"10 Surprising Facts About Orgasms" Mini Series #9

Googling around about female orgasm, I quickly found an online Woman's Day (of is-it-like-jank-Better-Homes-And-Gardens fame) article called "10 Surprising Facts about Orgasm." Thus, the "10 Facts Series" was born so I could share my thoughts on each of these 10 list items - 1 per day for 10 days. Check HERE to see all that have been done so far. Now enjoy number 9.
 9. In rare cases, orgasm can happen without genital stimulation. We’ve all heard about women who can orgasm while sitting on a train or while getting a massage, but it's no urban legend. Experts say it’s a real phenomenon. “I had a friend who had an orgasm every time she used the treadmill,” says Stern. “If that happened to all of us, we’d be a much more physically fit society!” But, humor aside, there’s an explanation for why this occurs. “The reason for spontaneous orgasms during certain activities is twofold—increased blood flow to the genitals and vibration of or contact with the clitoris. The increased blood flow and the general relaxation of a massage can lead to orgasm sometimes, too.”

 So, did this author really mean to follow up "Experts say it’s a real phenomenon" with some Planned Parenthood nurse's (that's who Stern is btw) random story about her friend that miraculously gets her rocks off every - she did say every - time she does a little exercise on the ol' treadmill? Cause that's not great journalism.

Also, an orgasm that happens because clothes are rubbing against your clit are not "orgasms that happen without genital stimulation." The cloths are literally giving the genital stimulation. But besides that, let's not get too excited about orgasms that some women say they have randomly in non sexual situation.

People use the word orgasm to mean all kinds of things, from a feeling of general pleasure to an emotional/spiritual excitement to physical arousal, and studies very rarely ever discern between these different uses of the word before declaring that this or that causes an orgasm. We women are living in a confused world when it comes to our orgasms, and frankly you just can't trust us to mean an actual physiological orgasm (the kind recorded and described by Masters and Johnson, the kind males understand to be orgasm, and the kind that women can and do have without much problem if we get enough and the correct clitoral stimulation) when we say we've had an orgasm on a survey. Scientist should understand that and not be so quick to jump on the women-have-all-kinds-of-crazy-orgasms bandwagon. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade here. Truly, do what you want, and enjoy it as much as you want.

But listen, if you want to hear about how women can think themselves to orgasm or exercise themselves to orgasm, or orgasm from vaginal penetration, anal intercourse, nipple stimulation, meditation, kisses on the neck, being whipped, or how women can get a back massage and come, then feel free to go just about anywhere else on the internet. There's so many people out there, including women ourselves, saying these things, that sometimes I feel like a real asshole for poo-pooing it. There are even studies out there showing that these things happen from time to time, but they're mostly surveys of women telling us that these things happened, and they just don't seem to deal with really understanding what these phenomena are in a physical, experimental way.  If you can show me studies that include physical confirmation of orgasm (not ejaculation, not arousal, not any other way that we use to mean orgasm, but an actual physiological orgasm) included with these survey reports of "coregasms" and "think-gasms", and all the other "gasms," then awesome. That's an interesting discussion.

That's not the case though. We as a culture are so willing to grasp onto these wild accounts of female orgasm because it fits so nicely into the completely incorrect story that female orgasms are somehow way more varied and magical than male orgasms are. We do not treat male orgasm in this way, and frankly that's probably why men have so much easier of a time orgasming than women do - because our culture doesn't act as though anything could make men orgasm and then underplay the importance of stimulating their organ of sexual pleasure the way we do for women.

I'm putting myself out as the counter balance - the asshole who poo poos these fringe accounts of female "orgasm" because we don't know if they are even orgasms, and even if they are I'm gonna point out that it's probably just a tiny, tiny minority of fluke orgasms. I'm the bitch who's skeptical of a woman's use of the word orgasm and of her account of strange, yet unaccounted for, ways she gets off. I'm gonna keep reminding people that the clitoris needs to be stimulated in order for women to come, and I'll continue doing it until excessively talking about fringe orgasms doesn't annoy me anymore due to the fact that clit stim is a given, taken for granted, aspect of sex.

So, point is, maybe there are some orgasms out there using no genital stimulation, but it's annoying that these are spoken about so matter of factly, like the whole thing has been observed physically, settled, and is something that might happen. Yes the title of #9 uses the word "rarely," but that's not how the body of #9 feels. It feels like if Stern's friend casually orgasms every time she's on a treadmill, you or your friend might too. It feels like you really might get an orgasm next time you go for a massage. I mean she says sometimes."Sometimes" means something very different than saying something like "rarely." Sometimes means sometimes, and I think speaking so flippantly about how female's could orgasm in a world where some women don't even know where their clitoris is, is irresponsible on the part of our sexperts - and I'm not just blaming her. Most of them do it. It's the norm.

P.S. There is actually a recognized condition that involves spontaneous arousal and orgasm, and it's not awesome. It's a painful and sometimes debilitating, so just make sure you don't wish for that.

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