Orgasm Inequality Ain't Due To Lady-parts Being Weird

Someone posted a link to this article called 12 Reasons Why There's Orgasm Inequality (And No, It's Not That Women Are 'Harder To Please'), and I said Hallelujah, Sister Suzannah Weiss! Speak that truth, speak that damn truth! The female orgasm is not a mystery.

So, if you read my blog, you know that I believe deep, deep in my soul that there is a New Sexual Revolution on its way, and you know I think it has to be based in Orgasm Equality. You also know I've been collecting articles and people and things out there that seem to reflect the stirrings of this revolution. I call it the Orgasm Equality Allies List, and Suzannah Weiss and her on-point article were immediately added to that, because she laid it the hell down, and I love it.

Honestly, her message as a whole was simple. Women are orgasming less than men not because females are biologically less capable of orgasm, but because our sexual culture is toxic to the female orgasm. She goes on to point out some of the ways our culture inhibits lady-gasms, but that's the basics. The thing is, it is actually a quite simple concept, but that toxic sexual culture is so deeply ingrained in us as people it's hard to see it clearly, and it makes the discussion incredibly complicated. In fact it's so complicated and so ingrained that it's kinda hard to speak about because you first need to convince people that a problem even exists to begin with. She does a fantastic job, though, and tackles some of the really important sticking points of this topic quite well.

It's a fantastic, poignant, brave article, and I highly recommend you check it out. Here's a quick couple of my fave things about it.

1 She has none of the orgasm-isn't-the only-important-part-of-sex talking point that often get brought up in these conversations and ends up dumping a big cold bucket of water on any interesting discussion about women's right for orgasmic sex with a simple, to the point line.
"Orgasm doesn’t have to be the focus of sex, but if a woman wants one, she should have as much of a right to request it as anyone else does."
2 She points out the many-faced issues that pop up with 1-1 interactions that keep orgasm inequality strong.

The lack of interest from (some although not all) men in trying to get a woman to orgasm, the pressure women feel to make sure men orgasm, the privilege men feel about their right to orgasm, and the ingrained insecurities women feel about their own capability for and right to orgasm. It's a hot mix of trouble, I tell ya, and she touches on all of it.

3 She also acknowledges how incredibly tricky and persistent this whole thing:
"Orgasm inequity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When men believe women’s bodies are an impossible puzzle, they don’t try to solve it. Neither do women who are taught their own pleasure is inaccessible."

Seriously, when I read great stuff like this, it excites the hell out of me, and I feel like I'm seeing more and more stuff like this. One, it tells me that I'm not that crazy - because although I know this really is an issue and an important one, sometimes it gets to feeling like it's too big and too few people are willing to see it. So, it feels awesome to be reminded that there are women all over who are feeling this inequity and are able to verbalize what they are feeling. Two - I just love that there is one more thing out there in the world that is realistic and thoughtful on this topic to counteract the silly, inaccurate bullshit that makes up the vast majority of writing on female sexuality.

Keep grinding away, Suzannah Weiss - You're doing the good work!


What Does Dr. Phil Say about Female Orgasm???? I Knew You'd Want to Know.

I thought some of you might be wondering what the world's most well-known living psychologist has to say about the female orgasm. So, because I care, I googled "dr. phil female orgasm," and immediately found his female orgasm page. It kinda sucks, but it's also kinda not the most craziest or outta wack advice. It's pretty close to what a lot of others are saying, but I will say it has a bit more emphasis than usual on the 'your lack of orgasm is definitely a personal problem' situation, which is fairly annoying. I'll let him talk, though.

Research shows that 90 percent of the problems women have in achieving orgasm stem from a psychological nature. That's good news because it's all about you and it can be overcome. Dr. Phil offers the following advice:
  • If you can achieve an orgasm alone, but not with a partner, you may have performance anxiety.
  • Being anxious, worried or feeling pressured to have an orgasm with your partner can work against you. Anxiety is an arousal response — it can cause tension. An orgasm is a relaxation response. Those two are incompatible.
  • If you're wondering, "Am I doing this right? Is he judging me? Is he having fun? Does he like this?" during intercourse, the anxiety can take you away from your pleasure.
  • Give yourself permission to change your internal dialogue. Say, "You know what? I am part of this exchange and I do have the right to ask for what I want. And I don't have to have expectancies that I have to perform in some way. I'm going to enjoy this." Give yourself permission to relax and go with the flow.

Okay, so let me just make a couple quick points:
  • Wouldn't put money on the '90% of women's orgasm problems are psychological' thing. There's no citations here, and I'm just gonna be frank - it really doesn't make much sense.
  • It's bullshit to jump straight to personal psychological issues. Women as a whole engage in an unfortunately ridiculous amount of sexual interactions that in no way involve stimulating their main organ of sexual pleasure - the clit. It's a reality that would seem simply preposterous if it were switched. Men having as many sexual acts that don't involve their penis as women do that don't involve their clit is unheard of. Given that there is clearly a widespread and under-discussed problem associated with not stimulating the appropriate genital areas, maybe that should be the most prominently considered thing on websites about helping women achieve orgasm.
  • Still, there is an important psychological element that needs to be considered, but I would argue a huge component of that stems from the above problem about too much sex with too little clit lovin'. Women do engage in a lot of sex throughout their lives that doesn't involve orgasm, so it is not crazy to think that female bodies learn to become aroused during sexual interactions with much more trepidation than male bodies. I mean if your body and mind only associate the beginning parts of sex with an eventual orgasm 70%, 50%, 30% of time or less, then the mind and body might start associating sex with a chore instead of something that is sexually arousing. Where there is no arousal, there is no orgasm, so psychologically training yourself to start associating sex with sexual arousal again could be important, but let's be clear here - that would include beginning to have physically more arousing sex on a more every-single-time kinda basis than was being had before, so the physical element is still quite important. 
  • I agree that anxiety takes away from pleasure. In particular, anxiety can inhibit the physical process of sexual arousal, and since the orgasm is a release of the muscle tension and blood pooling brought on by arousal, then no arousal, no orgasm. Also, his second statement about anxiety, arousal, orgasm and relaxation uses those words in really confusing ways. Although I think I understand what was meant by it, and it seems fine, I would just ignore that one. 
  • I completely agree that giving one's self permission to enjoy sex, to really be part of the activities, and to ask for what one wants is super important. I also love the idea that one should rid themselves of expectancies  about performing a certain way. Love it. However, I really think all of that advice turns into useless shit if there is not proper understanding among both people about how women orgasm and about how huge of a wall our culture has created blocking that understanding.
  • I'd say that first one this way.  If you can achieve an orgasm alone, but not with a partner, it's probably because you are rubbing your clitoral/vuvla area when you masturbate and getting your vagina boned when you have sex. 

Dr. Phil's statements are followed by information from a few other sources, and actually there's a bit more talk about the importance of the clit there. However, as with pretty much all sex advice, taken all together it seems like the clit is just an extra thing that the unlucky among us must utilize to get the orgasms we should be getting from our vag's - and that's bullshit.


5 Post-1940's Period Pieces #DirectedByWomen !!!!

I started doing this categorized List of 5 movies thing where I showcase movies that were directed by women and that I have actually seen. It all started during the Directed By Women Worldwide Viewing Party in September, and it was pretty fun, so I've continued doing it from time to time.

It's a bit off-topic from my normal fare, ya know, not usually about lady-gasms or anything like that, but I think it fits the blog because
1. this blog is also about indie movie-making, and
2. this blog is partially about getting the female perspective of sexuality into our media. So, to me, supporting female voices in our media - means we're creating more room for female voices to speak on all types of things, which sometimes will be sex, orgasms and sexuality. You can find all my 5-movie lists HERE.

So...this is my Post-1940's Period Piece List - for if you like seeing women in skirts, but not like necessarily full length skirts. Enjoy these on the downtime of your Winter Break.

1 Selma - This was directed by Ava DuVernay. This is a fabulous movie. If you haven't seen it, you should get to it.

2 The Notorious Bettie Page - This was directed by Mary Harron. Ever been to a bar that, for no apparent reason at all really, had old films with pin-up style models getting tied up and stuff like that playing on the TVs. I have, and at least one of those women was probably Bettie Page.

3 Eve's Bayou - This was directed by Kasi Lemmons. I can't remember the specifics of this - I saw it over 15 years ago, but I remember liking it a lot, and I remember the feeling of the Bayou setting, kind of dark and lush and mysterious and hot.

4 Across the Universe - This was directed by Julie Taymor. I actually saw this movie because Charlie and I were teaching a college class about movies, and the students all picked one to do a final paper on. A lovely gal named Lindsey chose this one, and obviously we have to watch them all to grade them there papers.

5 Talk To Me - This one is directed by Kasi Lemmons also. I'm doubling up on her for this list. This is a great movie that should have received even more praise and attention than it did. You may have missed it back in 2007, but check it now for sure.


Lady-bation is Downright Peachy Keen

Hello! Ms. Gilly Langley held true to her top-notch promoting and connecting powers and introduced me to an AB FAB post about female orgasm. It's simply called, Can we talk about female orgasm. please? and it's at a site called Peachy Keen.

It's fan-fucking-tastic. Let me count the ways.

10  It acknowledges that lots of women have no flippin' clue how to get themselves off, but it doesn't shame or blame us ladies for this seemingly grand ignorance. Instead it rightly looks toward larger aspects of our sexual culture.

9 It points out that movies give dudes a pretty good idea about how to actually masturbate (ya know, hand actions, lube, noises, etc.) and just plain doesn't for gals.

8 It appreciates porn, but knows that porn, bless its little male heart, does not help anyone learn how an actual female orgasm might happen.

7 It brought up the whole, sticking-fingers-up-your-lady-junk-is-supposed-to-make-you-come fallacy that permeates our collective sexual consciousness much too strongly, and lets us know that this fallacy can, sadly, deter ladies from masturbating.

6 It brings up the following food for thought about ladies using their own hands to masturbate.
 ...(Correct me if I’m wrong) I think most of us would rather own up to having used a vibrator or a sex toy to climax than our own fingers. Are we ashamed of our own ability to get ourselves off? We shouldn’t be, it’s like a mini victory every time I do. I have to stop myself from putting my t-shirt over my head and doing a circuit of the bedroom. So why are we happier to admit that a toy helped us get off than an essential part of our own bodies? 
Which is super cool because Peachy Keen is a site that sells sex toys

5 ...but it's not, like, hating on vibrators or anything either.
I’m going to blame/praise Sex and the City and the rise of the Rampant Rabbit for that one. Don’t get me wrong, if females are having orgasms and masturbating when before they couldn’t then that’s amazing!!! But let’s not neglect the importance and everyday popularity of masturbation without toys.
4  And it really just lets us know that however we get the job done, is fine - no worries.
Just know that if you use your fingers to give yourself an orgasm and you’re not sure if you’re normal or not, you are. If you don’t do this but want to then give it a go. It might not happen the first time, or the tenth time but practise makes perfect. 
If you do it with a toy or a different way like a duvet or a stuffed toy or whatever then that’s fine and normal too. Trust me. 
Just remember that it’s a pretty useful skill to have or fall back on so that you can direct your partner to what you like or make it through uni. 
3 It gives great praise and recommendation for @OhJoySexToy, a really lovely comic series that I've been wanting to blog about for a while. I love seeing cool people hype each other, and I love that the particular comic  (http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/masturbate/) it recommends is about explaining to women how to masturbate - cause as Peachy Keen clearly understands, we NEED more of that.

2 It makes a call for action that is simple yet incredibly important to the ol' Orgasm Equality Revolution:
So ultimately, if you feel comfortable doing so, I would highly recommend talking to your girl mates about masturbation. Use wine. You will have some awesome and some awkward conversations. It will reassure you and perhaps educate.
1 It's just so F'in revolutionary and on-point from top to bottom. Magniiiiifico!

Anyway, this site - Peachy Keen - seems pretty cool. They are a sex toy site essentially, but they have a good philosophy and so forth (read more HERE). Unfortunately, they only currently deliver to the UK, but check them out anyway - they have recommendations. Anybody promoting female orgasm and masturbation in such bad-ass ways are okay with me - in fact they are so okay that I will put them right smack dab on the Orgasm Equality Allies List.


Masters and Johnson Research Footage at The Kinsey Institute

This is my second in the WHAT I FOUND AT THE KINSEY INSTITUTE LIBRARY! series. This time I'll be talking about the film made by Masters and Johnson called simply, Female Orgasm (and can I say that this title was in lovely, kinda bubbly font with a bit of a glow - very enjoyable). I'm super excited about this one, because it's a pretty cool piece of history. Close-up detailed films like these were what M&J used to make their observations. They could pause, slow down, and really look at the details of contractions, size changes, color changes and all that. Eventually their team would create technology to film the inside of the vagina during the sexual cycle using a steady clear dildo, and then later that technology would be adjusted so that the dildo could continue to film while moving in and out at the woman's whim (It was mechanical and they called it Ulysses). Anyway, they were always tight about their raw data and later in her life Johnson is said to have destroyed it all, from both their research and their long-running couple's therapy institute. This is just an exhibition film and not really a look at their raw data, but it's as close as one can get at this point, I guess. So, pretty cool, still.

It's no more than 15 minutes, and it basically shows research footage of 1 woman (the woman in the genital parts may be different than the one in the non-genital parts, but I can't be sure, and there are no faces) as her body moves through the sexual response cycle. In between sections of the research footage, there are somewhat long written explanations about what the viewer will see and what part of the response cycle the woman is in.

pretend Virginia Johnson (from Masters of Sex) looking at some research footage 

Now, to say that we watched a film is not right. We watched a DVD that was, just that day, transferred from a VHS tape that had at some point (likely during a time that VHS tapes were popular) transferred from film. So...as is to be expected, let's just say it wasn't the best quality. Particularly the color was terrible, and there was a fair amount of discussion in the movie about color changes that I could maybe barely see.

Okay, so after the title card, was written the following:
"The investigation of the anatomical and physiological changes associated with artificially induced orgasm in the female subject has been undertaken by the department of obstetrics and gynecology of Washington University School of Medicine, St. Louis, Missouri."
With "artificially induced orgasm" meaning masturbation. Kind of an annoying way to put that, but M&J were always very intercourse focused, even when their research showed clearly that women need outer clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and intercourse was a terrible way to get it...but hey, they did good research despite their over zealous interest in intercourse.

The non-genital footage
Anyway, the first part focuses on the breasts, torso, neck and back. A dude narrates during the footage, and I assume it is Masters, but again, I can't really know. The woman is shown sometimes from front, profile or back, and her face is always off camera. It focused a lot on the flush that emerges, but like I said, the coloring of the video didn't allow me to see that very well. I will also point out here that this was a fair white woman and most of M&J research was on white people, so their discussion of skin coloring changes in their book came from that point of view. That lack of darker skinned participants, I would say, was a weakness in their descriptions of the "sex flush" color change situation.

Anyway, I think the coolest thing I saw there was how much her breasts filled out during the arousal process. I probably wouldn't have noticed if it weren't pointed out because it's gradual, but man they really swelled. If I remember correctly from the book, M&J actually found that the swelling of the breasts was more prominent in women who had given birth...or it's the other way around...but it's generally more prominent in one group over the other.

The genital footage
Then the coolest part is at the end where we are looking close-up at the vulva. The clit and the hand that was stimulating it in a circular motion the whole time is out of frame and so is the anus below. The screen is mostly encompassing the vaginal hole, being held open with a speculum. We are eye to eye with the vag looking right into it. I'll be honest, all the pinks and reds of this area were just running together. The picture had become soft over the years and transfers, and it was not easy to see things that were being pointed out. For instance, the vaginal lubrication appearing on the vaginal wall in a "sweat bead" like situation was not really easy to see and the elongation of the vaginal barrel was also hard to see. However, when she came, the rhythmic muscular activity around the outer 1/3 of the vagina was clear as day, and that was pretty cool to see.

Then it ended, and I wish there were more of their research videos in existence, but 'tis not the case.


5 Pre-1950's Period Pieces #DirectedByWomen !!!

I started doing this categorized List of 5 movies thing where I showcase movies that were directed by women and that I have actually seen. It all started during the Directed By Women Worldwide Viewing Party in September, and it was pretty fun, so I've continued doing it from time to time. It's not usually about lady-gasms or anything like that, but I think it fits the blog because 1. this blog is also about indie movie-making, and 2. this blog is partially about getting the female perspective of sexuality into our media. So, to me, supporting female voices in our media - means we're creating more room for female voices to speak on all types of things, which sometimes will be sex, orgasms and sexuality. You can find all my lists HERE.

This is my pre-1950's Period Piece list - for when you want to look at women in long dresses.

1 Suffragette - This was directed by Sarah Gavron. I caught this in the theaters not too long ago, and I really enjoyed it. It's a quite pretty movie, and it has a simplicity to it that I really appreciated.

2 Frida - This was directed by Julie Taymor. I saw this in the theaters back when it came out in '02. Love Frida Kahlo, and loved this movie.

3 Little Women - This was directed by Gillian Armstrong. I'll be honest. I watched this movie instead of reading the book my freshman year in high school. Well, I think I read some of the book, but then I just stopped. I probably had to make a diorama or something stupid like that for the related project so it didn't really matter if I read the book or not - and I prefer movies.

4 The Piano - This was directed by Jane Campion. Let me be honest about this one too. I haven't seen it all the way through. Back in 1993 when my parents had rented it, I snuck into the living room late at night and fast forwarded the video tape until I saw the part everyone had been talking about - Harvey Keitel's limp dick. It was not as exciting as my young heart had hoped, but it was a dick, so it was cool enough. since then I have seen more of it, but not all the way through. I vow to watch it all someday.

5 Marie Antoinette - This was directed by Sofia Coppola. This is on my top fave movie list. I know it didn't get good reviews when it came out. Critics gave it a lot of shit, but that's a bunch of bull, and they're wrong. So...that's that (if you need to discuss this further, please do let me know).


Carly Rosenfield is Right to Want Better Sex in Movies, By God!

Man, oh man, Ms. Carly Rosenfield is darn right: We Need Better Sex in Movies. Her article is named, appropriately, just that. She is advocating for more thoughtful, realistic, and responsible depictions of both sex and violence, and she focuses in on the MPAA ratings as big part of what keeps sex and violence depictions so skewed and backward in our movies.

For instance, there can be as much killing as you want in a movie and you can get a PG-13 rating...as long as there's no blood. So basically tons of tidy, easy to watch death in a movie is fine for a 13 year old, but as soon as you add all the messiness and harsh consequences that come with it shooting automatic weapons into a crowd, well then only 17 year olds can see that. It's silly really.

But let's get back to the sex stuff. Her gripe, and as she points out the same gripe in the fabulous documentary This Film is Not Yet Rated, is that things that are not hetero-centric and male pleasure based are often given ridiculously harsher ratings than seems anywhere near sensible given the kinds of ratings other movies get...and getting an NC-17 over an R, is a HUGE deal, actually. Basically people distribute R-rated movies, allow R-rated movies in their theater, and people see R-rated movie. So, because the MPAA influences what types of sex get R and which types of sex get NC-17, it also influences what kinds of sex feel normal (male masturbation, but not so much female masturbation for instance) because that's the kind of sex we mostly see.
"These ratings both reflect and perpetuate the societal trend that, in many cases, males are allowed to be comfortable with, even proud of, their sexuality while females are not." 
"In mainstream movies, this rejection of female sexuality often translates into sex scenes centered around male pleasure, or in which penetration, which for many women does not alone result in an orgasm, is the primary or only activity."
Ms. Rosenfield is on point about this, and she gets even deeper on point and quite boldly Orgasm Equality revolutionized, honest, and bad-aasicle in the following passage.
What concerns me is the way in which these scenes teach young people about sex...People thus establish expectations for themselves and their partners that are unrealistic, which perpetuate both heteronormativity and gender normativity, and which prevent them from being free to explore and learn from each other in ways that are pleasurable to both. As a cis-woman, I cannot and will not presume to know the male experience of these mass media portrayals, but I think that if I were a male who had grown up watching these films and television shows, I would likely believe that the penis going into the vagina equals (heterosexual[1]) sex and not much else matters, and would either feel inadequate if my partner did not derive pleasure from this or not be terribly concerned, because it must be their problem, right? Similarly, as a female, it was not until being in relationships with women and exploring queer culture that I learned that sex could be anything different.
Love this. She's so right about how strongly media depictions can influence our expectations of ourselves and our partners when it comes to how sex should work. Not every lady has moved from male to female partners like she has, but the feeling that there was a time of realizing that "sex could be anything different" is an unfortunately common experience for women, Just think about that for a minute.

She wraps it up pretty nicely. It's super complicated, but awareness and talking about this stuff is a huge first step for change.
So, what can we do? I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s a start though to be aware of the problems of representation in our society, and the fact that these skewed representations are both a cause and an effect in a vicious cycle of stereotypes and shame. Question everything you see, and be aware of the empty spaces in between: what we have been prevented from seeing
I'm adding Ms. Carly Rosenfield to the Orgasm Equality Hero List because I love the thoughtfulness of her writing about what media depictions of sex can mean to our real sex lives, and I love her honesty. This was written a couple years back when, I think, she was still in college, and I think she's off in the world doing other cool things now besides writing on blogs, so I hope she sees this one day and knows she's awesome.


A Super Progressive 1961 Book! Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida Found at the Kinsey Institute

This is my first in the WHAT I FOUND AT THE KINSEY INSTITUTE LIBRARY! series. It's about a book I found there called Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida, and it blew my mind at how before its time it was. I'd never heard of it before, and when I just did a Google search for it, the only entries about it were in the catalog at the National Library of the Czech Republic and in the catalog at Indiana University (where I found it 'cause that's where the Kinsey Institute is).

It has a date of 1961, and it said it had been translated from Japanese, but it didn't really get any more info about the publishing than that. Here's the table of contents.

Notice the "NO WOMAN IS FRIGID" and the "FEMALE MASTURBATION" chapter. Two of my very favorite things. Seriously though, this book was boldly and clearly making the point that women are no less able to orgasm than men and no more in need of psychological over physical stimulation than men. It made no bones about the fact that women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm and that intercourse was not good a good way to get that. It even straight up said that people do sex in a way that's good for dudes, not women.  I didn't read the whole thing. I skimmed relevant chapters, but it still blew the top of my head off.

 It was feminist, progressive, and it's even pretty on point about the physical things involved in orgasm - like discussing muscle spasm in the vagina and anus. It references The Kinsey Report on Female Sexuality quite a bit, and although that book clearly talks about how females masturbate more than was thought and discussed the importance of clitoral stimulation for women, it certainly doesn't put it all together as clearly or speak as boldly as this Japanese book does. It was also a good 5 years before Masters and Johnson released their studies on the physical parts of female sexual response, yet this Japanese book speaks about the muscle spasms of orgasm and the utter necessity of clitoral stimulation in a surprisingly similar way.

Dude, this book is an amazing find. It is saying all the things that still - even to this day - need to be said. It was crazy progressive in its time, and it's still progressive for this time. I can't give you the whole book to read, so I took some pictures of some pages that you can check out below, and here's a few progressive-ass quotes. Enjoy.
"The disillusionment a woman feels in her sexual life, every time her anticipation is frustrated, will sooner or later cause her to regard sex with aversion and although she has no defect in herself she comes to be regarded as frigid". p.16  
"The clitoris is the most sensitive of erogenous zones in a woman and is exclusively concerned with sexual pleasure." p.48 
"Most of the cases of female frigidity are due to the lack or the inadequacy of stimulation of this organ." p. 49 (speaking of the clitoris. of course) 
"For men, sexual intercourse means orgasm, which can be easily and surely attained at every coitus...For women sexual intercourse do not always end in orgasm. In spite of their essential superiority to men in their speed and endurability of response and the intensity of sexual sense, women are traditionally obliged to submit docily to sexual customs established for the most part by men." p.71

The Intro - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 16 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 26 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 48 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 50 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 51 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 52 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961

Page 72 - Female Sexual Response by Hiroshi Yoshida 1961


Gilly Langley - Thanks for All the Orgasm Equlity-ing

Generally, the people I add to the Orgasm Equality Allies List are bloggers and authors and stuff. It's a bias because, ya know,it's easy to read articles and all that - they're just out there on the internet waiting to be read and all. But, there are tons of other people out there doing the good work of orgasm equality. I'm certainly missing TONS of them revolution-making ladies out there having deep, honest orgasm conversations with their friends and speaking up when they hear someone spouts shitty information. I know there's tons of moms and dads out there that are talking about clits and informing their kids about the physical truths of male AND female orgasm. And undoubtedly, there are couples that work to include female pleasure and orgasm more fully in their sexual relationship: women who find the courage to rock the boat, and men who give them the room to do so. There's a lot of Sexual Revolution going on out there in the world, but I'm sadly not able to put most of them on my Orgasm Equality Hero list...because I don't know them, and even if I did, they probably don't actually want to be on my list.

However, what I realized recently, is that I do know someone who is not necessarily writing a blog or anything, but is rocking Orgasm Equality like a goddamn boss - Ms. Gilly Langley!!!

I e-met her close to 2 years ago, I think, and get ready - 'cause this will blow your damn mind - she hosted the First UK screening of Science, Sex and the Ladies, which I was super psyched about. I mean, she was bringing SSL worldwide!

Here's the real thing though. She's a Twitter mama, and she's slinging that social media to intentionally and consistently share the good word on Cliteracy, Orgasm Equality. and lady-gasm rights. AND this, I think, is the most awesome part. She always be tryin' her best to bring people together. Twitter-ducing people to people who might like eachother's work or who are on the same page about something. She's like some amazing magnet or glue or something that brings people together and raised everyone up. I love this lady. Plus, she's kicking ass on all kinds of other activist work, and I can only imagine crushing the family and work things too, 'cause I think that's how she rolls (most of the time at least).

Here's to you Gilly Langley - keep churnin' that revolution!...and welcome to the Orgasm Equality Heroes list!