Insecure S2 Ep7
I watched seasons 1 and 2 of Insecure last fall and took notes, but hadn't gotten to writing any SSL Reviews until this past September. Much like that first Insecure SSL Review, this SSL Review will not be given a high Vulva Rating. Again, this scene was a really basic - and terribly unrealistic - sex scenario were a dude bangs a woman and she orgasms with no thought of the clit at all. There are really a lot of scenes like this in Insecure, except most of them cut before we see anyone orgasm. We're just left to assume that what they were doing, which is ramming a P into a V with absolutely no clit stimulation, was supposed to be orgasmic for both parties. I mean, that's pretty much the status quo for sex scenes in general whether they be on TV, movies or porn, so it's not surprising, but like I said in that other post, I was hoping for better.
SSL Reviews
As a quick reminder, SSL Reviews are depiction or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. Only those specific things are reviewed - other discussions or depictions of sex or sexuality not within the above confines are for the most part not of interest to me. In these reviews, I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.
You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).
Fucked on a sink - S2 Ep7
The scene in question is a pretty simple one. I won't put in a lot of details about the people and circumstances surrounding this scene so I don't spoil anything. However, I want to say that I think there is a discussion related to this scene around sexual responsibility, how people in relationships consider each other, and about how pushing for sex irresponsibly and giving into sex that is not healthy are things that happen all too often and naturally in part due to our internalized gender roles. But that's a whole other blog. On to the scene description:
Molly is getting fucked by a guy in the bathroom. She is sitting on a sink, facing out. He is standing and facing her. They are having intercourse. They are fully clothed, but she's got a skirt on, so I guess the panties are just pulled to the side or something. He's just got his jeans undone and pulled down enough so we just see the top of his ass (which is actually pretty hot looking).
They are pressed close. Their arms are around each other (and definitely nowhere near her clit). He's definitely pushing in and out of her, so much so that she is getting bounced kind of up and down, but their bodies remain close, and when we see it from behind him, he does have a tiny bit of circular motion in his in-out movement.
She says "Okaaaay. Okaaaay. I'm almost there. I'm almost there," and then she exhales and kind of sighs as if she just came. He stops with a similar exhausted, satiated kind of feel -as if they both just came at the exact same time.
The SSL Review
So, if you read this blog, you know what I'm 'bout to say. This scene is basically just one of trillions you've seen in your life where a man and woman have quick sex. We see them banging their junk against each other, hot intercourse style, and then they both come at the same time. These scenes help get into our heads from a young age the assumption that if a man and a woman fuck passionately enough, it will end in an amazing orgasm for both parties - probably at the same time.
It's a lovely story and one that certainly still plays out in my masturbation fantasies, but it's a sad shitty lie that leads to a dude getting to bone a vagina to his own orgasm and a woman...getting boned. Maybe she outright fakes an orgasm; maybe she moans and screams because it feels so hot and considers that an orgasm; maybe she makes all sorts of sexy satisfied sounds that make him feel like she orgasmsed but she really doesn't consider it 'faking;' maybe she just doesn't orgasm at all and is either fine with it or resentful of it, or just confused as to why it didn't happen when it was supposed to; maybe she is just enjoying the feel of it - but what is just very physically unlikely to happen is that she actually does orgasm.
And she's not likely to orgasm because it's also unlikely that her clit is stimulated. It's unlikely that someone puts a hand or vibe down against her vulva/clit area to actually get her off. It also probably doesn't happen that everything goes just right (including the dude's understanding and willingness to let her control the motions or the woman's understanding that it's even an option) to where she is able to grind her clit against him as she's getting fucked in such a way that she gets enough consistent clitoral glans stimulation so she can come.
Maybe every 1 in 10,000 times a woman is fucked like Molly was in this scene, the stars align and she's able to come because she was crazy aroused when it started and the movement going on during the fucking - without any intentional clit directed movement from either party- happened to stimulate the clit just enough to make her come. I mean that could happen, but it's absolutely bonkers insane that the the large part of how we understand and depict female orgasm banks on this incredibly unrealistic expectation. Let me be clear. Inner vaginal stimulation does not lady-gasms make, and any depiction that implies it does is unrealistic and overall negative for a realistic understanding of female orgasm in out culture.
I will say I'll give a little credit to the fact that the dude's ass was moving a little bit in a circular motion while he was banging into her because if she is going to orgasm during intercourse without any additional clit/vuvla stimulation, it would likely only be because there is grinding between her clitoral glans and his body. His butt's (pretty sexy) circular motion gives the sense that there could be grinding.
However, I'm also not giving it much credit because she was not grinding. She was clearly getting bounced up and down, and she was exhibiting no control over the pelvic movement. Just because his ass moved slightly in a way beyond just straight in-out pounding in no way means she is getting the kind of direct, continuous grinding a clit would need to orgasm. It probably just means he read in a magazine once that he should do more of a screwing motion when he's fucking a woman to make her like it more. That's the kind of half-assed, ignorant of lady-gasm-physiology advice we're all getting all the time. The screwing motion of the dude isn't what's important. It's that the clit needs stimulated and if a woman can grind against the man in a way that works for her while she's getting banged, she might come, but that's up to her body so much more than his.
Vulva Rating
So, this is just another scene to lay upon the pile of scenes that reiterate the incorrect assumption permeating both men and women's brains that women should just come when a penis bangs in her vagina. These types of depictions contribute so much of women's self-doubt and confusion regarding their orgasm, and is overall harmful for hetero sex. But, they're not uncommon or outside of the popular understanding of sex, so it's hard to blame the creators for including this kind of scene. It's shitty, but not in a malicious way or particularly backwards in regard to the status quo. With that, I will give this a 2 out of 5 vulva rating.
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