10.28.2017

Cosmo's Sex Positions Are Still Legit As F#@&



A Cosmo Guide for Bathroom Sex???
So you see a Cosmo Sex Positions List for 5 Bathroom Positions, and you're probably not, like, thinking that'll be one of the most progressive, orgasm equality, bad-ass feminist sex things on the internet, but you'd be wrong. It is all those things because every one of those 5 positions, in their tiny little descriptions, still found a way to include stimulation of the clit.



Now, one would think, since the clit is as important to female orgasm as the penis is to male orgasm, that a woman's magazine would totally make sure the clit is a central figure in any sex advice or sex ideas it put out there.  Sadly, I think we all know that's almost never the case. Instead, vaginal-penile intercourse is almost always the focus for those types of things, and the clit is left out - or if you're lucky, mentioned as an erotic appetizer or if you're really lucky as 'important too.' It leaves everyone to assume that women can and should orgasm from penetration, which is a big ol' scientifically baseless assumption....a GIANT and long-standing cultural lie, one might say. I mean, imagine if in men's magazines they only discussed sex in terms of clit stimulation against his inner thigh, leaving the penis completely out of almost all the positions and advice - and people like never even really mentioned how insane and anatomically inaccurate that was. That's the kind of crazy-ass backward way of discussing sex that women have to put up with throughout our culture.

Classically the long running tradition of Cosmo's hallowed Sex Position Lists that so many a woman or girl have read among the giggles, awe, interest, and astonished ridicule of their friends has been hardcore intercourse focused with lots of g-spot mentions but very few clit mentions. (P.S. The g-spot is not a magic button in the vagina for orgasms. It might help cause ejaculation for some women...but never has stimulation of that area or anything in the vagina been shown to cause physical orgasm in all of scientific literature

HOWEVER, The Cosmo Sex Positions Lists, under the superb creativity and humor of Ms. Jill Hamilton, have changed all that, and I'd kiss her face if I ever saw her in person. I wrote a post recently about how theses sex position lists are going to bring Orgasm Equality, and I meant the hell out of it. I mean, think of all girls reading those sex positions to each other during slumber parties, and instead of imaging good sophisticated-women's-magazine-approved sex as being a vag-bangfest, like my generation did, they are going to also see that sophisticated-women's-magazine-approved sex also includes their clit...because it should.  To me, that's HUGE because it not only helps shape girl's expectations of what should be happening during sex, but maybe more importantly, it will shape the guy's expectations of that as well (boys fo sho read women's sex stuff to get some info). If it feels normal for a guy to think about what's going on with the clit during sexual interactions...my god, just imagine how much better life would be.

It's just one sex thing in the ocean of internet and writing, but Cosmo Sex Position Lists are read by a lot of people, and its style will very likely be copied. Right now they are on the leading edge with this. Consistent clit focus is absolutely not currently the norm in sex writing for the big women's magazines...(and honestly not for a lot of the smaller, progressive stuff either). Although there are others out there trying to make that happen too.

So, go read these Sex Position Lists. They are full of the humor, whimsy, and insanity that you expect and want from these lists, but they are also not completely clueless about female anatomy and orgasm as so many in their past have been. I will give you the clit-related highlights....

5 Positions in the Bathroom
Soapy Slide
"...just let your partner tend to you with one soapy hand sliding up your bum crack, the other sliding over your clit."

The Plunger
"...Fill your hand with lube and rub your clit..."

The Oral V
I mean, this is an oral position. Mouth on clit - enough said.

The Selfie Stick
"...He reaches around with a vibrator while you both admire your mutual hotness in the mirror..."

The porcelain Goddess
"...Have him use two fingers on either side of clit and rub as you ride and you will no longer care that you're doin' it on a toilet."

But that's not all. Not 2 weeks earlier there is also 5 Essential Sex Positions You Can Do Without Leaving the Couch, and guess what motha fuckas? The clit was ignored in exactly zero of these positions.

5 Couch Positions
The Lazy Boy
"...Rub your clit as you move and he can hold onto your boobs—everyone's happy and, technically, still seated."

The Channel surfer
"Fun fact: if you prop a vibrator between yourself and the sofa arm, it stays put, like, perfectly."

The Couch Tease
This is basically couch mutual masturbation, so it's perfect and clit-tastic all on its own.

The VIP Section
This one's a blow job position, but it ends with..."Let them choose how and where they want to orgasm, and then you switch places and Get. Yours."

The Greasy Spoon
"...If it's not quite doing it for you, squeeze some lube on his fingers and guide them where they need to go." In this one the picture has the dude's hand right on the ol' clit area. It's legit.

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