7.15.2017

Playboy 2006 SSL Review - May



Why I have a stack of decade old Playboys that I'm SSL Reviewing
Long story short I took them from my parents house thinking I would review them for this blog and then didn't actually do that for over 10 years but now want them the hell out of my house because I hate clutter and don't know how I've not thrown them away all these years. Also, I thought I had all 12 months, but some are gone. If you want the longer story, check out the 1st 2006 Playboy SSL Review I did.

SSL Review Basics
An SSL review - as many of you know is a critique ONLY of discussions or depictions of female masturbation and/or female orgasm. I critique the realism and also what the depiction/discussion adds to our culture conversations on the topics of female sexuality and orgasm. I usually do these SSL Reviews for either movies or TV, but magazines are fun from time to time. This SSL Review will be a bit more relaxed and simple than most. I'd like to have a little fun here (but I will still give it a vulva rating).

So, please enjoy the full SSL Review of the Playboy Magazine from March 2006. I will review each SSL Reviewable item starting from the front of the magazine to the back.



 1 Playboy Advisor



Thanks for publishing the question from the woman about having sex while high. I had been struggling with reaching orgasm, but when I smoked a little weed 2 nights this week, I had the biggest and best climaxes of my life. I had seen a doctor, switched my birth-control pills, masturbated - everything I could think of. Who knew reefer would be the answer?   -J.P., Chicago, IL
Glad we could help. Your assignment is to continue to search for other ways you could relax yourself to orgasm so you are bale to approach it from different directions (now we're starting to sound like a mystic.
I mean, hey, sometimes a gal's just gotta use a little something to get her mind to focus on the shit that's happening to her body, ya know...to let the pleasurable touches arouse her so she's primed to reach orgasm when the right stimulation come along.

Granted, this lady does not say what exactly was happening to her to get her to reach her top-notch orgasm. Was it some sweet manual or oral stimulation direct to the clit/vulva area, or maybe she grinded that clit the right way up against her partner while having intercourse? Who knows. I'm also not sure if she meant she was struggling to come for the first time ever...or just trying to come during intercourse - because honestly a lot of women talk about orgasm during intercourse as like the orgasm - and not having an orgasm that way often makes women think they're broken and they go to doctors and shit like this woman did (even though orgasm from stimulation inside the vagina is like not really a thing).

Either way, it's lovely she came, and it really does make sense that (as long as there is appropriate stimulation to the clit or penis area, of course) sometimes a person struggling with arousal and/or orgasm might be helped by getting a touch high. You see, getting aroused to the point of orgasm will just happen with appropriate physical stimulation, but (and this is a big but) the mind can halt that process for all kinds of reasons, so getting high might help a person keep their focus on the their body, their pleasure,and the present situation in a way that keeps the mind from halting the arousal process. Then again, for others, getting a touch high might make them paranoid as hell and put their minds on everything BUT the present sexual pleasures they are experiencing. 'Cause - you know -arousal is tricky and personal. You gotta figure out what works for you (and then if you want to actually orgasm make sure the clit is getting the attention it deserves while you are aroused enough to get there).

2 Raw Data



A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes
This was a fun fact on this page, but I'm skeptical. Looking internet stuff up on this, it seems this is only in relation to male pigs because there's just not data about if and how female pigs orgasm. It's also in relation to ejaculation not necessarily orgasm - because orgasm and ejaculation absolutely are 2 different things for both men and women, but in men they most often happen at about the same time and in women ejaculation mostly doesn't happen at all. The two words are frequently used interchangeably even though they shouldn't be.

So, not to the whole 30 minute orgasm situation. The physical part of an orgasm is defined loosely as the rhythmic release of muscle tension built up through arousal in the pelvic muscles. So, and this goes for all the BS talk of women orgasming for 30 minutes as well, you simply can't be releasing muscle tension for that long. There's only so much tension to release. You can be aroused for 30 minutes, but physically orgasming for 30 minutes just doesn't make any goddamn sense.

Anyway, it seems pigs do ejaculate (that is expel semen out) for an extraordinarily long amount of time, but there's no evidence they orgasm for that long.

3 Playboy Party Jokes



A man met a blonde in a bar, and after a few drinks they went back to her place and had wild, passionate sex. "I guess that was just about the best sex you ever had, " he said when they were done.   "What makes you say that?" she asked.    "Well," he replied, "while we were doing it, I couldn't help notice how I made your toes curl."    ""Oh,"she said, "that was just because most men take off my panty hose first."
I mean, honestly, as Playboy jokes go, this one was pretty solid because they are often less than humorous. Anyway, this kinda speaks about orgasm so I'm SSL reviewing it. I'm actually not sure what to say about it in a critical way. It's just a joke about how dumb men are about pleasing women, I think. I don't have strong feeling about this one, so I'll leave it at that.

The Vulva Rating
This was a pretty light SSL Review Playboy, and none of it was that problematic. It wasn't progressive or anything either. So, I'm going to give this one a bit better than neutral. The May 2006 Playboy gets a 3 1/2 vulva rating.

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