Hello, friends. It's time for more Random Hite Report. In 1976, Shere Hite dropped The Hite Report where she compiled detailed survey answers from over 3,000 women about sex, masturbation, orgasms, and relationships. It's insane to me how revolutionary this book still is. Read it, seriously. We haven't changed that much. Then in 1981, she dropped The Hite Report on Male Sexuality where she over 7,000 men give detailed answers about sex, relationships, and women. It too is revolutionary, and the honesty and detail in this book is so important and moving, I think everyone should read this too.
So, I give you a taste every now and then to entice you to get these books. Seriously, they are both like 1 cent online. Anyway, what I do is flip to one random page and copy the contents of that page, no more-no less, directly onto this blog. Enjoy.
The Hite Report on Male Sexuality
Knopf, 1981 pg 64
This is from the chapter Being Male. In the section "What Does It Mean to Be a Man?"
Most men said, in addition to the characteristics already listed, "masculinity" was the opposite of "femininity." The real way to be a man was not to act like a woman:"It's the opposite from femininity."
"Knowing that you are not a female and should not act like one."
Feminine traits were considereed to be loving, caring, and being supportive (see pages 108-10), whereas male qualities, as we have seen, were active, independent, doing, creating, and being in charge, dominant.
Most men, when asked, "how would you feel if something about you was described as feminine or womanly said they would be angry;"Enraged. Insulted. Never mind what women are really like --- I know that he's saying: He's saying he thinks I should be submissive to him."
"Outrageous demand. I may not seek to dominate, but I will never submit when I'm shown wrong."
"To be called 'like a woman' by another man is to be humiliated by him, because most men consider women to be weak, and a man doesn't want to be considered weak."
"No matter what it was or who was making the comment, I'd be hurt, angry, and insulted.
"Chagrined. I may appear soft, but I carry a big stick, so watch out."
"When a man compares another man's behavior to a woman's, he's looking for a fight."
"Ver nervous, tense, threatened ---as if I were going to be singled out and ostracized for it."
"If I was described as having something 'like a woman's,' I would be outraged. I would defend my masculinity almost automatically. I wouldn't like being compared to a woman's anything."
But some men pointed out the stereotyping contained in these remarks, or said the wouldn't mind:"I'm sure some of my behavior is thought of as 'like a woman's' and i feel fine about it. i think it's unfortunate that men have been conditioned to think that they cannot have nay feminine qualities or they are thought of as being sissies. Men have feminine qualities and women have masculine qualities. It's as simple as that. Denial and repression of these only leads to tension and I think it's too bad that men are so instilled with the idea that they have to be 'men' all the time."
"I feel that women's characteristics are usually soft, caring, gentle, etc., and i hope people will find them in men."
"Since women are stereotyped as showing their emotions very readily, if someone said I was like that, I would be proud to have overcome my macho training."
"To be honest---I would not feel bad. If men had more characteristics of..."