Inside Amy Schumer S3 Ep10 - The SSL Review

Inside Amy Schumer Season1 Episode 8
This show makes me laugh, and here's the best part - Amy Schumer tends to bring it when it comes to realism and female sexuality. She brought it in her movie Trainwreck, in The Joe Rogan Podcast, and largely in the other episodes of this show I've SSL Reviewed so far. She has shown a strong willingness to give the clit the glory it deserves, speak some truths about lady sex experiences, rep for actual lady-gasms - all things largely absent in media and also incredibly important to Orgasm Equality. (She could use some schooling and humbling when it comes to speaking about race though - but that's pretty true of a lot of us).

The SSL Reviewable
There is plenty to SSL Review in this show. And for those that don't yet know, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

Cave of Wonders
The scene in question here (It's embedded below if you'd like to watch it) is one in which Amy is in bed with a dude - seems like a hook up of some sort.
Dude: My God you're so hot. Let me go down on you please.
Amy: Yeah, but I should give you a heads up. It takes me a while.
Dude: I don't mind. 
Amy: Have at it.
He goes under the covers, and we see him crawling under them towards her junk (This is clearly an exaggerated depiction of going under the covers and making your way towards lady parts). He gets to it, and he's looking at it in amazement. A glow is coming from it.
Dude: (amazed) what the...
Above the covers she's just chill in the bed. We don't see him because he's under the covers. She starts reads a long Russian novel.

Back under the covers, it's like he's walked into her vagina. It's a soft, childish pink cave-like set. He finds a lantern, takes it, goes up to a skeleton holding a map. As he takes the map, the skeleton's head falls off, and he screams.
In the meantime, Amy is eating chinese take-out and complaining to the restaurant about the order on the phone.
We cut back to a shot of the dude with, like, the cosmos flying past his head. He's looking ahead and says,
Dude: My god. It's full of stars.
It cuts to Amy's face. She's breathing out a simple orgasm, then says
Amy: Wooo
 As he's popping up from under the covers, she says
Amy: Oh my god, that was so good. You wanna have sex.
He's aged at least 40 years.
Dude: Hey listen huh, this was great, but I gotta be up early in the morning, so I'll just let myself out.
She's slightly surprised, but says okay and it ends.

The Labor Of Lady-Oral
This skit reinforces incorrect stereotypes
This is a tough one for me to give a clear SSL Review on because it's a bit mixed. On one hand it reinforces all the the somewhat problematic ideas our culture has about about ladygasms and cunnilingus....that it takes a really long time (he ages 40 years), that it is incredibly difficult (people died and turned to bones trying to figure it out in the past), that it's incredibly complicated (he needs a map), and it's a mystical event (I mean, he said it's full of stars...which now that I think of it must be what they're referring to in romance novel lady-gasms where women are shattering into a thousand pieces and becoming one with the universe when they come...right?). It's really none of those things, and the ignorance about the quite normal and not-really-any-different-from-male qualities of female orgasm and female stimulation to orgasm is a huge reason why there is such an orgasm gap.

It also makes fun of them...
On the other hand this skit really exaggerates these things in a way that pokes fun at them. The fascination with the exhausting journey / mysticism of cunnilingus and the female orgasm in this skit is all in the mind of the dude, not Amy. She's just, like, chillin' and shit. It ain't no thing to her. She's just living the dream of eating take-out whilst getting ate out, and when she comes, it's just, ya know, an orgasm. It's not some mind-blowing spectacle like we see in porn, read about in romance novels, or hear about from spiritual /goddess gurus and so many hip sexual advisers. It's just an orgasm. Like, an orgasm is cool and all, but it's no more complicated or awe-inspiring than a male orgasm. Some muscle tension gets released in a rhythmic fashion, and it usually feels pretty good. That's it.

I, in a way, read Amy's casualness with her orgasm in this skit as a realistic counter to the dude's ridiculous fascination; as if to point out how unnecessarily built up the myth and confusion is around lady-gasms and pussy-eating; to make fun of the obscene complications our culture artificially presses on women's ability to orgasm (seriously, it's not physically/biologically more complicated for women than it is for men...except that there's so much ignorance around how it works that it is actually hard for women to get and sustain the physical stimulation they need to actually orgasm).

My point is, I imagine that part of the intention with this skit was to make fun of how unnecessarily scared and ignorant men are of stimulating women to orgasm and how over-dramatic and frankly wrong we all are about the power and spirituality and complicated nature of female orgasm.

...but most people probably only take in the incorrect stereotypes
However, I also think that overall to most people it just emphasizes the already strongheld, but incorrect and harmful assumptions that the female orgasm is complicated, takes forever, and that performing oral sex to orgasmic completion on a woman is like doing brain surgery....a brain surgery that ends in a mystical, elusive, event known as an female orgasm. I just think it puts these ideas deeper into the cultural consciousness.

Which is bullshit because really oral sex for men and women is just like, ya know, getting the genitals aroused and then stimulating the clit area / penis with the consistency and the personally preferred firmness and movement until the muscles release into an orgasm. It's like no big deal, and it is never, ever full of stars.

The Vulva Rating
I am going to give this skit a complete middle of the road 3 vulvas because I think its heart is in the right place, and I like the casual realness Amy displays regarding her orgasm, but I don't think it puts out an overall message that contributes clearly to orgasm equality since it relies so heavily on stereotypes about lady-gasms and lady-licking. I like the skit generally though :)




Magic Mike XXL - A Retro Post

I originally posted this on July 1, 2015, and thought I'd repost. I recently realized that I missed a male review that came through Indy recently, and looked for more, but saw they are hard to come by (I'm using come a lot intentionally). Anyway, I thought it should be as easy to find dude strippers as it is to find lady-strippers, but it's unfortunately not, and it got me thinking about this lovely, pure romp of a movie. I'm reposting so you can remember to see this if  you haven't yet.

Oh - you didn't wanna watch a movie that's basically a kick-ass male strip show with a side of road trip buddy comedy? And what was that? You don't like a movie with zero bullshit love drama, lots of good-natured fun, sweeeeet dance moves, a variety of female bodies (without constant comment on those bodies), and an abundance of rock hard male bodies? You don't like smiles, laughing, happiness, sweetness, or sparkles, either!?? Well fuck you. You're obviously an idiot. You're probably (somehow) a professional critic that wrote a review for Magic Mike XXL on Rotten Tomato, and I don't care what you have to say. That movie was on point - so on point.

It's no secret that I was in the More Stripping, Less Plot (less ridiculously stupid, badly acted, cliched plot) camp about the original Magic Mike. I was also somewhat annoyed at the way critics were rubbing themselves off about it because it was a Soderbergh film, and being all shitty about women who critiqued it. I wrote an Honorary SSL Review (honorary because it didn't actually have any depictions/discussions on female orgasm or masturbation) about it at the time.

This is another Honorary SSL Review. There was no talk of or showing of any lady-bation or any lady-gasms, but there was the word 'clitoris,' and that's kinda close. Well, actually it wasn't exactly 'clitoris.' It was Clitoria Labia, and it was the name Magic Mike picks for his inner drag queen. I'm not gonna explain - just believe me that it makes sense in the movie. Point is, how often do we ever hear the word clitoris in a movie? Not much I'll tell ya - certainly not even close to as much as we hear the words pussy, vagina, and other related type word...so I'm giving the movie big props for that. I mean if an inner drag queen is proud of her femininity, what better parts to honor that the ones that actually give orgasmic pleasure, am I right?

Okay, so really, that's about all I want to say. This movie is all the things that the first movie should have been. I enjoyed the shit out of it, and I feel like the people who made it actually listened to the complaints and desires from the loads of women who were disappointed with the first one.

To end, here's the answers to all your questions.

Dude's being assholes? Nah, just flirty, fun-loving, and sexy

Ladies being annoying as shit (to the men in the movie or the audience)? Nah, just ladies having too much damn fun when hot male strippers are hanging out with them.

Acting? Whatever - fine enough. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if half of this was completely improvised.

Sparkles? Plenty. Towards the end we get like a glitter money shot. I hope anyone who reads my blog knows that sparkle and glitter is important to me. They just are.

Plot?  - Perfectly simple. Friends quickly reunite and decide to roadtrip it in some kind of frozen yogurt van to perform at their final stripping convention. They have fun and minor troubles along the way. They blow it the hell up at an epic show. The movie ends.

Jada Pinkett Smith? - Killed it.

Andie MacDowell's Scene? - Best rich southern ladies girl's night EVER.

Drama and asinine relationship bullshit? Fuck no.

Scenes where dudes be dancin' sexy? So many - from the convenience store to the woodworking shop to the drag show

Hardcore flippin', bangin', grindin', and muff-area divin' to the ladies who be stripped upon by beautiful men (in a way that is fun for all involved)? You bet your sweet ass.

For the love of god. Go see this.

****Edit: I cannot believe I forgot to give a specific shout-out to Twitch (seen above on the left). He was rollin' those hips and doin' them moves like the bonafide dance star he is. Fantastic casting, and I have extra love because he comes from maybe my all-time favorite show So You think You Can Dance. Seriously, if you do in fact think you can dance, then watch this show and realize that you actually suck and start trying to be more like the dancers who rise to the top in this show. I'm being for real - unlike all the singing shows like American Idol or dancing crap like Dancing with the Stars, SYTYCD has seriously top-notch dancing and choreography talent. Watch it...and Magic Mike XXL - you won't be disappointed with either.


5 Movies With Ties To Asia #DirectedByWomen

I started doing this categorized List of 5 movies thing where I showcase movies that were directed by women and that I have actually seen. It all started during the Directed By Women Worldwide Viewing Party in September 2015, and it was pretty fun, so I've continued doing it from time to time.

It's a bit off-topic from my normal fare, ya know, being that it's not specifically about lady-gasms or anything like that, but I think it fits the blog because
1. this blog is also about indie movie-making, and
2. this blog is partially about getting the female perspective of sexuality into our media. So, to me, supporting female voices in our media  means we're creating more room for female voices to speak on all types of things, which sometimes will be sex, orgasms, and sexuality.

You can find all my 5-movie lists HERE.

The movies in this list all have a connection to Asia. There's a small variety of countries...Vietnam, Turkey, and the rest India. The connection is often characters but sometimes also the country itself. I realized I easily had 5 with this connection, so here we are. Do enjoy. 

Bride and Prejudice - This was directed by Gurinder Chadha. She's the lovely director of such lovely things as Bend It Like Beckham. I had heard good things about this movie and rented this from Blockbuster when I had my two pre-teen nieces (well they're actually cousins, but they're more like nieces) over to spend the night. i was thinking that I wanted to watch something fun but also something a little different than their usual fare. I often do this with my nieces and nephews, and it only sometimes turns out to be something they really like. I think they got bored with it a bit, but it's just because they were dumb teens with no attention span. I liked it.

2 Learning to Drive - This was directed by Isabel Coixet. watched this fairly recently on Netflix. I was specifically looking for women directed movies. It had big names in it. I liked watching this fine, but to me it was pretty old hat with the characters and casting and storyline...

3 What's Cooking - This was directed by Gurinder Chadha again (Ijust realized that...I guess i'm a Gurinder fan). Don't hold me to this, but I beleive i saw this on HBO back in the early 2000's when we used to get it free at our apartment. I remember liking it and thinking it was a solid indie movie. I'd watch again if it came up.

4 After the Wedding - This was directed by Susanne Bier. I watched this on Netflix recently specifically because it was directed by a woman as well. any random found on Netflix is a coin toss, but I lucked out on this one. I liked it a lot and thought it had a certain sweetness to it. I recommend.

5 Mustang - This was directed by Deniz Gamez Erguven (the u in Erguven has those two dots, but I don't know how to type that on this computer). I saw this, again, because it was women directed and on Netflix or amazon or something, and by golly, I LOVED it. I've saved the best for last. This is a fab movie, and it even got a good SSL Review. Highly recommended.


Random Hite Report #26

Hello, welcome again to one of my favorite segments on the SSL blog, Random Hite Report! It's simple really. I flip through the pages of the The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality  (or sometimes The Hite Report on Male Sexuality) by a one Ms. Shere Hite and copy the contents of the page where I land - no more no less. Anyone who reads my blog will know that this 1976 book is a fave of mine; not only because of its realistic and progressive insight about the female orgasm that is still shockingly relevant 40 years later,  but also because of its very touching insight into the lives of the women who took part in this huge, comprehensive survey. This is an under-appreciated and under-read book if you ask me - I suggest you buy it online (seriously, you can get them for like 1 cent) and read it.

 So, sit back, getcha a beverage, and enjoy a little...Random Hite Report.

The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality Dell. 1976.
Pg. 397  From the chapter "Lesbianism."

...and that is how the figures in this study should be viewed.

Many other women said they might be interested in having sex with another women.   One of the most striking points about the answers received to the questionnaires was how frequently, even though it was not specifically asked, women brought up th fact that they might be interested in having sex with another women, or at least were curious. This interest was usually mentioned in connection with the question, "What would you like to try that you never have?" Some of the answers follow:
   "I have been married for twelve years, but I am not happy with it. I've never had a physical relationship with a woman but I feel it would be more satisfying than with a male. I don't know how to relate to another woman physically, as I've never had the opportunity to do so. There is a woman whom I'm attracted to and feel is the same as me, but I'm afraid to approach her."
   "How I wish I could have a relationship with a man the way i have with my closest women friend. I want to be honest and giving, caring, loving, supporting, and supportive. I want to be cared about, thought special and worthwhile. That I am a person who has lived through things. I want to be able to say 'I love you' and 'I want you' without the other person feeling threatened."
   "I've only had sex with one man - the man I'm with now. He felt like a close friend for a while. I found I wanted to talk to him and be with him in times of happiness and crisis. The relationship has progressed from friendship to 'being in love' back to deep friendly love. Right now my head is in a place where I would like to be in a relationship with a woman as well as keeping my relationship with this man. I am in the process of changing my entire life and feelings about my sexuality."
   "I have always admired beautiful women, but have..."


Lady-gasms Are Barely A Thing In Sex, And We All Deal With It In Our Own Way

I'm sitting here on a Sunday morning, and I thought I'd just maybe get a little bit cazj for this one and just throw some thoughts out there on something I've been thinking about a bit more than usual for the past few weeks or so - the importance placed on orgasm in a sexual encounter, or more specifically a woman's right to say she doesn't care about her orgasm.

The general feel of our sexual culture is that orgasm is important for males but not for females, and obviously I think this is bullshit. Females are able to orgasm. We are biologically as capable as males, but the penis-focused, clit-ignoring norms of sex and all the lady-gasm squashing experiences and learnings that have plagued all us ladies' histories in so many varied ways makes it, quite frankly, hard to eek an orgasm out of many if not all partnered sexual experiences.

So, yes, the fact that we live in a world where the importance of male pleasure (particularly male orgasm) is so important that it encompasses and almost completely overshadows female orgasm without even much thought is sad and appalling and needs to be corrected.

But...and this is really what I wanted to talk about...I get why women often are uninterested to some degree in fighting the power, why we sometimes say something to the effect of, "Orgasm isn't that important to me in a sexual encounter." I get it. I've said it. I've also said stuff like, "I didn't orgasm, but it was really, really good." I've also faked it. I've faked it when I was completely uninterested and wanted to get it over with.

I've faked it when I was crazy hot and into it, but had no idea how I was actually going to come, but knew I had to fake to put the punctuation mark at the end of the experience.

I've 'kinda' faked where I make noises throughout that sound like I'm perma-gasming, as if in a porn but didn't really fake an orgasm even though it could easily be assumed I orgamsed.

I've faked because it was soooo close to getting me there, but I didn't think it was going to happen.

I've even faked many a time where - now that I look back at it - I didn't really probably realize I was faking - at least not in a really conscious way. I think that was the case for a long time. I think I just 'orgasmed' at the height of my pleasure or excitement or intensity and just kinda assumed that's what coming while being fucked felt like. It usually happened while he was also orgasming - not in quotes but actually, physically orgasming.

When I talked above about how the importance of male orgasm can almost completely overshadow female orgasm, that's part of what I meant. I think there is something set up deep in us ladies as we grow and learn about sex that, I don't know what other way to say it even though it sounds kind of insane, makes it feel like when our male partner orgasms it's almost like we orgasmed. It's not even a conscious decision that our orgasm is less important or that his orgasm is enough for both of us. It's more like our orgasm just...I don't know...isn't...or...maybe it is anything and everything.

Maybe it's because the things we learn about our orgasm, about where it should happen and why, just don't make sense when those things are actually happening, so instead of us thinking, 'FUCK! everything I saw and heard about sex and my orgasm was pretty much BS!' (which is what we really should be thinking) we just put this new knowledge together in a different way. We either think we're broken/maladjusted/not doing it right or we adjust our expectations of what an orgasm is. Instead of 'an orgasm should be happening now and it's not,' we say, 'an orgasm should be happening now, so this must be an orgasm.' I don't know - something like that. I think most females having sex have justified the reality of their experience to their expectations of that experience in some combination of those 2 ways. Then again, maybe I'm the only woman out there like this, but I doubt it. No, I don't doubt it - there's no reason for me to be less bold than I feel here. I know I'm not. I've met other women with the same experiences, and my assumption is that these experiences are somewhat universal.

So, when we tell our partners or ourselves that our orgasm isn't really all that important to us, we're not lying. The idea that our orgasm is inconsequential, that it almost isn't even a thing, is so deeply ingrained in us that it's kinda true.

It's also, let's be honest her, hard to figure out, even if we wanted to, how to orgasm to given all this BS, and it takes work and change, and it can make sex frustrating and not fun for a while...maybe a long while. So, yeah, maybe getting the sexual touches and intimacy and romance of sex is more important to you over rocking the boat and losing all that to the work and frustration of chasing an orgasm that doesn't fit into the normal sexual scripts we're all used to. Maybe we don't want to find that our partner doesn't give a shit, because then we have to start facing whether that partner is actually worth shit. Or maybe we have old partners who we've created patterns with before we realized that in the long run when we don't orgasm and our partner does, more and more of our sex acts get tedious and boring and unfullfilling, and we realize how hard it is for both of you to break those patterns...and that sucks. Maybe you have a new or one-time partner that is like every other person in the world and doesn't know shit about lady-gasm, and the work to get the stimulation and attention you need in order to orgasm is just a bunch of work that may or may not pay off....so you just settle for the sexy, lusty other enjoyable parts of sex.

I know for me that after I really truly realized that I wasn't having orgasms during intercourse and that I was starting to lose my desire and to feel bothered by sex, and I decided that I should be orgasming, it was not just a switch that got turned. It was and still is a long road of trying and adjusting. I have more than once thought it would be nice to just go back to the early days where I was young, excited, aroused and just having fun with the sex that was happening, where I was blissfully ignorant that these fun sex acts -minus the orgasms- were also slowly but surely chipping away at my desire while at the same time reinforcing my orgasming partner's desire.

That said, I've overall enjoyed the stupid and crazy journey of trying to make my orgasm a priority, but I also don't blame any female who isn't doing that. If you are in the 'orgasm isn't that important to me right now' camp, I get it. Dealing with our orgasm and the bullshit way it exists in our sexual culture is a special, shitty, burden all us females must deal with in our own way in our own time.

So all that to say I love, without judgement, all you ladies out there dealing with your orgasms in whatever way you are - and to me that includes all *ladies. Don't get me wrong, I am chock full of judgement about how ignorant we are about lady-gasms, but it's toward our culture and history and specific pieces of media, advice, and science. It's never, ever towards the people dealing with the repercussions of the shitty sexual culture...not even the gentlemen.

*When I say ladies I mean whoever this might apply to - those with clits and vaginas, those who identify as women but with other hormones, body parts or chromosomes, and everyone in between that this makes sense to in some small way. I use a variety of words, and I'm working on how to be more consistent and correct, but it's not easy, and my arguments are almost always concerned with the physical body parts in particular. But just know that my intention is to always include anyone that this feels relevant to...for what that's worth.


Alison Stevenson Giving Up BJ's for Orgasm Equality - A Retro SSL Post

This is a re-post of a July 30, 2016 post. Please enjoy.

Writer Alison Stevenson is a bad bitch who should walk around with her hands pumping victoriously in the air most of the time. She did some truth-telling in a July 2016 article about how little she (and many women) orgasm during sexual encounters - particularly compared to men, and she said no more, my friends. No. More.
"If men expect to get an orgasm out of a hookup—without having to give anything in return—then I would adopt that approach, too."

Suck It, BJ's!
In an absolutely fabulous article from March 2015, she announced that she had stopped giving blowjobs, and in this new and equally fabulous 2016 article, she gives us a follow-up about why she's still not sucking dick. She, very rightly, decided that she had given too many goddamn blowjobs to boys that did not return the favor, and she's over it. She also rightly pointed out how the wrong-but-all-too-common assumption that women should just orgasm when a penis moves inside their vaginas (vaginae for you scholarly types) is the root of this problem. The reality is most women don't orgasm that way. The majority of women straight up do not orgasm from vaginal penetration (and I would argue it's even less than we are currently willing to admit).
"Penetration is great, but no matter how long, curved, or fat your dick is, it's not going to happen for me. That's true for plenty of other women, too—it's clit or bust. In other words, if a guy and I have sex, but I don't suck his dick, he can still come. If we have sex and he doesn't eat me out, I can't."
Tell Me Again How Orgasmic Sex Is...
I respect the hell out of what this women has done (and Tracey Moore at Jezebel does too) because the truth is women are set up to fail in sexual encounters in a way that men are not. None of us, boys or girls, were taught that the clit must be stimulated to orgasm. To drive that home, we were also taught that the most important and supposedly awesome part of a sexual encounter is intercourse - something which naturally involves the vagina and penis but not the clit. Fully involving the clit to the point of orgasm during a 'basic sex act' is not the norm. To involve the clit usually means that there are 'extras' given; extra effort, extra communication, extra sexual acts, extra willingness to do things a little differently. So the male orgasm is par for the course. The female orgasm is extra. It's some bullshit. Whether people realize it or not, the status quo sex act is male-gasm friendly but not female-gasm friendly.

Now, as Ms. Stevenson says in her original 2015 article, her lack of cunnilingus (and thus orgasm) in the past is part her fault too because she didn't used to ask,
"Look, I know that my years of being denied oral sex is my fault too. I was a different person then. I never asked for what I wanted, because I worried it would make me seem less attractive. It's something a lot of women feel, that it's more important to fulfill a man's desires over our own. You know, in order to "keep him." Even the most headstrong, self-reliant, progressive women fall victim to this line of thinking. I have finally been able to fully shed myself of my meekness when it comes to sex and I know now that I can not only demand what I want but also deny what I don't want: blowjobs."
I love that she takes some responsibility in this. She's clearly a sensible, thoughtful person, and I think it's true that a woman must become more proactive about asking in order to get her orgasm.

Men Just Get Orgasms, Women Need To Ask...For Extra
That said, can I also say WTF? Yes, she never asked, but can we take a minute and wonder why she has to ask in the first place? Why women must put so much work into getting their orgasm when men simply do not? Why men don't just automatically work the clit like women just automatically work the penis? Why we as a society fully understand and accept that men need their penises stimulated to orgasm, but are so clueless about what makes a woman orgasm that the default thing to do in sex with a woman is ram stuff up her vagina (seriously, contrary to popular belief, getting a woman off is actually not that difficult but trying to do it by stimulating the vagina instead of the clit sure makes it seem difficult, doesn't it?).

The frustration that led Ms. Stevenson to her no BJ decision is much bigger than boys aren't trying hard enough. Yes, that might often be the case, but the truth is we're dumb about lady-gasms. We shouldn't be because they're actually not that complicated at all, but yet we are, and since we're dumb about them and they seem so wierd and mystical and fickle, the female orgasm just gets ignored.

  • Men and often women don't know how to make them happen
  • The way sex is depicted and joked about and taught either doesn't include or misrepresents the physical needs for lady-gasm
  • The normal ways we go about sex don't leave room for it 
  • We don't prioritize them
  • Women often don't feel we deserve them (I mean they're so hard to get and your partner has to put extras in to get you there!)

All that adds up to males orgasming and ladies having to 'ask'.

Rock The Hell On Alison Stevenson!
This woman looked at her sex life and made a decision to put priority on her own orgasm over her male partners'. It's such a revolutionary thing to do because it throws a wrench in the age old sexual status quo and makes a bold statement that flies in the face of people (and I really think this is most people) who don't want to acknowledge how skewed towards male pleasure our sexual culture is. What she did is not easy. It takes self knowledge and courage, and it's inspiring.

So, for all that I am adding Alison Stevenson to the Orgasm Equality Heroes List. Her article and her sentiments fit into something I see as an exciting movement where women are acknowledging that status quo, run of the mill, normal sex is actually pretty bad sex for the ladies. What I mean is that the normal flow of sex, the normal expectations of sex, and the normal skills used in sex are just A LOT better for the male orgasm than for the female. Let me say it another way. When it comes to men, sex is like pizza - even bad sex is kinda okay because they come. For women, though, most sex is unorgasmic, some of it is downright gross, rapey, mean, utterly boring, or painful, and then only really extraordinary sex is even good or orgasmic at all.

This is important because as a culture there is still this entrenched feeling that the simple act of intercourse is a mutually orgasmic experience for both the male and female. It is hard to convince people that we should be going about sex differently because what could be wrong with the way it is? So, we need women speaking out and telling us about their actual experiences. How we go about sex and the expectations we have about sex and orgasm could be so much better. We need to hear more and more women getting real about this and pointing out the unequal playing field.

Bravo, Alison Stevenson! Every time one woman speaks out it makes it that much easier for another, and if we get enough we might have a full-on Orgasm Equality Revolution on our hands!

(and you really should read both her BJ articles - 2015 and 2016. She's also quite funny. Check out her Tumblr)


Empire S3 Ep3 - The SSL Review

Empire S3 Episode 3
I am currently up to date on Season 4 of Empire I'm happy to say, but I as yet neglected to do the SSL Review for the one SSL Reviewable moment in Season 3 (none is season 4 so far btw). It involves Ms. Anika Calhoun and the continuing power struggles between her and Mr. Luscious Lyon. It's a quick and easy SSL Review though, so this will be a fast read.

SSL Reviews
SSL Reviews are depiction or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. Only those specific things are reviewed - other discussions or depictions of sex or sexuality not within the above confines are for the most part not of interest to me. In these reviews,  I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

The Best Kind of UPS Delivery
To give a bit of a background - Anika and Luscious are previous lovers living in the same house but very much at odds at the moment. Previously, Luscious had been sitting at his desk talking to Anika when suddenly he started to kinda shudder and lose focus in a wierd way, and Anika in a moment of kindness got worried he was having a relapse of a disease he had been dealing with. But no - he was just coming from some random young woman under his desk sucking him off.

Well, now Luscious has come into his office and found Anika sitting at the desk.
Lucious: What are you doing in my office?
She gestures him to shhh, then points to a screen that is ticking up a number
(this relates to plot - promise)
Anika: Almost...A little higher. Yes. Yes! Yes, Lucious! (throwing her head back)Lucious: (a little confused.) You sound more excited than me
(again he's referring to the upticking number situation)
Anika: (happily pushing her chair back from the desk) I am Lucious... oh, I am!
Then she leans down and a UPS dude rises up from under the desk with her hands on his chin as she chuckles
Anika: Don't worry. He was...(lazily and non-convincingly) just looking for my earring
Lucious picks up a gun and the dude runs out as the guy runs out.
The SSL Review
This is an easy one. I always approve of a lady coming from getting ate out. It's stimulation to the outer parts of the vulva, presumably to the clitoral glans area, and by golly, that's exactly where a lady needs stimulation in order to come, just like dudes needing stimulation to their penises. So that's tops on the physical realism scale in my book.

I also like that when she's getting him back for his stunt she hits him back tit for tat. I think in some shows, the woman might hit back by having a dude fuck her under the desk (not sure how that would logistically work, but probably something having to do with movie magic) and coming that way, because for some dumbfuck reason people seem to think that a woman getting a penis inside her vagina is something that would make her come when there's no logical reason to believe that. Anyway, when a penis gets sucked, to me the only opposite female reaction is to get a clit sucked. Both things can cause orgasm and have that cazj, laid-back, power attitude, and Anika was write to get that UPS dude on his knees. Respect.

Vulva Rating
I think this is great orgasm equality content, so I'm gonna go 5 out of 5 vulvas.