I watched Girls a few years ago and took notes on the SSL Reviewable scenes, but I just didn't do anything with them. I was kind of overwhelmed about how to do them. I was planning to write about all the SSL scenes for the series in groups by category (instead of by episode or episode group), but I just didn't. Then I got the chance to re-watch the series recently while I was doing other shit, and I was able to refine my descriptions of the scenes in question. It also allowed me to kind of think about the sex and sexuality and orgasms in the series from a wider perspective, which helped me understand a bit better how I'd like to write these SSL Reviews, and I'm starting with the eating out scenes.
What is a SSL Review? - The Basics (skip if you already know)
Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation/cunnilingus and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.
You can see all the SSL TV Reviews
HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews
HERE).
The General Sense of Eating Out In This Series
I'm going for the vibe...the feel...this time in these categories of SSL Reviewable scenes, because I think it's more important for this series than the one scene at a time details I usually do. I started the Girls posts in the old way, but only because Season1 Episode2 scenes struck me as a microcosm of the whole series and I wanted to dig into it a little - if you wanna
check that one out. I also did a
general feel post of the series way back when I first watched it.
The thing I find interesting about this show is that:
1. a lot of young women watched this, and with all the sex in it, it's influential media and thus important, I think.
2. It's got a rawness and strange realness when it comes to bodies and sexual experiences. Granted the experiences depicted are in no way everyone's experience, but they are experiences that exists and that aren't usually dwelled on in this casual way in media....and to be honest, I think there are core elements of these experiences that are a lot more universal that we'd like to admit.
And, 3. Girls as a whole really, and I think intentionally, does well at giving a sense of what sex is like for these characters, these girls, at this time in their lives. It's a truly mixed bag, some loveliness, and bravado, and hope, and confusion, and a whole lot of kinda fucked-up, and I don't think, if you step back and consider sexual culture for women as a whole, it feels that off-base - even though it's pretty intensely messed up at times...and I think that's incredibly interesting and telling.
So, this post focuses on oral sex and how it fits in the lives of the characters based on how it was depicted. I'll give you the overview and then more details about each scene will be below for reference.
Here's my hot take. Cunnilingus is just not that common in their sexual interaction with men. It's WAY, WAY more outnumbered by simply getting fucked with no lady-gasm (but definitely a dude-gasm) associated. That's the 100%, for sure, #1 type of sexual interaction in this show by far. On the contrary licking lady junk is not at all common, and it's sex with a woman - not a man where it tends to happens. In fact, it's depicted often as surprising when a dude does do it.
I'd like to say this is BS and unrealistic, but this doesn't
feel that strange. It's pretty consistent with the idea of the Oral Sex Gap. The data on that largely originated from one study, but the idea that there is way more giving going on than receiving
seemed to resonate with some - particularly in casual sex; and the orgasm gap, which is statistically found in many more than 1 study, also resonates (these articles are pretty good
HERE and
HERE about the issue of consensual, but shitty sex that I think Girls puts in full, unblinking view). Point is, I think pussy eating in this series isn't prominent because as much as we'd like to think otherwise, it seems not to actually be as prevalent as it should be in the single sexual life of liberal, city-dwelling millennials (or any other generation living anywhere and with any political stance, really).
The rundown is this. Marnie gets ate out twice. The first time it's with a boyfriend she's dated for 6 years, but then breaks up with, and they get back together. She's super surprised at how good he is at it. Which, ya know, kinda indicates that in the their long 6 years of relationship, this was not something that was a common and/or super pleasurable part of their sex. Later in the series Marnie is eaten out by a casual, but regular, hook-up guy, and we just see him go down and her face seeming to really enjoy it. This is really the only uncomplicated, hetero cunnilingus scene in the whole series. The other 2 scenes are Jessa and then later Hannah going down on a woman they met at, I guess you could call them both certain types of retreats. They were both one-night stands, really. The final scene was just a dude on a one-night stand telling Shoshanna, "I like to eat pussy too. I know it seems really weird, but I do." She is trying to lose her virginity - which means to her (and unfortunately is also the most standard cultural definition) getting a dick in her vagina, so she's not into it, and there ends up being no pussy eating.
All in all, no character is depicted getting her pussy eaten in a 1 night stand (and many are depicted getting banged). Only 1 character gets any pussy eating at all, and it's only twice. One time in which it's indicated this is uncommon for their 6-year relationship. Half of the pussy eating scenes are lesbian encounters, and the only significant discussion of cunnilingus is a dude saying he likes it and knows it's weird to like it. There is ton of intercourse in this show and all the women characters are shown having it a number of times, so that 3 of the 4 main characters aren't shown getting ate out at all, is a marked absence.
The Vulva Rating
A vulva rating on these Girls scenes are hard. On one hand the lack of actual physical actions that could realistically cause female orgasm is not great. It normalizes the basic hetero sexual script of intercourse and dude-gasm as the main (and often only course) in a sexual encounter. It reinforces these sexual expectations that make the physical act easily orgasmic for penises and barely if at all orgasmic for vulvas and vaginas.
On the other hand, it depicts a sort of gritty, realism in the way sex plays out for these characters, and I have an appreciation for that because telling the truth is always important, and the truth often looks, quite rightly, shitty in this show. On the other other hand, even though the truth is shitty and should be seen, continuing to show hetero sex acts that are not inclusive of realistic female orgasm simply piles on the already large problem of our culture's normalization and expectations of male-gasm-centric sex, and that's not progressive. I can't give a good vulva rating for that even if I do have a strong appreciation for it and an understanding that laying the truth out in the light of day is an important part of creating real change. To get a great vulva rating, I want to see depictions of lady-gasms from sexual acts that one could sensibly assume would physically cause an orgasm in a female...AND I would love for it to feel normalized and contribute to the culture of sexuality as something people could/should expect of a sexual encounter.
So, all that to say this is getting a low vulva rating because of the lack of cunnilingus depicted in hetero relationships, and especially hetero hook-ups, but not the lowest because the truth in these sexual scenes resonate. I will give this 2 vulvas out of 5.
(!)(!)
The Scenes In More Detail
Season 1 Episode 4 - It's weird, though, right?
Shoshanna is about to have a one-night stand with a dude. She's trying to lose her virginity and is trying to get him to have intercourse with her specifically. She, and sadly ya know all of our culture, sees losing her virginity as getting a penis in her vagina, so she's in a hurry to get this done. They are making out and talking about it, and he says, "And I like to eat pussy too. I know it seems really weird, but I do." She seems freaked out by that - maybe because she's weird about sexual things and oral seems more freaky or maybe just because she just wants to lose her virginity and be done. So, she just asks if he wants to have sex. Things happen after that, but there is no cunnilingus or discussion of it again.
Season 2 Episode 10 - Wait!? What did you learn when we were broken up?
Marni and Charlie were dating for 6 year. They broke up, but recently got back together, and the show cuts to a scene of him eating her out. She's on her back, and he's facing her down between her legs - a classic position. She says it feels so good and asks him seriously how he got so good at that and how many women he's been with since they've been apart. By her face and her movements, it clearly is feeling real good to her. He tells he's not going to do this with her and tells her to relax. She obliges and lays back. The scene cuts just after that and before any orgasm, but the insinuation is it's going in that direction.
Season 3 Episode 1 - Rehab treat
Jessa is in rehab, and well, basically she hooks up with this woman. We see Jessa eating her out. The woman laying on her back and Jessa is laying with the face in between her legs, and her legs out towards the bed - again - a pretty classic position. The woman is moaning. It's loud but not too porny, and it's working up to, but not an orgasm yet. It's maybe a bit exaggerated, but I think that's because this is this woman's first lesbian sexual experience, and she's been closeted for her whole life. All in all it seems authentically like it could bring her to orgasm if the scene didn't cut.
Season 4 Episode 3 - Going Down
A casual but regular guy sex partner is eating out Marnie. It's a quick scene, and it's above the waist, but there's certainly a mouth on the vulva, and she's clearly enjoying it and aroused. There is no orgasm by the time the scene ends, but the insinuation is that they are on their way to it.
Season 5 Episode 4 - The hottest oral sex
So, for reasons, Hannah ends up eating a woman out in a sauna. Hannah is not experienced with giving cunnilingus, but this woman clearly seems to be an old-timer at this receiving of it and likely giving too. The lady is very into it and aroused, but Hannah is getting way too hot (literally temperature-wise) and stops. The woman really wants to orgasm, and tries to get Hannah to do it for just like 30 more seconds. She even tries pushing Hannah's head down, but Hannah slips away and gets up. The woman rubs off in about 10 seconds and comes loudly...and then cries.
