She Devil - The SSL Review

Share

Tweet

She Devil
Did I love Roseanne as a kid? Yes, at one time in my life my mom and dad were, respectively, a bartender and a motorcycle mechanic just like Rosanne and Dan at one point in the show. Their life seemed a lot like my life; midwest, the food they ate, their friends seemed like the type of people my parents were friends with, my older sister as a teenager and my parents fought in similar ways as Roseanne and Dan fought with their oldest, Becky. They talked to each other and to their kids a lot like my family did. The difference was they had a 2 story house, and at the time, I kinda felt like people in 2 story houses were rich, and that seemed like a mistep in the show to me, and also they loved sports, and my family just didn't really ever watch sports except for the Olympics (we watched every bit of that we could) and also basketball when the Pacers were in the playoffs, which they did a few times in the 90's. And, they had a younger son DJ (and eventually another baby named Jerry after Jerry Garcia when the show started going off the rails), but me and my best friend Leslie used to say she was DJ, I was Darlene, and my sister was Becky - so we made that fit too.

I haven't seen the new Rosanne, and I'm aware Rosanne herself has gone off the rails, but I will admit I do have a special place in my heart for her and for that show; Rosanne as a woman who at one point in her life made work that gave visibility into a particular aspect of female working class midwest life. It was and still is underrepresented. I have a strong appreciation for art creators who, even if they just do it well once or twice, take their authentic experience, one that doesn't already have a strong history of exposure, and force it out in front of us so that we all may get a larger perspective of the world.

I wrote all that just because I wanted to write about that show. This post, however, is not about that show but about a movie Rosanne was in at about the same time, She Devil. I saw this movie, I'm assuming on a video we rented from Marsh Supermarket down the street when I was about 9 or 10. Just as a fun fact, the first video we ever rented and watched when we got a VCR was Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

Anyway She Devil stars Rosanne Barr, Ed Begley Jr., and Meryl Streep. I just watched it again a couple months ago, and ya know it still held up for me. It's a weird, cooky, black comedy that has some maybe not completely on-point, but era-appropriate feminist values in it. Not a bad watch. It was also directed by a woman (written by men though). However, does it hold up for SSL Review? No. It's getting a low Vulva Rating unfortunately.

SSL Review

An SSL Review, for those that need a little refresher, is a review specifically of any discussion or depiction of female orgasm, female masturbation, cunnilingus, or the clit. I critique the realism of the depiction/discussion and also write about what the depiction/discussion says about and/or adds to our cultural understanding of female sexuality and orgasm. I try my best to just stick specifically to those SSL Reviewable moments, so it usually stays pretty focused on those parts of the movie only, but sometimes I like to digress.

So here we go. I have tons of these reviews btw. You can find all the other movie SSL Reviews HERE and the TV SSL Reviews HERE.

The Scene - Rolling In A Pink Circle  Pleasure Bed
I don't think I'm ruining anything to say that Mary (Meryl Streep) and Bob (Ed Begley Jr.) fuck. It's in the trailer - even a piece of this sex scene is in the trailer. So, they do. There's a couple scenes of them getting it on, but this is the only one that also includes the 'big finish' if you will. The others are just a quick cut of them in it or they get interrupted or something like that.




Mary's this perfectly coiffed Romance Novelists with a beautiful pastel manor. Her bedroom is a sweeping, draped, pillared space with crystal lamps and french doors. The bed is upon a platform, large, pink and circular. Mary and Bob begin at one side, their heads toward the foot of the bed. They are missionary, wrapped fully in the sheet. They roll, arms wrapped around each other, with some gentle sex vocalizations all the way across to the other side of the bed, he's on top again when they arrive. They kiss in that position for a couple seconds, and then roll back across until they are again in missionary, him on top. She gives some grunty, staccato 'uhs' as they do this. They then begin to kind of push and crawl themselves further toward the middle and foot of the bed as they both are making their final sexual vocalizations. As they are doing this, she moves one knee up so she's almost but not quite hooking her leg over his back. At that point she makes a final 'aahhh' like she just came. Immediately he kind of grabs her arms and raises them over her head and he does his final 'ooohhh' like he just came. He then collapses on her and they bathe in their sexual pleasure for a few seconds. He looks down at his watch and then starts backing down her body inside the sheet they were wrapped in. She playfully and a little excitedly, says, "oh, what are you doing?" But he's not going down on her, he's just getting out of bed to hurry back home, and she's a bit bothered.

My SSL Assessment: Basic Sex, Basic Fake
An overview assessment of this scene, and what I think was the intention and what most people would take from it, is that these two were having romantic, wild, passionate sex, and they both came basically simultaneously.

My assessment is that they were having quite active, but very basic intercourse, and Bob came just after Mary faked it.

Here's the deal. No hands were ever near Mary's vulva, so she definitely wasn't getting manual stimulation to her vulva/clit area while they fucked. Yes, they were quite pressed against each other during the whole thing, so it is very slightly possible that her vulva/clit area might have been getting enough stimulation from his pelvis pressed against it for her to come, but there was no grinding from her or pelvis movement that might have seems like she was trying to rub off on him. So, although I've seen much worse simultaneous intercourse orgasm scene where the 2 were positioned clearly so there was nothing touching the clit/vulva area, I still don't think this scene seems realistic. Even if I'd like to believe that was the intention from the actors and director, the truth is that one wouldn't expect any viewer to get anything from that scene except 'ladies can come from a passionate fuck' i.e. 'dicks in vaginas make ladies come.' There is nothing in this scene that indicates anything more than a good fuck made this woman come.

That makes it unrealistic, because as you know if you read this blog, stimulation on the inside the vagina should never be expected to make a woman orgasm given that it has never been physically shown to do so in all of scientific literature. Seriously, women need outer clitoral/vulva stimulation to orgasm as much as men need penile stimulation.

The Vulva Rating
I mean, this scene is just one on top of a pile of millions depicting a woman orgasming from nothing more than a dick moving around in her vagina. While it's clear to any rational viewer in all those scenes that the dick needs stimulation, the organ of female pleasure, the clit, is just plain ignored for the easier, more convenient idea that women should be able to orgasm from vaginal stimulation during the same sexual act that make men come. This scene and all the many, many like it (the majority by far of all depictions of lady-gasms - I don't have the statistics, but I'm willing to put money on that) all reinforces in all our minds the very incorrect notion that ladies will come when you fuck them. this idea is deep in us all from all the things we've heard and learned and watched in our lives, and this passionate tryst just helps to keep that idea alive and well a little longer.

Although this scene was unrealistic and strengthened the hold of incorrect ideas about how women are supposed to orgasm, it didn't do anything other than depict commonly accepted notions of that time (and of this time) - dumb as they may be. It didn't depict anything that really took understanding about lady-gasm backwards, so it won't get the worst rating, but it didn't help either, so it won't get a good rating. Also, I'm giving a tiny upward edge tto the rating because I liked how excited Mary got when she thought Bob was going to go down on her after they just fucked.

I give She Devil a 2 vulva rating
(!)(!)

Heartburn: The SSL Review

Share

Tweet

When I am alone in the house, I watch movies that I want to watch but that wouldn't count as deeply treacherous cheating if I watched them alone. That usually means I watch romantic dramas from the 70's and 80's. I'm looking for something with a little humor, but also serious - death/tragedy, long-term tangled extramarital affairs, or deep despair through the mundanity of domestic life are bonuses, and ideally it'll be something I haven't seen before. I like all these types of movies in their own way, but  they don't always hit the right tone I'm longing for. A couple weeks ago, though, one did - and extra super bonus - it also had an SSL Reviewable moment, so I can write about it here.

The movie was Heartburn with Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson. It was just the right mix of serious and mundane and humor and passing of time that I wanted, and it was so so sweetly satisfying. Can I just say though, that it was kinda the final straw for me with Jack Nicholson? I mean, I'm not saying I don't like him as an actor. He's fine, and great in the right role, but it's like he's Jack Nicholson in every single role. I can't watch him in something without thinking that his character is just Jack Nicholson playing whoever this character is supposed to be...but that did not dull my enjoyment of this movie.

What is an SSL Review?
Anyway, let me get to this SSL Review...as my lovely and loyal readers will know by now, an SSL Review is a special type of review where I specifically critique only discussion/depictions of lady-gasm and/or lady-bation. I look for realism and also what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to our cultural understanding of female orgasm and female sexuality. (See all the SSL Movie Reviews HERE, and TV SSL Reviews HERE)

Heartburn Lady-gasm Scene Description

There was just one reviewable scene in this movie. It was simple but unique from similar situations in other movies...in a good way. Let me describe,

The scene starts at a bucket on the floor in the foreground catching drips (uh oh! stress due to home renovation!!!). We hear very gentle outlets of breath - just enough to let you know there's some sex happening out of frame, and then it pans to the bed where we see the couple. Rachel (Streep) and Mark (Nicholson) are having sex. Mark is on top of Rachel, and he's laying flat and close against her. We continue to hear the outlet of breath and some kissing as they tussle and wiggle against each other. There is really no humping motion from Mark. They stay very pressed against each other until Rachel lets out a slightly louder breath followed closely by another. It is subtle, but still seems pretty clear that she came.

We don't really hear any sounds from Mark, but just after her orgasm breaths begin, Mark kinda presses deeper against her and then releases and does it one more time, and when he releases after that, they both kinda stay still for a second and then begin breathing heavily like they just finished coming. At that point Mark kinda rolls off her and and they begin talking about the house.

Heartburn Lady-gasm Scene Breakdown
So the whole thing, from seeing the bucket to when he rolls off, takes 20 seconds, so it's a quick look at the end of their sex act, and it is clearly meant to insinuate that it was an orgasmic sex act. The main question, however, that we ask here in an SSL Review is whether the action happening in that scene seems like action that sensibly could cause a female orgasm. The answer to that is - yeah, sure.

This is actually one of the more unique lady-gasm sex scenes I've seen, and the uniqueness is what makes it better than your average. It was more realistic and gritty than most lady-gasm scenes I've come across because of how gentle the sounds and movements were, how close they were pressed against each other and how hungry and desperate their small movements against each other were. It was not showy in the slightest, but it was also not like two actors pretending to have sex. It felt to me like they were two people close to orgasm pressed against each other desperately vying for the position that will take them over the edge.

It's a dark scene and when I pause it on Hulu it gets even darker, but that's the scene...

I think it's safe to assume these two people were meant to be having intercourse, and it's true that most women do not orgasm during intercourse. However, if a woman were to come during intercourse it very likely wouldn't be because his penis was stimulating inside her vagina in some special way ('cause there's no physical evidence in all of scientific literature that inner vaginal stimulation causes orgasm).

It would most likely be because her outer clitoral glans was being stimulated during the act. That could happen because someone was manually stimulating or vibing the clit area during the ol' in and out (and man would I love to see that in a movie one day) or it could be because the clitoral area was being grinded against something like a partner or some bedding during the intercourse.

Because of how close Sarah and Mark were pressed together and how constant the pressure seemed to be (no up-down humping going on) that could totally have happened. Sarah's clit could be grinding against Marks pelvis while he's in her and pressed on her. I'm giving this situation a little extra bonus points because she didn't look passive during her orgasm. Her body was actively tussling against his body. That sense in this scene that the two were pressing and moving their bodies against each other, desperately vying to get the right position to go over the edge makes it all the more likely that Rachel was making sure her clit got the stimulation against Mark that it needed while he was inside her.

The Vulva Rating
At first glance, this was just missionary intercourse that ended in orgasm, and in a way, that quick understanding of this scene really reinforces the largely incorrect status quo idea that intercourse = ladygasm. However, this is actually a much more realistic, nuanced depiction of female orgasm. The close, constant body pressure, the subtlety and intensity in the sounds and movements, and the sense that Rachel was actively working her body against Marks to get where she wants to be makes it better than probably any lady-gasm-during-intercourse scene I've ever reviewed. I feel as though this kind of depiction doesn't just happen either. I feel like either Streep or someone else involved in the creation of this movie put thought into the realism of this scene. I'd love to interview her and see if she remembers...

I was going to only give this a 3 vulva review because at first I felt it was more ambiguous. It could really seem to the average viewer to just toe the line on the status quo. I mean, most people don't obsess over and dissect these scenes the way I do. But then as I was writing this, my appreciation for it grew, and I think I shouldn't hold societies systemic misconceptions about lady-gasm and people's status quo understanding against this very excellent scene...but I don't want to give it a full 5 vuvla rating either because it's not actively pushing progress in the depiction either. So, I deem this to be a very solid 4 vulva rating.

(!)(!)(!)(!)

Hope Springs - The SSL Review

Share

Tweet

First, I feel like I've been neglecting the blog the last couple weeks. I've had a lot of ideas and things I'd like to post, but because my real life job has been running me ragged, I've been putting up some fluffier, less time consuming stuff lately. Luckily I'm starting to crawl out of the hole, so hopefully I'll be able to start posting some of the stuff I've been holding on to for a bit. That brings me to this SSL review.

I saw Hope Springs a couple weeks ago when it first came out. From the previews I could tell that it just might be eligible for the ol' SSL review, but I also love me some Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones, so of course I got me a vat of popcorn and checked this movie out. I was pleasantly surprised, both at the insinuations about female sexual release, and just the movie in general. It was a simple movie, and I really think it could have been a cliche, surface kind of older people rom com, but I think Streep and Jones gave the movie a kindness and depth that was above and beyond the script. It was a sweet and relatable movie, and I would recommend it.

As for the SSL review, this movie's getting a pretty good rating; partially for the depiction of sexual release I'll describe next, but also because the overall feel of this movie, to me, struck at the heart of why talking about his kind of stuff is meaningful. I'll get to that part later, but let's begin with a favorite subject of mine - masturbation, baby. Now, it's rare to see any female character at all who admits to masturbation in a movie, much less a "normal" woman with grown children and a 30 plus year marriage. So, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Meryl Streep's character, when asked by the marriage councilor whether she masturbates, said she used to. (She doesn't anymore. It makes her sad because it makes her think of the non-existent sexual relationship between her and her husband, but by golly, she did at one time.) Even better for those of us who care about depictions of female sexuality, she masturbates that night, and it was done in a sensible, fairly realistic way. Obviously, it being a movie and all, we don't see too much of anything, but what we do see reflects movements that would reasonably be done by a woman masturbating in a way that ends with orgasm; and from the sound of things (and not in an overly rambunctious or porny sort of way of course), it does. Basically we just see Streep in bed with her hand moving under the covers. From her arm placement and movement, it is insinuated that her hand is moving around on her vulva, and it doesn't look as though she is moving her fingers or anything else in and out of her vagina (which unfortunately is too often used in depictions of women masturbating to orgasm). So, I truly appreciate this thoughtful and progressive nod to female masturbation in the movie.

Now to the less tangible part of the SSL review. It was the whole situation of the movie - not any particular depiction or discussion. It struck a chord for me about why ignorance and misconceptions about female sexual response is more than just fodder for feminist ramblings - the misunderstanding about how women orgasm affect some of the deepest emotional parts of people's lives.

This movie is about a man and a woman who are married and living under the same roof, but have almost completely lost their connection. It's a common tale, tangled in all the emotional, circumstantial things that can slowly pull married people apart, but there was also this glimpse into the couple's sexual history; the sexual history that led them to their current situation; which I thought was refreshingly honest.

The basics, as I felt could be gleaned from the discussion in the movie go a bit like this: She never really orgasmed from the sex the two were having, and she began to feel as though he really just wanted "it" not her. She mentioned that he would always close his eyes so tight when he was doing it (seemingly as he was about to orgasm).  For his part, he began to feel that she wasn't that into it, and frankly, having sex with someone who doesn't really want it isn't that great of a feeling. He used to be sexual, but he didn't want to have sex with a woman who didn't want to have sex with him, and he didn't want to be unfaithful, so he eventually started to avoid the whole situation to the point where he slept in a different room and hadn't had sex for years. She, in turn, missed the intimacy with him, and was hurt and confused as to why it stopped over the years." But...as Jones said in the movie (and as Charlie and I have enjoyed repeating since we saw the movie), "Sometimes when it's off it's just off."

I think the movie did a fantastic job of giving each character genuine reasons for getting where they were. She loved him and being physically close with him, but didn't have orgasms with him (this is so so common and makes so much sense when we realize the simple fact that the most normal, acceptable sexual interaction, intercourse, is great for stimulating the male organ of sexual pleasure and horrible for stimulating the female organ of sexual pleasure - the clit). He was once a lusty young man who loved and wanted his wife more than anything. He had fantasies and desires about his sex life that he didn't feel his wife would be interested in.  Eventually, as the excitement of youth and newness wore off,  she saw him as just wanting to orgasm in her, yet she still craved the parts of sex that seemed possible to her - long slow arousal, romance, and loving physical intimacy, but was too often disappointed with the act. He wanted a partner who wanted him as much as he wanted her, but he was also too often disappointed.

Yes, of course good communication could have helped this situation early on, but it would have also helped a whole hell of a lot if our culture clearly understood how women orgasm; and if what society described as "sex," and what each partner grew up understanding as "sex," was something broader than intercourse, something that included orgasmic activities for both males and females. That way, when they tried to communicate about "sex," it would be easier because they were both experiencing something similar during sex - emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, arousal, and orgasm. As it is now, sex is something that for many women does not include the orgasm part, but does for most men. It's hard to understand each other's point of view when that very large experiential difference exists.

I suspect communication breakdowns - made deeper because of our misunderstandings about the female orgasm - are happening in household all over; to husbands and wives, old and young. I think the feelings Streep and Jones were experiencing are so deeply relatable to so many. Even if it doesn't get to the point of living in separate rooms in a sexless marriage, I would guess that almost all long term male-female partnerships can relate to some aspect of this situation. Yes, there are other things that can and do strain long term sexual relationships, but the fact that women rarely orgasm during male-female sexual encounters and men usually do, is one of the biggest; and one that is least discussed in any sensible way.  As much as this movie could be played off as simply reflecting the sexual repression of an older generation, I think it speaks to something much deeper and, I would bet that many a younger couples out there will relate.

It would have been really cool if the movie had touched more specifically on these differences in male vs. female sexual experiences, but one can't expect a movie to include everything one hopes. It was a genuine, tender look at the pain these sexual challenges cause in marriage. In short, I felt like the plight of Streep and Jone's characters was the plight of all us heteros dealing with long term sexual relationships. I don't know what the scriptwriter's intentions were, but I think this movie scratched the surface of being something truly progressive, and I'll give it props for even scratching the surface of these common sexual feelings. I also love that we see some realistic lady-bation from a character who was meant to be quite "normal." I give this movie 4 out of 5 vulvas.
(!)(!) (!) (!)

P.S. This movie actually kept reminding me of The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. It's Shere Hite's next book after the groundbreaking The Hite Report on Female Sexuality. It asked over 7,000 men qualitative questions about all aspects of sex and their sexual relationships. It was done in the 70's and as much as the female version had given deep insights into the frustrations women were experiencing, this male version had given as deep and meaningful of insights into the frustrations men were experiencing.

Here's just one answer of the many in this book that I think are relevant to the feelings Jones brings up in this movie.BTW, I highly recommend this book. [Published by Alfred A. Kompf, Inc. 1981 edition. pg. 601]

"I will be married twenty-four years next month. Overall I like it, but there is a slow, deadly erosion of sex. The affection still lingers. I still love my wife in many ways. She does not like sex-she probably never really did-and I have tried just about everything, chiefly patience and gentleness and forbearance, with no real change. It is a sad thing. I wish it weren't this way. It never was that great, for us. I wish we could have kept moderately happy and gone to bed more often. We still sleep together in the same double bed. In all the years I don't think she has ever asked for sex, in any form, and invariably has seemed relieved when I didn't want to. There is still a feeling of warmth and partnership, and we love our kids, but the spark, the magic, has long departed...."