The Hottest Man Sport in the Olympics

We're right smack dab in the Rio Summer Olympics, ya'll! I love the Olympics. I love them in the summer and in the winter too. I love curling, and equestrian, and luge, and fencing, and rhythmic gymnastics, and I so love the opening and closing ceremonies. I even loved Bob Costas's pink eye from the Sochi winter games.

Yes, the Olympics have very little to do with my movie Science, Sex and the Ladies, female orgasms or related subjects that are the make-up of this this blog, but I have eeked out connections in the past, like Olympic bulges and why Olympians should engage in mutual masturbation in the Olympic Village, and now for you I will again barely make the Olympics slightly relevant to this blog. I will do that by talking about the best hetero female masturbation fodder in the Olympics - dudes who dive.

So ladies who like dudes (and really ladies who like the ladies - because we're just talking about fantasy for your next Olympic themed rub-off, so it doesn't have to be something you'd actually want in real life. This is fantasy, so feel free to enjoy this too, my strictly lesbian friends), please prepare your fingers, palm, or vibrators for some serious clit action and assemble any masturbatory accessories.

Here are are the 5 hottest parts of the guy diver situation at the Rio Summer Olympics. 

1 Let's start simple. These dudes are obviously in great shape. Their physique is clearly easy on the eyes. The muscle definition, those muscles that only some guys have that are right above their junk, the six packs. I mean, a gal could really grind up against those washboard stomachs.

They shower after their dives! I mean, they're all wet and glistening with their wet hair looking all messy model-like as they sensually spread the water over their hard bodies. Come the fuck on. That is hot as hell.

Those tiny little speedos, though. They leave so little to the imagination, but just enough, ya know. I seriously think they get smaller every year, and sometimes when they're taking showers afterward, you see the dudes from behind and those little panties are just low enough that you catch sight of just a touch of sexy little butt crack. I'm not talking about a big ol' hairy plumber crack. This heavenly view is more like the beginning glimpse of a smooth muscly man ass right as the undies come all the way off. Ain't so bad. Also, I do believe that NBC intentionally was framing these dudes so the lower thirds on the screen cover right over the dick area of the speedos while they are showering and toweling off, which is a bunch of bullshit, because I'm sure we would have seen some outlines.

They hug a lot - at least in the synchronized diving. It makes sense. They're partners that put vast amounts of blood, sweat and tears into training intricate and exhausting physical feats. They did something absolutely amazing together and like most any two people in this situation, they hug it out. The thing is though, they're still all hot-bodied, wet, and in those speedos when they do it. How do you expect me not to imagine them slowly moving into a 69? I'm only human. I will rub one the hell out to that.

Steele Johnson...That's an American diver's name. My head almost blew off the top of my neck when I read that on the TV. I had to get up off my couch and walk around my living room 'cause I couldn't even believe it. I was flabbergasted in the most delightful way - because that is the most steller name I have ever come across. This isn't in and of itself masturbation fodder, but I'll put it in here just because I want to talk about it. He's also, I find out, from right here in the Indianapolis area, which makes me excessively proud - maybe even as proud as his father who was wearing a Steele Johnson t-shirt. I mean, I don't want this young man's top notch name to overshadow his incredible diving talent, though. He's got a lot going for him.

So there you go. Get to jigglin' that clit to this beautiful man sport. I don't have pictures because the Olympics are assholes and would probably sue me. Plus, it's better to imagine.

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