"10 Surprising Facts About Orgasms" Mini Series #3

Googling around about female orgasm, I quickly found an online Woman's Day (of I-think-I-saw-a-recipe-for meatloaf-in-that-magazine fame) article called "10 Surprising Facts about Orgasm." Thus, the "10 Facts Series" was born so I could share my thoughts on each of these 10 list items - 1 per day for 10 dayshttp://www.tanjapippi.net/. Check HERE to see all that have been done so far.

Okay here's #3. I'm not gonna lie. This right here got to me. Not that it surprised me in the slightest, it's just that the sheer silliness of this kind of advising blows my mind into shards every time, but it's so status quo. This is what experts are telling us, and it's so stupid. Here, just read the full #3 explanation. Oh and Stern that is quoted below is "Lisa Stern, RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner who works with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles and blogs at Gynfizz.com"

3. Thirty percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm.If you’ve ever had trouble climaxing, you’re not alone. According to Planned Parenthood statistics, as many as 1 in 3 women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. And as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. Clitoral stimulation during intercourse can help, says Stern, but so can medical treatment. “Female sexual dysfunction (FSD), which encompasses the inability to orgasm, is very common—as high as 43 percent, according to some surveys—and has been a topic of much debate and medical investigation lately,” she says. “For some women, topical testosterone therapies or some oral medications can be helpful, but few medical treatments have solid evidence behind them.” Because FSD may be associated with certain medical conditions, be sure to see your doctor to rule out things like thyroid disease, depression or diabetes.

Wait. Clitoral stimulation can help? You think? To me this is like if a doctor at a refugee camp finds that she has a pretty big majority of people there coming up to her and complaining that they always seem to feel hungry, and then she says, "Well, eating more food could help, but you also might have a thyroid problem or your stomach acid is out of balance, or maybe you just have some type of hang-up about food." I mean, there's serious rationing at this imaginary refugee camp, so yeah food is gonna help. Why are we even discussing thyroid problems at this point. After these imaginary refugees are back to normal life with 3 squares a day, then sure, if problem persists, then maybe we can start discussing all the medical aspects of this problem.

I would argue that normal, everyday sex for women is as deprived of clitoral stimulation as my imaginary refugees are of food. I guess the problem is that we see the orgasm deficit problem women are having, but we don't see that they are living in a world that doesn't usually provide sufficient stimulation to get the orgasms they desire. It's like if somehow that refugee doctor was simply blind to the fact that refugees don't get as much food as they should. 

There is a lot at issue here, but a big problem is that we as a culture think of the clitoris as just one of the many organs of female sexual pleasure. We think of the vagina as equal to or even more important to orgasm as the clitoris, and a normal hetero woman gets as much vag stim as she can handle during sex, so what's the problem? The problem is that the vagina is way, way not important to orgasm compared to the clit. It's just plain not. There is no evidence that rubbing the inside of the vagina causes orgasms. Seriously. I go deeper into that argument HERE

What about the G-spot, you say? That's in the vagina. It sure is, and with some heavy duty stimulation (most likely with a finger not a penis), some women would ejaculate (which is physiologically different than an orgasm), but no evidence it ever caused an orgasm. So, yeah, the g-spot is an organ of sexual pleasure as much as the male prostate is. Luckily for the fellas, our culture doesn't try to cram down their throat that stimulating their prostate (which, if it did anything would cause an ejaculation minus the orgasm) is as important as stimulating their penis when it comes to orgasm. I mean, cause that would be silly, right?

So, I kinda get worked up about this. I mean I think a lot of women are needlessly worrying that they are malfunctioned. We as a culture gotta start putting 2 and 2 together. You and I both know that clitoral stimulation is not highly valued. It's called fore-play - like an appetizer to the the real deal. It is rarely depicted along with intercourse in our media. The word clit probably wasn't even mentioned in your sex ed classes. Clits get lumped into a big group of stimulation possibilities when sexperts give advice - as if it is merely as important as your vag, your nipples, your anus, and the back of your neck. Intercourse (and thus vaginal and penile stimulation) is king. A lot of women don't even know where their clitoris is. Imagine how hard it would be for men to orgasm if they didn't know where their penis is. We do live in a clitoral stimulation rationed refugee camp even if most people don't realize it, so all you doctors out there - remember to ask the right questions before you start spouting off about hormone levels.

(Oh, and just to quell the angst I know is coming, I don't feel there's much reason to buy into the idea that the clitoris, with all its long wrappy around the vagina legs, can somehow be stimulated to orgasm during intercourse. 1. There is no study that links some possible inner stimulation of the clit to orgasms. 2. when you hear about the clitoris having more nerve endings than the entire penis, we're talking about the glans of the clit. All those nerve endings we always hear about are in the little part that sits outside or just inside the skin. Those big legs that extend into the body are not so nervy. They do fill up with lots of blood when you're aroused though. And 3, even if the legs were as nervy as the glans, which they are way not, the penis is so indirectly touching them. I would at best describe what might be happening as a gentle jostling hampered by lots of spongy tissue between the penis and inner clit.  Okay, I'm done. I just thought I'd give my two cents on that line of thought that seems to keep popping up.)

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