Insecure S2 Ep6
I watched seasons 1 and 2 of Insecure last fall and took notes, but hadn't gotten to writing any SSL Reviews until this past September. This is a fairly quick one, and it's fairly positive. I'm looking forward to catching the 3rd season. I've been avoiding it, kind of like I've been avoiding the latest season of Broad City because I have so many SSL Reviews to do for the seasons I watched so far that I feel kind of bad adding more to my plate until I get caught up. But that's neither here nor there...well not really. I guess it means, I'm going to now try and crank out the SSL Reviews I have in the queue for those two shows pretty quickly. But anyway...
SSL Reviews
As a quick reminder, SSL Reviews are depiction or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. Only those specific things are reviewed - other discussions or depictions of sex or sexuality not within the above confines are for the most part not of interest to me. In these reviews, I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.
You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).
I'll describe the scene in question below. It's SSL Reviewable because there's insinuation of clit stimulation here, and although the clit is not specifically mentioned and nothing ends in lady-gasm, I think it meets my criteria just fine. Alright - check it out.
Molly is in a hotel bubble bath. Her dude is sitting on the edge of the tub. He's rubbing her knees and thighs. She picks up what seems like a normal yellow rubber ducky and just kind moves it around on top of the water playfully.
Dude: Nuh-uh - I can't with that rubber ducky dick thing.
Molly: I think it's just called a rubber dicky.
Dude: Oh, well, you don't need it because I can do better.
Molly: Okay then...
He reaches his hand down further under the water, and we see his arm moving gently as if he's massaging something down there.
Honestly, it looks like he's way far off from where any part of her body would be - like if you imagine a woman sitting on the floor with her knees bent and open, I would predict from what I'm seeing in this scene that his hand is at about her belly button level deep, directly between her knees and about 10 inches from her vulva towards her feet. That's just some movie shit, though, doing sex scenes where genitals seem to not be where they anatomically are because it's fake and the actors are real people not actually wanting to bang or touch each other's junk. I think it's meant to seem like it's on her vulva.
It also doesn't seem with his arm movements that he's finger banging her vagina hole, which is good because, ya know, clits need the love not vaginal walls. So again, I'll assume this is a sensible depiction of a man massaging a woman's vulva in an attempt to make her come.
So back to the scene. She leans her head back and exhales in a way that makes it seem that what's happening to her is quite pleasurable, but then he gets a call and has to leave. She acts like it's fine, but after he leaves we see she's disappointed and still sitting in the tub. The Rubber Dicky floats by, and it's clearly vibrating. She looks at it annoyed, picks it up and kinda tosses it to the other end of the tub in her frustration and disappointment.
The SSL Review
So, the Rubber Dicky has nothing to do with a dick (but the name's clever so I get it), it's a bath time vibrator. It's for outer vulva/clitoral glans stimulation - which is just the kind of stimulation a woman needs to orgasm. I mean, it's pretty clear that it's not supposed to go in the vagina because, you know, rubber duckies don't fit well in vag.
So, here's the things:
- I like that the sex toy is a vibrator - and not a boring, non-orgasm inducing dildo. Even with the penis-centric name, they make it clear what it's all about.
- I like that the dude, after poo-pooing the vibrator and saying he can do it better, actually does something to her that could indeed cause orgasm for her. He uses his hand to massage her vulva/clit area (or in this case the air near her vulva that we are suppose to imagine is her vulva). That's completely sensible. I'm glad he didn't, as I've seen in many a movie and TV show do, poo-poo her vibrator and then try to show he's a better orgasm maker for her by putting his dumb dick in her vagina. I mean, fuck if you want, but don't act like it's better than a vibrator at making a woman come...or act like it should make her come at all really. I thought it might fall into that trap and it did not, so bravo.
- However, I think him being dismissive of the sex toy and asserting that he can do it better is, in itself, a little problematic - even if he did stimulate her in a sensible way instead. I guess it's just the simple fact that vibrators are still threatening to a lot of men - like a woman using that and not their dick (or even their body) to get off is an affront to him - even though their dick is unlikely to be involved in making a woman come in reality anyway. It's also just a little like, if a woman brings a vibrator to a sex act it means she probably likes using it, and saying what he did about it is actually a little belittling to her desires and basically blocks her use of it for the sex act unless she gets real adamant about using it - which is an awkward and courageous thing for a person to do during sex, so frankly, it just doesn't often happen.
The Vulva Rating
I like the choice of vibrator as the sex toy in the scene. I like what he physically did to her to try and make her come - that was a realistic way to possibly get a woman to orgasm. Those 2 things would put me at a 5 out of 5 vulva rating, but I did not like how he dismissed the vibrator and kind of belittled the idea of even using it.
Maybe it was just because it looked like a stupid rubber ducky and not because it was a vibrator as opposed to his body, but either way he didn't frame it that way. He just dismissed it, and that seems like it puts out there to the audience and the world the idea that it's okay and even extra sexy for a man to take control of how a woman chooses to receive pleasure.
It's not okay. We ladies get too much negative feedback as is for pursuing our sexual desires in ways that don't involve penises in one or all of our holes. Cunnilingus is still not as much of a given as fellatio, rubbing our clits when there's a man in the sex act is a rare depiction indeed, and women are still simply more crushed than men by the negative associations with masturbation. We don't need any more little cuts to our autonomy inside partnered sex like this anti-Rubber Dicky situation in this episode. So, I'm taking off 2 stars to give a neutral 3 out of 5 vulva rating.
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