Googling around about female orgasm, I quickly found an online Woman's Day (of covers-that-are-a-mix-of-The-Enquirer-and-Martha-Stewart fame) article called "10 Surprising Facts about Orgasm." Thus, the "10 Facts Series" was born so I could share my thoughts on each of these 10 list items - 1 per day for 10 days. Check HERE to see all that have been done so far. Now enjoy number 7.
7. A woman’s sexual self-esteem can affect the quality of her orgasms.Research shows that how a woman feels about her genitals is linked to the quality of her orgasms. “As a women’s health clinician, I can vouch for the fact that every vagina looks different and there is no ‘perfect’ way for a vagina to look,” says Stern. “As long as your vagina is pain-free and you don’t have any abnormal discharge, sores or other medical problems, you can consider yourself healthy and normal.” Increase your orgasm potential by increasing your confidence, she says. “It’s important to treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you—send yourself healthy, positive messages about yourself and your body.” Another trick: Pull out a hand mirror and take a look! Getting to know yourself down there is the first step in feeling confident about your parts.
This one's fine. Well, she is using the word vagina when she means vulva, but maybe the word vulva just seems pretentious, so I won't push it. We know what she means. Honestly, I don't have any reason to rant about this little piece of advice like I did with numbers 1 through 4. I mean liking yourself is gonna make most things in your life better, right? And, it does take some confidence to communicate with your sexual partner and let that person in on what you need to orgasm - especially since we ladies can't just go along with the normal, expected routine of sex (you know, the ol' kissy-face, maybe licky for just a little bit, and then hands free p in v routine) if we want to actually get off.
It really does take some big, hangin' lips to make it happen for yourself. Dude's o-needs are usually met with the normal stuff, so ain't no big deal for them, but if you are a lady getting your rocks off for real on the regular in the presence of other(s), then you probably got there with a good deal of work and hard knocks learning on the job, and I commend you.
This is not an easy world for the female orgasm and any work you have done to make your personal world a more hospital place for it is a down right revolutionary act worth being confident about. Keep up the good fight, my sisters (and brothers) in arms!
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| (Photo of "Vulva Mirror" Screenprint on paper + mirror foil by Tanja Pippi) |
Also, I'd just like to mention Betty Dodson (now over 80 and awesome as ever) is kinda the person who made the whole looking at your junk in a hand mirror a thing. She loves every unique shape of cunt (this is the word she would use) out there and made loads of women sitting naked in circles feel proud of theirs, so props to her too.
BTW - I happen to find this pic for the blog by searching "vulva+hand+mirror." Tanja Pippi, the artist who made it, works in a variety of mediums and touches subjects of gender and sexuality among other things...and gave me permission to use this badass pic. Check the artist's site HERE. It's pretty sweet.
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