The Kids Are Alright: The SSL Review

I realized I never SSL Reviewed The Kids Are Alright , and that's a shame because there is a lot of stuff going on with female sexual pleasure, orgasm and female sexuality in general. I really, really like this movie. I think it's superbly put together, and I love its approach to long-term relationships and to sexuality. It's complicated and layered, and this is a short review so it's probably not the best, most comprehensive look. I feel like I could write a 20 page paper about the sex in this movie. However, I tried to focus directly on the orgasm and masturbation parts of this - because that is the entire scope of an SSL Review (See all the SSL Reviews HERE), but some of the other aspects bled into it. I hope I'm not too far all over the place.

I'll get right to the actual SSL review (which is pretty darn favorable) going reviewable scene by reviewable scene  - A reviewable scene being any that depicts or discusses female masturbation or orgasm. Enjoy.

Mom on Mom Sex
This first scene doesn't actually have an orgasm and the masturbation is only assumed, but I'm gonna say it's fully SSL reviewable anyway. It begins with two women (they are lesbian mothers of teen children) in bed, and they decide to watch some porn. This part of the movie is cutting back and forth between these ladies and their daughter doing something secret in a room close by.

So, cut back and now they're watching a gay porn flick. Nic (Annette Bening) is on her back sitting up against pillows with the comforter pulled up to her neck and watching the movie. Jules (Julianne Moore) is completely under the covers, and it's sensible to assume that her upper body is around Nic's lady junk area. Jules moans a little from underneath there, but Nic seems like she's still trying to get in the mood, looking at the porn and kinda adjusting her body. Then you hear a vibrator start up from under the blanket. It kinda seems like Jules' head is moving gently back and forth under the blankets in a eatin' her out sorta way, but it's hard to tell for sure. Then Nic says,
"You know I don't like the guys in this one - They're too shaved."
and Jules calls from under the blanket,
"Don't focus on it." 
Nic still looks like she's trying pretty hard to get in the zone, "okay" 
It cuts to the daughter and then when it cuts back there seems to be some attempts at rearranging their bodies, and we see Nic kinda pulls the covers closer up to her neck against Jules' attempts at uncovering herself and says,
"Hey, I'm cold."
and Jules calls out
"I can't breath honey.."
and Nic begins
Then one of them must have hit the remote because we start hearing straight up loud 70's/80's gay porn pounding, and the women both fumble for the remote. Jules is up out of the covers now and Nic seems a little more embarrassed about the possibility of the whole neighborhood hearing it, and the scene ends with her saying "Shit. That was a vibe kill."

So no orgasm, and we can't be sure about what's happening under the blankets (although, I'd like to assume it was Jule's eating Nic out while she vibed herself - cause I think the ol' oral another / vibe oneself is a pretty solid go-to if you ask me), but it is a scene that acknowledges that porn, vibrators, and some kind of under-the-covers situation is a viable sex situation for a woman, and I like that. I like seeing any depictions of sex that is something other than intercourse, because by god, ramming a thing into a vagina without any outer clit stimulation is just plain not a great way for women to orgasm, yet it's like the only way we ever see people enjoying each other sexually.

Doing It, No 'gasm 1
After this dude in the movie finds out he has a sperm donor kid out there, it cuts to him hardcore banging a woman he works with in the following positions:

1. Standing with her facing him and legs wrapped around his waist.
2. He kinda falls back from that first position into a sitting position on the edge of the couch.
3. She's on her back with him on top of her. He's got her ankle in his hand and raised up high.
4. She's on top of him, bodies perpendicular in cowgirl style and then she falls forward and starts a forward and back movement up and down his body.

There is no orgasm at all, so it's not technically SSL reviewable. However, I guess I just wanted to point out that this was a big ol' sex scene that only involved intercourse. It was totally status quo sex scene even though I feel like it was kinda meant to have a non-mainstream, relaxed, just-for the-fun-of-it, sexy kinda vibe. So, I think it's meaningful to note how often sex in movies is just plain intercourse and how unquestioned that creative choice is. Not that it's a bad option, but that it is just so prevalent compared to every other option.

Doing It, No 'gasm 2
This same dude also gets it on with one of the above lesbian ladies later on, and at first it seemed like all the sex is completely just banging in different positions, but it was a little more progressive maybe on a 2nd look. This whole, story line and scene also takes on an interesting tone because she is a largely monogamous lesbian and this type of sex is quite a novelty to her normal fair. So, it's all just a little complicated.

First off, when she opens his pants (we don't see the contents, but she does), she says rather excitedly,
"Oh! well hello," and then the fucking starts in the following positions (no hand are on the clit area and bodies are not close enough for stimulation in that clit area unless I mention specifically):

1. Both sitting up facing each other. Her bouncing up and down on him.
2. Missionary, with him in between her bent legs. He's really banging, like way hardcore in and out.
3. Doggy style, she's all like, "Oh my god," but not like she's coming, but like it's really good.

That 3rd one, however, is a little cooler because the two get interrupted at this point and the fucking ends, but at that point the camera pulls out a bit and his hand is reached way under her pelvis bend. He's not just grabbing her hip, but like way under it, like he could easily have been rubbing her clit. So actually that was maybe progressive if it was intentional or maybe just some wierd fluke, but I'll take it. Honestly, most people who aren't me probably wouldn't have noticed at all because they aren't obsessed with eagle-eyeing these kind of scenes, but I am and I take what crums of clit stimulation I can get in my media.

Doin' It with a 'gasm
It later cuts to a scene with the same guy and gal doing it again, and she's on top of him. It's just cutting back and forth between a close up looking at her from the shoulders up and then at him from the shoulders up. She's leaned down towards his body moving back and forth against him and concentrating really hard on coming. She's doing things like putting her hand in his face and stuff. He's not disinterested, but he's not really trying to come at this point. Then she comes and rolls off him.

 To me, it could easily be assumed she's rubbing her clit area against his body while they're boning, and that's certainly a realistic way that might make a woman come. I also particularly like the depiction of her working and concentrating on her own orgasm with his general cooperation instead of the more common depiction of him making the movements (usually pounding) that seem to cause her to orgasm (usually simultaneously with him). I mean when it comes to intercourse, there are different movement that help the clit vs. the ones that help the dick, and sure, it might happen simultaneously from time to time, but it's ridiculous how often that is depicted in media.

Mom's Vibrator Scene
This is just a simple little scene where a boy lets his friend rummage around his moms' room looking for pot, and then that friend finds a pink, rabbit-type vibrator in the drawer and turns it on and pushes it towards his friend's face, who then says, "gross." Because honestly, it is gross to have one's mother's vibrator quite close to one's face.

However, I like it because it's a scene that shows mothers of adult children can have vibrators, and that's a beautiful thing. Viva la vibe! Viva la orgasmo! (I don't think any of that is conjugated correctly).

Son Porn Talk
So during the drawer rummaging, the above two boys also found the gay porn his moms were watching in the first scene I discussed, and the friend was all like - "we gotta watch this," but then ol' Jules caught them watching it. In the subsequent mom-mom-son-let's-discuss-what-just-happened scene the kid asks them why they watch man on man porn. Nic goes off on a tangent, but then Jules tries to actually answer it and says the following,
"Well sweetie, you know, human sexuality is complicated, and sometimes desire can be, you know, counter intuitive. For example, because women's sexual desire is internalized, sometimes it's exciting for us to see responsiveness that's externalized - like with a, like with a penis." 
To which the son replies,
"But wouldn't you guys just rather watch girls doing it though?"
and she replies back,
"Well you would think that, but usually in these movies they hire two straight women to pretend, and the in-authenticity is just unbearable"
Then Nic is all like "Whoa, that's enough." But, you know I love that. It's not really SSL reviewable because it isn't talking specifically about ladygasms, but I can't not give props to anything that acknowledges women's interest in porn but also acknowledges how annoying the lack of authentic female fantasy and orgasm  is in most of porn...even lesbian porn. That's some on-point writing and I had to mention it.

So, The Kids Are Alright is not a 5 vulva movie because it does dabble too far in validating the idea that hetero sex can be equated with banging a dick in and out of a vagina until everyone comes. There was just too much basic pounding. It leaves the viewer assuming that stuff was gonna make the women in question come. However, almost every other aspect lends itself to a great SSL Review. The one orgasm was realistic, and the sexual encounter between the women was realistic. There was a hint of possible clit touching during intercourse, so that's also quite good. Plus, vibrators and loving annoyance for porn was normalized, so there's a little bit of progressiveness. All of it was complicated a bit more than I want to get into with the juxtaposition of lesbian vs. hetero sex depictions and new partner vs. old partner depictions, and I actually like the depth of this movie's perspective on sex. I know iIm kinda all over the place, but there was a lot to chew on in this movie. I think it held itself together really well on the SSL front though. I give it 4 out of 5 vulvas!


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