Girls Seasons 1-6 SSL Review - The Cunnilingus Scenes

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Girls SSL Review - Cunni-motherF'n-lingus

I watched Girls a few years ago and took notes on the SSL Reviewable scenes, but I just didn't do anything with them. I was kind of overwhelmed about how to do them. I was planning to write about all the SSL scenes for the series in groups by category (instead of by episode or episode group), but I just didn't. Then I got the chance to re-watch the series recently while I was doing other shit, and I was able to refine my descriptions of the scenes in question. It also allowed me to kind of think about the sex and sexuality and orgasms in the series from a wider perspective, which helped me understand a bit better how I'd like to write these SSL Reviews, and I'm starting with the eating out scenes.

What is a SSL Review? - The Basics (skip if you already know)

Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation/cunnilingus and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

The General Sense of Eating Out In This Series

I'm going for the vibe...the feel...this time in these categories of SSL Reviewable scenes, because I think it's more important for this series than the one scene at a time details I usually do. I started the Girls posts in the old way, but only because Season1 Episode2 scenes struck me as a microcosm of the whole series and I wanted to dig into it a little - if you wanna check that one out. I also did a general feel post of the series way back when I first watched it. 

The thing I find interesting about this show is that: 

1. a lot of young women watched this, and with all the sex in it, it's influential media and thus important, I think. 

2. It's got a rawness and strange realness when it comes to bodies and sexual experiences. Granted the experiences depicted are in no way everyone's experience, but they are experiences that exists and that aren't usually dwelled on in this casual way in media....and to be honest, I think there are core elements of these experiences that are a lot more universal that we'd like to admit. 

And, 3. Girls as a whole really, and I think intentionally, does well at giving a sense of what sex is like for these characters, these girls, at this time in their lives. It's a truly mixed bag, some loveliness, and bravado, and hope, and confusion, and a whole lot of kinda fucked-up, and I don't think, if you step back and consider sexual culture for women as a whole, it feels that off-base - even though it's pretty intensely messed up at times...and I think that's incredibly interesting and telling.  

So, this post focuses on oral sex and how it fits in the lives of the characters based on how it was depicted. I'll give you the overview and then more details about each scene will be below for reference.

Here's my hot take. Cunnilingus is just not that common in their sexual interaction with men. It's WAY, WAY more outnumbered by simply getting fucked with no lady-gasm (but definitely a dude-gasm) associated. That's the 100%, for sure, #1 type of sexual interaction in this show by far. On the contrary licking lady junk is not at all common, and it's sex with a woman - not a man where it tends to happens. In fact, it's depicted often as surprising when a dude does do it.  

I'd like to say this is BS and unrealistic, but this doesn't feel that strange. It's pretty consistent with the idea of the Oral Sex Gap. The data on that largely originated from one study, but the idea that there is way more giving going on than receiving seemed to resonate with some - particularly in casual sex; and the orgasm gap, which is statistically found in many more than 1 study, also resonates (these articles are pretty good HERE and HERE about the issue of consensual, but shitty sex that I think Girls puts in full, unblinking view). Point is, I think pussy eating in this series isn't prominent because as much as we'd like to think otherwise, it seems not to actually be as prevalent as it should be in the single sexual life of liberal, city-dwelling millennials (or any other generation living anywhere and with any political stance, really). 

The rundown is this. Marnie gets ate out twice. The first time it's with a boyfriend she's dated for 6 years, but then breaks up with, and they get back together. She's super surprised at how good he is at it. Which, ya know, kinda indicates that in the their long 6 years of relationship, this was not something that was a common and/or super pleasurable part of their sex. Later in the series Marnie is eaten out by a casual, but regular, hook-up guy, and we just see him go down and her face seeming to really enjoy it. This is really the only uncomplicated, hetero cunnilingus scene in the whole series. The other 2 scenes are Jessa and then later Hannah going down on a woman they met at, I guess you could call them both certain types of retreats. They were both one-night stands, really. The final scene was just a dude on a one-night stand telling Shoshanna, "I like to eat pussy too. I know it seems really weird, but I do." She is trying to lose her virginity - which means to her (and unfortunately is also the most standard cultural definition) getting a dick in her vagina, so she's not into it, and there ends up being no pussy eating. 

All in all, no character is depicted getting her pussy eaten in a 1 night stand (and many are depicted getting banged).  Only 1 character gets any pussy eating at all, and it's only twice. One time in which it's indicated this is uncommon for their 6-year relationship. Half of the pussy eating scenes are lesbian encounters, and the only significant discussion of cunnilingus is a dude saying he likes it and knows it's weird to like it. There is ton of intercourse in this show and all the women characters are shown having it a number of times, so that 3 of the 4 main characters aren't shown getting ate out at all, is a marked absence. 

The Vulva Rating

A vulva rating on these Girls scenes are hard. On one hand the lack of actual physical actions that could realistically cause female orgasm is not great. It normalizes the basic hetero sexual script of intercourse and dude-gasm as the main (and often only course) in a sexual encounter. It reinforces these sexual expectations that make the physical act easily orgasmic for penises and barely if at all orgasmic for vulvas and vaginas. 

On the other hand, it depicts a sort of gritty, realism in the way sex plays out for these characters, and I have an appreciation for that because telling the truth is always important, and the truth often looks, quite rightly, shitty in this show. On the other other hand, even though the truth is shitty and should be seen, continuing to show hetero sex acts that are not inclusive of realistic female orgasm simply piles on the already large problem of our culture's normalization and expectations of male-gasm-centric sex, and that's not progressive. I can't give a good vulva rating for that even if I do have a strong appreciation for it and an understanding that laying the truth out in the light of day is an important part of creating real change. To get a great vulva rating, I want to see depictions of lady-gasms from sexual acts that one could sensibly assume would physically cause an orgasm in a female...AND I would love for it to feel normalized and contribute to the culture of sexuality as something people could/should expect of a sexual encounter. 

So, all that to say this is getting a low vulva rating because of the lack of cunnilingus depicted in hetero relationships, and especially hetero hook-ups, but not the lowest because the truth in these sexual scenes resonate. I will give this 2 vulvas out of 5.

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The Scenes In More Detail

Season 1 Episode 4 - It's weird, though, right?

Shoshanna is about to have a one-night stand with a dude. She's trying to lose her virginity and is trying to get him to have intercourse with her specifically. She, and sadly ya know all of our culture, sees losing her virginity as getting a penis in her vagina, so she's in a hurry to get this done. They are making out and talking about it, and he says, "And I like to eat pussy too. I know it seems really weird, but I do." She seems freaked out by that - maybe because she's weird about sexual things and oral seems more freaky or maybe just because she just wants to lose her virginity and be done. So, she just asks if he wants to have sex. Things happen after that, but there is no cunnilingus or discussion of it again.

Season 2 Episode 10 - Wait!? What did you learn when we were broken up?

Marni and Charlie were dating for 6 year. They broke up, but recently got back together, and the show cuts to a scene of him eating her out. She's on her back, and he's facing her down between her legs - a classic position. She says it feels so good and asks him seriously how he got so good at that and how many women he's been with since they've been apart. By her face and her movements, it clearly is feeling real good to her. He tells he's not going to do this with her and tells her to relax. She obliges and lays back. The scene cuts just after that and before any orgasm, but the insinuation is it's going in that direction.

Season 3 Episode 1 - Rehab treat

Jessa is in rehab, and well, basically she hooks up with this woman. We see Jessa eating her out. The woman laying on her back and Jessa is laying with the face in between her legs, and her legs out towards the bed - again - a pretty classic position. The woman is moaning. It's loud but not too porny, and it's working up to, but not an orgasm yet. It's maybe a bit exaggerated, but I think that's because this is this woman's first lesbian sexual experience, and she's been closeted for her whole life. All in all it seems authentically like it could bring her to orgasm if the scene didn't cut.  

Season 4 Episode 3 - Going Down

A casual but regular guy sex partner is eating out Marnie. It's a quick scene, and it's above the waist, but there's certainly a mouth on the vulva, and she's clearly enjoying it and aroused. There is no orgasm by the time the scene ends, but the insinuation is that they are on their way to it.

Season 5 Episode 4 - The hottest oral sex

So, for reasons, Hannah ends up eating a woman out in a sauna. Hannah is not experienced with giving cunnilingus, but this woman clearly seems to be an old-timer at this receiving of it and likely giving too. The lady is very into it and aroused, but Hannah is getting way too hot (literally temperature-wise) and stops. The woman really wants to orgasm, and tries to get Hannah to do it for just like 30 more seconds. She even tries pushing Hannah's head down, but Hannah slips away and gets up. The woman rubs off in about 10 seconds and comes loudly...and then cries.

Girls S1E2 - The SSL Review

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Reviewing Girls

I put up a post about the overview of the entire Girls series in 2017 - 6 years ago. I just reread it, and I liked it. It did present the feel in that show of female sexuality and orgasm pretty well as I remember it  - a mixed bag of old-timey and contemporary notions and experiences with sex; where the women are overly accommodating yet straightforward, invested yet taking things as they come with a lightness and humor, enjoying it yet having a pretty shitty time. It feels very raw and real in a certain way, and I appreciate it, even if I'm not so sure this complicated relationship to sex is particularly thoughtful and intentional. I suspect it's more likely just written from earnest experiences and it comes off this way because real women are existing in this plane and writing from that point of view. You can give it a read. It's a good starter to these Girls SSL Reviews that I'm finally doing. 

My plan is to do these reviews in categories based on the series as a whole. Like, I'll have a post about all the masturbation scenes and then all the scenes where a girl gets fucked and just doesn't come, and then another where a girl gets banged and "orgasms." However, the sex scenes in S1 E2 spoke to me a bit. It feels to me like they need to be discussed together as their own thing because, well basically, I see them as two sides of the same coin. Women not caring about their own desire and orgasm; men not thinking about anyone but themselves.

There are 2 scenes. The first is with Hannah and Adam - not even really dating - just some hook-ups. Hannah is desperate to please him. Adam is aggressive, says disgusting shit, does whatever he wants. The second is Marnie and Charlie. They are 23 and been dating 4 years. Marnie seems over him. Charlie is gentle, says loving shit, and does things he thinks will please her. What the two men have in common is that neither notice how completely unaroused the woman they're fucking are...and it's pretty obvious. The thing the two girls have in common is that neither has brought their physical sexual desires into the bed. 

SSL Review basic (skip if you already know)

Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

The Scenes!

Let me explain each scene quickly, and then I'll give the big overview. It'll be very exciting. 

Hannah and Adam
They're on his bed. Adam's pounding her, missionary with her legs pushed up against her stomach. He's way into it and saying all kinds of gross shit. She's in no way aroused and just kind of talking back to him in a very casual way.  He's telling her he found her in the street. She was 11 with a Cabbage Patch lunch box, and he's going to send her back to her parents covered in cum. At first she's slightly confused but nonchalant as he's saying this stuff, but then she starts to catch on that he's role-playing and starts to play along. She's doing that in a way that is not her getting aroused by it, but her understanding what she is supposed to do in the situation and doing it. He flips her around a bit, then pulls out and asks where he should come. She's incredibly nonchalant and still not at all horny in this situation too, and he starts wanking to come on her tits. He's like crazy aroused, and she is absolutely not. He tells her to touch herself. She asks where, and he tells her she knows where. To that, she says that honestly it's a little hard from that angle. He drops it and is continuing to say dirty shit. He goes into telling her she needs to ask his permission to come, and if she even thinks she might come she has to call him. She just says, "you want me to call you?" Then he puts his hand on her cheek and presses her face sideways on the pillow, comes, and rolls off.

She says, "That was really good. That was so good. I almost came." He doesn't care. He just asks if she wants a Gatorade.

Marnie and Charlie
They are on her bed in her and Hannah's shared apartment, in the same position as Hannah and Adam when their scene started. She is also very much not into it, and he very much is, but he's not pounding. He's slow stroking, but not grindy. He's saying sweet things like asking her to look at him so they can look into each other's eyes when they come. First, she's nowhere close to even thinking about coming, and also she's clearly annoyed and looking to the side. She tells him she wants to turn around and do doggy. They talk about how he thought she hated doggy, and then he gets inside her and starts going on and on about how good it feels and how he's going to have to go slow. She clearly just wants him to finish the fuck up so they can be done.

Later we see them arguing in the living room as he's about to leave. He's telling her he doesn't even know how to make love to her anymore. She's annoyed by that and tells him he should just do what you want and go on with his day because that's what guys do. He's annoyed by that. He tells her it's crazy, and asks her if he should just be some dumb abusive sex dude. 

 

Then Hanna gets home and the two gals have a conversation where Marnie tells Hannah that Charlie is too busy respecting her and just looks past her. Hannah points out they've been together 4 years, and it's probably normal if she's just bored. That annoys Marnie in its simplicity, but Hannah holds her ground and says she doesn't buy that Marnie's problem is that she has too good of a boyfriend. Then Hannah tells Marnie that Adam's still on with the gross stuff; the hooker stuff, daddy stuff, a platter of 'stuff'.' Clearly it's a thing they'd previously discussed as gross. Marnie is appalled and tells Hannah that Adam can't do that to her - he's not her boyfriend.  

The Discussion

First, in neither of those sex situation was there anything even slightly involving the clit. There were no hands, no vibrators, not rubbing the pelvis against bodies or bedding. For these ladies, there was just a penis moving in and out of a vagina. That does not an lady-gasm make. Contrary to popular belief, the stimulation of the inside of the vagina has never been shown to cause an orgasm in all of scientific literature (For Real). For the vagina-haver, that is. A penis rubbing into a vagina, on the other hand, has many a time shown been shown to cause orgasm in scientific literature for the penis-haver. That is also true for stimulation around the vulva/clit area. Many a time has that brought about observable, physical orgasm response.

 All that to say that the sex these 2 girls were having might seem different, but they're not. They are both doing what so many a lady have done for ages - having intercourse and not orgasming. It's the most basic it can get. The talking and the style of the two dudes is kind of irrelevant because either way, their partner's bodies are in no way getting the kind of orgasmic stimulation that their own bodies are. And, yeah, one might be saying gross things and one sweet things, but neither of them are looking at their partner and acknowledging what a very, very different experience their lady is having. Both of the dudes, in the end, are authentically and understandably getting incredibly physically aroused by their penis being simulated by a vagina and then, very incorrectly, assuming their partner is feeling similarly. 

Both the women are having sex with a person in a completely unaroused state and are doing their very best to ensure that their partner orgasms while having absolutely no expectation or intention to come themselves. Even Marnie, through her annoyance, is determined to get him off. She absolutely doesn't even want to be there at all. She is annoyed as hell with him, but she doesn't have any intention to stop until he comes. Granted she wants it done fast, but she is letting him use her unaroused body to come, like it's his right or something - just as Hannah is. 

I like these 2 scenes juxtaposed because I see it as examples of how big a part non-physical things become in a sexual relationship when the physical parts are not in the equation. I mean, this must be how Marnie and Charlie have done it for years, right? He seems like he's confused about why her attitude suddenly changed. He says he doesn't know how to make love to her anymore as if he's doing the same thing, and she has changed her attitude about it. He's confused, and she might be to some degree too, but I'm not. It's the oldest story in the book. I highly suspect she never or rarely came while they were making love for the past 4 years, but she was enamored with him - just like Hannah is with Adam right now. We're so fucked up and confused about sex and lady-gasms in this world that she probably just thought that's how things were. That's what sex is like, and she focused on the love and closeness and all that jazz, but when those things drop out, the sex is just a piece of a body poking inside her body. It's not arousing. Charlie, on the other hand, had always come, so even if the feelings leave, at least the orgasm is left. 

Marnie and Charlie have likely been experiencing sex completely differently for the last 4 years, but don't really realize it. The same is true for Hannah. She's the same as Marnie, but early in the relationship and willing to put ups with just really bothersome shit because she likes that he is engaged with her when they fuck. I feel like the extreme sweetness from the long-term relationship and extreme grossness from the new relationship really drives that point home.  

These two scenes feel very real. Like these are situations, give or take some elements and extremeness, that many a woman or her friend have gone through, and don't ya just know, we can, as always, thank a male-gasm centered sexual culture that has very little realistic room for clitoral stimulation and thus very little room for female orgasm. 

Vulva Rating

I have to say, because these scenes struck me as speaking, in their juxtaposition, about the plight of a female sexuality devoid of orgasm across the timeline of a relationship, I'm feeling generous with the Vulva Rating. It feels poignant to me. It's also realistic in its lack of orgasm depictions, because there were simply not physical things happening to these women that could realistically be said to cause a lady-gasm. I, obviously, appreciate that...and further - I appreciate that the lack of orgasm wasn't sort of hidden. It was really obvious neither of these women were even aroused. There was no ambiguity there. 

On the other hand, my hot take on this is a bit in the weeds here. I think it'd be easy for someone to just watch this and see two gross/funny/strange sex scenes. In the end they are in some ways like most sex scenes out there - a woman getting banged. So, it's not really progressive in that it's not modelling better, more lady-gasm friendly ways to go about sexual interactions, and we desperately need scenes like that to make clit-focused sexual interactions seem more mainstream and expected. So, I can't give it a full 5 vulvas, but it gets a super respectable 4 out of 5 vulvas.

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