Olympic Bulges

Well, I'm kinda obsessed with the Olympics. I just like watching them. I don't watch sports any other time, but I like me some Olympics. I also don't have cable. We just use Hulu and Netflix, which is usually fine, but it means I can only watch Olympics through my antennae on regular ol' TV. Luckily, we have a huge antennae cord that can be snaked around the house into a back room where the antennae will actually pick up signal. Luckily for us, the Olympics are on NBC so that trick works, but if it were CBS, then I would need to move the antennae out the front door onto a trash can in front of the porch.

It is incredibly annoying to me that the Olympics don't have a online viewing option unless you are a cable subscriber. If you have cable, and can watch the Olympics on like 10 different channels anyway, then you get a passcode to get onto a place with streaming Olympic stuff, but if you are like me and only watch things on the internet anyway, you are shit out of luck...unless a kind relative lets you use his passcode. Then you can screw over the cable companies and use their precious streaming Olympics anyway. Seriously, I would pay a little bit to get the 2 weeks of access to online streaming Olympics. Stop being assholes, cable companies and the Olympics - and let me see 2 man bobsledding on the internet. But I digress.

None of that has to do with orgasm equality or Science, Sex, and the Ladies, or anything I usually write about, but the Sochi Olympics do involve seeing penis bulges in those long sleeved onesies that winter athletes all wear.

I was checking out what Cosmo Magazine online had to offer about female orgasm lately (spoiler alert - a lot of New Positions to Hit Your G-Spot! bullshit), when I found an intriguing collection of 19 Best Olympic Bulges. For once, Cosmo, you have impressed me. Now, dude junk bulging from athletic wear, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with ladygasms, but I think it's fair game for this blog because our culture needs more balance in our sexual objectification of people who are famous for really cool things that have nothing to do with their sexiness or sexy parts. Women get this type of objectification way more than men. This situation gives the hetero men out there so much more to fantasize about and enjoy on a sexual level.

Well, we hetero ladies would be overwhelmed to get even a tenth of the masturbation fodder that men see in normal ol' media on the regular. So, in the spirit of sexual balance, and because Sochi is rockin' the Olympic at the moment, Please go check out -->  Cosmo's 19 Best Olympic Bulges.

Some of them are not that interesting to be honest. However, # 11 (seen below) was awesome cause it's literally an outline of a dick. Oh, and a lot of them just look like a straight up camel toe. I feel the picture choices could have been better, actually. Cosmo, can you never live up to my expectations?

Steven Nyman, USA
Photo Credit: Getty Images

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