12.31.2016

Mozart in the Jungle Scene Re-imagined




I already posted about all the actual SSL Reviewable parts of seasons 1 and 2 of Mozart in the Jungle. However, there is one more scene that I want to comment on even if it's not technically SSL Reviewable. To be so, it would need to discuss or depict female orgasm, and this does not. It merely discusses and depicts sex, but it's from a woman's perspective talking about the quality of the sex, and I think there is something to be said about it.

The Scene
So here we are. This is in the very first episode of the first season. It's 2 women who have just met. One is older, cultured, and established in her career as a musician. The other is young and just beginning the same career but with a different instrument. They are having a drink and their waiter is deemed attractive. They are looking at him as he leaves the table.
Older Lady: Bet he's a dancer. They're the best.
Younger Lady: The best?
Older Lady: Anecdotal evidence and my personal scientific research suggests there's a direct correlation between what a man does for a livng and the way he fucks. Violinists, for example, they tend to come quickly. It's all those arpeggios.
We then see her in bed with a violinist (I assume). She's next to him, kissing his ear. We see a condom in his hand by his chest, and he quickly moves it down his body putting the condom on his dick. As soon as he does, she climbs on top of him, presumably starting intercourse cowgirl style. Almost the second she seems to get on it, he starts to make orgasm noises / faces. Then it cuts back to the women at the table.


Older Lady: Percussionist, pound you like they're in a porno.
We then see her bent over a stand-up drum. He is standing behind her and thrusting against her rhythmically. He is close-eyed and seemining lost in the beat. She is wide-eyed, focused -but not in a pleasure sort of way, with pursed lips, panting rhythmically like she's in labor.


Older Lady: Kinda fun...for about 10 minutes. It's good cardio though.
Younger Lady: Oh - what about...(they look at the pianist across the room)
Older Lady: Pianists, tricky. Typically they fall into 2 general groups, jazz and classical. I'd go for jazz.
Younger Lady: Why?
Older Lady: Improvisation.
We see her making out with a guy as they walk into a public bathroom.
Older Lady: They play off you. Also they're into ensembles.
We see her gesture through the bathroom door and a girl walks in and the 3 start making out.


Younger Lady: What about conductors?
Older Lady: Too complicated.

I mean, it could be better. That's all I'm saying.
This is a fine enough scene. It makes sense for the pilot episode. It's a bit titillating and gets the audience thinking about the show as a bit sexy. It also shows off the older woman's sophistication and the younger woman's naivety. But, and I'm just being dreamy here, but wouldn't it be cool if the sophisticated, sexually experienced lady spoke about how good men are in bed with a bit more lady-gasm focused perspective?

For instance...
the violinist
What about the guy that comes too quick? I mean if we look at it realistically, who gives a shit as long he helps her come too, right? Maybe it's not that violinists are bad because they come too quick, but that it actually makes them more desirable. Maybe violinists play your clit with their fingers as passionately as they'd play a Tchaikovsky piece, and when they've  made you come so hard you want to just fall asleep, lucky you! You can do just that because they pop off as soon as they stick it in...probably all those arpeggios.

the percussionist
Alright, what about the percussionist?  I have to say, I like that she tells the young gal that the percussion banging is more like a fun-ish workout than anything else - that's pretty realistic given that banging penis in the vag or any other inner vaginal stimulation has never been shown to cause orgasm in scientific literature (and also that the majority of women when surveyed say they cannot orgasm during intercourse alone). So, that's realistic girl talk that acknowledges the non-orgasmness of straight banging.

But just take a step back for a minute, won't you? When was the last time you saw something like this in reverse? Have you ever seen a show where a sophisticated, hot, sexually experienced guy was talking with his friend about women he's had sex with and was all like, "Well this type of lady loves you to stand behind them and rub their clit for 30 minutes. It's a pretty hot position, but I'm over it in about 10 minutes. It's a good forearm workout though."

Ain't nobody seen some shit like that because we as a society assume guys actually feel that coming is a pretty important, almost necessary part of sex...something we refuse to assume about women. It seems really odd that a dude would have sex without coming and be that cool and easy-going with it.
 
So, let us extend the courtesy to women that we give to men and assume that this sophisticated sexually experienced women cares that sex with percussionists is orgasm-less.  Maybe she continues her assessment with an indication of how percussion dudes deals with you trying to get yours. Why not note that these dudes are pricks that pretend not to hear you over the banging if you ask for a reach around, so best always to bring a vibrator with you to whip out and take care of business while you get banged!...then never fuck a percussionist again.

the jazz pianist
I actually don't mind what she says here. I actually think improvisation, playing off you, and being into ensembles could all be solid aspects of a good sensual sex partner for a lady. But if I could make this a little more lady-centric, I'd make one change. The 3rd person should be a hot dude, ya'll!

I know lots of straightish women are into a little sexual fun with a lady, and that's all cool, and it's not unrealistic or un-lady-centric at all. But, I think just for sake of balance, why not see a little more 2 dude 1 woman threesomes where straightish men get into a little sexual fun with another guy? Why, you ask? Because 2 is better than 1, because dudes need to get over their homophobia about this, and because why the fuck do people get that 2 women touching each other is sexy to look at but don't get that two men touching each other is also sexy to look at?

Anyway, if a gal likes men eating you out, why not 2? Why not a dude eating you out while another guy fucks you? Ladies and gentlemen, the possibilities are endless (and in my fantasy here, the dudes have to actually work together to pleasure the woman...can't just finger trap her...soooo boring). So, I say the 3rd here should have been a hot guy, and he should have dropped to his knees in front of her just before it cut.

Okay, that's it. Happy New Years Eve! Be safe, Have fun, and get that clit touched!


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