1977 Hustler Review Series Wrap-up: It's Not Great

The Final in the 1977 Hustler Series 
This is a wrap-up to a deal I made a couple years ago to SSL Review a Hustler from September 1977. I don't have any more reviews to do in this magazine, but I just feel like I needed to give it a final goodbye. And, I don't mean that in a good way - like because I loved it and I'll miss it or something. I mean it in more of a bad way - because it was gross and sexist and surprisingly racist...with a pedophile edge.

I'll get into that, but if you haven't been keeping up on this particular series - you can find all the previous SSL Reviews (reviews specifically of depictions or discussions of female orgasm, female masturbation or the clit), linked under the magazine section HERE. There were 6 sections in this magazine that included something I could SSL Review, and by far my favorite of those was the Huster XXX movie reviews - because those movies were bonkers.

Anyway, I started this because a fab lady named Jill Hamilton who writes the Cosmo Sex Position lists - like a fucking Orgasm Equality Hero btw- and a blog called In Bed With Married Women, which you will not regret reading, had a give away. We just needed to tell her what we'd do with it. I saw this vintage Hustler, and I promised to both SSL Review it cover to cover and to also masturbate to it. She chose me, and thus it began.

I didn't masturbate to it. It feels like I'd mess up some kind of karma if I rubbed one off to it. It doesn't deserve me. I liked seeing it though and seeing what it was like in a late 70's Hustler. I enjoyed doing the reviews too.

BUT....It was, as I said above, gross and sexist and surprisingly racist...with a pedophile edge. I normally put pics in these but, well, no, not for these. Here's some of the terrible-ness:
  • Chester the Molester. I honestly didn't know Chester the Molester was reoccurring cartoon in Hustler. I remember I babysat at this house across the street. Their last name was Chester, and me and my BFF called them Chester the Molester - just because it rhymed and we had heard that term before, I guess? Anyway, I'm not going to put a picture of it in here because I wouldn't feel right replicating the image for prosperity, but let me just describe it. It's a full page. Chester the Molester is an older white dude with white hair and a creepy smile. He's got a Nazi band around his upper arm. He's in a city in the foreground of the picture hiding around the corner of a building. Behind him and on the sidewalk next to the building a mom, dad, and a little girl are waiting to cross the street. Chester is not visible to them. They are clearly Jewish and in a Jewish neighborhood because the girl has a star of David necklace. The dad has a yarmulke, and there's a Hasidic Jewish man walking in the background. The noses are ridiculously over drawn for a little extra racism. Chester has a string attached to a dollar that he is pulling from around the corner and the girl is chasing it towards where he is hiding. In his other hand he has a bat raised ready to get her. Oh, and there is piss and shit on the sidewalk. That's it. That's the comic - the whole comic. Can I just ask Whyyyyy? It's not comedic. It's super racist. I don't really know what to say, but why?... and why a full page devoted to it, Hustler? You wrong.
  • They probably have alternative motives for selling a kid's sex ed book. There's a page titled "Hustler Books and Movies." It's got 5 little sections of different sex books and/or sex reels to order; one on masturbation, some little "dirty" comics, some explicit sex position photo books, a book series on modern sexual behavior that has "lots of full color explicit photos", and then a book called Show Me! with 2 pre adolescent shirtless children on the cover. It's supposed to be a sex ed book for your kids, and checking with wikipedia it is a sex ed book for kids- although a controversial one because of its explicit drawings. Buuutttt, again, I need to ask why they got that damn thing on that page? A book that was, at the time this magazine came out, being banned in some areas as child pornography? Even if it really was meant to be just a very straightforward book for kids, it is clearly being marketed on the down low in this Hustler as a way to look at drawings of naked kids, right? I'm not crazy?
  • There's another racist, nose-related comic, but it's only an 1/8 of a page this time and no potential molesting insinuated. It's also not funny.
  • Um there's a huge, several page-long comic with a really racist-ly drawn black football team. Their dialogue in it is also quite racists. They're having lots of sex, and there's some famous people in it too. It's pretty bad.
  • There's a big ol' article on child prostitution with a totally inappropriate cover page. It's pretending to be some kind of deep journalistic look at the problem of child prostitution, but it's really just a horseshit article. The really gross part, though, is that the front of the article is a 2 page spread of an almost pubescent girl, blond hair and innocent blue eyes, sitting on a bed in a dank motel room holding money. She's completely naked to the point that we see her vulva. Like....whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Did they feel like sexualizing a little cartoon girl in a story about child prostitution was good idea journalistic integrity? Is that why they made sure her legs were open enough to see everything? Come on, Hustler. Jesus Christ.
  • The rest of the grossness is just your average hardcore magazine grossness. I think I hit the worst above, but rest assured, there's stuff in there you could live without.
So, that concludes my Hustler September 1977 Review Journey. I am going to throw it away now. I think mid-nineties Penthouse is next. Hopefully it's at least a little less racist, although I'm not holding my breath.

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