Reticulated Writer Writes Some Orgasm Equality...About Licking One's Own Clit...

I came across a blog that I thought might be a fun one for you to read. Plus, it's got that Orgasm Equality flair I love and need to share. You should go read it HERE. It's at Reticulated Writer, and it's called, "No Thanks, I'll Just Lick It Myself," a great name if ever I heard one. It begins with her distaste of the sound of her dog licking its balls and ends by asking the ladies out there if they would lick their own clits (I mean if it were possible and all). Obviously, my answer is yes. Clit-licking is just plain the bee's knees, the cat's meow, even!

Or is it?

Anyway, in her musings, she also gets all real - Orgasm Equality style real. I love it. There are not enough people out there talking about the big ol' elephant in the room when it comes to lady-gasms, the elephant being that our vaginas don't make us orgasm. It begins with her realization that there's lots of talk and jokes and questions about men sucking their own dicks if they could, but there's just not much of that for us ladies.
And then as I sat in church I wondered, Why hasn't anybody ever asked me if I would lick my clit if I could? Why hasn't anybody ever asked me if I can lick my own clit?
Why indeed. I like that she touches on something important. Men have a lot of culture around their authentic (not faked) orgasm, their drive to attain orgasm, and their methods of auto-manipulating it. Women have very little culture around those things.
But I want to know why isn't the interest in autofellatio matched by an equal interest in autocunnilingis? Even the Wikipedia entry for autoeroticism only refers to men dick-licking. Nothing about women clit-licking. I call shenanigans. 
I agree with her call of shenanigans, and I agree with the next part of her post even more.
...and then after church I had a conversation with my friend Martini about why women have fewer orgasms than men. If you're thinking it's because women's orgasms are harder to come by (pun intended), then you would be wrong. Our bits work just fine, thank you, but the relevant bits aren't found in our vaginas, so the penis isn't usually the right tool for the job. (I know there's that one woman -- the one the rest of us women all secretly hate -- who's thinking, I come with every penetration. I have an orgasm when I insert a tampon. Good for you, bitch. Now go sit in the corner. This conversation isn't for you.) 
No, the reasons are many, and most of them boil down to men's orgasms being more important than women's.
I couldn't agree more. Now, men as a whole aren't to blame, and women as a whole aren't to blame. Even "the man" can't be blamed, but the truth is she's right. Our sexual culture is built in a way that prizes male orgasm over female orgasm. To quote Billy Joel (because I know you want me to), "We didn't start the fire. It's been burning since the world's been turnin'" We can put that shit out though - Go Orgasm Equality!

Also, I wouldn't say orgasming from a tampon makes you a bitch, but she's right, this conversation isn't for you or the minority of women who claim in surveys to be like you. It's for the majority of women who we find, from surveys, that say they have never orgasmsed from vaginal stimulation. Ladies like this don't get to see women like themselves anytime they want in porn and movies the way you do. They need some space for their reality too, ya know. Oh, and I'm saying this in all seriousness. Search for some orgasm research studies that will physically verify your vaginally induced orgasms. These have actually never been verified in scientific literature, and if this is your experience, it should be documented. Seriously. It's crazy that there is a minority of women who claim this experience but it has never been verified. This shit needs to be cleared up.

Okay, that's the deal. Check out the Orgasm Equality infused post at Reticulated Writer, and let her know if you would lick your own junk. Again, I would. I definitely would.

P.S. I wrote autocunnilingus into Google and clicked on images to find a picture for this blog. I think it is possible - at least in photoshop.


  1. I did that google search too, and I got a lot of photos of blow jobs. What? Again I call shenanigans.

    Thanks for the review! :-)

    1. My pleasure. I'm always ready to feature people doing the good orgasm equality work out there :)

    2. I am an orgasm suffragette. It's time for an amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing women equal numbers of orgasms to men's. (While we're at it, maybe we can slip in a little something about wage equality too.)

    3. Damn straight, Reticula, damn straight.

  2. It's a very interesting idea - licking oneself.

    I have to admit - I think it's legally questionable and morally reprehensible, but personally, I like it!

    No need for women to lick themselves. There are reprobates out there (like me) who have selflessly devoted themselves to licking all the kitties in the world who are incapable of licking themselves.

    You may already be aware that I long ago founded "Lickety Lube" which has become the nation's leading purveyor of nude, therapeutic personal encounters. Our agents have all been trained to breathe through their ears.

    Lickety Lube's vans (emblazoned with the logo lips & tongue and the motto - "Have Tongue; Will Travel") are easily spotted plying the freeways in major metropolitan areas en route to house calls.

    1. Ha - That van would be quite a site to see coming down the street, now wouldn't it?