Well, I typed in "women masturbation" into Google to see what I could get to write about tonight...cause I need to get a post up to keep with my 2to3-a-week schedule, and the post I'm currently working on is taking longer than I thought...so I need to buy myself a few more days...so I figured I'd just post some silly masturbation stuff I found online while I watch my last Mad Men before I go to bed.
So, anyway..."women masturbation" in Google. The first links that came up were pages of quotes about "women and masturbation" that actually had nothing to do with masturbation, and I don't really know why they said they did. Then I saw a link at the end of the first Google search page that went to what I assume is an old webpage. None of the links work, but hey, it's a list of terms for female masturbation - a situation that has too few slang terms if I do say so myself. I give props to anyone who acknowledges and/or speaks of ladies masturbating, so I thought I'd just put up some of them, but please go check out the full original site.
- A night in
with the girls, air the orchid,
audition the finger puppets.
- Beat off,
buff the beaver.
- Caress the
clitoris, clean your fingers, climbing mons veneris, clit-flitting, come
into your own, couch hockey for one, cunt cuddling, cunt-hunting.
- Diddle, digging for clams, dirty dancing for one, do handiwork, drown the man in the boat.
- Fan the
fur, feed the bearded clam, fingerpainting, finger-walking to the
"Y", flipping the breaker, fluffin the
"muff"in, frig/frigging.
- Gash-lashing,
genital stimulation via phalangetic motion, gentle the genitalia, get a
date with Slick Mittens, get a fat lip, get a lube job, get to know
yourself, giving a noogie to your monkey, grab the goatee, grease your hips,
grinding the bump, grope the grotto, gully whompin.
- Have it
off, have sex with someone you love, hitchhike to heaven, hitchhike under
the big top, hitting the volume control.
- Jack off,
jazz yourself, jerk off, jill off, "just reading, mom".
- Leglock the
pillow, let your fingers do the walking, lubricate the labia.
- Making
bubbles, making soup, manual override, man overboard.
- Nothing
else to do.
- Oiling your
holster, one-handed bridge.
- Pet the
pussy, playing centipede, playing with your gerbil, play the clitar, poking
the hairpiece, powdering your nose, pressing the escape button, priming
the pump, pushing the panic button, pussy-pushing.
- Ride
slidesaddle, ride the unicycle, ride the tubsput, riding the buzz bomb,
riding the rubber boyfriend, rose palm's big sister, row the little man in
the boat, rubbin' the nubbin, rub off, rub one out, runnin' your finger
through your hair.
- Self abuse,
shuck the oyster, silk abuse, sinking the vibrating sub, slick abuse, solo
sex, stinky pinky, stirring the taco, stir the yogurt, stoke it, stroke
it, stroke off, stroking the magic lamp, stroking the nether-beard, stuff
the taco, somebody's got to do it, surf the Wet.
- Tapping the
keg, test the plumbing, the art of unisex, the saddlehorn samba, the
two-finger tango, the virgin's release, thinking about fabio, thumb the
button, tickle my fancy, tickling the taco, tickling the tuna, toss off,
touch-toning, tugging at the vertical smile, turning on the juice,
twiddling the toggle.
- Visit
Father Fingers.
- Wank, wash
your fingers, water the hot spot, wax the carrot, wax the saddle.
- You're
soaking in it.
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