***First, sorry for the delay in posts the past week. I'll put up more than 1 a week for a little while to make up***
My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.
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| Ramona and my SATC Notes |
Anyway, the fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.
Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.
Sex and the City Season 1 Episodes 10-12
Season 1 Ep 10
nothing
Season 1 Ep 11
-Miranda hasn't had sex for 3 months and is going crazy
-Sam says sex is a barometer for what's happening in the relationship
-Carrie watching neighbors doing it through window. V.O. - "my desire took over my..." (they were doing it cowgirl with him sitting up)
-Neighbors doing it. All 4 girls watching 'It's been an hour. How can he still be hard?" They were amazed and jealous.
-Miranda said after 3 months of this she's starting to get carpal tunnel.
Season 1 Ep 12
-Miranda missionary, he obviously pushing up in her - they both cum at the same time.
-Sam said her discussion with men used to consist of 2 lines "give it to me" (the penis is what it connotates ) and "go home"
-Samantha is doing it with the man she loved. She says, "put it in me," and he says, "it is in you." She was more than a little disappointed.
Sam - "James has a small dick." Carrie - "It's not everything." Sam - "3 inches." Miranda - "There are ways to get around it." Sam - "I love a big dick. I love looking at it. I love it inside me," etc. Then Charlotte says, how is he with his tongue, and the scene ends.
-Samantha getting fucked missionary w/ small dick and crying.
My Thoughts
Samantha's shit
First off, Charlotte brought the orgasm equality in these episodes if you ask me. Samantha's all flipping out about her dude's small dick because Samantha is a classic caricature of what a 'sexual' woman is supposed to be - i.e. wants sex (p in v particularly) all the time and comes easily from the simple and very male-orgasm-centric act of vaginal intercourse.
She likes big dicks because, I mean, if one is to believe that a dick stimulating the inside a vagina can actually cause orgasm (no good evidence to back that up at all - though actually), then of course a big dick would do that better than a small dick. Anyway, she's all freaking out about the dick because she has a weird pretend sexuality that is deeply prize in our culture, but Charlotte keeps it real - "How is he with his tongue?"
Because, that's real shit. It's the clit that needs the love in order for ladies to orgasm, and every dude has a mouth and tongue that can work the clit if he so chooses to put the time and energy in - no dick needed at all really. So, respect, Charlotte. However, I will say I won't completely poo-poo Sam's interest in looking at and feeling big dicks inside her, that's a valid preference, but it's not really about orgasm.
Okay well, I'll say this too. I will accept that a longer dick may make it logistically possible for a woman to have a dick inside her vagina and also position herself so she can grind her clit against the dude without the dick falling out. Or have a dick inside her and have the man position himself in a way that she has room to rub or vibe her own clit without the dick falling out. So, in that way, a longer dick may actually facilitate the ability of a woman to orgasm while a dick is inside her. So it's maybe valid to have that preference for that reason, but a woman does not need a dick in her to orgasm, it's really more so the dude can still get his orgasm inducing stimulation at the same time she is, but that's not the only way that can happen either - 69 anyone? mutual masturbation? simultaneous handies? The Moral (that's when one partner is getting oral and also giving manual stimulation. I couldn't find a name for that on the internet, so Charlie suggested 'Moral - Manual/Oral')?
Anyway, point is, Samantha didn't speak about it in terms of her not being able to have intercourse and grind her clit on him. She just said she liked big dicks, which to yer average viewer means she needs a big dick to come...and that's probably how the writers meant it as well. And, so I call bullshit on that, and so did Charlotte. Well done Charlotte.
Miranda's shit
Secondly, I like that Miranda talked about masturbation and that she did it and all that - that helps normalize lady-bation which means more women feel comfortable masturbating and if more women masturbate, more women know how to come by themselves and thus have a better chance of figuring out how to also come when with a sex partner - very good for orgasm equality.
However, I wish it didn't seem so dismal a thing that she was masturbating and not having a sex partner for 3 months. Masturbation is so often put in such a sad light where it's like the last resort of sex, but actually it's fucking awesome. Frankly if you practice enough and are doing it with the love and attention it deserves, you'll probably have some of the best orgasms of your entire life while alone. I mean you know you the best, and if you're controlling things you certainly have a good chance of top notch comes. I would have preferred to see more joy in the masturbating, but whatever.
Also, when she finally got a sex partner, she was shown simultaneously orgasming with the dude while getting fucked, I call bullshit. I don't know exactly what the scene looked like because I didn't write it down so specifically, but I assume there was no specific show of manual clit stimulation or intentional grinding her pelvis on him - I would have written that down, I think. It was probably just a basic scene of a man and woman having intercourse, and they came simultaneously - which reiterates to all the viewers the incorrect cultural assumption that women can (maybe should) come merely from getting fucked - especially if they're horny enough - and that ain't no good for orgasm equality.
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