I SSL Reviewed the first season of this show, and it only got 1out of 5 vulvas. One of the characters on here is a classic Samantha from Sex in the City archetype; a woman that is touted as being uber-sexual and confident by simply being REALLY into the types of sexual interactions that are realistically orgasmic for males but not females. It's kind of a pretend (but not uncommon) idea of a strong female sexuality. Tully in this show is that - HERE's the S1 Review. This is a Netflix show recommended me by my BBF. We've been friends since about the 2nd grade, and this show is about childhood BFFs as they move through life. It's originally a book, I think. I'm always looking for shows to have on while I'm doing stuff. They keep my interest but not too much; a little bit drama, a little bit sappy, occasionally genuinely sweet. This show meets the requirements. I actually burned through this season 2 while I was cleaning, and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted. This season has less SSL-reviewable moments, but don't worry, they're still pretty bad.
As I often say, just because women are involved in the making of something about female orgasm, doesn't mean you should expect it to be more sensible or anatomically accurate than something made by dudes. The sad truth is we're all largely miseducated and confused. I mean, Romance Novels are written largely by women, and although there's some with very sensible lady-gasm scenes, there are also tons of wildly inaccurate ones - often hilarious, but completely unrealistic and sometimes straight up bonkers.
An SSL Review (for those that don't know about them)
Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).
Office Closet Bang - The Basics - 1st scene
I'll cut straight to the chase. There's a scene where Tully gets banged in an office closet. It's quick. You see them making out and then she's sat on a shelf, facing the dude (we'll call him 'Dude'). He's facing her with her legs straddling him. They seemingly start the intercourse. He really bangs her, and then they both seem to come at the same time. There's no hands or vibrators down there near her clit area. Her pelvis isn't grinding up against him. It's just straight bangin'...just a penis stimulating the inside of her vagina (which is absolutely not something one should realistically expect to cause orgasm - for real) They finish, and it was clearly amazing for both of them. HOWEVER, if we throw in the reality of female anatomy, and what is actually known about how females orgasm in the scientific studies over the last...oh, say, forever years, then it's incredibly unrealistic that the action we saw would actually get Tully off. That ol' Dude got off, however, is completely in line with scientific, anatomical, and real-life experience understanding of how a male body might orgasm.
As is often the case this very common and basic scene just reinforces the very incorrect assumption that ladies should just come from getting banged...or maybe even more damaging - that certain (special) women can just come from a penis stimulating their vaginal barrel because, well, their lady junk is somehow different than others or they are cooler or more relaxed/sexual/confident or something like that. It's not an assumption has a base in reality, but it is a super common assumption and one that haunts many a person as they navigate their sex life. Scenes like these keep that alive and well.
Sometimes A Girl Just Likes To Get Banged - 2nd scene
This is a line Tully says to her BFF Kate...and Kate agrees. I find this scene incredibly troubling. Basically, Kate is talking about her boyfriend - a guy we know she will not end up with because we already know who that guy is. Kate's saying how nice and perfect he is. Tully starts calling bullshit because she's too syrupy. I actually like that part - she was absolutely too syrupy and bullshit should have been called, but Tully makes an assumption and starts questioning the sex in their relationship. Basically Kate says he's great and attentive, and sensitive, but eventually, against Tully's continued skepticism, agrees with Tully when she says, "but sometimes a girl just likes to get banged." In fact, clearly it's a bother to Kate that this dude doesn't just ram the shit out of her.
Okay, so I get that getting and certainly giving a hardcore bangfest can be fun, crazy/wild, arousing, and lots of other things, but for all the reasons I talked about above, it's very, very, likely not orgasmic - women are already not coming nearly as much as we could/should. So, yeah, maybe Kate wants a good banging. I'm not against a bang or someone wanting a bang. We already know Tully loves a bang. But, I am against glorifying the already overly glorified bang by throwing under the bus the very attitude from a man that could realistically create lady-gasm inducing sexual situations. So, this scene hits a nerve for me. It strongly insinuates that a man who is attentive to a woman's sexual needs and is thoughtful and sensitive is lame in bed, and what women really want is a dude that fucks her brains out. It's egregious to me because this isn't some hot take that only women could give about what women want with sex. It's not a funny, interesting tidbit between close women friends about the no-hold-barred reality of what sex is like for the ladies. It's just the basic cultural story we're told about what sex should be like, but spit back out thorugh the mouths of lady friends. And the gross part is that this cultural story is the very age-old cultural story that keep vaginal intercourse as the be-all-end-all of sex and thus keeps the female orgasm largely out of sexual encounters.
Listen, if Kate were a real person that said this, and not a TV character, I'd put insane amounts of money down that she'd be changing her tune down the road. After a few years of getting banged by the same dude over and over, of largely not orgasming when she has sex, of still being aroused after he comes and not getting the physical relief of an orgasm, of watching her dude orgasm almost every single time while she doesn't so much, of naturally losing all the excitement that comes with a new person/new sex/ new love that made orgasmless sex seem so exciting...I mean you know that other cultural story we often hear about where women stop wanting to have sex after they get married? It comes from some place, and I venture to say that place is a sex life full of lady-gasmless banging that over time lost the excitement/newness/arousal that it had at the beginning and slowly makes sexual encounters less desirable for her but fairly similar to him and his orgasm-full sex life. I think this is incredibly common - and sadly neither party truly understands why.
Anyway, this scene just that shitty cultural story deeper into our collective conscious and makes it seem like it's a story women want and need in our lives, when it's quite the opposite.
The Vulva Rating
For all the reasons above, and because I just really hate that "sometimes a girl just likes to get banged" scene so much, especially because this should be more of a lady-centric show, and is in other ways, I give this season 0 vulvas out of 5.
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