It's time for another edition of random Hite Report: Male Edition. As you know, this is where I flip to a random page in the 1981 Hite Report on Male Sexuality by Shere Hite and simply copy that one page and that one page only into this blog. There are more of these randoms from both the male and female reports HERE.
In the chapter "Thirty Men Speak About Their Lives"
This is a chapter at the end of the book where, instead of showcasing many men's answers to a particular question, the author showcases 1 man's long form answers to many or all of the survey questions. She does this for 30 different men and describes her choices like this:
"Following are long excerpts from thirty different men's replies. These replies were chosen not necessarily for representativeness but because they were some of the most interesting and emotionally involved material recieved and show the range and variety of points of view expressed."
p. 1019 The Hite Report on Male Sexuality by Shere Hite
Alfred A. Knoff. NY. 1981
...to tell you one of the nicest benefits I got from answering. I caught myself wondering about my honesty as I replied to the questions. I often thought I saw myself carried away on my own profundity, my own pompous verbosity. Then I wondered if the man I was describing was really me, or some ideal that I held. I came to realize that this was a basic feature of all my growth. I can evaluate and discard (avoid, recondition) some thinking and behavior. I have to conceptualize much of this new material before I can act on it. So in the end I don't know how truly I am this new person, but I know that he is who I have described.
Goodbye.
Thanks you!
P.S. I just spent a glorious weekend with my companion (wife). The world seems right again, and all the pressure for growth is removed. Hah. But I'm far enough into it now that I won't stand to have the pressure long missing.
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Age thirty-eight; bank president; master's from Harvard Law School; mother a well-educated housewife, father a retired bank president. Spend an awful lot of time in civic affairs, United Fund, chamber of commerce, etc., and am interested in politics though not in serving in a political office. I enjoy outdoor activities and sports.
I am concerned that not enough "business types" will find the time to answer such a lengthy and personal questionnaire (in fact, it will be difficult for me to do so), so in hopes of representing others who feel the same way I do, I will try to give it my best shot.
I read The Hite Report. Gave it to my wife to read, and then presented a new copy to my son as his tenth birthday present. Needless to say, thought it was informative and extremely well done. Wish my father had given it to me when I was ten-or twenty-or thirty.
My wife and I have been married twelve years. I love being married. I love my wife. I love my sons. I cannot imagine not being married for a long period of time. We got married because we love each other and we wanted to have children. It sure makes sex a lot easier.
I am more deeply in love than I have ever been before-which I would have believed impossible a year ago or fourteen years ago when we first met. I can't really describe what it is like; it has a lot to do with having a tremendous respect for another person's potential; it has a lot to do with caring, it has little to do with sentimentality or sacrifice.
I do not think much of monogomy because I think it is confining, does not allow a person to develop his or her full potential, and continues to promote a morality that is outdated. I have had several open-marriage-type extramarital sexual experiences, as has my wife. I think they are very important factors in my development and I think they have made our marriage stronger by allowing each of us to develop more as human beings.
Casual relationships have an awful lot to offer a person. They allow you to have a lot of fun and get to know someone pretty well without getting all tangled up in their problems. Non-casual relationships are better overall, but they...
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