Wanderlust S1 Ep2 - The SSL REview

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Wanderlust

This is a British TV series, but I caught it on Netflix. I really liked this show, and bonus, it involves a long-time married couple's sex lives, so there are things to SSL Review. I already reviewed the 1st episode. Feel free to check it out. Overall this show has a fairly fresh perspective on ladygasms - at least for a TV show. There are a few imperfections, but definitely better than I would normally expect. The first episode got a good SSL Review and this one will have a mixed one. It'll be fairly short (I don't always write a long-winded ass book).  So, enjoy, and go check out this show. I recommend it.

An SSL Review (for those that don't know about them)

Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Okay - I'll describe the 2 SSL Reviewable scenes, and then I'll give my thoughts on it, and finally (lucky you) you'll get to see the Vulva Rating. That's how this will go.

 

The First Scene: quick sex on a countertop

I won't get into names. Just know it's a man and a woman. The couple is making out, and they very quickly start taking off each other's pants. Their tops stay on. He gets the condom out, which takes a minute. She sits on some kind of table or counter, and when he gets the condom unwrapped, he puts it on (out of site, of course), and puts it right in her. 

They aggressively bang against each other for a very short time (although it cuts to another scene in the middle, so it could be intended to be slightly longer than we are seeing). Anyway, she is kind of grunting and moaning in a sort of 'I'm gonna come' sort of way. He's doing the same. And then they sort of do a final 'uh' like there was a come. They slightly collapse into each other and then untangle. 

Honestly, it could be seen two ways - that she did come at the same time he did, or also that she was just making sex noises. I tend to think it plays more towards the former. Granted, I personally tend to see it in the latter (because unintentional faking is a things) but I don't think that's the show's intention or what most people on a casual watch would get from it. I think what was intended and what is likely taken from that scene is that 2 people bang, and it ends in them both being mutually sexually satisfied (assume orgasm). I will say when it ends she seems a bit bothered, as opposed to satisfied and basking in the afterglow, but I think from context that was having to do with their non-sexual relationship not a dissatisfaction with the physical aspect of sex.

The Second Scene: ate the fuck out!

I'm keeping names out of this too. Again, just know it's a man and woman. This scene is super simple. The lady hooks up with a dude. You see them kissing and groping as they go into his place. Then we see a bust shot downward of her laying on the bed in just her bra. It's clear the guy is working on her down there. He is not in shot. 

From her face, we can see she is kind of contemplating what's happening, ya know, and getting into it. It cuts to another scene. The next time we see her, it's the same shot, and she is clearly orgasming from a good ol' eating out...or whatever he's doing down there. It's not actually clarified. I assumed.

The SSL Review Stuff

I mean, not too much exciting to say here. The first couple was an example of shit status quo intercourse that would be just fine for getting a dude off, but absolutely shit for getting a woman with a vagina and clit off. Why? Because just as men need their penises stimulated to orgasm, women need their clits stimulated...and you know what? A penis jamming in and out of the vagina is a terrible way to make that happen, because despite popular belief, stimulating the inside of the vagina does not cause orgasms. Seriously.

But what's even more terrible is the incredibly common situation where some lady in a TV show or a movie or porn or even a book gets banged into an orgasm with no additional clitoral simulation. It's terrible because it's insanely unrealistic but the sheer number of times we all see it happen in our media makes it seem like how sex should happen, how women should orgasm, and feels like we're seeing how other women orgasm. It creates expectations that simply can't be achieved, and confusion, shame, and conflict when those expectations clash with reality. Point being, this type of sex scene is so very, very common and it also is overall negative for the plight of the female orgasm.

On the other hand, the second scene was stellar. It was a one-night stand that didn't focus on what most depicted one-night stands focus on; intercourse. Instead, it focused on a sex act that 1. was totally focused on the lady, and 2. was something that actually, realistically could cause an orgasm for a lady if it were done to her. Well, I'm assuming so, since I'm thinking it was cunnilingus, but even if it were him putting a vibe on her vulva or manually stimulating her, it'd be the same level of realism, but honestly, I think the intention was that she was getting ate the hell out.

Listen, I love any depiction of sex that forgoes the regular ol' shit for lady-gasm intercourse, and instead depicts something that actually might cause a lady to come. We don't have enough of it, and we'd probably need every sex scene to be that for the next 50 years before we even begin to make those take over as the majority style of sex scene above the status-quo, bang-her-into-an-orgasm, shit intercourse scenes that clutter media currently. So, keep 'em coming. As it stands this episode is 50/50 for the two types of scenes.

Vulva Rating

Given that there was 1 stagnant, unrealistic, over-used depiction of "lady-gasm" and one under-used, realistic depiction of lady-gasm, I have to put the vulva rating in the middle of the road. But also a little lower because, ya know, 1 bad apple ruins the barrel.

So, I am giving this episode a 2 Vulva Rating out of 5.

(!)(!)

Landline - The SSL Review

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Landline
This movie was written and directed by Gillian Robespierre - the same woman that did the movie Obvious Child, a movie I really enjoyed. Also, Landline stars Jenny Slate, and I kinda fell in a little bit of love with her as Mona-Lisa Saperstein on Parks and Rec. Her voice in another world might kinda get to me because it edges on baby, but it doesn't bother me on her because I think she's fuckin funny. So that's that.

Why I'm talking about this is because this movie, Landline, has 3 scenes that are SSL reviewable, and it's my pleasure to do that reviewing now.

An SSL Review

An SSL Review, for those that need a little refresher, is a review specifically of any discussion or depiction of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I critique the realism of the depiction/discussion and also write about what the depiction/discussion says about and/or adds to our cultural understanding of female sexuality and orgasm. I try my best to just stick specifically to those SSL Reviewable moments, so it usually stays pretty focused on those parts of the movie only, but ya know, sometimes I like to digress.

So here we go. I have tons of these reviews btw. You can find all the other movie SSL Reviews HERE and the TV SSL Reviews HERE.

Scene 1: Nature Sex Ain't For Everyone
This is the first scene in the movie. It starts with voices over the titles. The way they are talking seems very casual and familiar. There's no meanness really in these lines, even though just written out they might seem that way.

Ben: Is this good?
Dana: No.
Ben: Sorry, lower?
Dana: Yeah, yes. good. good.
Ben: This is awesome.

We see a profile shot from the shoulders up of Dana (Jenny Slate). She's facing a tree and leaning against it. She's clearly getting fucked from behind, but she doesn't seem all that into it. Not upset or anything, just not really aroused.

Dana: You can come if you want to.
Ben: Okay, I'm about to.
Dana: Good.
Ben: Are you gonna come?
Dana: eh...(ignoring him and looking at a buzzing fly around her face. She swats at it, then startles slightly in concern). Did you hear that?

We see them in a wide profile now. Ben (Jay Duplass) is standing behind her with his pants around his ankles. One hand is around her waist and the other is settled on the front of her thigh. Dana's dress is hiked up and her panties are down just above her knees. Both her hands are against the tree she is facing to support her. Jay is pumping into her, but stops for a second.

Ben: Huh?
Dana: Like a woodland creature pitter patter?
Ben: Okay, (slightly exasperated) the plan was to have sex in the woods.
Dana: yeah...yeah. (trying to settle herself)
Ben: (as he begins to pump again) Okay. Are you okay?
Dana: Yeah.  Mmm Hmm.
Ben: Are you sure? Because I kinda feel like maybe you're not into it.

She screams and moves in the way people afraid of bugs scream and move. They break apart. She reveals it was a bug - a spider. Ben seems a little exasperated and little disappointed, but only slightly. She's pulling up her panties. It's over.

Dana: I'm sorry.
Ben: No. It's okay. It's cool.
Dana: (said in the way one might say, I'm sorry.) I'm not a woodland person.

Ben: Okay. (The give each other a resigned kiss) Do you want me to help you finish or...
Dana: (waving her arm as if to say, nah this is over, let's move on) No. My parents...Let's get in the car.

They finish dressing and begin to head off.

Scene 2: Park Bench Over The Pants Rub-Off
Dana's making out with a dude on the park bench, and we see him reach down towards her clit area over her jeans. The shot moves to a close up of them kissing, and he's presumably working the clit area he just touched. By her face, she seems to like it. She says, "Oh. Oh my god." It doesn't exactly seem like an orgasm vocalization, but definitely like what he's doing is gonna get her there. Then it cuts.

Scene 3: The Eating Pussy Instead Of Popcorn At The Movies
This is a quick scene. She's sitting in a movie theater. We're looking at her from the front. There are rows of seats and people in front of her. She's drinking a coke or something. We see the dude's head pop up from under her and get a drink and then move back down. When he goes back down she clearly gets some sensations she really likes and gasps and smiles and giggles and has to put her hand over her mouth. The scene ends.

Three Scenes And They All Have At Least A Glance Toward Lady-gasm  

The first scene, to me, is a distracted-lady sex scene. 
We as the audience can see that she's never gonna come because she's just too damn distracted. In this case it's because, ya know, bugs and nature and shit. It's one of the best of this genre of sex scene.

1 The guy fucking her actually notices that she's not into it and asks her about it. You don't realize how common it is to depict a distracted-lady sex scene and the dude is just completely oblivious. I don't even call those types of scenes distracted-lady scenes. I like to call them oblivious, shit partner scenes. In fact, I just reviewed a scene like that for The Year of Spectacular Men. It was supposed to be a quirky, awkward distracted scene. However, it was truly a shit partner scene even if the movie never acknowledged that reality. Those scenes normalize things I don't want normalized, well don't want normalized any more than they already are.

Point is, if one partner in sex isn't into it, that should be recognized by the group. That's just manners. But too often it seems like women being 'not into it,' and the partner not seeing it at all, although it's painfully obvious, is just played for laughs. It never seems to focus on how oblivious and shitty the partner was but how awkward the woman and the sex were. It makes it seem like women going through with sex acts even though they are truly not aroused or 'in it' at all is very, very normal, and not something the partner should think twice about.

Granted, I think these scenes are sadly pretty realistic because that's what's actually happening way too often out here in the real world, but it's kinda fucked up if you really think about how shitty and gross a sex act is if you are completely unaroused, and how much you miss by not being in arousing sex acts.

Plus, and let's be honest here, assuming it's fine to not notice if the women/person you're with is not aroused or into the sex you're doing to them is, well, a slippery slope towards rapey-ness. It's bad that women feel they need to keep going, and bad men feel they shouldn't stop and take stock if she's losing interest. All that to point out clearly that I really appreciate that this character even noticed her and asked about her. It's real basic, so basic we shouldn't be applauding it, but sadly - that kind of thing is still worth applauding.

2 Ben asked if she wants him to help her finish. Again, this should be too basic to applaud, but it is incredibly, sadly, still applaud-worthy (Ben's for sure a Good Boy who deserves an Award. Look it up). I mean, usually if a woman is not depicted coming during a sex act, no one bats an eye. It's just the natural way of things because either he finished so the sex is over, or he didn't finish so the sex is over. Period. So, I appreciate that he asks about it. It helps to normalize a situation in which ladaygasm is as intergral to the sex act as the male orgasm is.

However, it's not perfect. Overall, this scene was just a gal getting a penis pumped into her vagina from behind. There were no hands or anything stimulating her clit area, so realistically this situation would not be something one would expect to make a lady come, even if she weren't distracted.

So, although she didn't come (which is realistic in this situation no matter how you slice it, and I appreciate they kept it realistic), and there was the uncommon and lovely to see 'ask' about her ladygasm, it's still quite intercourse-centric. The thing is, why would he even ask her if she was going to come? Ain't nobody working that clit, so the answer is no, Ben.

Seriously there is no physical evidence that stimulating the inside of the vagina, like one does during intercourse,  has ever caused an orgasm in all of scientific literature. So, ya know, expecting her to come by getting fucked from behind is ridiculous...even though people all over expect that to happen all the time because as a culture we're truly ignorant about how female orgasms happen...but I digress. Like I said, it's a good scene -SSL Review speaking - but it's not perfect.

The 2nd and 3rd scene, however are pretty much on point. 
Both are a scene between a man and woman where stimulation to the lady genitals is depicted, but not to the male. Not only that, but where the stimulation is happening - to the clit/vuvla area - is realistically a place where stimulation could realistically bring her to orgasm. Now technically neither of these depict an orgasm, and thus are not technically SSL Reviewable. They both stop before the orgasm. However, I couldn't not SSL Review them because both show that she is likely on her way there. Plus, giving total focus to manual and oral stimulation on a lady is fairly rare in media. I had to.

Scenes like these will help to balance depictions of sex in media by adding weight to the realistic lady-stimulation-for-lady-gasm side. This is incredibly important because the more we see things in the media, the more normalized they become, which makes it seem more like things other people do, which means it isn't abnormal (not weird, maybe even cool), and from that point it places itself into the possibilities of our sex activities. It becomes something people do, and thus something you could do. With enough normalization it might even become something that seems naturally part of sex. It's a long road, but man, if clit stimulation becomes as normal a part of sex as penis stimulation - this orgasm gap thing would be on its way out.

The Vulva Rating
I think those last 2 scenes that focus exclusively on actual sexual interactions that might lead to her orgasm is not only cool and awesomely normalizing of clit-stimulation, but it also makes goddamn sense. She's the main character and why wouldn't the scenes of her exciting sex adventures focus on her?

The opening scene is realistically unorgasmic, but I'm not certain if the intention behind the lack of orgasm was because she was not into it (and so maybe not into diddling her clit while she got fucked because she just wanted to get it over with and away from the bugs) or if it was because she wasn't into it and thus was mentally not able to come from what was happening to her. The first way would acknowledge that the fucking alone with no additional clitoral/vulva stimulation would not realistically be expected to make her come and the 2nd way assumes that with the right mental state, getting fucked that way would realistically make her come. The first way makes sense and the second way is silly, misinformed, and problematic.

Truth is though, I don't know which it is. I could see either way. The dude does ask her at the end, even though he didn't come, if she wants him to help her come. That seems to me like he's talking about manual stimulation and that makes me think he was meant to understand that this is how she comes, but again, I'm making assumptions. I like that he asks, though. It heightens the importance of her orgasm in the sexual encounter which rarely happens for female characters (and sadly actual females). I also appreciate that he notices that she's not into the sex, asks her about it, and discontinues the sex without too much sulking when it's clearly done on her end. So, him even noticing her distraction is rare, and although a bare minimum of considerate human interaction, much appreciated. Oh, the things we could discuss about women's willingness to do sex stuff that sucks and men's willingness to ignore how much it sucks for their partners is huge, people. Huuuge.

All that to say that I like the tone of this movie and it's general direction of noticing and talking about and depicting clitoral stimulation and female orgasm focused sex act. It feels to me like there was real intention to be thoughtful about lady-sex needs. Yes, there is this sense in the first sex scene that maybe getting banged with no extra clitoral stimulation might be enough to get a woman off, and yes, I think most audience members would just take that sense in without question because it is so normal of a thing. But that scene also insinuates other better things too, and it makes me want to be kind with my vulva rating, so I'm giving this a 4 1/2 out of 5 vulva rating.

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Sex And The City S5 E1-7: A Retro SSL Review

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 ***First, sorry for the delay in posts. Day job has taken priority lately. I still love you all though, and I love talking/reading/writing about ladygasms. Does anyone want to fund my life, no strings attached, while I read journal articles about women jerking off in labs and in MRI machines? It's gonna have to be enough to fund my movie theater and popcorn habit and also I don't cook as much as I should. I eat out a whole lot, and I'd also like to travel some, ya know, visit some friends in different cities - that sort of thing. I'm just saying I don't wanna change my lifestyle, but ya know, I would just like for someone else to pay for it. But anyway... ***

My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

The fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.

Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

Sex and the City Season 5 Episodes 1-7

Season 5 Ep 1
---
Season 5 Ep 2
---
Season 5 Ep 3
---
Season 5 Ep 4
-Miranda - guy under covers eating her out - she orgasms. Same guy eating Miranda, but we don't see her orgasm becacuse she's worried about his face glazed with her juices.

Season 5 Ep 5
-Miranda missionary - he's definitely pumping . She's doing nothing - trying to orgasm, but baby cries and he stops.

Season 5 Ep 6
-Sam's "decided to reward herself for her day of R+R but unfortunately her favorite vibrator needed a little R+R." Her vibrator wasn't working.
- She takes "neck massager" vibrator back to Sharper Image. They say they don't sell vibrators. She says whatever - then gives vibrator advice to other 'neck massager' buying women.

Season 5 Ep 7
Miranda - It's times like this when I wish women could go to male prostitutes. Charlotte says women don't go to prostitutes because they don't think of sex that way. Other girls disagree. Carrie going to see Big to get laid.

Modern Day Me Comments
First things first. I am always supportive of and happy to see a female character unabashedly open about masturbating and using vibrators. As I always say, the more women we see that masturbate, the more masturbating seems normal for women, the more women feel entitled to masturbate. The more women actually masturbate, the more they orgasm. The more they orgasm on their own, the more likely they are to figure out how to orgasm with a sexual partner and the more entitled they feel to ask for and expect the physical things during sex that will give them an orgasm. So respect for that.

Secondly, I also like to see a woman enjoying oral sex, and an orgasm from that is physically realistic (unlike the incredibly physically unrealistic orgasms that are so often depicted as resulting from a penis moving in and out of a vagina), so I'm all for that as well. That's a mouth on her vulva/clit area, and that's, well that's, the good stuff. I'm not, however, into the the whole scenario in the episode (because I do remember these episodes) where Miranda doesn't like kissing him after he's done because he's got puss-juice on his face. A lady's got to just get over that. Sex is gross, and you got to take the mess with the cunnilingus. I mean, if you want him to do a quick wipe of the mouth first, I get it, but like, you just can't worry about it so much that you can't enjoy the eat out. That's just sad state of affairs.

Thirdly, and this isn't really related to an SSL review but I want to say it anyway, I too wish there were male prostitutes out there for women. I mean, I know there are, but certainly not as many as there are women out there for men, and probably not very many good ones - I want good ones, and particularly I'd like the ol' happy ending situation that seems to be fairly available to men who are looking for that sort of thing. Like, why can't there be some dudes that will give you a little massage and then throw a glove on and jerk you off, manually or with a vibrator - your choice?...and these dudes should be as experienced and knowledgeable about the clit as most lady-prostitutes are about penises. I think that's a simple thing to ask. So, let'e legalize responsible sex work and also make sure the ladies have sensible, actually orgasmic options, can we? That's all I'm saying.

Fourth, seems I wrote my name 3 times at the top of this page of notes. If I know myself and my hand writing, I'd say I was trying to make my cursive Ts as beautiful as my 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Harvey used to write them. I've been chasing that my whole life and haven't yet succeeded.

Okay, that's it.

Game of Thrones S3 Ep 5-7 - The SSL Review

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Game of Thrones
I watched this whole series. Friends were talking about it a lot, so I started watching it a couple seasons after it started. I liked it. It took me a while to get into it, but once I did, I kept up with it. I'm no super fan, but it had some good stuff - including a few interesting lady-gasm/oral sex/clit/ladybation scenes, which of course I love because that means I can SSL review it. Now, the really interesting ones I'm not going to write about here. I'll hit those up later. For now, I'm going to SSL Review something very simple. In fact, it's barely within my technical qualifications for an SSL Review because it's just a discussion of cunnilingus but not also of lady-gasm. I think it's worth noting though, which is why we're here. First  - a refresher on SSL Reviews.

An SSL Review

Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts (unless I deem it counts because I want to talk about it), including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Wildling Ladies Like Tongue
So, if you haven't watched this show and are planning on doing so later, there might be some spoilers, but not really important ones - just giving you fair warning.

Season 3 Episode 5
So Jon Snow hooks up with this wildling woman, Ygritte. (The wildlings are the 'free people' in this show). They hook up in a cave. She gets naked, and they stand together making out for a while until he start moving his mouth down her body. When his head moves out of screen to about her groin area, it's pretty clear whatever he's doing down there was surprisingly nice. We see her beginning to enjoy that for a couple seconds and then it cuts.

Later they talk about it a bit.

Ygritte: that thing you did with your mouth, is that what Lord's do to their ladies where you come from?
Jon: I don't know. I just wanted to kiss you there is all.
Ygritte: Hmmm
Jon: You seemed to like it.
Ygritte: Aye, I liked it some. Who taught you that?
Jon: There's been no one else. Only you.

Season 3 Episode 6 
Later Ygritte and Jon are talking about a past boy in her life.

Ygritte: He wasn't good to me the way you're good to me. He didn't do that thing you do with your tongue.
Jon: Can we not talk about that here?
Ygritte: (mocking him) Can we not talk about that here. I'm Jon Snow and I'm afraid of naked girls.
Jon: Did I seem scared the other day?
Ygritte: You were trembling like a leaf.
Jon: Only in the beginning.
Ygritte: (smiling) You're a proper lover Jon Snow

Season 3 Episode 7 
Another wildling is talking big around a fire, giving advice - it's somewhat in relation to teasing Jon and Ygritte about their hook-up.

Most men fuck like dogs. No grace. No Skill. A few dozen thrusts and done. You need to be patient. Give her time. Your cock shouldn't even go near her until she's slick as a baby seal and then you go inside, but slowly. Don't poke it in like you're spearing a pig.

My Thoughts
I love that the sex between Ygritte and Jon Snow focused on him eating her out. That was clearly her highlight of that encounter. I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd think that Jon's mouth got Ygritte straight sprung, and frankly that makes sense to me. Much like the wildling was describing in Ep 7, too much sex (and as it seems Ygritte's past experiences) are nothing more than roughly spearing a vag with a dick. A mouth on the clit/vulva area is not only just a lovely feeling, but it could very possibly cause an orgasm - something getting a dick jammed in you is incredibly unlikely to even come close to. Seriously clits are the organ of female sexual pleasure - not vaginas.

I feel like this whole Jon's mouth situation endorses to all the viewers watching GOT - and there are a lot - 2 lovely things 1. that a proper lover uses his mouth on a lady's naughty bits and 2. that sex girls really like can (and should) be focused on something other than the dick in the vagina.

As for the wildlings calling for some sexual sensitivity and for getting a woman aroused (slick as a baby seal) before poking her, I appreciate that. It's true. If you are going to stick your dick in something - make sure you take the time to get it fully ready. However, it also brings the focus back to intercourse as the central part of sex between a man and a woman - which I don't love. Intercourse is already #1 with no contenders on the cultural sex list. It doesn't need any help, and it isn't a sensible way for women to orgasm. Both those things mean we need more media discussion/depictions highlighting sex acts that stimulate the clit - women's organ of sexual pleasure - to get that clit some more cultural star status.

The Vulva Rating
I love the focus on and praise of cunnilingus within a sexual act. We need more of that - especially in relation to a 'first time.' I thought the dog-seal-pig discussion later brought focus a bit too much back to intercourse though. I'm going to give these episodes a respectable 4 out of 5 vulva rating.

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Inside Amy Schumer S2 Ep4 - The SSL Review

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Inside Amy Schumer 
This show makes me laugh, and here's the best part - Amy Schumer tends to bring it when it comes to realism and female sexuality. She brought it in her movie Trainwreck, in The Joe Rogan Podcast, and largely in the other episodes of this show I've SSL Reviewed so far. She has shown a strong willingness to give the clit the glory it deserves, speak some truths about lady sex experiences, rep for actual lady-gasms - all things largely absent in media and also incredibly important to Orgasm Equality. (She could use some schooling and humbling when it comes to speaking about race though - but that's pretty true of a lot of us).

The SSL Reviewable
There is plenty to SSL Review in this show. And for those that don't yet know, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

The SSL Review

I'll describe this (kinda murky) SSL Reviewable scene and then discuss it a bit. 

Season 2 Episode 4: Give me the payoff

This scene is in a skit where basically she goes to a hotel and they treat her like an absolute queen from the moment she checks in until she checks out, and then they abruptly treat her like shit.
Technically, this doesn't specifically include discussion of lady-bation, lady-gasms, or the clit, but it mentions getting eaten out, and that kind of encompasses the last 2 in my opinion. Plus, I just have a small beef with it that I want to mention.

The desk clerk asks her during her check in,"Would you like to to be awakened by a kiss on the cheek or a stranger going down on you?"
She answers, "Oh, I don't know...I guess the latter?"

My Comments
Here's the thing though. We see her wake up, and there's no one going down on her. Other magical things happened, so it wouldn't be out of place. It sounds like a great way to wake up, and I just think it would have been enjoyable to see. That's my small beef.

However, I like that 'having a stranger go down on you' was a choice the writers decided to put in. I think it's just a nice way to normalize the idea that women like sexual satisfaction for sexual satisfaction sake. Plus the writers did that using oral sex, which is focused on the clitoral glans, and thus actually quite orgasmic for women, instead of something like intercourse that is traditionally seen as something orgasmic for women, but actually not a sensibly orgasmic act.

Vulva Rating
Even though this is technically not SSL Reviewable, I'm gonna review it anyway because I can and because I respect any piece of media that randomly throws getting-eaten-out-by-a-stranger at us with a positive light, We need all the reminders we can get that women like their clits stimulated by mouths. We are already really clear that dude's like mouths on their penises. We should be just as clear on that about clits - because as people have been bravely reminding us lately, men are getting more oral than ladies, and it's bullshit.

So, it's not super revolutionary, but it's good. I'll give it 4 out of 5 vulvas.

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Insecure S2 Ep1: The SSL Review

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Insecure 
I watched seasons 1 and 2 of Insecure last fall and took notes, but haven't gotten to writing any SSL Reviews until now. Turns out the first actual SSL Reviewable moment wasn't until the opening show for the second season. Not that there hadn't been sex on the show up to that point - there for sure had been, but none of it to that point had included an orgasm or any clit action for me to speak about.

Frankly, it had all mostly just been scenes of dudes banging ladies that cut before anyone came - no clit touching involved. That's pretty much the status quo on sex scenes, so not surprising, but I will say I was hoping for more when I started this. Given that the star of the show, Issa Rae, a woman, is also the creator and a writer and that there are often female directors on this show, I was excited for a more progressive, lady-gasm focused depiction of sex and sexuality. It certainly is a progressive show in many other ways and worth watching, just a bit sexually status quo.

It ended up being pretty basic; an occasional go-down or masturbation scene, but the sex is no different than we'd see in porn or any other mainstream media. It's male-gasm centric and mostly PinV-minus-the-clit. I should expect that by now though, it's the same with other HBO shows like Sex and the City and Girls that are touted as being more progressive and lady-sex-centric than your average fare...when really they just tend to show/say more sex, but not more progressive depictions of it.

SSL Reviews
As a quick reminder, SSL Reviews are depiction or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation and/or the clit. Only those specific things are reviewed - other discussions or depictions of sex or sexuality not within the above confines are for the most part not of interest to me. In these reviews,  I critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

S2 Ep1 - Side Sex

I'm going to describe below the one SSL Reviewable scene, but I'm not going to use the character's names. I'm going to call them Lady and Dude because if you haven't watched this show yet, and you are planning on watching it, I don't want to ruin anything for you...and in this instance the characters involved in this scene don't really matter much to my assessment.

So, Dude and Lady are in bed. He's fucking her from behind, but they are both on their sides. We're looking at them from his back. She definitely comes - audibly. We aren't really able to see what's going on with her hands because they are in front of her body, so there is a tiny possibility she's rubbing one out while getting banged, but also, no - because even if we can't see her hands really, it distinctly doesn't look like she's moving her arms or hands around on her vuvla/clit area. She's just got her arms on the bed in front of her probably. His hands are not rubbing on her vulva either.

So, this is a scene where a woman gets boned from behind with no hands or vibe on her vuvla/clit area. She's basically just getting her vaginal canal stimulated by a penis, and that, as I do indeed point out in about every post, is not a way that has caused a woman to orgasm anywhere in all of scientific literature. For real. A penis moving in a vagina with no additional clitoral glans stimulation is simply not a realistic way to depict a woman coming - even though for some godawful reason, it's the most common way to show it.

My Review (enough with the shit sex scenes)
So this does not get a good vulva rating from me. Depictions of woman getting banged into an orgasm without even a touch to the clitoral glans/vulva area is a very, very major part of the orgasm inequality problem. It's incredibly unrealistic, like showing a dude coming only from getting his balls sucked. Yet, we continue to drive this anatomically incorrect nonsense into women and men's heads, and it makes everyone assume that a quick bone should get a woman off as easily as it gets the man off. It's a lie that leads to confusion, shame, faking, and a basic misunderstanding about how the female body works and about how one should approach sex with a woman if one wants that women to orgasm.

I hate scenes like this. They clearly are not progressive in terms of orgasm equality, but they are also not intentionally regressive either. These kinds of scenes are so part of our cultural fabric that I think they get made without much thought...like, they get made because they look like what we think a sex scene should look like. So, I have some softness about these because although I find them incredibly harmful, I also see that they are just status quo and there isn't bad intention behind them usually, just lack of critical thought. This show puts critical thought into a lot of other topics though, so I'm not too mad at the shit sex scenes.

But man, I'd love to see some more female-centric sex stuff in season 3 and beyond. The sex up to this episode has been 100% banging with no clit stuff. I did get excited once in S1 Ep6 where a dude went down on Issa's friend Molly, but she stopped him shortly into it because she couldn't get over that he got his dick sucked by a dude once. I mean first, just get over that shit - who cares (and the show actually did a really nice job addressing that issue), but second, even if you are freaked out, Molly, don't give up your chance for your clit to be sucked into an orgasm. Those chances don't come around near often enough. Come on now, if you can't deal with the dude, then just get yours and get out. SMH

The Vulva Rating
So this episode will get a 2 star rating. It piled onto the massive amount of anatomically incorrect sex scenes out there where women orgasm in incredibly unrealistic ways. These just add to our cultural ignorance of how female orgasm works and causes women to feel shamed and confused about their inability to orgasm in ways that our media makes seem so easy. It ain't a great, but I also don't feel like it's intentionally bad, so I won't take all the vulvas away.
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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2 - The SSL Review

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Crazy Ex-GirlFriend
I do quite enjoy this show. It's a wild ride. I respect that. I also love the creator and star, Rachel Bloom. She is an Orgasm Equality advocate, ya'll. She dropped some truth bombs on Twitter, and I loved it. I wrote a post about it and made her an official Orgasm Equality Ally She also drops in subtle accurate, realistic depictions and discussions of lady-gasm stuff in her show, which honestly, is my dream of dreams. If all shows did this, we wouldn't have much of a problem anymore.

Anyway, it's a network show so there's not a ton of orgasm, masturbation, and clit stuff being thrown around for obvious reasons, but there are these things from time to time that can be SSL Reviewd. For a refresher, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality. I have 3 simple ones from Season 2 to talk about here.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

S2 Ep2 - The Worst
You don't really need context for this, although if you watch the show, you'll probably know what it's referring to. Either way, Rebecca, the main character played by Rachel Bloom, says the following.

"Maybe this dream won't be like my vibrator, breaking when I need it the most."

What's important here, my friends, is that a woman on television mentioned her vibrator, letting us all know that she does in fact own one. And, given that she wants it to work when she needs it, we can also assume that she masturbates. It's as simple as this. The more women we hear of that admit to masturbating without shame, the more young ladies and women will feel it's okay to do so. It helps with slow normalization of lady-bation, and that helps with women knowing what the fuck we physically need in order to orgasm (which, of course, is an essential ingredient in orgasm equality).

S2 Ep 4 - Not on my Chest!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical TV show. So...there's musical numbers, and one of them was sung (and tapped out) by 2 dudes that have had sexual relations with the main character. It's kind of a hallucination, and these 2 dudes are kind of playfully taunting her. They're basically describing all the places they tapped that ass (you can check out the video below). Then between the 2 guys they sing,

"Hey, does this ring a bell?"
 (in a feminine voice) "A little to the left. Okay now, a little to the right. Oh, oh, back to the left. Right there, right there. Wait no, you're doing it wrong. I'll do it myself!"

Clearly, the insinuation here is related to her giving instructions to her partner about where to stimulate in order to get her off. We have no idea what exactly and where they are referring to. I'd have to assume it's a hand or mouth on the clit/vulva area, but we don't really know, so I can't speak to whether their discussion here reflects physical realism for how a woman might need to be stimulated to orgasm. What I can say is that when they, even with her instructions, weren't getting her off, she clearly took matters into her own hands, and I give that a big orgasm equality high five. I mean, if they're doing it wrong, then hell yeah do it yourself. That's what a gal's got to do. I like the simple fact that we can clearly see that she desired her orgasm so much she took the time and energy to ensure it happened.

Because she should. Because we all should. Because men mostly do that, and women too often feel they can't or shouldn't and so we often don't.

It's a simple thing, but I like the statement it makes and the example it sets.

On the other side of the coin, it is true they are kind of making fun of her with that line, and her persistence towards her orgasm could seem to the audience more negative than positive. I see that this is possible, and certainly sticking negative connotations on a woman's interest in pursuing her own orgasm is not uncommon (see my review of 40 Year Old Virgin, mkay) and definitely a backward step for orgasm equality, but I don't think that's what's happening. I think they're making gentle fun of her the entire time - this line and every other line. It's, like, just slightly annoying to her that they're singing about any of it. So, I think 'doing it herself' is not exactly put in a positive light, but it's also not really put in a negative light either. It's just there, and that's fine with me. If it's just there, then people can soak it in and get just a little more used to the idea of a woman (themselves or their partner) being assertive about her orgasm, because, hey - if a character in a TV show is, other people can be too.


S2 Ep...

S2 Ep 6 - Eat it
Again, I don't really think you need much context here. In this episode a dude that Rebecca doesn't really care about named Trent asks her if she wants to have sex again. She's like, 'okay,' and then he rolls toward her. As he does this, she pushes his head down and says, "Nope, nope, nope, you gotta pay the toll first." Then from 'down there' we hear him say, "This is my favorite!"

It's lovely in all the ways. Some guy that's kinda desperate for her but that she's not into wants to have sex, and what does she do? Does she get her vag hole out for him to rub off inside of while she does not orgasm (I mean intercourse ain't great for lady-gams)? No, she gets some head and absolutely (well presumably) orgasms. That's what we gals need to do more of - get ours and not worry too much about his. He'll be okay.

The Vulva Rating
Three specific times this season, Rebecca makes it clear that her orgasm is important to her and she pursues it without shame. That's the kind of thing we need to see because we simply don't see that enough. Granted, Rebecca is a bit of a flawed personality which risks giving her sexual assertiveness a negative overall connotation, but then again she's the main character. Even if main characters are problematic, they are our friends in a way, and so the things they do become things that seem possible for people to do, and that's all I'm looking for. I give season 2 a full 5 out of 5 vulvas.

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Inside Amy Schumer S2 Ep3: The SSL Review

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Inside Amy Schumer Season 2 Episode 3
This show makes me laugh, and here's the best part - Amy Schumer tends to bring it when it comes to realism and female sexuality. She brought it in her movie Trainwreck, in The Joe Rogan Podcast, and largely in the other episodes of this show I've SSL Reviewed so far. She has shown a strong willingness to give the clit the glory it deserves, speak some truths about lady sex experiences, rep for actual lady-gasms - all things largely absent in media and also incredibly important to Orgasm Equality. (She could use some schooling and humbling when it comes to speaking about race though - but that's pretty true of a lot of us).

The SSL Reviewable
There is plenty to SSL Review in this show. And for those that don't yet know, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

Prom The Right Way
This one will be a really quick SSL Review, and it's maybe not even technically SSL Review eligible, but i think it's close enough. It talks about getting eaten out,and that is close enough to clits and lady-gasms.

This is a skit where Amy decides to go to prom with a kid as charity. You know, like how Ronda Rousey went to prom with that Marine that asked her out online. all you need to know, though about this skit is the following:

She's all dressed up and she opens her cabinet and grabs a bunch of condoms from a basket marked "condoms" and then says, "Wait, he's still in high school." So, she puts those back and grabs from a basket marked dental dams and says, "Well, I hope this kid's ready to eat a shit ton of pussy."

My Thoughts
What can one say about this. Listen, I know it's wrong for adults to take sexual advantage of underage teens. I get that. It's not a laughing matter, but then again, it's joked about all the time with dudes and young gals. Sure, the dudes in these jokes are made out to be skeezes, but the jokes are still there. Like the first thing that pops into my head is Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. He has a classic line: "That's what I love about these High School girls, man. I get older. They stay the same age. Yes, they do."



So, it's not so bad to have a joke with a skeezy woman lusting after high school boys. It's evening the playing field....which I actually kind of appreciate.

Of course, I would have liked it even better if her first thought hadn't been condoms (insinuating intercourse, obviously), and instead had been getting her pussy ate from jump. However, that she brought the oral in at all is excellent in my humble opinion. Anytime an unabashed desire for getting one's lady-junk licked is put out there in the world, it gets a little more normalized, which I think, leads to more ladies asking for it and more men giving it away freely.

So thanks Amy, you skeezy fuck.

Vulva Rating
There's nothing revolutionary here, and it is a little illegal-ish, so this will get a solid, but not perfect 4 out of 5 vulvas.

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Sex And The City S1 E3-7: A Retro SSL Review

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My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

Anyway, the fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.

Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

Sex and the City Season 1 Episodes 3 - 7

Season 1 Ep 3

Season 1 Ep 4 
-Sam talking about all the positions - she got fucked in - they were obviously totally orgasmic for her.
-Sam tells Charlotte back door with the right guy and right lubricant is wonderful
-Carrie gets off top of him and says it was great then V.O. says "then when I thought it couldn't get any better, he spooned me." {in the margin next to this I wrote: intercourse was good but cuddling is better}

Season 1 Ep 5
- Woman tells Carrie her man has tiny penis but knows just how to use it
-Sam says: money is power, sex is power - just an exchange of power
- Miranda says, 'don't listen to the dime store Camille Paglia'
-sex for money - Carrie said would bring down her morals

Season 1 Ep 6

Season 1 Ep 7
-Charlotte doesn't like to give head
-oral sex  - Miranda said oral sex is god's gift to women - but then Sam said cock-sucking is power --- so confused 2 types of oral sex
-Then Miranda and Sam both said they only give oral sex to get it.

My Thoughts
I must have been tired or bored when I was watching these because they are even less clear about what was happening in the episodes than normal. Also, though, there wasn't really anything in these episodes that I consider SSL Reviewable these days. There was technically no discussion or depiction of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. It's more just female sexuality related comments that are not eligible for review that I wrote down.

At the time I was taking notes for these, though, I was still writing the movie and I wasn't quite as focused in my point of view as I am now. Plus, I was just writing down things that were kinda interesting to me - like Miranda calling Samantha a dime store Camille Paglia. I kinda liked that because I had recently learned about and read some Camille Paglia and her sort of patriarchy infused brand of feminism.

I thought it a good burn by Miranda. I thought, and still do, that the archetype that the Samantha character inhabits of an uber sexual woman, but specifically ubersexual in the way that is incredibly pleasing and deeply in line with male orgasm, desire, and fantasy is, well, not that progressive, and also straight up fraudulent in its depiction of what actually is physically orgasmic to women. I mean, how many times in this show does Samantha get her brains fucked out (i.e. getting her vaginal canal stimulated by a ramming penis) and orgasms without ever even having anything close to stimulation on her clitoral glans area? A lot -that's how many, and it's BS. That's simply not a sensible or realistic way to depict women coming.

Even though it is depicted like that all the time, it's still BS, and Samantha is, as Miranda insinuated, a sort of hallow, patriarchy infused, brand of sexual feminism. Her character is aligned less to actual reality of the female body/sexuality/orgasm, and more to pretending that sexiness and the acts of exuberantly engaging in penis-focused sex cause orgasm in females. This archetype that Samantha inhabits is no a progressive, sexually liberated woman. That idea of her is largely false, and the uber sexual Samantha archetype, that talks above about how great and presumably orgasmic all the different intercourse positions she's done are, is just a trick that we ladies are always falling for.

I do, however, like Miranda talking about how lovely oral sex is. I mean, that's a mouth on the clit, and that actually could be(and often is, amiright?) orgasmic for a women, and I'll also give Samantha some props for enjoying it enough to admit she only gives in order to get that sweet, sweet, oral. Samantha get's it right sometimes.



.

Lady-gasm Advice for Becca, The Bachelorette

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Okay - 2 things.

1. I'm still settling into my new job and my new city and I've not been able to prioritize this blog as much as I'd like still, but I also love the shit out of this blog and have a thousand things I still want to write, so I'm not gonna go long periods without writing on here. Ya gotta stick with this kind of thing if you don't want people to forget about it, amiright? That means I gotta think up and write some things quick-style - but things I think are worth writing to some degree. This is what you'll be seeing here...because I'm in a new city and haven't made any friends outside of work and want to go to a local music show (I don't even really love going to live local music shows that much, but you know - ya gotta meet people) here in about 20 minutes, but Ima gonna get a post up first.

2. A friend convinced me to watch the Bachelorette, and I did. I watched the first episode, and I'm gonna get in on her group chat for the rest of them, because, well, it will be fun.

That's the two things you need to know for background. Here is the 3rd thing that actually has to do with the subject of this blog...lady-gasms.

3. Becca, the current Bachelorette, is living in a mansion with 28...well now only 22 I think, mostly hot dudes. They are scrambling to please her. If this lady does not take advantage of this and have a dude working that clit every night, I'm gonna flip my coffee table. This is the most golden of opportunities.

That arrogant, blonde, date-rape-face model who keeps running his mouth about how hot he is even though he's very much not the hottest dude there? Shut his mouth up by rubbing your vulva against it until you come, Becca. Then send him way and sleep like a queen in your mansion bed.

That guy that dressed up in a chicken suit to meet you so he could be memorable by making the sound Bekaw..bekaw until it turned into Becca? He tries too hard, and you need to capitalize on that and make him work. Get some toys and let him work those out on you. Maybe a vibe in the whole, a vibe on the clit (he's got two hands), and then he better be using that dumb mouth to talk dirty to you. If not, bye chicken.

The dude you love for some reason after he did a cheap-ass trick by rolling up to meet you in a mini-van full of car seats and baby crap. That's weird, and it makes me sad you went all melty about it, Becca. Get your shit together, don't fall for him, but do get a handy from him in that minivan. If he's good with his fingers on the clit...then maybe give him a chance, but just a small chance.

What I'm saying Becca, is that you better live this out right for all of us women who don't get the chance to have 20 sexy men at our beck and call all night. Please. I mean, I've never seen this show before really, but I KNOW the Bachelor makes use of the score of ladies desperate to please him. It's about equality, Becca...and also about just some good ol' gettin' off...but also equality.

Sex And The City S1 E1-2: A Retro SSL Review

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My new little segment is back for a another round (Here's the others). It's a modified, lazy version of an SSL Review. It's just me transcribing my notes, page by page, on all of the Sex and the City episodes. I watched them all - not necessarily in order - during 2007 and 2008, and I took notes on the depiction/discussion of female orgasm and female masturbation. It was my early attempt at this type of lady-gasm review stuff. Anyway, I never actually created reviews from these notes, but since they exist, I'd like to get them out there on the interwebs before they get burned in a house fire or something...thus this series.

Ramona and my SATC Notes

Anyway, the fun of this will be that I will transcribe these as word for word as I can while still trying to make it be a sensible read. I'll post a pick of the notes for your reference. I'll do one or more episodes at a time - from the beginning of the notebook to the end. I may add notes for clarification or add my SSL-Review-style comments.

Hopefully the notes I took privately 10 years ago won't make me look like a dumb asshole. I will add them in the TV SSL Review Master List  (of course you are also welcome to check out the Movie SSL Review Master List as well). Here we go.

Sex And The City Season 1 Episodes 1 and 2

Season 1 Episode 1
- Go have sex "like a man"  - meaning withouth feelings
-Carrie doing guy who was best sex of her life  - she orgasms off camera, he comes up from under covers. He says, "My Turn." She says, "no - gotta go." V.O says it was good especially without all the emotional shit.
    very good
Except - the dude sees Carrie later and says it's awesome that she understands the sex relationship he always wanted  - but in V.O. she says she doesn't get it.
-Samantha goes home with guy then he looks like he's going down on her.

Season 1 Episode 2
-Some dude Carrie's talking to showed her sex tapes w/ him and models, looks like porn - he's self-involved and the girls seem to be enjoying themselves.
-Samantha being fucked. They tape it - she's looking at the camera like he was (me: in the model videos).

My Thoughts
I actually just watched these episodes again recently with a friend, so I'm pretty familiar at this moment with what was happening in them. I really LOVED that when Carrie decided she should try to 'have sex like a man' they depicted it in what I think it the most important and kinda least discussed aspect of 'having sex like a man' - which is getting your orgasm without your partner not getting one.

She got her orgasm from a little oral and said - 'see ya.' I. Love. That.

They talked a lot about sex like a man being about lack of emotion, but I think that's just something this world tells itself to sooth the deep sad fact that men have the luxury of pursuing sex with the opposite sex just to get off and women really don't have that luxury...I mean we can, but it's just so fucking hard to do it.

We can get off, it's not like female bodies are less capable, It's just that the 'normal' sex scripts are not focused on the clitoral glans (which is what women need stimulated to orgasm) and uber-focused on the penis and intercourse (which is shit at getting women off). For a woman to orgasm with a man, she needs to be very specific and direct and have a man that doesn't get offended or confused in order to move past the basic not-great-for-lady-gasm sexual scripts that we all tend to just move through without much discussion. Plus, even if the guy is cool to try whatever and the gal is very clear and knows what to tell him to get her off, there's this weird thing where maybe being so specific and detailed and worrying how it might be received gets her into her head and out of her arousal, and maybe even if the guy is cool with it, it's not something in his normal sex toolbox and he feels a little in his head and out of his arousal as well.

I'm just saying it's an up-hill battle for women. However, for men, the normal sexual scripts, if everyone plays along - and we all often do, are great for his orgasm. And a vagina to put his dick in, even if there is no sexual skill in that woman with the vagina, is a FAB masturbation tool for a dick, so there's a lot going right for the dude-gasm.

Point is, I think it's a bunch of B.S. to pin the way men have sex on a lack of emotion. Men have the luxury of not having to focus so much on the emotional parts of sex because they, unlike women have the orgasmic parts of sex so available to them that they can hang their hats on that in a way women can't. That's the real story you should be writing about, Ms. Bradshaw. (but she doesn't, buy the end of the episode she just kinda ignores the whole orgasm aspect and brings it back to emotion - Blah)

Other than that - I liked seeing Samantha's sexual encounter allude to some cunnilingus. I just obviously appreciate 2 pussy-eatings in the first episodes in the first episode of a female centric TV show about sex.

Also, there was no orgasm in the model tapes or the Samantha and model-guy tape, so I can't really SSL review it. You're free to make your own thoughts up about it.

Inside Amy Schumer S3 Ep10 - The SSL Review

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Inside Amy Schumer Season1 Episode 8
This show makes me laugh, and here's the best part - Amy Schumer tends to bring it when it comes to realism and female sexuality. She brought it in her movie Trainwreck, in The Joe Rogan Podcast, and largely in the other episodes of this show I've SSL Reviewed so far. She has shown a strong willingness to give the clit the glory it deserves, speak some truths about lady sex experiences, rep for actual lady-gasms - all things largely absent in media and also incredibly important to Orgasm Equality. (She could use some schooling and humbling when it comes to speaking about race though - but that's pretty true of a lot of us).

The SSL Reviewable
There is plenty to SSL Review in this show. And for those that don't yet know, an SSL Review is a critique specifically of discussions or depictions of female orgasm, female masturbation, or the clit. I focus on that and really only that (unless I want to talk about something else). I'm looking mainly at realism and about how the depiction/discussion plays in the larger cultural conversation about female orgasm and women's sexuality.

Please, my friends, do enjoy more SSL Reviews for MOVIES and TV SHOWS.

Cave of Wonders

The scene in question here (It's embedded below if you'd like to watch it) is one in which Amy is in bed with a dude - seems like a hook up of some sort.

Dude: My God you're so hot. Let me go down on you please.
Amy: Yeah, but I should give you a heads up. It takes me a while.
Dude: I don't mind. 

Amy: Have at it.

He goes under the covers, and we see him crawling under them towards her junk (This is clearly an exaggerated depiction of going under the covers and making your way towards lady parts). He gets to it, and he's looking at it in amazement. A glow is coming from it.

Dude: (amazed) what the...

Above the covers she's just chill in the bed. We don't see him because he's under the covers. She starts reads a long Russian novel.

Back under the covers, it's like he's walked into her vagina. It's a soft, childish pink cave-like set. He finds a lantern, takes it, goes up to a skeleton holding a map. As he takes the map, the skeleton's head falls off, and he screams.
In the meantime, Amy is eating chinese take-out and complaining to the restaurant about the order on the phone.
We cut back to a shot of the dude with, like, the cosmos flying past his head. He's looking ahead and says,

Dude: My god. It's full of stars.

It cuts to Amy's face. She's breathing out a simple orgasm, then says

Amy: Wooo

 As he's popping up from under the covers, she says

Amy: Oh my god, that was so good. You wanna have sex.

He's aged at least 40 years.

Dude: Hey listen huh, this was great, but I gotta be up early in the morning, so I'll just let myself out.

She's slightly surprised, but says okay and it ends.

The Labor Of Lady-Oral
This skit reinforces incorrect stereotypes
This is a tough one for me to give a clear SSL Review on because it's a bit mixed. On one hand it reinforces all the the somewhat problematic ideas our culture has about about ladygasms and cunnilingus....that it takes a really long time (he ages 40 years), that it is incredibly difficult (people died and turned to bones trying to figure it out in the past), that it's incredibly complicated (he needs a map), and it's a mystical event (I mean, he said it's full of stars...which now that I think of it must be what they're referring to in romance novel lady-gasms where women are shattering into a thousand pieces and becoming one with the universe when they come...right?). It's really none of those things, and the ignorance about the quite normal and not-really-any-different-from-male qualities of female orgasm and female stimulation to orgasm is a huge reason why there is such an orgasm gap.

It also makes fun of them...
On the other hand this skit really exaggerates these things in a way that pokes fun at them. The fascination with the exhausting journey / mysticism of cunnilingus and the female orgasm in this skit is all in the mind of the dude, not Amy. She's just, like, chillin' and shit. It ain't no thing to her. She's just living the dream of eating take-out whilst getting ate out, and when she comes, it's just, ya know, an orgasm. It's not some mind-blowing spectacle like we see in porn, read about in romance novels, or hear about from spiritual /goddess gurus and so many hip sexual advisers. It's just an orgasm. Like, an orgasm is cool and all, but it's no more complicated or awe-inspiring than a male orgasm. Some muscle tension gets released in a rhythmic fashion, and it usually feels pretty good. That's it.

I, in a way, read Amy's casualness with her orgasm in this skit as a realistic counter to the dude's ridiculous fascination; as if to point out how unnecessarily built up the myth and confusion is around lady-gasms and pussy-eating; to make fun of the obscene complications our culture artificially presses on women's ability to orgasm (seriously, it's not physically/biologically more complicated for women than it is for men...except that there's so much ignorance around how it works that it is actually hard for women to get and sustain the physical stimulation they need to actually orgasm).

My point is, I imagine that part of the intention with this skit was to make fun of how unnecessarily scared and ignorant men are of stimulating women to orgasm and how over-dramatic and frankly wrong we all are about the power and spirituality and complicated nature of female orgasm.

...but most people probably only take in the incorrect stereotypes
However, I also think that overall to most people it just emphasizes the already strongheld, but incorrect and harmful assumptions that the female orgasm is complicated, takes forever, and that performing oral sex to orgasmic completion on a woman is like doing brain surgery....a brain surgery that ends in a mystical, elusive, event known as an female orgasm. I just think it puts these ideas deeper into the cultural consciousness.

Which is bullshit because really oral sex for men and women is just like, ya know, getting the genitals aroused and then stimulating the clit area / penis with the consistency and the personally preferred firmness and movement until the muscles release into an orgasm. It's like no big deal, and it is never, ever full of stars.

The Vulva Rating
I am going to give this skit a complete middle of the road 3 vulvas because I think its heart is in the right place, and I like the casual realness Amy displays regarding her orgasm, but I don't think it puts out an overall message that contributes clearly to orgasm equality since it relies so heavily on stereotypes about lady-gasms and lady-licking. I like the skit generally though :)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjuIP4BPV6E