The American - The SSL Review

All SSL reviews have 2 parts.
1) General Review - my general take on the movie as a movie
2) SSL Review - my discussion of its depiction of female sexual functioning [this is what makes it an SSL Review]

However, this one has an added review - 3) The Theater Atmosphere Review- cause it was odd.

Theater Atmosphere Review
Charlie and I went to see The American starring George Clooney recently. We were out looking for to see a movie during the day, and that movie was playing at the right time, so we went. I knew nothing about it. I don't think I even saw a poster for it ever. The theater we were at is usually not busy at all and certainly not at 2pm on a Friday. We thought that, like many times before, we would be the only people in the theater. However, when we walked in there were about 20 people  - all over 65. I'm still not sure why. They didn't come together. I guess old people are attracted to George Clooney movies. That's my guess. Anyway, it was kinda surreal - like I was in a Seinfeld episode or something. For instance, there was some Euro-style sex scenes and random female nudity/sexualizing in this movie, and don't you know that some of these people felt they needed to pipe-up up about it - every time it happened. That was kinda funny, but it also made me feel all nervous and embarrassed like when something accidentally steamy came up in a movie you were watching with your parents when you were 11. Then there were the talkers and the question askers. A few kept asking the person next to them loud ridiculous questions about the movie, and then others grumbled - ever more loudly at the talkers. Then at one point someone asked their neighbor about something, and someone a few rows up loudly shushed them, and then the talker angrily shushed him back. It was stupid and hilarious.

General Review
So, I have to say, I enjoyed the experience more than the movie.  It was just so unoriginal; the characters, the storyline, the style. Plus, the ending is lame-o. In fact, I almost laughed out loud at one point. But..I can't bring myself to be too harsh.
It was fine: a fine, slow, Euro, hit-man movie, but I felt like I've seen it a thousand times (the movie that quickly pops to mind is The Professional). It was just kinda boring to me, and not because it was slowly paced.
So here's my recommendations about this movie... If you don't like 10 minute scenes of a man quietly putting together a gun or unnecessary shots of women with sunlight shining through their skirts so to see she is wearing no underwear, then you won't enjoy this movie. If you've watched a fair amount of European or hitman movies - you've already seen it, so don't bother with the 10 dollar theater ticket - just catch it on Netflix.

SSL Review
In this category, I was pleasantly surprised, literally. I thought it was going this traditional route, then Clooney rocked out a twist. Picture it... Mr. Clooney has gone to a brothel and was gettin' into it with a prostitute (an old woman gasps a little behind me, old men grumble excitedly in front of me). He's on top of her and starts kissing down her belly till he's off screen (I think you might imagine what he's up to). She begins moaning etc. like she's really liking it. Then after about a minute, he moves back up her body, flips her onto her belly and begins to have the ol' intercourse with her. She then sorta ups her moaning to a peak as he finishes up. So I'm thinking this is the classic sex scene. It's quick. It's hot. She seems to have something that is probably an orgasm during intercourse - no sign of any clitoral stimulation (but to be modern, they have the slight bit or oral up front).
I'm thinking - no big sin, just reinforcing the all too common assumptions about how women obtain pleasure during sex. Then...Clooney's putting on his shirt and he says something to the effect of - "You might have to act for the other guys, but you don't have to act for me. I came here to receive pleasure not to give it." She says something like "What? well maybe I'm good at it." I'm not sure exactly how to take what she says, and I'm not sure I heard it correctly in the theater, but I know how to interpret what he said. He said, "I didn't do shit to you to make you come, so I know you didn't, and you don't have to pretend you did." Love it. I love it especially because the scene seemed so normal and expected as a sex scene. Looking back, you may say, "oh yeah, it looked like she was faking it," but that's what most women look like in Hollywood sex scenes, and it is never addressed in this way. Props to The American for its subversive take on the depiction of female sexual pleasure.

This gets 4 out of 5 vulvas! (That's right, I've decided to start a rating system for the SSL Review)
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