Sex And The City S5 E1-7: A Retro SSL Review

 ***First, sorry for the delay in posts. Day job has taken priority lately. I still love you all though, and I love talking/reading/writing about ladygasms. Does anyone want to fund my life, no strings attached, while I read journal articles about women jerking off in labs and in MRI machines? It's gonna have to be enough to fund my movie theater and popcorn habit and also I don't cook as much as I should. I eat out a whole lot, and I'd also like to travel some, ya know, visit some friends in different cities - that sort of thing. I'm just saying I don't wanna change my lifestyle, but ya know, I would just like for someone else to pay for it. But anyway... ***

My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

The fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.

Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

Sex and the City Season 5 Episodes 1-7

Season 5 Ep 1
Season 5 Ep 2
Season 5 Ep 3
Season 5 Ep 4
-Miranda - guy under covers eating her out - she orgasms. Same guy eating Miranda, but we don't see her orgasm becacuse she's worried about his face glazed with her juices.

Season 5 Ep 5
-Miranda missionary - he's definitely pumping . She's doing nothing - trying to orgasm, but baby cries and he stops.

Season 5 Ep 6
-Sam's "decided to reward herself for her day of R+R but unfortunately her favorite vibrator needed a little R+R." Her vibrator wasn't working.
- She takes "neck massager" vibrator back to Sharper Image. They say they don't sell vibrators. She says whatever - then gives vibrator advice to other 'neck massager' buying women.

Season 5 Ep 7
Miranda - It's times like this when I wish women could go to male prostitutes. Charlotte says women don't go to prostitutes because they don't think of sex that way. Other girls disagree. Carrie going to see Big to get laid.

Modern Day Me Comments
First things first. I am always supportive of and happy to see a female character unabashedly open about masturbating and using vibrators. As I always say, the more women we see that masturbate, the more masturbating seems normal for women, the more women feel entitled to masturbate. The more women actually masturbate, the more they orgasm. The more they orgasm on their own, the more likely they are to figure out how to orgasm with a sexual partner and the more entitled they feel to ask for and expect the physical things during sex that will give them an orgasm. So respect for that.

Secondly, I also like to see a woman enjoying oral sex, and an orgasm from that is physically realistic (unlike the incredibly physically unrealistic orgasms that are so often depicted as resulting from a penis moving in and out of a vagina), so I'm all for that as well. That's a mouth on her vulva/clit area, and that's, well that's, the good stuff. I'm not, however, into the the whole scenario in the episode (because I do remember these episodes) where Miranda doesn't like kissing him after he's done because he's got puss-juice on his face. A lady's got to just get over that. Sex is gross, and you got to take the mess with the cunnilingus. I mean, if you want him to do a quick wipe of the mouth first, I get it, but like, you just can't worry about it so much that you can't enjoy the eat out. That's just sad state of affairs.

Thirdly, and this isn't really related to an SSL review but I want to say it anyway, I too wish there were male prostitutes out there for women. I mean, I know there are, but certainly not as many as there are women out there for men, and probably not very many good ones - I want good ones, and particularly I'd like the ol' happy ending situation that seems to be fairly available to men who are looking for that sort of thing. Like, why can't there be some dudes that will give you a little massage and then throw a glove on and jerk you off, manually or with a vibrator - your choice?...and these dudes should be as experienced and knowledgeable about the clit as most lady-prostitutes are about penises. I think that's a simple thing to ask. So, let'e legalize responsible sex work and also make sure the ladies have sensible, actually orgasmic options, can we? That's all I'm saying.

Fourth, seems I wrote my name 3 times at the top of this page of notes. If I know myself and my hand writing, I'd say I was trying to make my cursive Ts as beautiful as my 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Harvey used to write them. I've been chasing that my whole life and haven't yet succeeded.

Okay, that's it.


Game of Thrones S3 Ep 5-7 - The SSL Review

Game of Thrones
I watched this whole series. Friends were talking about it a lot, so I started watching it a couple seasons after it started. I liked it. It took me a while to get into it, but once I did, I kept up with it. I'm no super fan, but it had some good stuff - including a few interesting lady-gasm/oral sex/clit/ladybation scenes, which of course I love because that means I can SSL review it. Now, the really interesting ones I'm not going to write about here. I'll hit those up later. For now, I'm going to SSL Review something very simple. In fact, it's barely within my technical qualifications for an SSL Review because it's just a discussion of cunnilingus but not also of lady-gasm. I think it's worth noting though, which is why we're here. First  - a refresher on SSL Reviews.

An SSL Review
Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts (unless I deem it counts because I want to talk about it), including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Wildling Ladies Like Tongue
So, if you haven't watched this show and are planning on doing so later, there might be some spoilers, but not really important ones - just giving you fair warning.

Season 3 Episode 5
So Jon Snow hooks up with this wildling woman, Ygritte. (The wildlings are the 'free people' in this show). They hook up in a cave. She gets naked, and they stand together making out for a while until he start moving his mouth down her body. When his head moves out of screen to about her groin area, it's pretty clear whatever he's doing down there was surprisingly nice. We see her beginning to enjoy that for a couple seconds and then it cuts.

Later they talk about it a bit.
Ygritte: that thing you did with your mouth, is that what Lord's do to their ladies where you come from?
Jon: I don't know. I just wanted to kiss you there is all.
Ygritte: Hmmm
Jon: You seemed to like it.
Ygritte: Aye, I liked it some. Who taught you that?
Jon: There's been no one else. Only you.
Season 3 Episode 6 
Later Ygritte and Jon are talking about a past boy in her life.
Ygritte: He wasn't good to me the way you're good to me. He didn't do that thing you do with your tongue.
Jon: Can we not talk about that here?
Ygritte: (mocking him) Can we not talk about that here. I'm Jon Snow and I'm afraid of naked girls.
Jon: Did I seem scared the other day?
Ygritte: You were trembling like a leaf.
Jon: Only in the beginning.
Ygritte: (smiling) You're a proper lover Jon Snow
Season 3 Episode 7 
Another wildling is talking big around a fire, giving advice - it's somewhat in relation to teasing Jon and Ygritte about their hook-up.
Most men fuck like dogs. No grace. No Skill. A few dozen thrusts and done. You need to be patient. Give her time. Your cock shouldn't even go near her until she's slick as a baby seal and then you go inside, but slowly. Don't poke it in like you're spearing a pig.
My Thoughts
I love that the sex between Ygritte and Jon Snow focused on him eating her out. That was clearly her highlight of that encounter. I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd think that Jon's mouth got Ygritte straight sprung, and frankly that makes sense to me. Much like the wildling was describing in Ep 7, too much sex (and as it seems Ygritte's past experiences) are nothing more than roughly spearing a vag with a dick. A mouth on the clit/vulva area is not only just a lovely feeling, but it could very possibly cause an orgasm - something getting a dick jammed in you is incredibly unlikely to even come close to. Seriously clits are the organ of female sexual pleasure - not vaginas.

I feel like this whole Jon's mouth situation endorses to all the viewers watching GOT - and there are a lot - 2 lovely things 1. that a proper lover uses his mouth on a lady's naughty bits and 2. that sex girls really like can (and should) be focused on something other than the dick in the vagina.

As for the wildlings calling for some sexual sensitivity and for getting a woman aroused (slick as a baby seal) before poking her, I appreciate that. It's true. If you are going to stick your dick in something - make sure you take the time to get it fully ready. However, it also brings the focus back to intercourse as the central part of sex between a man and a woman - which I don't love. Intercourse is already #1 with no contenders on the cultural sex list. It doesn't need any help, and it isn't a sensible way for women to orgasm. Both those things mean we need more media discussion/depictions highlighting sex acts that stimulate the clit - women's organ of sexual pleasure - to get that clit some more cultural star status.

The Vulva Rating
I love the focus on and praise of cunnilingus within a sexual act. We need more of that - especially in relation to a 'first time.' I thought the dog-seal-pig discussion later brought focus a bit too much back to intercourse though. I'm going to give these episodes a respectable 4 out of 5 vulva rating.



The Good Place Season 1 and 2 - The SSL Review

The Good Place
A few people had recommended this show to me. It didn't immediately strike me as something I wanted to see, so it took me a while to try it out. I liked it though. They were right. I've only seen the first 2 seasons, because they are the only ones on Netflix so far, but I'm gonna get deep into season 3 when it comes out. Anyway, this is a network show, so there's not a ton of detailed sex stuff, but there were a couple of lady-bation comments. They were all from the same character. Point is - I can do an SSL Review.

An SSL Review
As you know, only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Mindy St. Claire
I don't want to give away a bunch of spoilers, but I think I can tell you that Mindy St. Claire is in a place similar to purgatory, and she's the only one there. If you haven't seen The Good Place, it's about a kind of heaven-type place, but according to the show the different religions only got about 5% of the afterlife correct, so they don't use 'heaven or hell.' It's the Good Place or The Bad Place.

So, Mindy St. Claire is a lady from the 80's that liked 2 things - making hella money and cocaine. Right before she died, on a coked up bender, she had the idea for an amazing charity, took out all her money to start it and that's all she wrote. Her sister took her plans though and started it. It is an amazing charity, and thus Mindy put both good and bad into the world. She's in The Medium Place.

It has her favorite beer, but it's always warm. Canonball Run II is the only movie. It's a real medium existence, and she's alone. Lucky for us, some characters from the show visit her, and we get to meet this treat of a lady. She's selfish but kind, funny, bold, and also lucky for us, likes to unabashedly masturbate a lot. Let me describe the scenes real quick.

Season 1 Episode 12 
Mindy St. Claire's guests are about to leave after a bit of a stay and she starts taking off her jacket. She says to her guests:
If you'll excuse me, it's my masturbating time.
To which one of the guests says:
When isn't it?
After they leave, she heads towards the couch starting to take off clothes. She shakes out both her wrists like she's preparing.

Season 2 Episode 2
Her house guests are back. She tells them some things about past visits that they have forgotten including a bit about why they have left before:
Sometimes you leave because you walk in on me masturbating. Sometimes you leave because I walk in on you while I'm masturbating.

She Don't Give a Fuck
When I was searching around to find Mindy St. Claire's name (which is a great name) before I wrote this, I came across a fab article by Mur Lafferty about Mindy St. Claire and the lack of male gaze on her in the show. It's a nice article, and if you don't mind show spoilers, check it. She talks about how unabashed Mindy is about owning her time and her pleasure and her sexuality while still being an interesting, generally nice character. It's sadly uncommon in female characters, and Lafferty is correct. Mindy truly is a treat.

On an SSL Review level, I am always supportive of any lady-character that admits she masturbates. That in and of itself does simple and important work. It normalizes the idea of a woman masturbating. And the more lady-bation is normalized, the more ladies will feel entitled to masturbate. The more ladies masturbating, the more ladies are orgasming, and when a woman orgasms on her own, she at least has a fighting chance to later see past the cultural norms out there lying about how we're supposed to orgasm and maybe, hopefully, figure out how to orgasm with a partner. That's important. Too many woman don't figure it out in no small part because women often try to do the figuring while having partner sex in the culturally sensible ways we all assume are orgasmic for men and women alike, but are absolutely not. Our culture gives us shit ideas about how our lady-bodies and our lady-gasms work. The truth is the vaginal canal is not the pleasure organ. The penis doesn't give lady-gasms, and intercourse ain't a great way to lady-come. Seriously, for real, for reals. Point here is that sex and the norms of our sexual culture are not conducive to lady-gasms, but the body-focused, self exploration that the solitude of masturbation affords is. So, truth is if women aren't masturbating then women are unlikely to be orgasming at all - and my movie and this whole damn blog and pretty much all my thoughts and activism are about getting women to the point where the world is equally as hospitable to lady-gasms as it is to guy-gasms. That ain't gonna happen until women feel entitled to masturbate in at least the same way men do. So, way to normalize lady-jerking, Mindy!

All that said, it does kind of matter which female character is doing the normalizing. I will take any mention of women masturbating in media, because we simply need more of it, but when that woman seems like a normal person instead of a freak of nature, it's probably better advertising. Mindy is a little of both really. I mean, that's why she's in The Middle Place. She's not your average lady. She's a no hold barred 80's business lady that likes the fast life. However, she's also just kind of a person, and her unabashed, outspoken adherence to a masturbation schedule makes a lot of sense given she's been completely alone for 30 years and needs to fill her time. So, what I'm saying is Mindy's masturbating isn't bad advertisement for clit jerking and I appreciate that.

I also appreciate that Mindy's love of masturbation is not merely depicted as a sad last resort in place of 'real sex'. Yeah, she hasn't seen anyone for 30 years, but when she does see 2 great looking fit men and an attractive woman in her house, she doesn't drop her old friend masturbation for a chance at partner sex. She might tape them having sex for porn to use later during masturbation, sure, she definitely likes doing that, but she appreciates - no prefers - masturbating, and I say cheers to that.

The Vulva Rating
Mindy's depiction normalizes and even elevates a woman's need to and enjoyment of masturbation. That is major because women need to feel that orgasm is a normal thing for them to do in order to feel entitled to do it, and women need to masturbate if we're ever gonna get to orgasm equality.

Respect to that coked out lady with a great name. I give this show's season one and two 5 out of 5 vulvas.