Googling around about female orgasm, I quickly found an online Woman's Day (of I-think-my-mother-in-law-subscribes-to-that-magazine fame) article called "10 Surprising Facts about Orgasm." Thus, the "10 Facts Series" was born so I could share my thoughts on each of these 10 list items - 1 per day for 10 days. Check HERE to see all that have been done so far.
2. Condom use doesn’t affect orgasm quality. In case you’re wondering if a condom has anything to do with the quality of your orgasm, don’t. “Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom, dispelling myths that condoms don't make for good sex,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good. “In fact, condoms may help a couple spend more time having sex, as a man doesn't have to ‘pull out’ quickly if he's worried about ejaculating too soon,” she says. If your guy is resistant to wearing a condom because of lack of sensation, consider manual stimulation first, before intercourse, so he can have an equally enjoyable experience.So when it says "so he can have an equally enjoyable experience" does that mean that he too, will likely not orgasm? Because, honestly that's probably what's going to happen for the woman in this situation (only about 20 to 30% say they orgasm during the ol' in and out with any regularity).
You see, intercourse, which is what I'm assuming the condom is being used for, is highly orgasmic for men (since his penis/organ of sexual pleasure is being heavily stimulated) and usually not orgasmic for women (since their clitoris/organ of sexual pleasure is probably only stimulated by happenstance if at all). A thing, whether it be a penis or a latex covered penis, stimulating the inside of the vagina does not an orgasm make.
So, maybe Dr. Debby Herbenick meant to say that it doesn't matter if he wears a condom because either way, she's not gonna come. And, ya know, even if she does orgasm during intercourse because she's also manually or vibrationally rubbing her clit or if she's grinding her clit against his pelvis to get hers - even then, it still wouldn't matter for her orgasm if he's wearing a condom or not!
Now, can I just get into the real nitty gritty of this sensation/condom issue? I really feel I need to point out that there is actually a significant sensation difference between when the latex barrier is moving with versus moving independently of the organ of sexual pleasure. For instance a condom is moving with the penis in relation to the vagina (or mouth if we're talking oral). However, a person wearing a latex glove giving a hand job would demonstrate latex moving independently of the organ of sexual pleasure, and that's probably not too much different than a skin on skin handie.
I point this out because if we are realistically going to talk about the ability of a female to orgasm while properly protecting herself from STD's, then we really need to be talking about latex and clit (not vag) stimulation. For instance, holding a dental damn in place against the vulva while the mouth moves over it would actually feel different from unprotected oral sex (and thus affect ability to orgasm) in much the same way as a man having intercourse /oral sex with a condom. However, a gloved hand stimulating the clit or penis might not be much different than an un-gloved hand doing it - because the latex is moving independent of the sexual pleasure organ.
So, I just see this as something we should think about, not only because we need to be realistic and correct when we talk about what kind of stimulation that can elicit orgasm in men and women, but also because if we actually want people to use protection, we need to be realistic about how it affects pleasure and orgasm. And this all reminds me of a new condom that may hit the market soon that sprang from a challenge to make a better condom. This condom moves independent of the penis. I imagine it would feel more like not wearing one, so maybe more men would, and I like that. As for how it affects the woman in this intercourse situation...don't worry - women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without this condom too. ;)
Seriously though, we should be creatively thinking about stimulative difference when it comes (pun intended) to protection during cunnilingus too. Since we're still working mostly with dental damns and condoms, though, can I just advise my pick for super safe and surefire orgasms with another person...Mutual masturbation, baby!
Thoughts on #3 tomorrow. Check out the whole article HERE.
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