Ah, Bex - I met her a couple years ago through this blog. She left a comment on one of my posts, and every now and again we make some quick email or comment contact. Recently she sent me a link (it's the article Ecstatic Science and the Erotic Brain in the September 2104 RAW Attraction Magazine HERE) to something she wrote, and basically, I love the hell out of it. She sent it to me because she said although she didn't particularly cite anything from this blog or the movie, the SSL ideas were part of what led her to write it. (She does list THIS blog post and the SSL movie as a reference in the article, which I was kinda super stoked about - I mean, it was SSL's first reference, and it's kinda awesome.)
|Bex, the revolution building, free-lance, sex positive writer at your service!|
Anyway, what she wrote is so on point, and it was everything I would want to say but better. It was a simple and thoughtful piece on the too few female orgasms in our world and what to do about it. It was also a poignant piece about language mattering. The following is one of the last things she says:
Most importantly, call an orgasm an orgasm. And call all the other awesome, sensual, erotic and ecstatic experiences you have by some other name. Cumming, gushing, climaxing, reaching it... If you need to call it anything at all, call it what it is. In an ideal world, maybe it wouldn't matter what words we use to describe the hot fun we're all having. But in this reality, most women are not getting the good times they deserve. And you do deserve it! t's time to demand what's yours.
This article is such good revolutionary work. READ IT. Plus, it just really excited me. Bex is a freelance writer, a sex-positive advocate, and she's also a spirit and energy worker and a practitioner of tantric yoga. She's got street cred among a population of people that I don't, a population of people that are very much interested in thinking about, talking about, and exploring the spiritual aspects of sexuality. The way I write about this orgasm equality stuff does a lot of things, but it doesn't engage much with the spiritual aspect of sexuality. It's just not my style. Honestly, that is a criticism that this blog and this movie get....that they ignore the spiritual aspect of sex, and I think it turns some people off enough that they disengage with the message or become somewhat hostile to it. In the same way, some people just hear a word like tantric or ecstatic and are turned off. The truth is, how a message is conveyed and who conveys it is as important as the message itself, and I don't always convey it in a way that everyone likes. Bex conveys Orgasm Equality messages in a subtly different way - a way I think could reach people I cannot, and that is so, so exciting.
Seriously though, her article speaks the truth, and points out that so much of the bickering among well meaning people about female orgasm comes down to language...It's unfortunate, and we really all could come together more. Bex and I are starting a Language Revolution on the Orgasm Equality Front. Who's with us?!
Go read the article. Bex is a real writer and says stuff good the way I can't and stuff. Go HERE and click on the Ecstatic Science and the Erotic Brain article to get the PDF.