Okay, this will be quick cause I'm still as swamped at work as I was before Christmas, so let me just throw some thing out there that I've been thinking about.
As you know, I think it's important that when we speak about orgasms in women, we are actually meaning an orgasm; a sudden and rhythmic release of muscle tension and blood congestion that was built up through arousal. I'm talking about the Masters and Johnson defined orgasms, an actual, physical thing. We use this meaning when we, as a culture, speak of male orgasm. It's kind of a given for men. However with women, that meaning of orgasm is often casually intemixed with "orgasms" that are actually ejaculations or some other type of emotional/spiritual climax, or often the word orgasm is used interchangably with pleasure or arousal in women.
I mean, come on here, we need to be more clear so that we ladies can all start to get a more realistic understanding of our own and other women's experiences with sex and orgasms. Otherwise we'll all just continue to hang out in our own confusing, separate worlds when it comes to ladyrgasm knowledge.
That said, let's think of other names to call these non-orgasms. I mean, I'm not against these things. Enjoy, what you enjoy. I just think they should not be confused with an orgasm. So, what should we call the emotional high that some might refer to as an orgasm?...an emotigasm? giddygasm? How about the spiritual/ universe-is-one/seeing-colors-and-stars-moving-through-you sexual highs you always hear women on message boards talking about? Godgasms? unigasms? Ejacualtions, we should just call ejaculations, since that's what they are. Oh, and pleasure should not continue being used interchangeably with orgasms. Yes, orgasm can (and pretty likely will be) pleasurable, but all sexual pleasure is not orgasm - not by a long shot.
So if you hear someone talking about something like how they attain sexual pleasure, and you're not sure if they are specifically meaning orgasms, then ask, cause that's the only way we'll get people to become more clear. Anyway, we need something to refer to these things as, because people speak about them, and it's be nice if we knew what sexperts and ladies speaking about their own experiences actually mean. Any other ideas out there?
Yay! So glad to see this post here. I talked about this very issue at a workshop I put on last summer where I specifically taught "ecstatic breathing" techniques and made sure to intro the practical stuff with a quick discussion about why no one would here me use the phrase "energy orgasm" outside that context - that "orgasm" means a specific thing involving specific physical reactions, and that I was not in any way purporting to be able to teach people how to have a real life hands-free orgasm. During the workshop I referred to the highest-energy point as a "peak" and also as a "climax" of energy, but got rid of all the -gasm speak altogether. Somehow it felt incredibly liberating and the folks in the workshop group really seemed to *get it* when I explained my reasoning.
ReplyDeleteI love it! That's exactly the kind of thing that could really, truly help women understand their own experiences of pleasure and orgasm and place them realistically in relation to other women's experiences. You, my friend, are a stone cold Orgasm Equality Activist! I love hearing your take on things, Bex!
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