5.12.2013

Thanks Mom! - The Final Clit Awareness Week Post



We've made it, folks. We've reached the end of the 7 day International Clitoris Awareness Week SSL blog marathon. It's been pretty fun for me, but I am only one woman doing this thing, so I'll be going back to my 2 to 3 a week routine from now on, but on to current business.

It's Mother's Day. What do mothers and clitorides (That's a grammatically correct plural of clitoris - I swear to you) have to do with one another, you ask? Well, clearly, moms tend to have clitorides. Baby making, which for many can also be considered mother-making, often has to do with sexual stuff, and clits also have to do with sex stuff. Plus, moms have the opportunity to introduce their children to the idea of the clitoris.

my mom with her mom...and sweet pants
On that note, I'm here to say thanks to my mom. I can't specifically recall her using the actual word clitoris to me. We actually used word like palantas or pwalacitos pwandalas for our down there regions. And no, she wasn't originally a non-English speaker or anything. Those were just the kind of words we said around the house. I know people get all worried about using non-anatomically correct words for kid's junk, but I don't think it's a big deal. She never shied away from talking about the palantas. Like much of parenting, it's less the specifics and more the intention and spirit.

Those aspects, I think my mom was right on about. She was open and age appropriate and taught when teaching moments arose. For instance, when we were hanging out on the front porch and my friend's brother Billy came down the street all newly full of pimples and stuff, my mom took the opportunity to tell me about what happens to boys during puberty. When we were watching Shag, and some boys were throwing water filled condoms at the girl's car, she told me what condoms were. When there was this local news story on about parents upset with a teacher who's sex ed class included an educational video that talked about masturbation, my mom said, "Trisha you know what masturbation is, right?" - or something like that. Sitting in that little living room, with my mom and dad watching TV, I was kinda mortified, but I sure as hell did in fact know what masturbation was, and I was able to conjure up a shy, "yeah." At least that's how I remember it. I don't remember that anything else was discussed, but my mom clearly let me know in that moment that masturbation did not disgust her, that it was something that could be spoken about, and that she kinda expected me to know what it was. That's a mothering win.

She also happened to get a degree in childhood development and was working at the YWCA around the time I was heading into puberty, and she brought me home some pamphlets about puberty and sex. These definitely did talk about the clit and have those (actually kind of unclear now that I think about it) diagrams of the clit/vulva area. They also had a few examples of girls bodies as they were going through puberty - like some didn't get much boob and others were kapow and stuff. Some had a lot of hair. Some didn't. They also had all kinds of questions girls might have with good, thoughtful answers.

It was slightly progressive, accurate info she put into my hands. I looked at them over and over again. I'd bring them to slumber parties and all us girls would look at them and talk about them. In a way, she not only educated me, but she educated a lot of my friends too.

I do very much appreciate that. In fact, I appreciate my mom for all the ways she equipped me for life. I'm making a movie and writing a blog that I am excited and passionate about. I feel confident and loved and I generally like my life and my direction. I don't believe I'd be able to move in my skin so easily without the base she gave me. As I grow, I see more and more how many people were not made someone's priority as a child, and I think it's one of the saddest things in the world. So, thanks for that, and in the spirit of the week, thanks also mom, for giving me a fighting chance at being sexually confident and well adjusted. My friends thank you too.

I'm proud of you, and I love you to pieces, Muchiste! Also, I'm probably going to tag you in this when I post it on Facebook, so I hope it's not embarrassing.


baby me, mom, and my sis - who is also a fantastic mom



There are two lasting gifts we can give our children - one is roots and the other is wings. - from a little framed thing my mom always had up at our house.

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