Hello! Today you get more RANDOM HITE REPORT! As you may or may not know, this is where I take one random page, and one page only, out of the Hite Report on Female Sexuality, a super important book from the 70's, and transcribe it for you here on the blog. This book is women answering detailed questions about their sex lives, masturbation practices, orgasms, and all that good stuff. It's incredibly interesting and insightful - and every woman should read it because it's just as relevant and revolutionary as it was when it came out in the mid 70's. Here ya go..
The following is from the chapter "Orgasm" in a section in which women are answering questions about whether they feel okay about not having an orgasm during intercourse.
Pg. 131 The Hite Report. Dell. 1976.
"I'm very wary about telling new partners I don't have orgasms because then they make it a contest to see if they can be the one to make me come. I really resent being expected to come, and almost feel forced if I don't."
"Sometimes I have felt that reaching orgasm was more a matter of satisfying my partner's desire to satisfy me more than my own desire to orgasm."
"You're supposed to be uninhibited and have orgasms, and when I do it makes him feel confident and secure. Orgasm is important, but not as important as he thinks: my orgasm is actually more important to my husband than to me!"
"Yes, I must have an orgasm. Otherwise, I'm not a real person and making him feel bad and maybe he'll abandon me. Men enjoy making love more to women who have orgasms."
"I would enjoy sex with no orgasm at times, if I felt other people weren't uptight about it, and if the reasons were my own. Maybe sex would be better if we'd never heard of orgasm."
"I'm afraid that new partners will think I'm wierd and not as sexy as other women if i don't have orgasms--or that I'm selfish and aggressive if I do!"
"I wish orgasms didn't exist. Then maybe sex would be for fun."
There is also a social pressure that says a woman who has an orgasm is more of a woman, a "real" woman. "I don't think orgasms are that important; the literature has given women another burden. But, I'm ashamed to admit, because of the myth, I feel 'good' having an orgasm--like I'm a real woman! Arrgh...."
"I can enjoy sex without orgasm, but psychologically I feel like I'm a failure, like a not totally functioning woman."
"Orgasms are continually talked about. Therefore if I don't have one, I feel inadequate."
"The ide of having orgasms is important to me, but I can certainly enjoy sex without having them. Worse than not having the orgasm is the feeling that I've failed or that I'm frigid or unsexy. I feel a lot of pressure,.."