5 Movies With Rich Folk #DirectedByWomen

I started doing this categorized List of 5 movies thing where I showcase movies that were directed by women and that I have actually seen. It all started during the Directed By Women Worldwide Viewing Party in September 2015, and it was pretty fun, so I've continued doing it from time to time.

It's a bit off-topic from my normal fare, ya know, being that it's not specifically about lady-gasms or anything like that, but I think it fits the blog because
1. this blog is also about indie movie-making, and
2. this blog is partially about getting the female perspective of sexuality into our media. So, to me, supporting female voices in our media  means we're creating more room for female voices to speak on all types of things, which sometimes will be sex, orgasms, and sexuality.

You can find all my 5-movie lists HERE.

The movies in this list all include rich characters doing the things rick folk be doin'.  Not everybody in these movies are rich, and it doesn't always revolve around them being rich, but they are. It's classic, right? People in movies are always rich and drinking wine with dinner and wearing nice shit in beautiful homes. Well, here's a list of 5 movies directed by women that got these rich bitches in 'em.

Please do get some caviar a bold wine, and choose one of these lady-directed movies.

1 Orlando is directed Sally Potter. I read something about this. I can’t remember where, and rented it on amazon this past summer. I kinda wanna watch it again. It’s a lot to take in. I’ve never read the book it was based on, but I hear it’s screen written to have the same feel, but not exactly the same plot. I appreciate that in a book-to-movie story that, and I thought this movie was pretty bad ass. Recommended for those that like a little bit of slow and weird in their movies.

2 Ride is directed by Helen Hunt. She wrote it too. I just kinda checked this out last summer on some streaming media source. I got though it, but honestly, it was not my fave movie, and Helen Hunt’s character was rich in the most obnoxious way, but ya know, maybe you’ll be into it.

3 Prince of Tides was directed by Barbra Streisand. I remember this movie being very big at a point in time where I was too young to watch it. I don’t know what I thought this was, but I feel like my expectation for this movie was mixed in with my understanding of what the Fisher King was supposed to be like. Anyway, I was kinda off base, but I ended up liking this movie. It seems like a very classic, well-done movie to me, and it’s like almost 30 years old and it held up enough. And of course, there’s definitely rich folk in it doing rich folk things.

4 Somewhere was directed by Sofia Coppola. It’s a about a movie star, so clearly lots of rich nonsense happening. Anyway, I saw this several years ago - probably closer to when it came out in 2010 on DVD. I can’t remember exactly what it was about, but I know we watched it because we like Coppola’s other work. I liked this one, but I don’t recall it as one of my faves from her. It might be a good one to watch again.

5 You’ve Got Mail was directed by Nora Ephron. I know I saw this back in the day closer to when it came out, but I also randomly saw it twice recently, both in hotel rooms. I mean, I guess i saw pieces of it recently. I love a romcom, but I’m not a huge fan of Meg Ryan, so this isn’t really my cup of meat. It’s hardcore formula. I mean those two romantic leads hate each other so much that they might as well just fuck and get it over with already, amiright??? Anyway, it’s a movie, and might watch it a little if it’s on.


Inside Amy Schumer - S2 Ep1

Inside Amy Schumer 
This show makes me laugh, and here's the best part - Amy Schumer tends to bring it when it comes to realism and female sexuality. She brought it in her movie Trainwreck, in The Joe Rogan Podcast, and largely in the other episodes of this show I've SSL Reviewed so far. She has shown a strong willingness to give the clit the glory it deserves, speak some truths about lady sex experiences, rep for actual lady-gasms - all things largely absent in media and also incredibly important to Orgasm Equality. (She could use some schooling and humbling when it comes to speaking about race though - but that's pretty true of a lot of us).

The SSL Reviewable
There is plenty to SSL Review in this show. And for those that don't yet know, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

The SSL Review

Season 2 Episode 1: A Car Accident
The end of almost all Inside Amy Schumer shows is her doing a piece of her stand-up to a small crowd. That's where we are for this first SSL Review.

She's telling the crowd that she's jealous of how dudes get to come. It seems fun...and not just because they get to spread their funfetti around. She pantomimes dude spreading their cum around like Oprah giving away free cars. No, it's because they're so ridiculously tired, satisfied, and disoriented after - like they were just in a car accident or something.

Then she ends with, "We're not like that. I need more recovery time after a sneeze than an orgasm." 

My Comments
First off, I just want to mention that clearly her saying this is funnier than reading my description of her saying it. That's a given. Well... I guess I can think of one incident where hearing a detailed description of a thing was way better than the thing itself - and that was when Tosh.0 gave a 25 minute detailed explanation of the movie Human Centipede. I can only find abridged versions of this now, but if you find the full version, I recommend that over the actual movie.

Anyway, Amy's saying this. She's got gestures and an attitude, and it works for humor. I like the visual of calling dudes ejaculating 'spreading their funfetti.' It's good for a laugh. However, I think if you get to the kernel of this bit, it doesn't hold up for me as the kind of humor-through-hard-truth-telling that really excites me about some of Amy's lady-related sex comedy. She's basically coming at this from - 'dudes get all tired/satisfied after an orgasm and women don't.' To me that kernel doesn't feel necessarily true. I mean I feel like a good orgasm can make a lady just wanna flop down and lay there for a while, ya know. 

Also...it's kind of a tired, not-that-perceptive premise for talking about differences  between men and women during sex. I feel like I've heard it a lot. I remember a bit I saw some comic do a while ago...I feel like it was Chris Rock, but I'm not sure...about how men fall asleep after an orgasm and women get more activated and start bouncing off walls and shit. Louis C.K. also did a bit where he basically said that men go to sleep and women don't after sex because men actually came and women didn't. I mean he actually never used the word come, he instead speaks about it in terms of women not being 'fucked well' enough to satisfy them - which is of course problematic because 'fucking' a woman is not what she needs anyway. Vag-banging ain't gonna get her there. A lady actually needs clit stimulation to come, and C.K. completely misses that point. However, his basic premise that women don't get all drowsy and shit after sex like men do because they are actually not physically satiated  (i.e. they didn't actually come) is not wrong. And, it seems to me a bit more in the humor-through-hard-truth-telling realm than Amy's kind of generic dudes-get-all-tired-satisfied-after-an-orgasm-and-women-don't-and-I'm-jealous thing.  

All that to say, I feel like Amy's whole joke here was funny on the surface, and thus not unsuccessful, but also it was kinda stale in that it played on old stereotypes about female sexuality without criticizing or more deeply examining those. I mean, it seems to me that it's worth considering that if a woman isn't as tired-disoriented after her 'orgasm' as her male partner is, then maybe she didn't actually orgasm. Maybe she just faked it or had intercourse (a thing people still very wrongly use interchangeably with 'had an orgasm') and just didn't come. Like, maybe there's a stereotype of women not acting satiated after sex or "having an orgasm" because lots of times ladies literally are not satiated. They didn't come and their male partner did...maybe that's why they seem to act different after. I feel like Amy missed her opportunity to dig into that. And by not digging into that, in essence she reiterated the pretty incorrect idea that women's orgasms are somehow intrinsically different than men's, and completely ignored what I think would be a pretty humor-through-hard-truth-telling avenue of pointing out why that stereotype exists in the first place.

But that's just, like, my opinion, man. Humor is a tricky thing, and I'm being picky. Picky because I respect her comedic work generally on these topics, so really it's just a loving critique to a person who in general does a fab-ass job with this kind of shit. And that's what SSL Reviews are about anyway - being uber-critical...because someone has to be.

The Vulva Rating
So, there is nothing revolutionary or progressive about Amy's joke. In fact it kind of bolstered the idea that women and men are naturally, physically different when it comes to orgasms. At the same time, it's also just neutral. It plays off a tired old stereotype, yet doesn't really make it any worse with extra inaccuracies or anything. It just doesn't question and dissect the stereotype, which does inadvertently reiterate it, but also....what I'm asking is a lot to ask someone to do every time she speaks of lady sex stuff. She does it well most of the time, and I'm heavily appreciative.

So, I'm going to stick to a very neutral 3 out of 5 vulva rating for this episode.



Random Hite Report #30

Hello, welcome again to one of my favorite segments on the SSL blog, Random Hite Report! It's simple really. I flip through the pages of the The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality  (or sometimes The Hite Report on Male Sexuality) by a one Ms. Shere Hite and copy the contents of the page where I land - no more no less. Anyone who reads my blog will know that this 1976 book is a fave of mine; not only because of its realistic and progressive insight about the female orgasm that is still shockingly relevant 40 years later,  but also because of its very touching insight into the lives of the women who took part in this huge, comprehensive survey. This is an under-appreciated and under-read book if you ask me - I suggest you buy it online (seriously, you can get them for like 1 cent) and read it.

 So, sit back, getcha a beverage, and enjoy a little...Random Hite Report.

The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality Dell. 1976.
Pg. 563 From the section Touching Is Sex Too in the chapter "Toward A New Female Sexuality."

...calming beyond belief. His delight in it all tells me volumes about his generous look on life."
    In reality, it is likely that men do like physical intimacy and affectionate contact as much as women do, but are afraid to express these feelings.

Not only is touching men outside of sex generally impossible, but touching other women in friendship is not generally acceptable either.
    "Sometimes I get so angry at this society for being so cold. There are so many times I would llike to kiss a girl friend or hug her or even put my arm around her but I can't because she would be horrified, and think I was a lesbian. Damn, that makes me angry."
    "I would like to touch some people, but hesitate because they are aware of my 'sexual preference,' and this makes me and them uncomfortable. It's awfully hard to explain to an old friend that I only want to hug her because she is an old friend and not potential bed partner."
    "I enjoy touching other women, but most of the times you are allowed to do this, like hello's or goodbye's, the hugs lose most of their sexuality and become just reassuring routines, and as far as I'm concerned don't serve any purpose at all."
    "There are occasions I'll look at a friend - someone I've been close to for years - and see them as very beautiful, and I'll wish we could be very close. I've always been too frozen in the safe patterns of friendship to reach out to a friend when I feel sensually and sexually attracted to them. I would like to be able to do this, to see what happens, and take these feelings out of the realm of my mind even if it's only to say to the man or woman. 'You're looking really good to me right now!'"

Aside from touching one's partner during sex, it only seems possible to touch children and animals.
    "Right now touching is mostly reserved either for parent-baby relationships or sexual relationships. Outside of this it is often construed as sexual even when it...


Sex And The City S1 E8-9: A Retro SSL Review

My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

Anyway, the fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.

Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

Sex and the City Season 1 Episodes 8 & 9

Season 1 Ep 8

  • Charlotte - fantasies (her boyfriend asks what they are). She says do it in her parents bed. Her boyfriend says, you me, another woman. Girls discuss 3-somes.
  • "Guys are infatuated with threesomes."  - Carrie Voice Over
  • Sam fucking cowgirl  (position) - She orgasms hands free.

Season 1 Ep 9

  • Miranda got a great vibrator. She thinks she's in love (with it). "At least I can say where my next orgasm is coming from - who here at the table can say that?"
  • When Miranda says it's called 'The Rabbit', Sam says 'if you're gonna get a vibrator at least get one called 'The Horse'. [again - confusing insertion and vibration (outer stimulation)]
  • Miranda took Carrie and Charlotte to get The Rabbit [it looks more like a dildo - the rabbit part (the ears that vibrate against the clit) could go unnoticed.Also the dildo part moves around some, so it seems like the dildo part (might be most important).
  • Charlotte - "I think it broke my vagina." The rabbit made her come one time for 5 minutes. No man has ever done that, she tells Carrie. "You know sometimes when you're with a man and he's doing things, and it feels good, but you just can't cum? It's never like that with The Rabbit." She thinks it will ruin sex with a man. Carrie said she could have both, but Charlotte said 'no way - she's giving up.'
  • Charlotte was spending the night with a vibrator and had to have an intervention to take The Rabbit away.

My Thoughts
Reading what I wrote about these episodes, here's my thoughts:
  • I was clearly still noting parts of episodes that had to do with sex or sexuality in more general terms instead of only stuff specific to lady-gasms, lady-bation, and clits. I mean, so what if Charlotte's BF wants a threesome unless we get to see or hear about how the ladies in the threesome come, amiright?
  • The Samantha character has a sexual-bawdy-lady schtick that has an old-timey, male-centric, not-based-in-the-reality-of-female-orgasm-sexual-bravado thing going on. First, her Ep. 8 orgasm that arises from merely the penis banging in her vagina with no direct or even indirect stimulation to the clitoral glans is unrealistic. It is not something that one should expect to cause orgasm for a woman, yet character like her in scenes like that are far, far, far too common and make it seem like a p-in-v bang is all a woman needs to come. It keeps in place the already strongly held cultural expectation that women should just come from getting boned. It's not great. 
  • Also, continuing on the above point, Samantha's whole horse comment was meant for laughs because, again, she's got that particular sexual-bawdy-lady schtick, and so she's supposed to LOVE big dicks...the bigger the better. Problem is, a vibrator is truly great not because it vibrates inside a woman's vagina (although that can be arousing of course), and certainly not because it's shaped like an extra large dick to imitate big-horse-dick-intercourse. It's great specifically because it does something that doesn't often happen during p-in-v intercourse. It stimulates the clitoral glans (which is on the outside of the body, not inside the vagina), and it stimulates it strongly with vibration...and here's the clincher - that is a superb way to get an orgasm! Little secret for everyone - ladies love to orgasm and vibrators make that shit happen. Putting big ol' horse-dick vibrators inside the vagina is maybe fun, but still not the kind of thing that one can expect to cause orgasm. So, I didn't love Samantha's horse comment because it insinuates that the size of something going into the vagina is an important factor in a vibrator, when it's just not (I mean if we'ree talking in terms of orgasm here). It's the vibration we can put on the outside (the clitoral glans/vulva area) that gives us ladies the consistent path to orgasm we all love about vibrators. Samantha, per usual, reiterates the incorrect and harmful cultural assumption that female orgasmic pleasure is related to intercourse with a big ol' penis.
  • I love a lot about Miranda and Charlotte's commentary on how great the vibrator is because it emphasizes a reality we don't often put out into the light - that women don't consistently come with their male partners (because p-in-v sex is shit for lady-gasms), but that coming is awesome and we love it and crave it and a vibrator can consistently do that for us (because it's stimulating the clit, the part of us that actually can be expected to cause orgasms).