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Showing posts with label bathroom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bathroom. Show all posts
3.08.2019
Insecure S2 Ep7 - The SSL Review
Insecure S2 Ep7
I watched seasons 1 and 2 of Insecure last fall and took notes, but hadn't gotten to writing any SSL Reviews until this past September. Much like that first Insecure SSL Review, this SSL Review will not be given a high Vulva Rating. Again, this scene was a really basic - and terribly unrealistic - sex scenario were a dude bangs a woman and she orgasms with no thought of the clit at all. There are really a lot of scenes like this in Insecure, except most of them cut before we see anyone orgasm. We're just left to assume that what they were doing, which is ramming a P into a V with absolutely no clit stimulation, was supposed to be orgasmic for both parties. I mean, that's pretty much the status quo for sex scenes in general whether they be on TV, movies or porn, so it's not surprising, but like I said in that other post, I was hoping for better.
SSL Reviews
As a quick reminder, SSL Reviews are depiction or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. Only those specific things are reviewed - other discussions or depictions of sex or sexuality not within the above confines are for the most part not of interest to me. In these reviews, I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.
You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).
Fucked on a sink - S2 Ep7
The scene in question is a pretty simple one. I won't put in a lot of details about the people and circumstances surrounding this scene so I don't spoil anything. However, I want to say that I think there is a discussion related to this scene around sexual responsibility, how people in relationships consider each other, and about how pushing for sex irresponsibly and giving into sex that is not healthy are things that happen all too often and naturally in part due to our internalized gender roles. But that's a whole other blog. On to the scene description:
Molly is getting fucked by a guy in the bathroom. She is sitting on a sink, facing out. He is standing and facing her. They are having intercourse. They are fully clothed, but she's got a skirt on, so I guess the panties are just pulled to the side or something. He's just got his jeans undone and pulled down enough so we just see the top of his ass (which is actually pretty hot looking).
They are pressed close. Their arms are around each other (and definitely nowhere near her clit). He's definitely pushing in and out of her, so much so that she is getting bounced kind of up and down, but their bodies remain close, and when we see it from behind him, he does have a tiny bit of circular motion in his in-out movement.
She says "Okaaaay. Okaaaay. I'm almost there. I'm almost there," and then she exhales and kind of sighs as if she just came. He stops with a similar exhausted, satiated kind of feel -as if they both just came at the exact same time.
The SSL Review
So, if you read this blog, you know what I'm 'bout to say. This scene is basically just one of trillions you've seen in your life where a man and woman have quick sex. We see them banging their junk against each other, hot intercourse style, and then they both come at the same time. These scenes help get into our heads from a young age the assumption that if a man and a woman fuck passionately enough, it will end in an amazing orgasm for both parties - probably at the same time.
It's a lovely story and one that certainly still plays out in my masturbation fantasies, but it's a sad shitty lie that leads to a dude getting to bone a vagina to his own orgasm and a woman...getting boned. Maybe she outright fakes an orgasm; maybe she moans and screams because it feels so hot and considers that an orgasm; maybe she makes all sorts of sexy satisfied sounds that make him feel like she orgasmsed but she really doesn't consider it 'faking;' maybe she just doesn't orgasm at all and is either fine with it or resentful of it, or just confused as to why it didn't happen when it was supposed to; maybe she is just enjoying the feel of it - but what is just very physically unlikely to happen is that she actually does orgasm.
And she's not likely to orgasm because it's also unlikely that her clit is stimulated. It's unlikely that someone puts a hand or vibe down against her vulva/clit area to actually get her off. It also probably doesn't happen that everything goes just right (including the dude's understanding and willingness to let her control the motions or the woman's understanding that it's even an option) to where she is able to grind her clit against him as she's getting fucked in such a way that she gets enough consistent clitoral glans stimulation so she can come.
Maybe every 1 in 10,000 times a woman is fucked like Molly was in this scene, the stars align and she's able to come because she was crazy aroused when it started and the movement going on during the fucking - without any intentional clit directed movement from either party- happened to stimulate the clit just enough to make her come. I mean that could happen, but it's absolutely bonkers insane that the the large part of how we understand and depict female orgasm banks on this incredibly unrealistic expectation. Let me be clear. Inner vaginal stimulation does not lady-gasms make, and any depiction that implies it does is unrealistic and overall negative for a realistic understanding of female orgasm in out culture.
I will say I'll give a little credit to the fact that the dude's ass was moving a little bit in a circular motion while he was banging into her because if she is going to orgasm during intercourse without any additional clit/vuvla stimulation, it would likely only be because there is grinding between her clitoral glans and his body. His butt's (pretty sexy) circular motion gives the sense that there could be grinding.
However, I'm also not giving it much credit because she was not grinding. She was clearly getting bounced up and down, and she was exhibiting no control over the pelvic movement. Just because his ass moved slightly in a way beyond just straight in-out pounding in no way means she is getting the kind of direct, continuous grinding a clit would need to orgasm. It probably just means he read in a magazine once that he should do more of a screwing motion when he's fucking a woman to make her like it more. That's the kind of half-assed, ignorant of lady-gasm-physiology advice we're all getting all the time. The screwing motion of the dude isn't what's important. It's that the clit needs stimulated and if a woman can grind against the man in a way that works for her while she's getting banged, she might come, but that's up to her body so much more than his.
Vulva Rating
So, this is just another scene to lay upon the pile of scenes that reiterate the incorrect assumption permeating both men and women's brains that women should just come when a penis bangs in her vagina. These types of depictions contribute so much of women's self-doubt and confusion regarding their orgasm, and is overall harmful for hetero sex. But, they're not uncommon or outside of the popular understanding of sex, so it's hard to blame the creators for including this kind of scene. It's shitty, but not in a malicious way or particularly backwards in regard to the status quo. With that, I will give this a 2 out of 5 vulva rating.
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4.25.2016
Broad City S3 Ep 1&2: The SSL Review
This is an SSL Review for one of my very, veriest favorites - Broad City. Goddamn if this show isn't one of the funniest I've seen, and it has all kinds of SSL Reviewable things (SSL review is exclusively the review of discussions/depictions of female orgasm or masturbation. It tends to focus on a discussion of realism and what the depiction/discussion means in the larger cultural discussion about female orgasm and sexuality - You can see a list of movie SSL reviews HERE if you're interested). However, I haven't always kept track of them to do SSL Reviews, so I'm starting here, and I'll slowly go back through older episodes. Anyway, I think this should be quick. Let me begin.
S3 Episode 1
Opening Bathroom Montage
At the beginning of this episode the screen is split between Ilana and Abbi's bathrooms. We get a montage from each side of a bunch of shit that happens in each room. It's a solid intro - top-notch really. But what caught my eye was one scenario where Ilana was getting eaten out while sitting on the toilet. It was all of 3 seconds, but it looks like she's just heading into her orgasm.
Here's the deets: She is siting on the toilet facing the audience. One leg is on the dude's shoulder (I think it's Lincoln - the dude's wearing scrubs). The other is on the ledge of the tub. Her hands are down. She's wearing a T-shirt that says "candy is dandy" (that's irrelevant), and no pants, socks, or shoes. As it cuts in, Ilana's hands are raising up from her lap, and her face has a tell-tale expectant, kinda strained expression that moves quickly to an exhale as her arms raise into a triumphant air pump with peace signs from both hands. To me, it's one of my most favorite orgasm depictions of all times. It's joyous, unabashed, non-fakey, and her face seemed to play it really right. Plus, what was happening to her at the time - a dude had his face area on her clit/vulva area - was clearly a realistic way one might elicit orgasm in a woman.
Saudi Women Scene
So, Abbi is waiting on Ilana to show up for brunch, and when Ilana gets there, she says,
"I'm sorry I was late. I got into this depressing article matrix about these Saudi women who have to ask their keepers permission to leave the house, like uh please. I just was so pissed I had to blow off some steam and masturbate first.Then Abbi's all like - whatever we need to get this table quick, and Ilana goes on,
"I'm really sorry, you just would not have wanted to have see me if I hadn't masturbated."I mean what is there not to love about that (except, of course, the Saudi women situation). Any time a woman is depicted as being unabashed in her masturbation endeavors the way men often are, I'm way behind that. It gives the normalcy of lady-bation a tiddy tiny boost. Plus, masturbation is funny, and men have been using it as comedy for years. So on a comic level, I love this show's liberal use of masturbation in to hit on that largely untapped humor inherent in female sexuality and masturbation....what I'm saying is it's also just good comedy.
S3 Episode 2
Ilana's Request
Ilana gets in car with Lincoln and she's super nervous. They talk for a while and then Ilana get's overwhelmed starts climbing into his lap as he's driving. She says,
"Oh god, I need to be swaddled."Lincoln, quite rightly, protests this situation because, ya know, it makes him not be able to drive.
"Come on. if your not gonna swaddle me, at least let me drive and give me road head."Lincoln says,
"Do you wanna die, and how does that even work?"To which Lana replies,
"Road hand, whatever. Just quit the pillow talk and get me off."She gets out of his lap and calms down and they go on talking.
It's perfect. It's so simple, and easy, and casual. That element of her that desires sexual gratification without necessarily reciprocating is a character element few women in media are afforded, and here it's played for laughs, but not because that part of her makes her ridiculous or funny. It's just that it's a part of her, and the way she expressed it in the moment was funny. She is asking Lincoln to give her head/hand, and she's kinda not necessarily serious (because you can't just like force people to do that, right?) but maybe kinda serious - like...'I'm just putting that out there, so if you want to...'
My point is that this is fantastic because it normalizes a woman's straight up desire and entitlement to orgasm just ever so slightly. I mean this little line in this little TV show didn't even the cultural playing field of male vs. female feelings of entitlement to desire and orgasm, but it's a step in the right direction for a little balance out there. Bravo, Broad City. Bravo.
Ilana's Reaction
This isn't really something that is eligible for SSL Review, but Ilana's reaction when Lincoln tells her he was with another girl made me fall in love 100 times over with this show. That's all I will say, 'cause you don't need me spoiling it. WATCH THIS SHOW.
Vulva Rating
For the realistically depicted orgasm from cunnilingus and the scenes that function to further normalize female masturbation, and desire for un-reciprocated orgasm (and because it was all funny to boot), I give these episodes a full 5 vulva rating!
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