As promised, here is the detailed list of all SSL Reviewable moments in Nymphomaniac Volumes 1 and 2. If you'd like to see my actual SSL Review of these movies - the sort of overview assessment - go HERE. Also, I found a surprising amount of stills from this movie that are relevant, and I have a still to prove a point I made about a bloody clit that isn't actually bloody. Point is....don't let these pics come up at work, ya know?
So, an SSL Reviewable moment must include at least 1 of the following:
- a female masturbating (no orgasm necessary)
- a depiction of a female orgasming or ejaculating - some type of physical sexual release
- a discussion about female orgasm, masturbation or ejaculation
- a depiction of sex that specifically and obviously doesn't include female orgasm - not simply that the scene cuts before an orgasm might possibly happen
- any time that the clitoris is mentioned...it happens so rarely
That's it. Snippets of sex scenes without showing the orgasm don't count, and talking about sex or sexuality without also specifically talking about the orgasm doesn't count. All that said, I'm in charge and so I can change the rules at any moment if I feel it's interesting to talk about, but mostly those are my guidelines. Enjoy the list. It goes chronologically from the beginning of the movie to the end.
- Playing Frogs - Joe and friend about 6 years old filling bathroom floor with water and writhing around with no underwear under their skirts, pelvises pressed to the ground. Both girls' faces are shown concentrated on masturbatory pleasure - as if working into an orgasm.
- Climbing the Rope - Joe said she'd climb the rope in gym class and stay up there for ages with the rope between her legs - feeling the "sensation."
- Anatomy - Joe was looking at her dad's anatomy books (he's a doctor) and was in the reproductive section...I think. She was reading the names of the anatomy outloud - including clitoris.
- First Time - At 15 she found it imperative to lose her virginity. The guy owned a moped, so she thought he was sophisticated.
Joe: "If I asked you to take my virginity would that be a problem?"She does exactly that with her skirt and all other cloths still on, an lays back on a crappy little bed. He non-nonchalantly stands above her on the edge of the bed by her feet, uses one foot to kinda gently kick open her legs and then leans back against the wall jerking it a little bit. Then he gets on with it, and she describes it this way in voice over.
Dude: "No, I don't see a problem."
Dude: "You should probably take off your knickers, yeah?"
He then goes back to trying to fix his moped. She puts her panties back on, fixes his moped quickly as she passes him and walks up the stairs out of his place in just the manner one would expect a person who was just dry-fucked in the ass to do. She described it as humiliating and said it hurt like hell and swore she would never sleep with anyone again. There was specifically no orgasm depicted here.
Just before the 3 then 5 thrust situation "He shoved his cock inside me and humped me 3 time, then he turned me over like a sack of potatoes and he humped me 5 times in the ass."
- The Contest - A couple years later, her friend B had an idea. The two girls put on Fuck-Me-Now Clothes and go on train trip - no need for tickets. The one who fucked the most men when they got to our destination would win the chocolate sweets. On the train as they are about to start, her friend is giving some advice on how to hook them, and Joe says, "What if it hurts?" (or maybe it was "what if it's the worst?" It's hard to tell.) Anyway, in voice over she said she found it was easy, and here are the depictions.
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| Joe and B on a mission |
2. Same position almost exactly. She was still, looking bored over his shoulder into the distance, almost rolling her eyes. He was pumping away.
- 4 Guys - There is a sequence in which we see Joe getting banged by Guy 1, Guy 2, Guy 3, Guy 4, at different times, each in a different positions (below are the details). We then see her in the same positions with each guy as before but this time we see her orgasm sequentially with all 4 of those guys, followed by her sequentially telling all 4 of those guys that she has never orgasmed before. It obviously makes the men happy, and one even says, "I have to admit, quite a lot of girls say that."
Dude 1: Joe in bed on her back, head head hanging off the bed. Dude on his side next to her, pumping her, with his closest leg bent and up against his chest. No hands in use or direct clitoral glans contact.
Dude 2: Dude on back in bed. Joe bouncing up and down while on her knees straddling him. She is sitting straight up so there is unlikely to be direct clitoral glans contact, and there are no hands in use. She bends forward slightly, but there is still plenty of air between her clitoral/vulva area and his body.
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| Joe with Dude2, leaning forward |
Dude 4: Joe is standing upright against facing a door with dude standing upright behind her and pumping. No hands in use. It's possible that the clit could be rubbing against the glass, but there is a door frame that puts her legs about 2 inches back from the glass. She would need to reall press forward with her pelvis to make some contact between her clit and the glass, but she is not positioned that way.
- The Little Flock - Joe says in voice over: "The train trip had increased my appetite, and B and I started a club called 'The Little Flock.' It was about fucking and having the right to be horny. We masturbated together, that kind of thing, but it was rebellious. We weren't allowed to have boyfriends - no fucking the same guy more than once. The were rebelling against love.
- Seligman's Creepy Fantasy - Seligman (the man Joe is telling her story to) imagines Joe masturbating, straight-faced and non passionately while teaching in a school girl's outfit. The sequence is laid out with Joe in different scenarios in the same set, and styled as if she's in an old-timey educational video.
1. Sitting down on a desk with her panties down and hands under her skirt moving in small circular motion.
2. Slouching back in a chair while using one hand to hold a large triangle ruler under her skirt between her legs. One point is possibly inside her or she's just rubbing against it. Her panties are not around her ankles in this scene (and they are in every other), so it indicates to me that she has her panties on and is just rubbing not inserting.
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| Seligman's Joe Masturbation fantasy...probably not suggesting insertion? |
3. On her stomach on the desk, with her panties around her ankles and a hand between her vulva and the desk, writhing gently. There is a stuffed fox on the desk with her too for some reason.
4. Standing, legs shoulder width apart next to the desk with her panties down at her knees and hands under her skirt moving in a small circular motion.
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| Another of Seligman's Joe fantasies |
- No Touching - Joe is discussing a time in her life when she was interested in one particular man, and says "and during this time, when I was with other men, I forbade them to touch my body with their hands." There is a quick cut to her from the chest up bouncing naked, presumably cowgirl style and pushing away the male hands that come up from out of shot to touch her breasts. Both her and his hands were clearly not on her vulva and she was sitting straight up and bouncing, so no vulva touch there, yet she is orgasming in the same way she did in previous scenes.
- Train Masturbation - Joe also tells Segiman, that she masturbated on the train, and the scene shows her with her hand in her lap, covered by her bag, moving almost in-discernibly. We see her orgasm as a close-up of her face as her mouth opens slightly - she was in need of being discreet on the train, of course.
- Laundry Worker Hospital Sex - She is aggressively bouncing up and down on top of him, cowgirl style on a bed, and her face seems pained, as if she's trying her best to come, but it doesn't seem to be happening. However the scene ends before one could tell if she does or doesn't come. She again has sex with this guy, but now she is on her back and him on top missionary. We are only seeing from the chest up, and at first she has a pained concentrating face like before, but it cuts and she is orgasming...then she starts crying, but that's another story. Anyway, she's clearly being banged and neither his nor her hands are on her junk. However, she is holding him close to her, and she could be grinding against him during this, so I have no particular qualms with this one.
- The 3 Guy Music-Related Part - She says she was having sex with 7 or 8 men a night, and she's talking to Seligman about 3 of these men, One in particular involved discussion of orgasm. In voice over, Joe says,
"...and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex. No, I'd go even further and say that there was a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex. Without words, he knew exactly what I wanted, where he should touch me, and what he should do. The most sacred goal for F, was my orgasm."During this we see him going down on her. She is laying on her back on a bed, and he is above her and moves down he body until his mouth makes steady, full mouthed contact directly over her clitoral vulva area, and after a moment, we see Joe beginning to orgasm.
- Loss of Orgasm - Joe is with the dude played by The other was Shia LaBeouf. She told him to "fill all her holes," That's pretty much what he's doing, but one small clip makes it look like he has his hand down around her vulva while he's doing her missionary style. It's most likely supposed to be him puttin' it in, but I thought I'd mention it. There was no orgasm though. Volume 1 ends, with Shia doing her (banging and clearly no hands), and she quite desperately and panicky, says she can't feel anything.
- Floating Orgasm - Joe was 12 and on a field trip in the hills,. She's lying in the grass and had this spontaneous orgasm where she floats into the air with these 2 ghostly, religious-like women figures next to her in the sky. When Seligman man asks her about it, she says it was and orgasm, although the doctor described it as an epileptic seizure.
- Desperate Masturbation - So, she has lost her orgasm all together suddenly, and we see her awake in bed with Jerome (Shia LaBeof). She is furiously rubbing her vulva (in a realistic - although quite rough- masturbatory motion), but it's obviously not working. So she goes into the bathroom and slaps her vulva with a wet towel. Clearly she's upset and trying anything at this point. Joe describes in voice over that she "lost all sexual sensation - my cunt went numb"
- Desperate Sex with Shia LaBeouf - She, of course has no orgasm, since she ain't having those anymore, but apparently, she keeps trying, and there are cut-up scenes of her and Jerome having sex. Her legs wrapped around his waist, getting banged against the wall. Her on top in bed both sitting upright and then laying down on him. He seems like he is just getting tired and they just stop."If Jerome had hoped for a break from what was now for him mostly strenuous work, he could forget about it."
- Tied to a Couch - She gets her orgasm back while enduring some masochism, and it happens because she was able to move her pelvis and stimulate her clitoris against the book she was tied against. Rather realistic....for those who can keep aroused while getting whipped like a horse.
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| Joe, vulva against book, while being whipped |
- The Weird Anatomically Incorrect Bloody Clit - Joe is in an office bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet with the lid down. She has her pantyhose and panties down around her knees and is rubbing her vulva, but then sees blood. Joe says in voice over says, "Some years later, the body abuse began to have an affect. First, rare bleedings from my clitoris, but then they became more and more frequent." As we get a closer view, there looks to be a sore on her inner thigh, but her clitoris looks just fine (and we do see it close up - I even paused it.). She then takes a make-up mirror and uses it to look at the parts of her junk she can't see, but she can see her clit area, so it's weird. I'm not sure if the moviemakers don't know where the clit is, or what, but it didn't make sense to me.
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| See, the clit and everything around it are blood and sore free - looks quite healthy actually |
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| This is Joe, investigating the source of the blood by using a hand mirror to check in the vaginal hole area |
- One Big Sore - Joe doesn't really have sex any more in the movie and at one point says in voice over, "My groin was one big sore from my abuse that wouldn't heal and made even masturbation impossible." She suffered abstinence symptoms.
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