5 Movies To Watch With Your Teens #DirectedByWomen

I started doing this categorized List of 5 movies thing where I showcase movies that were directed by women and that I have actually seen. It all started during the Directed By Women Worldwide Viewing Party in September 2015, and it was pretty fun, so I've continued doing it from time to time.

It's a bit off-topic from my normal fare, ya know, being that it's not specifically about lady-gasms or anything like that, but I think it fits the blog because
1. this blog is also about indie movie-making, and
2. this blog is partially about getting the female perspective of sexuality into our media. So, to me, supporting female voices in our media  means we're creating more room for female voices to speak on all types of things, which sometimes will be sex, orgasms, and sexuality.

You can find all my 5-movie lists HERE.

So, I know it's hard to find a movie on Netflix or whatever when you're hanging out with your young teen children and or nieces/nephews. They're picky. You're picky. Sometimes you just have to choose something and move on. You can make those choices from my list here today. This is the list of 5 movies by women directors to watch with your teens.

1 Pay It Forward - This one is directed by Mimi Leder. I saw this at home with my parents, I think, around the time it came out. I lived with them a couple years during college. It is a really lovely movie, as I recall, and well worth the watch.

2 Tortilla Soup - This was directed by Maria Ripoll. I saw this somehow, maybe on cable, maybe I rented it, around the time it came out in 2001. It's a feel good, family, sister, awesome-looking-food kind of movie if I recall. I remember enjoying it, and it seems like a solid Saturday afternoon choice, if you ask me.

3 The Matrix - This is by Lana Wachowski and Lilly Wachowski. I saw this in the theater when it came out, and like everyone else that saw it, I assume, I left the theater feeling like I could fly and bounce off walls. The effects were insane for the time, but I think they still hold up. Granted, this is rated R, but I think it'd be fine for most teens, and plus, I think they'd really get into it.

4 Bend it Like Beckham - This was directed by Gurinder Chadha. I didn't actually see this 2002 movie until just this year on Amazon. I had always heard it was a good one, though, and it did not disappoint. It was sweet, and funny, and a general good watch. This is a really top notch choice for a movie both ten and parent would be into.

5 The Fairy - This was directed by Fiona Gordon, Dominique Abel, and Bruno Romy. I saw this recently online streaming somewhere. It looked sweet, and as I was watching, I realized it looked a lot like a trailer I'd seen recently for a movie called Lost in Paris, so I looked it up and it is indeed the same people. The directors Fiona and Dominique also star in and write them. They are different characters in all their movies, but with the same names. They are whimsical, slap-stick movies, a bit of an homage to a certain type of silent movie. It's unique and fun, and worth a watch. Oh- it's also foreign, but hopefully your teens can read.


Playboy 2006 SSL Review - June

Why I have a stack of decade old Playboys that I'm SSL Reviewing
Long story short I took them from my parents house thinking I would review them for this blog and then didn't actually do that for over 10 years but now want them the hell out of my house because I hate clutter and don't know how I've not thrown them away all these years. Also, I thought I had all 12 months, but some are gone. If you want the longer story, check out the 1st 2006 Playboy SSL Review I did.

SSL Review Basics
An SSL review - as many of you - know is a critique ONLY of discussions or depictions of female masturbation and/or female orgasm and/or the clit. I critique the realism and also what the depiction/discussion adds to our culture conversations on the topics of female sexuality and orgasm. I usually do these SSL Reviews for either movies or TV, but magazines are fun from time to time. These Playboy SSL Review will be a bit more relaxed and simple than most. I'd like to have a little fun here (but I will still give it a vulva rating).

Playboy After Hours: Do You Know What a Merkin Is?

I did not, and this is technically not an SSL Reviewable thing, but I thought you all might be interested. This was an interview of Michele Merkin, a 2006 era E! Network host. One thing she said was that she found out what a merkin was in the 8th grade and it was big talk around the school. I asked the 3 other people in the room if they knew what that was, and they were as stumped as me. Luckily, Google. It's a pubic wig. Old (like centuries ago) prostitutes used them after shaving their pubes for things like preventing crabs. Old male actors playing female nudes on stage used them. Modern day actors and actresses use them. It's fun. It's a pubic wig.

 The Playboy Advisor - bitching about wives not putting out
Okay, this is not technically about female orgasm, but the underlying issue here soooo is about female orgasm, so I'm including this one in this SSL Review too.

I am disturbed by the reader who said he earns "penis points" from his wife that he can redeem for sex (February). This sad letter reflrects the fact that American men have lost control of their sex lives. More and more of my middle aged friends say their wives have informed them they have no use for sex and that men should "get over it." there is even an implied ban on masturbation. The attitude seems to be that men are entitled to only as much sex as their wives desire. If she wants to host a gang bang in the town square, the attitude is "You go, girl." But if she wants little or none, the assumption is that it must be the guy's fault for not being romantic and not making her want it. Is this happening everywhere or just among my friends? Men need to get some balls and demand their right to either sex at home or elsewhere. I don't think of myself as macho, but enough is enough. Is anyone willing to join the movement? P.L. Cocoa FL

So, you mean the movement to insist women have sex - even if they don't want to - with their husbands and if women don't do that (or even if they do) then other women should let these husbands fuck them because men have a right to push their penises into vaginas until they come whenever the mood strikes them? Is that the movement? Because that one is like the biggest movement in history. It's like pretty much got a huge following already, so you are good.

Playboy answers this in an okay way. They get quotes from the author of "The Sex-Starved Marriage," and together they say all the things sexperts/advisers are supposed to say like: A couple is not always going to be on the same page with desire all the time; and you shouldn't think of these issues as only one person's problems, it's an issue you both need to address; and people need to realize that being constantly rejected for sex in a marriage is painful; and men should try to get past their anger and try to express that loneliness and rejection they feel; and also this:
"Men also make the mistake of thinking their wives are turned on by lingere or x-rated movies or the same things that turn them on. But as the penis-points letter demonstrated, what women want is help around the house, and unexpected call from work to say you're thinking about her or more conversation."
Well, or- and hear me out - maybe deep down inside we want actual orgasms when we have sex...and also a time machine so we can go back and turn all the orgasm-less, painful, sometimes rapey, sometimes actual rape, sexual interactions from our past into ones where we felt safe, comfortable and had a nice orgasm. You know, so we can see sex more like the average man and so that when the suggestion for sex comes up and we weigh it in our head against something else, like watching TV or finally getting some laundry done so we have things to wear next week, sex seems more pleasurable and useful than those things. I mean, did you think about that angle Playboy? Probably not. No one ever does.

Honestly, for a lot of women sex has only very rarely also meant an orgasm, which after youth and hope and newness wears off means sex probably rarely means even arousal...and when you're not aroused / horny but are either forced to or feel pressured (even if it's just because you love the guy and feel like you haven't done it enough that month) to have sex, let's just be frank here. The details of sex can be downright gross, and doing laundry really does make for a better time. For men sex and orgasm pretty much always go hand in hand, and so sex means horniness and excitement and good memories. The hard, cold truth is that we live in a world where most women probably have mostly non orgasmic and/or bad memories of sex...even with kind, loving partners because we live in a world that deeply misunderstands how the female orgasm works (and if you've watched our movie or if you've read this blog at all you know what I mean by that).

I think this dude writing the letter up there is a self-righteous, thoughtless, asshole, but I don't blame him for his wife losing interest in sex. I mean I blame him a little, but she's to blame too because we women are often as ignorant about our orgasms and influenced by cultural assumptions as men are. Everyone is responsible for this shitty situation for female orgasm and sexuality, and everyone needs to be part of the solution. But that means being real about what is happening and not happening to women during our partnered sexual encounters, being real about how different the male experience of sex can be from the female experience of sex, and be real about how complicated and deep our culture's ignorance is about female orgasm. So, all the things Playboy and the author said are nice, but they are not getting at the real problem of how men and women often develop completely different sexual drives in hetero relationships.

Rose Bud by Heather Caldwell
This is a bit of journalism in which a woman talks to doctors and clients involved with the growing and incredibly lucrative trend of various types of elective genital surgery for women: clitoral hood removal, g-spot collagen injection, laser lip reduction and rejuvenation, and hymenoplasty. So, you can get your labia cut into small symmetrical bits, add your hymen back in, take your clit hood off for some reason, or get collagen added into the area in your vagina that butts up against your urethra wrapped in the "Skeens gland" AKA female prostate - G-spot injections.

The author, Ms. Caldwell, stays skeptical and a little sad at the idea that women are being told their junk is not good enough as is, even after talking to women who swear by it. It's hard not to be sad and skeptical, because it's mostly a bunch of sad bullshit that a few plastic surgeons are marketing to women.

As for this being in the SSL Review, the only part that starts to discuss orgasm is The G-spot injection. It's supposed to make the G-spot easier to reach and make the women go crazy during sex. I mean, stimulating the G-spot has been shown to cause ejaculation in some women, but no one's really sure if it would cause ejaculation in all women, and - this is important - literally never has it been shown to cause orgasm in any woman ever. There is literally no physical evidence in all of peer reviewed scientific journals that this has ever happened. So I'm super duper skeptical of that.

It was an interesting article, and I liked the author. It's just a bit depressing of a subject.

Maxiderm Ad
This is a classic ad where it's made up to be like a dude is writing some type of adviser (in this situation some woman named Steffanie who has a fiance with the same problem) about his 'lack of sexual confidence' lately. It's all very veiled language, but basically Steffanie tells him her fiance took this amazing product and she got "the time of her life...repeatedly!" The insinuation seems to me that a dude takes this stuff, he gets super hard, stays hard and fucks her brains out until she comes and comes and comes. It's the age-old story we tell people about how men can give women orgasms, but of course it's a bunch of BS. Women don't orgasm from penises rubbing the insides of their vaginas and men don't need hard dicks to make women orgasm.

Dudes, a piece of advice. If you're having trouble getting hard, just stop worrying about it and focus on using your hands and tongue and vibes on your lady's parts. Get that clit lit. Help her come and then try again another night for yours.

Better Sex Advanced Techniques Video Series 2 
It's an ad for a explicit sex advice video. I am not against such a thing. It's probably better to see the shit happening explicitly in learning about sex - 'cause it's not always obvious. However, a lot of these teaching videos are just regular ol' porn slightly dressed up, so the advise is bad.

This one touts "G-spots and Multiple Orgasms shows you how to score the Ultimate-O again and again - guaranteed!"

Bull motha-fuckin shit. Why are we still acting like the g-spot stimulation creates orgasms, and not only orgasms but some type of magically amazing Ultimate-Os that last and last. Truth is, it might make you feel like you have to pee. It might make you ejaculate. If you add in some clit stimulation it might make you orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, but we really do need to stop talking so much about the G-spot. It's not helpful to the fate of lady-gasms in this culture.


House of Cards Season 5: The SSL Review

House of Cards Season 5 
I really enjoy House of Cards. I love Frank and Claire's relationship. The meticulous chess games are fun to watch, but to be honest, I wonder if it's run its course. I will continue to watch it. I'm not a quitter (except with Twin Peaks -  I don't care what anyone says, David Lynch ain't no genius....and oh I don't know...maybe he gets a bit too much ass-licking??). Anyway, I just finished season 5 of House of Cards. I really felt like the show should have been wrapping up, but it didn't. Don't get me wrong. I would love to see the show focused more on Claire - which may be the way the next season goes. She's a way better character than Frank. I actually thought I would really hate this show when I started because over the years I have grown to have a general distaste for Kevin Spacey's acting. But, I liked him in this. It's like the character finally fit him. So, I don't know. Maybe the next season will pick up.

Enough of that though. Let's get to the SSL Review, which, as most of you already know, is a critique specifically of a depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. I look toward realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?), and I also look at what the depiction/discussion reflect from and add to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality. A show could be good with a bad SSL review or vice versa, and I really try to keep an SSL review to the SSL reviewable scenes, but if I feel like it, I can talk about anything I want to - because it's my blog.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Season 5 Episode 4 - Clean, pretty, blonde Republicans having clean, pretty sex
 We've got that attractive political couple (I will not give any spoilers here) doing it again. Them banging on a bathroom counter was a also the lone SSL review from season 4. This is a very similar review except there was more ambiguity about where hands were this time and this time she was on top of him cowgirl style. It was a very quick scene. The camera moves up from below mattress level as we hear her breathing with short intakes of breath as if she's about to come. As her upper torso then head move into the shot, we see her eyes close and head tilt back as she lets out some final breaths indicating that she just orgasmsed. The camera, as it moves up is aslo tilted up, so we see very little of what's going on. We don't see the man laying underneath her until she smiles and flops forward on him after she comes. We don't see below her elbows really. What we do see is that she is positioned mostly upright with a slight tilt towards the bed and is moving up and down with her body as one would if they were bouncing on a dick. Her hands are down in front of her. They are not completly still, there is some movement, but it's nothing clearly rhythmic or clearly like she's rubbing her clit, but I can't really rule that out. It looks more like she's steadying herself with her hands on his torso, and those said hands move slightly as she comes and then leans in toward him.

One way would be awesome and one way would be status quo. I mean, if that actress and that director decided to have here rubbing one out while she was riding him, well, I just wouldn't be able to contain my joy. That's all I ever wanted from depictions of ladies orgasming during intercourse. If they got all bold like that, I do wish they would have shown it better.

However, if  she just had her hands on him, well, that's what I would expect to be happening. That's usually what these scenes look like. I can't be mad since it's so normal to depict a woman orgasming during intercourse with no additional clit/vulva stimulation (and her body's angle against hime wasn't close enough to get the clit stim from grinding it against his pelvis). I mean, there's no physical scientific evidence that a woman can orgasm from stimulation only to the inside of the vagina in all of scientific literature, but sure, have your female characters come hard with nothing but a dick moving in her to. Why not? It makes sense, I guess, that 90% of women depicted in TV and movie can orgasm this way, right? Who needs actual clitoral stimulation. It's only the female organ of sexual pleasure, but whateves.

Vulva Rating
So, I can't completely confidently poo-poo this depiction as unrealistic because there is a slight chance that she could have been rubbing one out, which would be exactly the way a woman could come in this situation. I will poo-poo it a little though because that's probably not the case, and even if that is exactly what the actress here was performing, the director chose not to show it. So, in the end, I think most people will passively take in this scene as one of hundreds or thousands they've seen that basically says, "when women get some dick, they come!...unless their emotions or relationship problems get in the way :(" Overall, that feeling in our culture that when women have intercourse they should orgasm as much and as easily as men is just wrong, and each new insinuation that this is true layers another blanket over the fact that women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Women need that as much as men need penile stimulation, but largely women don't get that and men do.

This scene gets a 2 1/2 vulva rating


Watch SSL, Contact Me, Know Me

I get asked every now and then where you can watch the movie or where you can contact me. I realized that this blog doesn't actually have an easy link to that stuff when you're looking at it on a mobile device, so I thought I'd re-up. I'll add this page into the dropdown for mobile and top links for desktop.

Watch Science, Sex and the Ladies!

On Vimeo (we love Vimeo - there's great stuff there. Also you can watch it with English, Russian, or Brazilian Portuguese subtitles): https://vimeo.com/ondemand/26160

Science, Sex and The Ladies from AnC Movies on Vimeo.

On Amazon: (We're new here, so and if you've seen it already and want to give us a customer review there, we'd love it.) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M5FZ1A2?tag=moviefone-20

On Indie Flix: (You have to subscribe to this, kinda like Netflix, so if you don't already subscribe, we suggest one of the above options) https://www.indieflix.com/

At An Event: Hey, we want people to see this move, so if you have someplace you'd like to show it, just contact me, Trisha (see below).

Contact Me!
First off, I LOVE to hear from people. I LOVE it. Contact me. Say whatever you want. Secondly, here's ways to do it.

Email: trisha att ancmovies dott com

Twitter: @ScienceSexMovie (Follow me, baby)

Facebook: Here's our movie group's page AnC Movies. We made Science, Sex and the Ladies. We're working on our next full length...which will be a bit different than SSL.

Science, Sex and the Ladies Website

AnC Movies Website

About Me
I love lady-gasm activism. I love this blog. I love SSL Reviewing movies and journal articles and advice columns. I love finding and highlighting other people out there working (knowingly or unknowingly) for the Orgasm Equality Movement. I hope all the shit I fill this blog with can be a strange and wonderful resource for all kinds of people. I wish I had more time in the day to spend working on this blog.

Me and Tina having fun working on this blog

I have a day job though. I'm a biologist, and I actually quite like that job as well. I'd even call it a career.

I also LOVE making movies with 2 men, Charlie and Barnaby, I've known since high school. We're AnC Movies. Science, Sex and the Ladies (SSL) was our first full length movie, but we'd made lots of shorts and commercial work before that. It happened that our first full length was a doc about lady-gams, but we're not really doc makers necessarily. We just really liked the idea of that movie. Our next one is a narrative and probably the one after that will be as well.

L to R: Charlie, Me, Barnaby having an AnC meeting circa 2005ish - probably talking about the SSL script

I'm excited to make more movies, but SSL will always have a special place in my heart. It was my baby, and I fell in love with the subject. I've been doing this blog for years now, expanding on the subjects we touch in SSL, and I'm so grateful I get to continue exploring this subject. I think it's important. But I watched SSL again recently, and I still think it's a crucial companion to this blog. I find it hasn't lost much for me over time and further exploration. I just really love it because it puts the whole story I'm trying to tell together. That's hard to do in these blogs. It's too complicated and broad, and the movie says almost everything without getting too bogged down or being too light. Plus, I think it's funny as hell and weird as shit; something that is not quite a doc but definitely non-fiction. It's got its own special little style that we call a visual essay. I heart this movie hard.

On set for Science, Sex and the Ladies. It was almost all done in front of green screen in a run-down old building. All the wierd stuff hanging is lots of make-shift sound treatment, and this is the sex-ed up caveman scene - one of my faves. 

Charlie, me and Barnaby on set for SSL.  2009ish. We are doing important things (Charlie's little brother in the background).

AnC at the Gateway Theater Doc Week showing of SSL (April 2016)

I also have 3 cats. Charlie (of AnC Movies as well) is my husband. We have tons of nieces and nephews, and watch lots of TV and movies. We live and work in Indiana. It gets a lot of shit as a location, but hey, this is where Kinsey did his sex research. Hoosiers have a solid history of pushing sexual culture forward through science. It's also pretty cheap to make movies here.

This is me and Ramona, the only of our cats we found as a kitten. She started it all. I'm sleeping. Anyone who has known me for any length of time will have seen me in this sleeping position at some point...in a meeting, in a class, at my desk, talking to you. I can sleep anywhere and anytime. 
I don't want to leave Eds out. She was the last cat we found, and she's sitting next to me on a copy of Masters and Johnson's Human Sexual Response there. Her full name is Edgar. We named her through a window well before we decided to take her in.

Here's some pics related to me, AnC, and Science, Sex and the Ladies, for you to enjoy.

This is me with the trophies I won from baton twirling as a young girl. I got a 1st out of 1 and a 4th out of 4...but they were big impressive trophies none the less. This is just before I threw them out.
Amazing mash-up photo of Charlie, me and Barnaby at a 2008 Baltimore exhibition of our short Mustache II: The Second Mustache in collaboration with the Indianapolis Museum of Contemporary Art (Dude on screen is our other HS friend and early AnC member, Phil. I'm licking his tiny mustache) 

Still from our first post-HS short movie (2002) Him Her Roland. That's me and B, and the back of Charlie's head. Shot with our first digital camera the XL1 in the restaurant I worked in at the time.

Here at AnC Movies, we try our best to send out a yearly holiday (could be any holiday) card to let our mailing list know about our endeavors. This is our 2014 New Year one.

Me and Charlie on set for SSL as characters we both had to step in and play because the actor couldn't make it last minute. I am Marie Robinson, an opinionated female sexuality writer of the 50's. Charlie is a romance novel character. The romance novel shoot was epic. 
I've saved the best for last. This is me as 80's mom in SSL, a late (2012) re-shoot. We transformed Barnaby's living room for this and that is his cat Yancey. It is the most perfect picture of me in existence. 


Don't Trust the B in Apt 23 S1: The SSL Review

Don't Trust The B---- In Apartment 23
I started watching this. I think my brother in law (husband's brother) told me to watch this and then I think my sister did too (my actual sister that used to be super mean to me when she was a teenager but is pretty awesome now and gives me good ideas for TV to watch). Anyway, I got 2 recommendations and plus it was sitting up front on my Netflix home page, so I went for it. Charlie's had several trips in the last couple months, and I cannot watch a lot of my fave shows without him in good faith, so I've been running through a variety of sitcoms that Charlie would probably also like, but since I started them on my own, we're not technically bound to watch them together via the universal laws of steaming TV watching. I actually watched the whole first season in one night...which to be fair is not that impressive because there is only 10 episodes in the first season and that just comes out to like a really, really long movie if you think about it.

Turns out I found 2 SSL Reviewable moment in the first season, but strangely it looks like the Season-Episode configuration on Netflix is different than the original airing of the show. There were only 7 episodes aired in the original 2011-2012 season, but Netflix has 10 episodes in the first season. They're kinda switched around. Why they gotta confuse me like that? Anyway, I'm going with the Netflix episode configuration because I feel like it.  Anyway, one is in the 1st episode and the other is in the 8th, but they are connected...and they are both about tub masturbation.

SSL Reviews
As my oh so loyal readers know, an SSL Review is a critique that focuses solely on depictions or discussions of female orgasm or masturbation. Nothing else really matters as far as my critiquing goes, and so if it doesn't have those types of discussions/depictions, I don't SSL Review. Regular ol' no-ladygasm-included depictions of sex don't count.

In an SSL Review I focus on how realistic the scenes are (don't try and act like a woman's gonna come from a couple strokes of penis in vagina with no extra clit stimulation. I will slice your throat...or write a scathing SSL Review). I also like to discuss what I think those depiction or discussion add to the larger conversation about female orgasm or female sexuality.

Feel free to check more SSL Reviews for TV Shows and also for Movies.

So here we go.

S1 Ep1 (Pilot) Rub-a-dub-dub
To orient you, June is a sweet, optimistic character from Indiana (that's my state, ya'll - the one used often in movies and TV as a producer of naive, overly friendly, Midwestern-esque characters!) who just moved to New York and in with new room mate Chloe.  Chloe is a scheming, abrasive New York party girl that is trying to pull a hard con on her new room mate June.

June is in the tub, bubble-bathing it, and Chloe busts in.
Chloe: Hey how'd the job hunt go?
June: Uh I'd kind of like to be alone.
Chloe: Oh sorry were you masturbating?
June: What? No!
Chloe: Don't worry I get it. I have a long standing sexual history with that tub. I'm like Jessica Tandy and that tub's Hume Cronyn. Don't mind me. Get your Cronyn on.

June seems absolutely horrified. Later Chloe comes back to the apartment with James Van Der Beek (Dawson from Dawson's Creek and her BFF) and introduces June to James.
James Van Der Beek: I heard all about you June. So you like to rub-a-dub-dub in the tub?
June: (again horrified) What. No. Wait. Did she...She said that? Did she tell you that?

The story goes on from there, and we don't revisit that anymore in this episode, but we kinda do in episode 8. And she really wasn't masturbating. Chloe was just being a bitch.

S1 E8 (It's just Sex...) Busting into the Bathroom Again
Let's set the scene. June just spring cleaned the apartment. She's feeling good and Chloe has left on a plane to Europe. She gets in the tub with some music and bubbles. It's relaxing. It cuts to a memory of a really clean cut, fit blonde guy who was clearly waiting in line at the coffee shop where she works at some point. It cuts from her remembering him to her face in the tub. She has her eyes closed. She's relaxed and looking pleased. At one point she smiles and looks kinds dreamy. There are bubbles up to her pits, and we don't actually see her shoulders moving, but we kinda hear some flickering in the water. It's not crazy obvious since this is a network TV show, but it's still pretty obvious that she's masturbating (like we could easily assume she's gently moving her hand around in the general clit/vulva area). Then Chloe busts into the bathroom
Chloe: I missed my plane
She stops, and it cuts back and forth between June looking increasingly horrified and Chloe who slowly realizes what is happening. We see Chloe's expression change from suspicious to interested to knowing to incredibly proud.
June: (still horrified)  No. I wasn't!
Chloe: This must be how moms feel on the first day of kindergarten. Stand up and give me a hug!"
June: (shakes her head no in continued horror) 
It moves to the next scene. They are in the kitchen.
Chloe: (eating a corndog) Corndog, horndog?"
They talk for a minute with June asking Chloe why she's even here. Chloe explains how she missed the plane and then says,
Chloe: My little girl, learning to play the lady harp!
June:(huffs off)Chloe: So who was it? Who were you strumming to?
June: Nope. Nobody. Nobody..........Soy latte guy comes in every day and orders a soy latte, and I can see his abs through his t-shirt!
Then Chloe tries to get June to have casual sex. She actually does end up having causal sex with the soy latte guy, but then gets stuck in a relationship that Chloe gets her out of. In the end, June and soy latte guy part amicably, and say the following as they part
SLG: I'll still come in for my soy lattes.
June: And I'll see you in the tub!

My Thoughts 
So, in the first episode Chloe is actually trying to annoy June so much that she moves out of the apartment, and so the busting into the bathroom and accusing her of masturbating was obviously part of that. June was not masturbating, and so her indignation at the accusation could just be that. It could also be because, particularly for a woman, the idea that you masturbate is still pretty embarrassing. I think that is definitely also part of June's horror and indignation because June's character is supposed to be one of innocence and traditional values to contrast against Chloe's wild lack of morals. Chloe, however, unabashedly admits to masturbating in this scene.

So, to me, I think there are two ways of seeing what this scene adds to the cultural discussion of female masturbation.

One (the positive view): it's a discussion, which in and of itself acknowledges that women masturbate, and that's needed in pop culture. Men get to see the recognition that other men masturbate in TV and movies all the time, but it's much less common to see that for women, so anything to start putting lady-bation in scripts as much as boy-bation is good in my book.

Two (the negative view): June's horror about someone accusing her of masturbating paired with her every-girl, nice-normal-person character makes it seem like it really is horrifying to think of a normal girl masturbating. Chloe admitting to it only reiterates that point because she's not like June. She's supposed to be a bad whorey bitch of a woman who would freely admit to something as horrifying as masturbating. So, in a way, maybe this scene just reinforces the dichotomy of female sexuality...good girls are appropriately sexual within a loving relationship and bad girls are whores that masturbate and have casual sex.

I think there is an element in this scene of both these, but I think overall it's more One than Two. Particularly if we take a longer view of this series and incorporate the sorta follow-up scenes in episode 8 there is more of a positive every-woman-does-it vibe going about masturbation, and I like that.

In the later scene, we find that June does actually masturbate. Chloe, when she learns this, sorta acts as if it's a brand new thing for June, but it likely isn't. June's words at the end admits pretty clearly that she'll be masturbating to the fantasy of Soy Latte Guy in future tub visits.  I think June and masturbation are put into a different context than they were in the first scene. Before, it seemed as though she maybe didn't masturbate and was horrified at the thought of it, which kinda made sense with her personality that she wouldn't masturbate. She just wasn't that type of girl. However, in this second scene, she doesn't really lose the horror at someone thinking she masturbated. Her personality didn't really change. She's still a naive, nice, Midwestern girl that doesn't really like casual sex, but now we know even girls like her masturbate, and I think that helps send the message out into the world that just like men, it's safe and sensible to assume most women masturbate. That is good for normalizing female masturbation - which is good for orgasm equality, my friends.

As far as critiquing how realistic the physical things happening during the masturbation were -  well, it seemed sensible enough. She didn't get to the point of orgasming, so what she was physically doing didn't really need to be something that could sensibly cause orgasm. She was just starting, so she just needed to be doing something that would be arousing. Like I said above, we couldn't really see her arm moving, but it didn't seem like she was doing any pornified masturbation tropes like ramming things up he vag. It just seemed that there was gentle movement somewhere down there, so I'll assume she was rubbing her hand against her vulva/clit area, and that's very realistic for both getting aroused and even getting to orgasm eventually. So all good on the physical realism.

Vulva Rating
There was some ambiguity to me about if the first scene by itself more positively or negatively affected the cultural discussion of female masturbation and female sexuality. However, paired with the 2nd scene, I think it tipped the scales to the positive. I like that with what little indications there was of the physical things happening, it could be interpreted as realistic masturbation. I also like that it insinuated that even good, naive girls that don't want people to know about it, still masturbate. I think overall, it helps normalize the idea of women touching their own genitals and bringing themselves to orgasm. I'm giving this a 4 out of 5 vulva rating


The Americans Season 4: The SSL Review

The Americans Season 4
As I've said before, I LOVE the Americans, and I'm about to watch Season 5 finally, so I thought I should finally SSL Review Season 4. There were 2 SSL Reviewable scenes in this season and both included a woman coming during intercourse in missionary style. One is slightly more realistic in my opinion, but we'll get to that.

As you know, only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

S4 Episode 5: Solid Missionary Depiction 

In this scene the main characters, Philip and Elizabeth, have sex in bed. They are in a missionary-ish position when the lady-gasm occurs. It's shot mostly from bed level looking towards their bodies from the top of their heads (see the last 30 seconds in the clip below), but we can't really see anything but their heads and upper chests because they are tightly pressed together and their bodies block their torsos, hips and legs from view.

So, I can't really say what was happening in the pelvic region at teh time she orgasms. Clearly they were meant to be having intercourse, and as you know intercourse alone would not realistically cause a woman to orgasm given that there is no physical evidence in scientific literature showing that stimulation inside the vagina without additional external clitoral stimulation has ever caused orgasm.

However, it is completely possible for a woman to have an orgasm during intercourse if she is able to get enough stimulation on her clitoral/vulva area. Obviously that can be done with hands or vibrator placed down there, but it can also be done if she is able to grind against her partner or the bedding or what-have-you in such a way that the ol' clit gets enough stimulation to take her over the edge. I don't accept this grinding possibility is happening in sex scenes unless I see active bodily movement from the woman and feel there are body parts or bedding continuously (and that doesn't mean intermittently during banging situations) pressed up against the vulva area during the intercourse so the I know it's possible that the woman is getting consistent pressure against her clit for which she can then grind against.

So, that's what I need to see in order to entertain the possibility that the fictional woman's orgasm is depicted in a realistic way: consistent pressure against clit/vulva area and active bodily movement from the woman. I think it's a fair assessment. I mean, if I saw a depiction of a dude that came from a woman moving her head back and forth, touching the penis tip with her lips intermittently each time her head ended up at the penis, then I would say that was pretty silly. Maybe if he was crazy horny it could happen as a fluke, but just like a dude banging a woman and maybe having his body intermittently pushing up against her vulva/clit during each thrust, it's just not likely, people. Females need consistent clit stim and males need consistent penile stimulation. It's simple really.

Anyway, this scene hit the mark. Like I said, I couldn't see their lower bodies, but judging from their upper bodies, they were pressed together pretty tightly and consistently, so that satisfies one of my conditions. The other condition gets a check mark too because Elizabeth was grabbing his body and moving her core kinda desperately, and to me, even though I couldn't see the lower parts, it was enough to assume she very easily could be grinding like a motha fucker against him. I love that because it's realistic enough, but I also just like seeing women's bodies actively moving during sex. We are often depicted not moving at all while a dude bangs into us, and that sucks because we need depictions that help model actual ways women might orgasm during intercourse, and laying still ain't one of them.

S4 Episode 9: Loud Come
So this is another missionary sex scene where the woman orgasms, but this just isn't as good a depiction as the one above. It's two Russians, Oleg and Tatiana, but I sometimes call them Russian Pete Campbell (because his personality kinda reminds us of Pete Campbell on Mad Men) and Russian Miranda July (because she looks the tiniest bit like Miranda July). She's super loud and vocal about it because it's a thing with them. He's rich and lived in homes with walls thick enough to be loud during sex in his youth and she was poor and had paper thin walls in her apartments. Now, she's in a place with sensibly thick walls. She, she's specifically loud, but I get it, it makes sense, and it's not a fake porny depiction.

Other than that, it's just basic intercourse sex. He was close down on her, which is good, so her vulva/clit area may be getting consistently pressed upon, but she doesn't seem to be moving her body much, and so I don't buy that there would really be a sufficient amount of appropriate clit stimulation there if she's not actively making that happen with her own body. Really, it just looks like every other sex scene you'll ever see. He fucks her...she comes...and we are left to assume that intercourse in and of itself is as orgasmic for females as it is for males...and that's just not true. Her coming in that situation is simply not that realistic, but it's also super status quo, so it's not super egregious.

Oleg and Tatiana

The Vulva Rating
I liked the depiction of the Philip-Elizabeth orgasm because their bodies were such that she could have been consistently pressed up against him and grinding the whole time, and that could realistically get a woman her orgasm. The Tatiana-Oleg one was a bit too status quo though. I'll give this season a mixed review of 3 1/2 vulvas.



Sex and the City S3 Ep7-9: A Retro SSL Review

My newish little segment is back for a 6th round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

Anyway, the fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification.

Hopefully these won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

SATC Notes S3 E7-9

Season 3 Ep 7
-Miranda had orgasm (it seemed) being fucked missionary lying motionless

-Sam met guy who took Viagra recreationally, then (there was a) scene of her fucking cowgirl style totally orgasmic. [made the impression that his Viagra made it exceedingly good for her].

-Miranda says sex with Steve is no frills but not exciting  - more like a race to have an orgasm.

-Sam is with a guy  + he takes Viagra - she says she must be in for a wild ride. Then she takes one  - she is riding cowgirl style + has craziest most awesome orgasm ever ever ever.

- Sam goes nuts when that guy suggests going without Viagra. She loves them.

Season 3 Ep 8
-1/2 a joint 3 thrusts + finito - Carrie on her first time.

-Samantha missionary - getting pounded on, looks completely bored. He's a pathetic old loser and she slept with him because she felt sorry for herself.

Season 3 Ep 9
-Samantha gives head and spunk tastes horrible

Tina sitting on it while I'm trying to copy it into this blog with Eds looking on
Modern Day Me Comments
First off, Viagra ruins everything (an aside).
This may not be a popular opinion, but dear sweet baby Jesus, this may have been the worst thing for women having sex with old men and drunks since the invention of garlic. I mean all that pounding! So much pounding has happened since that shit was invented. Don't get me wrong. I see the value of it for certain things. I mean, it does help men who were physically having problems with this get and maintain an erection. That's great for the men and sometimes their partners (when the Viagra taking men understand that women orgasm through outer clitoral stimulation and not from their dicks rubbing the inner vagina...and how many people actually understand that, honestly?...). What it does not do, however, is help with actual arousal. So there has to be some arousal from the man or Viagra doesn't work at all, but it's not gonna help get a man to orgasm/ejaculate or to get him to orgasm/ejaculate any faster

First the drunk. He's young and horny and using Viagra for fun because he's so wasted his body won't keep the erection. He ain't never gonna come though. NEVER. He's just gonna keep pounding until he passes out with his hard dick still inside you. It's a nightmare. Before this damn drug, you all would have tried to fuck, but since he couldn't get hard, he might have resorted to eating you out, but sadly, Viagra ruined that tiny miracle of drunk men trying to screw.

Then the old dudes and their poor old wives. You have an old dude who, because he's old and it's normal, doesn't reach orgasm as quickly or get aroused as quickly anymore. Yet, he took a pill and his junk's hard, and so since his junk's hard, he's just gonna keep on pounding and pounding and pounding. He's all excited because he hasn't had a dick this hard in a while, and so he's really trying to pound hard, but then he starts getting all hot and sweaty, and that don't help anyone reach orgasm, and what's left is some poor old woman getting pounded in her poor vagina that probably doesn't get as wet as it used to because she's old and that's also normal. Also, pounding by itself just straight up won't cause orgasm for women, so it's gonna get pretty boring for her anyway, and now he's dripping sweat from his forehead into her eyes, and the whole thing just sucks. That's the commercial they don't show.

I mean, the one joy of growing old for wives of intercourse obsessed men is that they don't have to endure so much pounding as the years go by. Maybe he gets a little less hard than he used to, so the intercourse gets less poundy and more grindy and maybe her poor oft-ignored clit will get a little stimulation against his pelvis during this new grindier intercourse. Maybe he'll take longer to get hard and thus spend more time on manual or oral stimulation. I mean, the beauty of dudes having a harder time getting or keeping erections (if they don't freak out and obsess over themselves) is that there is room for more creativity and focus on their partner's pleasure. This is the secret and underappreciated jewel of hetero couples getting older that Viagra has stolen. Damn shame.

Samantha and the Viagra
So, I just don't like the whole storyline about Samantha having WAY better sex with Viagra. In a healthy no-having-problems-getting-erections man Viagra just serves to keep a dude hard for a long time. He might stay hard between ejaculations or get hard really quick after one. So, it really just helps him fuck more, and that only makes sex super amazing for a woman if we are believing the incorrect yet really popular myth that women vaginally orgasm. There's no physical evidence for that anywhere in scientific literature. It's largely BS, and so is that storyline. In no way did him taking Viagra help her clit get stimulation, so how's it gonna help her orgasm? Her taking Viagra being hot...well, there is placebo effect, which is a kind of real effect. There also might maybe be some evidence that it helps blood flow for some women, but maybe not. Anyway, if she likes it fine, but I don't like the insinuation that a woman taking Viagra will somehow make her orgasm like crazy, because that is absolutely incorrect.

All the Other Stuff
1. Miranda orgasms during intercourse with no additional clitoral stimulation, and she's just lying there still. She's not even trying to grind her clit against his pelvis for stimulation. Bull. Shit. That's some porn inspired nonsense depictions of women coming from nothing but a dick in their hole. Sadly, it's also a super common and seemingly normal way to depict a woman orgasming.

2. Later, Samantha does not come while doing the exact same thing Miranda was doing. Why? Because she doesn't like the guy or the situation, and there is a bad habit in TV and movies of depicting the orgasmic possibilities of intercourse for women based on whether the guy is right or not. Granted, it's 100% true that your state of mind affects your arousal which affects you ability to come, but intercourse by itself without additional clitoral stimulation doesn't cause orgasm in women at all. So, showing that it does when the guy is right is 1. not physically accurate and 2. only reiterates the stupid and wrong stereotype that female orgasm is soooo much more related to emotion than male orgasm. So, puke on that.

3. Neither the bad spunk thing nor the story about Carrie's first time are actually SSL Reviewable because they aren't about lady-gasm, lady-bation, or clits. I was still dialing in exactly how these SSL Reviews would be handled.

4. Clearly, I'm learning the character's names by this point. I didn't call them by their hair color or main personality characteristic.

Eds taking her turn sitting on it, but being kind enough to not block the parts I'm still copying


Crazy Ex Girfriend S1 Ep2: The SSL Review

Crazy Ex Girlfriend 
My sister and my niece are watching this show, and they were all like, "You should watch this," and I was all like, "fine." And then I realized that this was the show created by/starring Rachel Bloom, a woman that gave a bad-ass Orgasm Equality, Cliterific rant on Twitter earlier this year. She's on the ol' Orgasm Equality Allies list, people. So, when I realized this, I actually for real decided to watch because I hoped there could be some stellar SSL Reviews.

I'm only on episode 4, so I don't have much yet. However, there has been 1 SSL Reviewable moments so far, and it will be getting a positive review. So, for a reminder, SSL Reviews only involve depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman? Did she come from getting her neck licked? - 'cause that's dumb and I will call BS) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Season 1 Ep2: Orgasming Instantly
So, first off, it's important to know that this show is a full-on musical. The characters are always dropping into song, and they're all generally made for laughs as well as made to move the plot along or reveal inner feelings  - you know musical stuff. It's actually a pretty funny show when it gets going, and I do enjoy a musical, so I'm all in with binging this one.

Anyway, what's happening in this scene is that the main character Rebecca is in a yoga class led by a woman, Valencia, that her crush is dating. Valencia is fit and beautiful and great at yoga. Rebecca is not so great at yoga and also fears that Valencia is like perfection and could never be lived up to. So, during the yoga class, a musical number begins where Valencia is singing about how good at yoga she is, and it continues with her talking about all these other things that make her like a superior girlfriend.

One of the things she says is "I orgasm instantly!"

So that's it, that's the SSL Reviewable moment. The reason I kinda like this is not because it's a like progressive discussion of how women actually orgasm or anything, but because it is a realistic expression of what women fear about the orgasm capabilities of other women.

The song is clearly about all the ridiculous feelings of inferiority Rebecca has in comparing herself to Valencia, and although the song is through Valencia's voice, there's no question the song is really just an expression of Rebecca's insecurities.

Valencia says things like: "I'm so much better than you," "My father didn't leave me," "I do shit with my body that no human should be able to do," and my fave "Anal doesn't hurt at all. Most times I prefer it."

My Take (AKA the SSL Review part)
So, Valencia saying in this song that she orgasms instantly goes nicely with her admission of how much she likes anal. Both of them stem from women worrying that other women are sooooo much better in bed than they are (i.e. other women do and enjoy all the things we believe men love), and that worry, in turn, stems from the fact that our culture has an incorrect and confused understanding of female orgasm.

Let's break this down what I mean about culture's confused and incorrect understanding of orgasm, shall we? (*I do kinda break this down in lots more detail in the movie this blog expands on - Science, Sex and the Ladies - if you want more):
  • Intercourse is THE thing to do for hetero couples. It's expected, normal, accepted, and there is a general sense in our culture that it should be just as orgasmic for women as it is for men. 
  • Buuuuut....Intercourse is actually NOT as orgasmic for women as it is for men...and that's not because of bad technique or something like that. It's because women don't orgasm from stimulation inside the vagina. Seriously - there is absolutely no physical evidence of orgasm from stimulation inside the vagina in scientific literature...none. (ejaculation can happen this way for some, but ejaculation is not the same as orgasm - in men or in women). Women need outer clit/vulva stimulation and men need penile stimulation to orgasm. Only 1 of those things happens necessarily with intercourse. 
  • Not being able to orgasm from intercourse was officially deemed a psychological problem up until the 70's and women still often feel like failures and seek medical help if they cannot do this (and the professional medical community still largely goes about this problem like it is actually a problem instead of a normal thing that makes sense...which is insane. It's like seriously looking for a solution to a person who comes to you saying they have trouble blowing their nose through their ears. It's insane - did I already say that? ) 
  • Women in TV, movies, books, porn, jokes - they all orgasm quickly, and often for way too long than is physically possible, from a little in-out (this is rampant fictitious BS that we are force fed from birth)
  • Sex ed doesn't usually talk about the clit since it has nothing to do with reproduction - only pleasure. In fact our whole culture tends to ignore the clit...or only speak of it as merely one of a woman's many pleasure points, as if the vaginal canal, the nipples, or the back of the neck are as important to orgasm as the clit. People don't pull that shit with penises. We as a culture KNOW males need their penises messed with to orgasm. The outer clitoral glans is as important to female orgasm as penises are to male orgasm, but it's almost never treated that way. #Cliteracy
Okay, so given all that above, it really just makes sense that we women are insecure about how we experience/don't experience orgasm with partners because the reality of women's bodily capabilities rarely match up with the kinds of things we learn and see and talk about in our culture regarding lady-gasms. For instance, oh I don't know, have you EVER seen a woman in TV or a movies that reached down and rubbed her clit to orgasm while she was getting fucked by a man...or even one where the man reached down? How about a woman vibing her clit during intercourse without seeming to bother the male character in that scenario? Probably not, and if you have you can probably count it on 1 finger. Now that's some bull shit because females need outer clitoral stimulation to orgasm, yet people don't get to see women orgasming that way very often except for the occasional depiction of cunnilingus or masturbation (and even those aren't depicted realistically all the time). Realistic ways of reaching orgasm during hetero sexual encounters are rarely modeled for women the way we consistently see them modeled for men.

So, obviously, we ladies (and men too) are confused and misinformed about how exactly a female is supposed to reach orgasm. The expectations on how women should perform (and orgasm) during a sexual encounter are often extreme and more related to what would be easy and enjoyable to the male partner (orgasming instantly during intercourse, for instance?) than to a female's actual bodily abilities for orgasm, and all that makes us ladies scared and uncomfortable and certain that we are the wierd ones. It seems like other women must have an easier, sexier time orgasming in normal sexual situations...otherwise why would that be all we see out there in the world?

So, all that up there is what I hear when Valencia, embodying Rebecca's insecurities about how other women are better in bed, says she "orgasms instantly." That type of insecurity rings true to the female experience for all the terribly misinformed reasons we just talked about. I like seeing that female perspective, and I think seeing a woman on TV with that fear helps to expose its ridiculousness because it starts to uncover for the viewer the reality that other women feel that way too. It starts to reveal that most women feel alone and strange and lesser than these 'other' women who are better at orgasm stuff...and if most other women feel that way, then maybe this idea of 'other' women who are sooo good at having orgasms the way women are supposed to have orgasms - is just a big mythical pile of bull shit. That is what women speaking truths to other women can do.

TheVulva Rating
I definitely like that women-speaking-truths-to-other-women part about this SSL Reviewable moment in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, but it's not like way super progressive or anything. It's a little more like a solid moment of female perspective in the writing that I dug deep into. It's good, but it's not like 5 vulva rating good. So, I give the a 4 vulva rating. Good work, Crazy Ex Girlfriend team!


***So, the Crazy Ex Girlfriend Fan Club @bunch _of_fans were awesome and tweeted me the explicit version of the musical number discussed above. Turns out, the "I orgasm instantly" line was actually written (before censor-proofing) as "I come vaginally." Uh, I love it. That is exactly what I thought the intention of that line was, and it makes it even more bold and awesome. I am tempted to up the rating a 1/2 vulva, but nah - I think this show will have plenty of excellent SSL Reviews in the future! Thanks again for the tip @bunch _of_fans!


Playboy 2006 SSL Review - May

Why I have a stack of decade old Playboys that I'm SSL Reviewing
Long story short I took them from my parents house thinking I would review them for this blog and then didn't actually do that for over 10 years but now want them the hell out of my house because I hate clutter and don't know how I've not thrown them away all these years. Also, I thought I had all 12 months, but some are gone. If you want the longer story, check out the 1st 2006 Playboy SSL Review I did.

SSL Review Basics
An SSL review - as many of you know is a critique ONLY of discussions or depictions of female masturbation and/or female orgasm. I critique the realism and also what the depiction/discussion adds to our culture conversations on the topics of female sexuality and orgasm. I usually do these SSL Reviews for either movies or TV, but magazines are fun from time to time. This SSL Review will be a bit more relaxed and simple than most. I'd like to have a little fun here (but I will still give it a vulva rating).

So, please enjoy the full SSL Review of the Playboy Magazine from March 2006. I will review each SSL Reviewable item starting from the front of the magazine to the back.

 1 Playboy Advisor

Thanks for publishing the question from the woman about having sex while high. I had been struggling with reaching orgasm, but when I smoked a little weed 2 nights this week, I had the biggest and best climaxes of my life. I had seen a doctor, switched my birth-control pills, masturbated - everything I could think of. Who knew reefer would be the answer?   -J.P., Chicago, IL
Glad we could help. Your assignment is to continue to search for other ways you could relax yourself to orgasm so you are bale to approach it from different directions (now we're starting to sound like a mystic.
I mean, hey, sometimes a gal's just gotta use a little something to get her mind to focus on the shit that's happening to her body, ya know...to let the pleasurable touches arouse her so she's primed to reach orgasm when the right stimulation come along.

Granted, this lady does not say what exactly was happening to her to get her to reach her top-notch orgasm. Was it some sweet manual or oral stimulation direct to the clit/vulva area, or maybe she grinded that clit the right way up against her partner while having intercourse? Who knows. I'm also not sure if she meant she was struggling to come for the first time ever...or just trying to come during intercourse - because honestly a lot of women talk about orgasm during intercourse as like the orgasm - and not having an orgasm that way often makes women think they're broken and they go to doctors and shit like this woman did (even though orgasm from stimulation inside the vagina is like not really a thing).

Either way, it's lovely she came, and it really does make sense that (as long as there is appropriate stimulation to the clit or penis area, of course) sometimes a person struggling with arousal and/or orgasm might be helped by getting a touch high. You see, getting aroused to the point of orgasm will just happen with appropriate physical stimulation, but (and this is a big but) the mind can halt that process for all kinds of reasons, so getting high might help a person keep their focus on the their body, their pleasure,and the present situation in a way that keeps the mind from halting the arousal process. Then again, for others, getting a touch high might make them paranoid as hell and put their minds on everything BUT the present sexual pleasures they are experiencing. 'Cause - you know -arousal is tricky and personal. You gotta figure out what works for you (and then if you want to actually orgasm make sure the clit is getting the attention it deserves while you are aroused enough to get there).

2 Raw Data

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes
This was a fun fact on this page, but I'm skeptical. Looking internet stuff up on this, it seems this is only in relation to male pigs because there's just not data about if and how female pigs orgasm. It's also in relation to ejaculation not necessarily orgasm - because orgasm and ejaculation absolutely are 2 different things for both men and women, but in men they most often happen at about the same time and in women ejaculation mostly doesn't happen at all. The two words are frequently used interchangeably even though they shouldn't be.

So, not to the whole 30 minute orgasm situation. The physical part of an orgasm is defined loosely as the rhythmic release of muscle tension built up through arousal in the pelvic muscles. So, and this goes for all the BS talk of women orgasming for 30 minutes as well, you simply can't be releasing muscle tension for that long. There's only so much tension to release. You can be aroused for 30 minutes, but physically orgasming for 30 minutes just doesn't make any goddamn sense.

Anyway, it seems pigs do ejaculate (that is expel semen out) for an extraordinarily long amount of time, but there's no evidence they orgasm for that long.

3 Playboy Party Jokes

A man met a blonde in a bar, and after a few drinks they went back to her place and had wild, passionate sex. "I guess that was just about the best sex you ever had, " he said when they were done.   "What makes you say that?" she asked.    "Well," he replied, "while we were doing it, I couldn't help notice how I made your toes curl."    ""Oh,"she said, "that was just because most men take off my panty hose first."
I mean, honestly, as Playboy jokes go, this one was pretty solid because they are often less than humorous. Anyway, this kinda speaks about orgasm so I'm SSL reviewing it. I'm actually not sure what to say about it in a critical way. It's just a joke about how dumb men are about pleasing women, I think. I don't have strong feeling about this one, so I'll leave it at that.

The Vulva Rating
This was a pretty light SSL Review Playboy, and none of it was that problematic. It wasn't progressive or anything either. So, I'm going to give this one a bit better than neutral. The May 2006 Playboy gets a 3 1/2 vulva rating.