms "ejaculation," "orgasm," and "pleasure" all get used interchangeably even though they are not the same things.
BAD: We all have a right to express our opinions. My sense of all this comes from sophisticated women who know a lot about sex, especially their own likes and dislikes. You are right about good research being sorely missing. Women have been clear about ejaculation being more for their partners than for them. Female orgasms are such a mystery to men (as well as too many women) and when they see something coming out while they strum away inside makes them feel so GOOD! It's proof they made her come. And that's a project for many men to prove their sexual skills and make her cum. That disgusting "15 Ways to Make Your GF Cum" article makes me want to puke. But it's still our number ONE clicked on topic.
In another correspondence, she added this.
BAD: I'm beginning to think that squirting happens to only a handful of us. While it feels good, it is NOT the same as having an orgasm. That much is clear! However, so many men love it because they can believe they made her come (a national obsession with most men) that it's gonna be with us indefinitely. My current stance is yes, squirting is a fact of life for some but not many. It's fluid coming from our prostate-like glands in the urethral sponge and bladder but it's NOT female ejaculate nor is it an orgasm.
Me: Could you comment a bit about how far we have gone and also how far we have not gone since the sexual revolution when it comes to women's sexuality. Particularly, what are the most important areas that we need to work on and where are we, as a culture, getting it right?
BAD: I always want to shed a tear when I'm asked this question. We have gone backwards not forward since the sexual revolution. Imagine! We are still debating the right of women to have abortions and birth control. The GOP crazies have made the 50's look quite charming. No sex information is better than all the garbage they are spewing out these days.
Me: You talk a bit on your site about how grown women who first began exploring masturbation and orgasm as adults have a different road to travel when it comes to reaching orgasm (with or without a partner) than men and other women who have masturbated since they were young. Why do you think this is, and what are some of the differences between the experiences of these two groups?
BAD: Childhood masturbation is when we begin to connect the good feelings in our genital to the pleasure center in our brains. It's no different than any of the other developmental skills we gradually master like speech and learning what we like and dislike.
Me: It seems as though you often get letters from women thinking that how they currently orgasm is not enough or not correct and they want to learn to orgasm in another way with their partner. Why do think women so often feel this way?
BAD: I believe this is the curse of too much porn, and not enough good sex education that includes teaching sexual skills. The vaginal orgasm still reigns supreme I'm sorry to say. However, women are slowly finding their clits and their voices will follow.
I’d like to make it clear that Betty has no problem with depictions of sex – movies, pictures, whatever. It’s the quality she has the problem with. I’ll let her explain that a little more with an answer she gave me later to a now irrelevant and long-winded question I asked her.
BAD: It's (porn’s) here to stay, and my main complaint is it's NOT GOOD SEX ED. It's basically entertainment for men, and these young boys growing up on it think women like to have ejaculate all over their faces. That stuff can taste and smell nasty. When I ask them if they have ever had a load dumped on them they gag and say, "No Way!" You need to read my sexual memoir available in print or an e-book.
I took Betty’s advice here and read her memoir. It’s called My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir, I really loved it, and I recommended it to a friend who is in the process of loving it right now. Betty says it out. She is honest, unabashed, funny, interesting, and very sincere and human (it also did answer my questions about how she traversed and feels about the 2nd wave feminist porn wars – which is why she suggested I read it in the first place). I very much recommend it, but remember what I discussed in the last blog. Betty has probably been into some things that you might not be about, but so the hell what – who reads a book to hear about crap they already understand, anyway? I say check it out (I mean for real - you can download it on her site for $1.99, if that tips the scales at all).
I also asked her a little follow-up question after I read it.
Me: In your memoirs, you talk about having what you called vaginal orgasms in your 20's. This was a time before you began stimulating your own clit during partner sex and while you were still infatuated by the Prince Charming and monogamous love fairy tale. Orgasms with men were, shall we say, not easy to come by. You wrote…
In order for me to have an orgasm from intercourse, there were a lot of requirements: he had to be handsome, intelligent, and have a good sense of humor. It was equally important that he was a good kisser and had a penis that stayed hard for at least thirty minutes or more. It was best if I got on top. In the fifties, any woman who wanted to be on top was called a “ball buster”, so I always asked permission first. Finally this near perfect man had to promise to only have sex with me, so it was no easy task to find someone who could fill all of those requirements.
Looking back, what do you think was actually physically happening to you to give you these rare orgasms?
BAD: Those early vaginal orgasms for me were always the result of indirect clitoral stimulation. That's why getting on top was so important. That way I could control my movements as I pressed my clit into his body. Even then, too often a lover would still try to control my movements from the bottom. It was always a struggle, never easy. Once I combined direct clit stim with vaginal penetration, I never again had a problem.
Thanks for reading my Betty Dodson series! Check out #1 and #2 and the Saturday Dodson Erotic Art Special if you missed them. Enjoy, and I would like to thank Ms. Betty A. Dodson (Ms. BAD if you’re nasty) for not only talking with me, but also for trying to change the world one orgasm at a time!
I got in touch with Betty Dodson this past December, writing back and forth a few times.
She agreed to an interview, which happened about a month ago - and so here we are. That short email interview, plus some of my own small research into her life has spawned a short Betty Dodson Blog Series. Here is the second installment.
I hope it was pretty clear from the 1st installment of this series that I have full on respect for Betty Dodson. If you read my blog, you know that I am particularly seeking out people to interview who I see as working towards the principles that Science Sex and the Ladies holds dear. I decided to do a series, and not just one blog post, about Dodson because I see her as a long time warrior in the fight to get women the kind cultural access to their orgasms that men take for granted.
Keeping all that in mind, in this post I want to switch it up a bit and focus on the nitty gritty, the odd, the uncomfortable, and the off-putting aspects of Ms. Betty Dodson. Let's just start with this...her initials are BAD, and for this post, I will refer to her as BAD - because they are awesome initials and because it just seems appropriate here.
Now let's get down to it. I'll just ask what you may be asking in your head right now. "Isn't she some kind of orgy-loving, hedonist, lesbian, hippie that I should disregard because she's so weird?" No...well, yes. What I mean is that all those words used to describe her are not so off-base, but you are a fool if you disregard her or her message because of it. Does BAD love an orgy? You bet your sweet ass she does. She has been to and thrown many. She has seen and experienced more sexual encounters, more orgasms, more oral sex, more masturbation, more handies, more kink, more good sex, more bad sex, more disappointing sex, more breakthrough moments, more gay, straight, and bi sex, and frankly just more real, very human, very vulnerable encounters than any of the acclaimed and accredited sexperts from tv, magazines, or websites could dream of.
I might mention that as much of that as she has experienced, she has heard even more of that stuff through friends, strangers, and the lovely people in her Bodysex classes. She has a lot to offer - in large part because of her considerable experiences. Plus, on a side note, I would like to point out that her orgies always encouraged masturbation, were always equip with tons of high-powered vibrators, lots of lube, and extra single men. Now, that's a feminist orgy, people.
Would I call her a hedonist? No, I wouldn't, because that's not a word I use often, but BAD would call herself one. Of the time when she began experimenting with threesomes and moresomes in her 30's, she said the following in her memoirs.
I wanted to bring all my friends along on the trip of the century. But not everyone wanted to join me on the Hedonist Express, cruising at 100 MPH into the future of sexual love and abundance. Originally, I thought a “hedonist” was a crazy person who was sexually driven and out of control. But now the word had taken on its true meaning. Philosophical hedonism saw pleasure as the ultimate good, and psychological hedonism proposed that pleasure actually motivated human actions. The only thing desirable, in and of itself, was a pleasant state of mind. The only undesirable thing was an unpleasant state of mind. The hedonist position didn’t just mean physical sex only. It also included the pursuit of knowledge as well as creative projects. They were also desirable since these activities also provided intellectual pleasure and satisfaction. Many distinguished philosophers such as Epicures, Locke, Hobbes, Hume, etc. held this view, so I was happy to know I was in good company— especially when old friends passed moral judgments on my new lifestyle.
She tries things. She specifically works through her fears, inhibitions, and guilt...and she tries things. How can you be mad at that.
Is she a Lesbian? First off, I'm not sure why that's so bad, but it is a word that is often used as an attempt to marginalize a woman who is doing something feminist. So, for your information, BAD's been with all kinds of people, but really I should just let her and her current business partner Carlin tell you more about her status as a lesbian.
Now, is Betty Dodson a hippie? Sure. She been into yoga and natural food and commune living and even the ol' wacky weed. She's also been into spiritual goddessy shit that I'm personally not too keen on, but whatever. She's also kinda conservative mainstream in ways too. She's from the heartland, a non-drinker, and she'd fight ya if she had to.
Hippie is another word people use to marginalize. But, I'll tell ya what - we all have a little hippie in us somewhere - EVERYONE - even the square-est dude you know. None of us fit the mold of "supposed to," and I don't see anything wrong with that. Calling people hippies, or hedonists, or feminazis, or conservative nut-jobs or any other over arching label is an easy way to disregard everything about someone just because you feel uncomfortable about something that they say or do. It closes us off to learning from each other. I really want to drive home that point because I feel like that has happened too often to Betty Dodson. The biggest shame is that her truly important, progressive, revolutionary ideas about liberating masturbation and increasing female access to orgasm were discounted in the mainstream feminist community because, well, because she was too outside the norm. Betty was a hedonist, orgy-loving, heterosexual-bisexual-lesbian, that used the word cunt when talking about vulvas. She wasn't what mainstream America thought she was supposed to be, but she wasn't what mainstream feminism thought she should be either. Unfortunately, her hedonist voice never gained the support of powerful feminists or mainstream media during the height of the 2nd wave. If it had, and if more had just considered her absolutely spot-on ideas about masturbation and female orgasm, maybe women could have made the kinds of strides in sexuality that we made in things like workplace rights.
Anyway, what I'm saying is that BAD is probably into or has been into some things that you find ridiculous, or weird, or distasteful, but don't let that sway you from listening anyway. She is saying things about females and sex that need to be said, and she is one of very few people - none of whom are very famous - who's saying these things.
We're smack dab in the middle of my Betty Dodson series here on this blog. The first installment went up Thursday, and the next will be up Monday, but I'm trying to put up something fun for you all on most Saturdays now too. So, I thought - why not just post up some of Betty Dodson's art? She has a gallery on her site DodsonandRoss.com, so I just picked out some of the ones that I enjoyed. They span from the 60's to the early 2000's.
First...the dudes. I love a male nude.
|Male Nude. 1967. http://dodsonandross.com/fineart/male-nude|
|Reclining Male Nude. 1969. http://dodsonandross.com/fineart/nude-portrait-romy|
|Brando & Bernando. 1973. http://dodsonandross.com/fineart/brando-bernando-3|
This next one is one of her illustrations from her book Sex For One: The Joy of Self Loving. What's better than 1 hot dude? 2 hot dudes of course! Holla if ya feel me ladies!
I got in touch with Betty Dodson this past December, writing back and forth a few times.
She agreed to an interview, which happened about a month ago - and so here we are. That short email interview, plus some of my own small research into her life has spawned a short Betty Dodson Blog Series. Here is the first installment.
"But what about vulvas, though? Does she even care?" Really? Are you kidding me? Betty draws the hell out of vulvas. She loves 'em. She produced and presented a feminist slide show of vulvas for the 1973 NOW Conference to let ladies know that their junk is not abnormal or malformed. She showed that they all just look really different. (Honestly, crazy fold-y, crumple-y, hangy down bits are all just part of the having a vulva thing- unless you don't happen to have much of that. That happens too.) She pretty much invented the feminist cause of checking your own lady parts in a hand mirror. Please - she's been building up ladies' confidence in their own naughty bits for over 40 years. Death to genital shame, ladies!
"Uh, yeah, but she hasn't done much for masturbation, I don't think." OMG, pretend naysayer! She is like the Gandhi of advocating masturbation. She created Bodysex Workshops in the 70's where she would lead small groups of women in overcoming genital shame and in masturbating to orgasm, and she lovingly ran these groups for over 25 years. (Watch the video below. It's for a Kickstarter fundraising campaign that's now over, but it explains Bodysex Workshops well.)
She penned an article in the August 1974 issue of Ms. Magazine called "Getting to Know Me," that sorta brought the, I would say wildly progressive and revolutionary, act of female masturbation out as a topic for feminists to care about. From the mucho love she received from readers, she was motivated to finish a book on the subject, and self-published, Liberating Masturbation, a frickin' feminist classic later that year. It eventually morphed into the not self published book, Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving in the mid 80's. To this day, at 83 years old, she's still fighting the good fight to liberate masturbation. (Which unfortunately is still not quite out of the cage - just ask Jocelyn Elders, Pee Wee Herman, ans our current sex education standards).
She teamed up with Carlin Ross in the late 2000's to start up a really fantastic website http://dodsonandross.com/ with the kinds of realistic, female based sexual information that my movie supports. Honestly, if anyone were to ask me where I would recommend them to go on the web for sex advice or information - it would be there. There are other sites out on the web that are pretty good, with nice feminist leanings, but they never go all the way and really boldly support the clit first, masturbation heavy kind of push that is needed if female sexual culture is ever going to move forward.
That's all you get for today. I'll be back Monday with more (and maybe Saturday with something fun).
Last Monday I had a tribute to the ladies and all the fantastic masturbation we do, but I don't want to exclude the gentlemen. This is a pro masturbation blog, not just a pro female masturbation blog. So, today I'm celebrating the boys. Enjoy.
To guys stroking it face down, holding themselves up over the underwear section of department store catalogs; humping pillows quietly and gently so parents don't hear; quick jacking it into toilets; employing condoms in preparation for real life encounters; enjoying solo, soapy shower sessions; ramming hips toward slippery fists oiled with whatever household lubricants could be found; rubbing disheartened wangs next to uninterested slumbering partners; using flexible bodies to join penises and mouths; pumping into homemade towel, Saran wrap, and vegetable oil devices; drowsily relieving morning wood laying face up naked in bed; mindlessly passing the time on a boring afternoon, excitedly pounding it out in the employee bathroom; gently teasing out orgasms to thoughts of last encounters with lovers; slow stroking to internet porn with towels separating naked asses from computer chairs; quick lotion and toilet paper yanks in the middle of the night; standing up buck naked with biceps flexed and abs tight, pounding meat in front of full length mirrors, jerking full force in cars about 80 miles from the destination; and all the other ways you boys enjoy yourselves by yourselves. Keep on keeping on.